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View Full Version : grrr!! count to ten then breath.



rhino
16-Aug-07, 19:08
Just back from tesco's, only popped up to drop off something for someone.Whilst there my boy bought himself a drink and heade out the door, at that moment in passing the security alarm went off. In a blur of blue a so-called manager ran out breaking a till in the passing , lunging himself at my boy asking "have you stolen? , show me your receipt".

He wasnt to pleased when i complained in front of him to his senior, and tried to worm his way out of it. He did make a personal appologie to my boy which he accepted.


But grrr!!, i really could have swung for him.....[evil][evil]

percy toboggan
16-Aug-07, 19:15
Swung for him?

A classic over-reaction from a 'wronged parent' who thinks everyone else in the world should revere their children. Get over it. The bloke was doing his job.

laguna2
16-Aug-07, 19:17
First time I was in Wick Tesco the alarm went off as I went out. Chap was very polite and apologetic.

However, I am an adult - could the age of the person affect the behaviour of the staff. It shouldn't!!

karia
16-Aug-07, 19:29
First time I was in Wick Tesco the alarm went off as I went out. Chap was very polite and apologetic.

However, I am an adult - could the age of the person affect the behaviour of the staff. It shouldn't!!

Hi laguna,

I totally agree!

why should this innocent lad have been subjected to such public embarrassment and humiliation.

If Percy were grabbed by security on the mere basis of proximity, and subject to such treatment,..I am sure we would hear all about it.

These alarms go off all of the time and anyone passing is subject to stares and supposition.

Don't young folk get mortified just like (if not more so than,) the rest of us?

karia

laguna2
16-Aug-07, 19:34
Hi Karia

Some people just don't like to think that there is any good in young people.

I am glad that rhino was there to complain - what would have happened it the lad had been on his own?

The lad was certaily due an apology - just hope that it was done in full view of the people who saw the original incident!

rhino
16-Aug-07, 19:34
He was not doing his job..
He acted in a way that was not becoming of his position.

My boys are responsible for their actions and i expect them to be treated that way.

About my parenting , you are entitled to your opinion, but i will not stand by and let them be bullied.

laguna2
16-Aug-07, 19:37
He was not doing his job..
He acted in a way that was not becoming of his position.

My boys are responsible for their actions and i expect them to be treated that way.

About my parenting , you are entitled to your opinion, but i will not stand by and let them be bullied.

Well said rhino.

rhino
16-Aug-07, 19:40
thanyou

everyone must be accountable for their actions

karia
16-Aug-07, 19:41
Hi Laguna,

Hear! Hear!

Percy seems to think that rhino wants her kids revered,..Why?

Because she wants them treated justly and fairly and not picked upon?:confused

The boy didn't DO anything, in fact by accepting the 'personal' (not public..unlike the humiliation!) apology, he proved himself to be more of a man than the manager.

Karia

Angela
16-Aug-07, 19:48
A classic over-reaction from a 'wronged parent' who thinks everyone else in the world should revere their children. Get over it. The bloke was doing his job.

It doesn't sound to me as if the "bloke" WAS doing his job....in fact, it sounds like a "classic over-reaction" on his part. [disgust]

Rhino, I'm pleased to hear that your son received an apology, at least.

rhino
16-Aug-07, 19:52
i am proud of my boys, yes they are by far no angels but who is?

A natural defence is to protect your siblings from harm, or is that wrong Percy??

perhaps i should have praised the manager and laughed with him at the feared look on my boys face.

Rheghead
16-Aug-07, 19:54
Just back from tesco's, only popped up to drop off something for someone.Whilst there my boy bought himself a drink and heade out the door, at that moment in passing the security alarm went off. In a blur of blue a so-called manager ran out breaking a till in the passing , lunging himself at my boy asking "have you stolen? , show me your receipt".

He wasnt to pleased when i complained in front of him to his senior, and tried to worm his way out of it. He did make a personal appologie to my boy which he accepted.


But grrr!!, i really could have swung for him.....[evil]

If I was the security man then I think it would reasonable for me to lunge/make haste his way to your child if he was leaving the store if an alarm went off. Secondly, I think he is entitled to ask your boy for proof of purchase for any item when leaving the store under these circumstances. I wouldn't have asked 'Have you stolen?', that was unfair and presumptive, I would ask him to get the security marked item that triggered off the alarm for inspection and ask for the receipt once found. Of course your boy might not have had a security tag on his person but he might have left at the exact same person as someone who did, still, that doesn't matter imo.

How would you have dealt with it if you were the security man?:confused

rhino
16-Aug-07, 20:04
Hi reghead,

It was not the security guard but a "manager". Yes i am in agreement that he should have been approached and asked for his receipt.

But as a manager, this person has gone through vast training on policies and procedures, but more importantly how to conduct yourself in the eyes of the public.


I know this as i am a manager myself and the actions taken tonight would be frowned on highly by my senior management.

Rheghead
16-Aug-07, 20:04
i am proud of my boys, yes they are by far no angels but who is?

A natural defence is to protect your siblings from harm, or is that wrong Percy??

This fascinates me. I have always thought parents should show the road to right and wrong and one of those lessons is to have respect for the law. Now I'm a parent, I recently asked my mother if she would have turned me into the police if I robbed a bank or committed murder, to my horror, she said it would have only depended on the nature of the murder, but a robbed bank wouldn't get a singing canary out of mum. [lol]

I've never stolen a thing or hit anyone in my life btw[lol]

rhino
16-Aug-07, 20:12
yes i agree with you.

he was in a fight at school once. him and his friend at the time ganged up on someone else.

After a visit to the boys parents with us to appologise, we then took him to the police station for a stern talking to.

We have always taught them right from wrong and that you must face your actions.

Therefore the manager was given the chance to explain himself and appologise for his actions.

rhino
16-Aug-07, 20:16
Swung for him?

A classic over-reaction from a 'wronged parent' who thinks everyone else in the world should revere their children. Get over it. The bloke was doing his job.


You know what percy, you are entitled to your own opinions and beliefs, but i take this as an insult to parents everywhere.

Dali
16-Aug-07, 20:32
yes i agree with you.

he was in a fight at school once. him and his friend at the time ganged up on someone else.

After a visit to the boys parents with us to appologise, we then took him to the police station for a stern talking to.

We have always taught them right from wrong and that you must face your actions.

Therefore the manager was given the chance to explain himself and appologise for his actions.

The manager was given the chance to apologise and you accepted . But still you come on here to slag him off . You should not off accepted if you were not happy to let it go .

NLP
16-Aug-07, 20:33
I don't think the manager was doing his job right, would he have acted that way with an adult I doubt it very much, a large dose of over reaction. it's a good thing Rhino was there I don't know the boy age but he must have been terrifed

karia
16-Aug-07, 20:50
The manager was given the chance to apologise and you accepted . But still you come on here to slag him off . You should not off accepted if you were not happy to let it go .

Hi Dali,

What should she have done,... held out for free groceries?:confused:roll:

I'm not surprised that she wanted her son out of there!

I would have wanted an apology over the tannoy to attract as much attention as the original debacle,.....Do you think that would ever have happened??

It was her son who accepted the apology, not her, she is therefore more than free to come on here and 'slag him off' should she so wish, without in any way contradicting her actions.

Karia

Dali
16-Aug-07, 21:00
Hi Dali,

What should she have done,... held out for free groceries?:confused:roll:

I'm not surprised that she wanted her son out of there!

I would have wanted an apology over the tannoy to attract as much attention as the original debacle,.....Do you think that would ever have happened??

It was her son who accepted the apology, not her, she is therefore more than free to come on here and 'slag him off' should she so wish, without in any way contradicting her actions.

Karia

Lets not be Silly now Karia. I did not mention anything about holding out for material items . I also did not say anything about Rhino wanting his or her son in or out of the store . Not really sure where you are coming from with this.
All i am saying is if you accept someones apology then that should be the end of it .

rhino
16-Aug-07, 21:01
Dali,

my son accepted the appology,not me!!

show me anywhere on here were i have accidently "slagged him off" and if so then can everyone please accept my appoligies. I have said nothing here that i would or will not say face to face.

I am purely on here discussing something that has affected me and it is good to get things of the chest .

karia
16-Aug-07, 21:11
Dali,

She did not accept the apology.

Her son did, as I expect many embarrassed youngsters would have to get out of the situation.

As she did not accept the apology she is perfectly within her rights to speak out about it here.

Karia

Dali
16-Aug-07, 21:12
He was not doing his job..
He acted in a way that was not becoming of his position.

My boys are responsible for their actions and i expect them to be treated that way.

About my parenting , you are entitled to your opinion, but i will not stand by and let them be bullied.

Well just here you say he bullied your child and also called him a so-called manager in your opening thread.
He did not bully your child at all he did his job granted he OVER reacted by the sounds of it and i do not condone his reaction at all . But if your son was big enough to accept his apology so should you be .

Angela
16-Aug-07, 21:13
It would be good if there was a positive outcome, wouldn't it? -i.e. improved staff training.

I was once stopped when the alarm went off as I left a well-known clothes shop. There was no reason for it happening, but I was the customer walking out of the door, and I felt rooted to the spot in embarrassment. :eek:

The security guard, who was standing near the door, treated me with courtesy, took me to one side, and asked me very politely if he could check what I had bought and if I had a receipt.

As all was well, he apologised for troubling me.

It was still a disturbing experience, but he handled it well -as he would have been trained to do.

A younger person shouldn't be treated in an accusing, discourteous manner just because of their age - what sort of message does that give? That young people are guilty until proved innocent? :confused

percy toboggan
16-Aug-07, 21:19
Storm in a flaming tea cup.
Much ado about nowt.

karia
16-Aug-07, 21:24
It would be good if there was a positive outcome, wouldn't it? -i.e. improved staff training.

I was once stopped when the alarm went off as I left a well-known clothes shop. There was no reason for it happening, but I was the customer walking out of the door, and I felt rooted to the spot in embarrassment. :eek:

The security guard, who was standing near the door, treated me with courtesy, took me to one side, and asked me very politely if he could check what I had bought and if I had a receipt.

As all was well, he apologised for troubling me.

It was still a disturbing experience, but he handled it well -as he would have been trained to do.

A younger person shouldn't be treated in an accusing, discourteous manner just because of their age - what sort of message does that give? That young people are guilty until proved innocent? :confused


Thanks Angela,

As ever, the voice of reason and looking to the solution as well as the problem.

I worry that if kids get the message that they are 'damned if they do, damned if they don't' then they may well think 'why bother trying!'

Then we really are in trouble...of our own making!

Karia

rhino
16-Aug-07, 21:45
dali,

you were not there, you didn't see the tears or the initial incident, so how can you say that he didnt bully my boy?

I have stated the facts and that he had not carried himself out in the way maybe a manager should.

thankyou to everyone who has offered support and understanding, and as much as i understand that there "are both sides to a fence" i will call ita night and draw an end to this post .

goodnight