View Full Version : How Gullible is your Other Half ??
Camel Spider
04-Sep-07, 01:11
Ive just convinced mine that when she uses Google Earth she is actually controlling the satellite .. :eek:
The other day I was cooking and asked her to put the untouched carrot away as I had finished with it, I dont think it has occured to her yet how you can be "finished" with an carrot.
I once changed the language on her phone and she believed me that her voice calls would come through in that language, it was set to Polish or something so I sneaked into the kitchen and phoned her, once she answered I just babbled some gobbledygook into the phone and hung up. The look on her face was priceless. I came undone though when she started suggesting languages for me to try .. :roll:
It isnt all one way, she once spread cress seeds all over my kitchen floor carpet and watered it .. I was away on a course and had a living carpet when I came back .. I wont be Gullible enough to leave her the Keys again.
Im running out of ideas though .. anyone have any suggestions ??
I remember when my ex-girlfriend went to uni in Glasgow, we'd make jokes she'd become a "weedgie" and so on.....
I remember getting a round in one night and offering her a buckfast. "Isn't that what you're used to now?"....
"There's nothing wrong with buckfast!" She replied, "I drank it with my sister and my mum before my sisters wedding, it calms the nerves!"
"What??? said I
"It's only fizzy wine and orange juice" she said
That'll be bucksfizz then.................
Metalattakk
04-Sep-07, 02:49
Ive just convinced mine that when she uses Google Earth she is actually controlling the satellite ..
HAHAHAHA! Nice one.
The wife bought me an mp3 player for my birthday. I bunged a few hundred albums-worth of songs on to it and when she picked it up she commented that it felt quite heavy.
"Well, that's because it's got so many songs on it", I said.
[lol]
It's just too easy sometimes...;)
Lolabelle
04-Sep-07, 03:26
Well! that's not very nice. :eek:
Ken401 (Also known as Dave) tried to tell me that the "navman" was a man on satelite watching our car and telling us when the round-abouts were coming up. I didn't believe him! I knew there must be some other way, but I'm still not sure how it's done. Hee hee:confused
Camel Spider
04-Sep-07, 04:16
Just had an e mail from a friend who I had told about this thread.
He was in the house with his wife one night, she is enjoying some Thorntons Toffee he has bought for her. Suddenly she stops chewing and says there is something strange in the Toffee. Conversation went something like this ..
"Look at that !!, there is a bit of metal in that Toffee !!"
"Really ?? .. Lets have a Look ??"
"Thats dangerous you know, I could sue them !!"
"I wouldnt advise it love"
"Why not ??"
"Because its one of your fillings"
Camel Spider
04-Sep-07, 04:21
HAHAHAHA! Nice one.
The wife bought me an mp3 player for my birthday. I bunged a few hundred albums-worth of songs on to it and when she picked it up she commented that it felt quite heavy.
"Well, that's because it's got so many songs on it", I said.
[lol]
It's just too easy sometimes...;)
It is isnt it. Try hiding a remote control and then time how long they waste looking for it as opposed to just using the buttons on the TV for example.
Sky Remote is a good one for that, my record is at least 5 minutes.
Dont know about other half but old daughter-in-law was peeling spuds, whats these things on the spuds she asked, they are eyes i said, well i nearly peed my pants when she held it up to the light and tried to look through it ! How thick is that !!! jan x:lol:
A friend of mine used to run a hotel, he went into the kitchen one morning and told one of the assistants that, after he peeled the tatties [in the tattie peeling machine] to do an errand for him. the assist put the spuds in the machine and thinking it would,nt take long to do the errand went off and left the peeler to do it,s job. when he came back the spuds had peeled away to nothing. so he ran up to his boss and said , ANDY, ANDY SOMEONE STOLE THE TATTIES.
when we were kids, my dad told us that if we eat his tomatos off his tomato plants, the seeds would grow inside us and we would have tomato trees growing inside and coming out our ears. Although she loves tomato sauce, soup etc, she still wont eat a raw tomato, Gullible? shes now 51! [lol]
We had a helicopter land in the field at the back of us the other week, later before it left, one of the gates was opened, when someone asked why, my husband said it was because the helicopter needed it opened so it could leave the field.
Metalattakk
04-Sep-07, 12:24
We had a helicopter land in the field at the back of us the other week, later before it left, one of the gates was opened, when someone asked why, my husband said it was because the helicopter needed it opened so it could leave the field.
That's actually true, they need the gate opened. It's a long-standing superstition for any helicopter pilot. They need the gate open so they can 'safely leave the take-off area'. You won't see a helicopter take-off from an enclosed area as it's considered extremely bad luck. Apparently.
Ask your nearest helicopter pilot - they'll tell you the same.
KILTIECAULDBUM
04-Sep-07, 14:03
My best one was when I had my girlfriend at the time, in my car. We were going to a wedding reception so were quite well dressed & it was raining.
Anyway, when I picked her up I said we had to go for petrol first as the light had just come on. When we were about 500 yards or so from the petrol station I started pressing the clutch up & down so as to imply we had ran out of petrol.
I said to her that I would try & control the car, but if she didn't rock back & forward on her seat we wouldn't make it, & as she was a non-driver she would have to get out in the rain & push us to the garage.
Well, I nearly CRASHED the car. I couldn't see for the tears & could hardly catch a breath with laughter. Obviously she didn't want the rain to ruin her "2 hours of make up work", so she was going at it like a 'fiddlers elbow', thinking she was actually able to propel the car to the petrol station by doing so.
We broke up that night funny enough??
I think the last straw came when I proudly told everyone at our table & when she came back from the toilet we were all rocking back & forward on our seats. [lol]
Very cruel I know, I was only 19 at the time, but it's STILL one of the funniest things I have ever seen. [lol]
Best one I ever did was way back when the american base was open at Forss, me and the boyfriend of the moment were at a do in the base and there were loads of us there but it was the 1st time my boyfriend had been at the base.he was going to the loo and we asked him what he wanted to drink and he asked for a beer.When he came back the bottle of Michelob was sitting on the bar with the top still on(it was a screwtop but he didn't know that ;) ) so when he asked me how to open it I told him that I had used my teeth but they were sore so he would have to do it himself!he tried and gave up so I said why don't you ask the barmaid to open it....well you should have seen his face when he said excuse me could you open this please and the barmaid said sure hun and promptly unscrewed the bottle.Me and my mates were weak with laughing and it took him days to forgive me for doing it!Even now just thinking about it makes me laugh x
OMG just thought of another one...don't know if this goes under gullible or just plain stupid tho! My 1st husband and I married young and he was a "fruiter" IF there is any such occupation anyway he worked in the coop at the fruit and veg.One day he came home for lunch and on the back of his hands were fyffes banana stickers, I asked him why he had them on the back of his hands and he said...(god wait to you hear this it will kill you lol)....When I opened the box there were these stickers and it said on them please place on back of hands before selling!In between screams of laughter I asked him what other name a bunch of bananas had and he said he didn't know of any other name but a bunch so I told him that bunches of bananas are called a hand of bananas...exit one stupid looking and feeling husband!God I nearly wet myself with that one and still take great pleasure in telling that story even after all these years :) x
orkneylass
04-Sep-07, 19:05
When I was at uni my boyfriend was on the dole. On April Fool's day, which was dole cheque day, I changed all the clocks in the house. At about 7am I woke him up and said "Quick, it's 20 to 12, we've overslept". You never saw anyone move so fast because he though he had to get to his flat, pick up the cheque and get to the post office in only 20 minutes...totally fell for it.
orkneylass
04-Sep-07, 19:11
...this is a rather perverse form of the gullible thing, but I often say something really dumb to my husband, perhaps deliberately misinterpreting something, or something really naive, and I keep a really straight face while he either laughs or looks horrified. I then tell him how gullible he is to believe I am that stupid. He always falls for it. I don't think we have the same sense of humour! Either that or he really is stupid enough to think I am dumber than him......
anneoctober
04-Sep-07, 19:13
I remember when my ex-girlfriend went to uni in Glasgow, we'd make jokes she'd become a "weedgie" and so on.....
I remember getting a round in one night and offering her a buckfast. "Isn't that what you're used to now?"....
"There's nothing wrong with buckfast!" She replied, "I drank it with my sister and my mum before my sisters wedding, it calms the nerves!"
"What??? said I
"It's only fizzy wine and orange juice" she said
That'll be bucksfizz then.................
Is this another "blonde" joke...... [lol]
percy toboggan
04-Sep-07, 19:50
Many years ago (sixties) my sister was rather dim.
Henry Cooper fought Cassius Clay at Nine pm. She wondered if they wouldn't be 'rather tired' at that hour !
Also: when the Pope died she asked why he was 'lying in steak'
She was twenty years of age.
At sixty, she has learned a lot.
webmannie
04-Sep-07, 20:43
Long time ago when i was on shifts at the 'fun factory' i'd been out on the peev straight after backshift, got home paralitic and went to bed. Her indoors gave me a nudge in the morning and told me i'd slept in, looked at the clock it was @ 8. Grabbed the phone in a panic and phoned the shift supervisor apologising profusely, telling him i'll be in straight away soon as i'd got a taxi.
All I could hear at the other end was fits of laughter, and a voice saying 'ye've been had m8, it's 8 am and this is dayshift and you're on backshift!'
To say i got a ribbing from dayshift when i came in later that day is an understatement.
Hi Folks,
Truth is..it's me that's gullible!
OH comes away with a really plausible intellectual proposition...and he presents it very well and I am all...............:eek:!
then he tells me it was a joke!
Slap me sides in amazement!;)
which one of us is wrong/disappointed/an idiot?
Karia X
I told an ex of mine that to cure hiccups all he had to do was rub the pinky on his left hand and they would stop, of course it was sheer coincidence that the hiccups stopped when the aforementioned pinky was rubbed, he always gave it a go when he got hiccups while I'd snigger inwardly! Mwha ha ha [lol]
Is this another "blonde" joke...... [lol]
100% true I promise! But she was a brunette!
sassylass
05-Sep-07, 02:35
A friend of mine used to run a hotel, he went into the kitchen one morning and told one of the assistants that, after he peeled the tatties [in the tattie peeling machine] to do an errand for him. the assist put the spuds in the machine and thinking it would,nt take long to do the errand went off and left the peeler to do it,s job. when he came back the spuds had peeled away to nothing. so he ran up to his boss and said , ANDY, ANDY SOMEONE STOLE THE TATTIES.
[lol] that's hilarious!
Camel Spider
05-Sep-07, 02:35
Ive got my other half again !!
Just phoned her at Work and when she answered I just said "Youve got the Wrong Number", all I heard was "Ok then .. Bye" and the line went dead.
To be fair my neighbour told me to do it, as a Neurologist he says it is a prime example of Cognitive Failure when the brain responds automatically to a stimulus, in this case the "Wrong Number" propmt.
Not going to tell her that in the Morning though when she comes home .. ;)
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