Tubthumper
30-Jun-07, 23:18
There was a mannie Samson who
Was quite a hairy blighter
As strong as ox, bad-tempered too
A fairly bonny fighter
The thing about this Samson loon
Was as his hair got longer
As chin and heid got covered up
Well blow me! He got stronger
He made a living pushing things
He'd lift weights for the Pharisee
But as time passed the envy grew
An awful thing is jealousy
His rivals got a burd in tow
Delilah wasnae shy
And Samson fell in love with her
Delilah - Why why why?
Then Delilah forbade him smooch
'No fun for you tonight -
Unless you get that hair trimmed off
The beard as well, alright?'
Poor Samson he was smitten
He was gasping for a kiss
He shot off to the barbers as
Requested by his miss
'A number one across the heid
And quickly scrape my chin -
The burd wants me hirsute tonight
Hurry up, my luck is in!'
But on his way to make his tryst
The baddies jumped our Sam
He was as weak as kitten and
Couldnae fight worth a damn
They dragged him to the jail and said
'Yer no sae clever now!'
They poked his eyes out with a stick
Poor Samson cried out 'Oww!'
So anyway, the time went on
And Samson got misused
His hair grew back though he couldnae see
He knew he'd been abused
One day he went to kirk and got
A wee bit sore frustrated
Delilah turned up goading him
His language was X-rated
He took the hump and pushed and shoved
His hair and strength were back
The kirk's thick walls began to move
The pillars bent and cracked
And then the lot came crashing down
On Samson's curly heid
His only satisfaction was
Delilah was also deid
The moral of this story is
A boy should aye beware
Don't risk losing your strength just cos
Your burd complains of hair
Was quite a hairy blighter
As strong as ox, bad-tempered too
A fairly bonny fighter
The thing about this Samson loon
Was as his hair got longer
As chin and heid got covered up
Well blow me! He got stronger
He made a living pushing things
He'd lift weights for the Pharisee
But as time passed the envy grew
An awful thing is jealousy
His rivals got a burd in tow
Delilah wasnae shy
And Samson fell in love with her
Delilah - Why why why?
Then Delilah forbade him smooch
'No fun for you tonight -
Unless you get that hair trimmed off
The beard as well, alright?'
Poor Samson he was smitten
He was gasping for a kiss
He shot off to the barbers as
Requested by his miss
'A number one across the heid
And quickly scrape my chin -
The burd wants me hirsute tonight
Hurry up, my luck is in!'
But on his way to make his tryst
The baddies jumped our Sam
He was as weak as kitten and
Couldnae fight worth a damn
They dragged him to the jail and said
'Yer no sae clever now!'
They poked his eyes out with a stick
Poor Samson cried out 'Oww!'
So anyway, the time went on
And Samson got misused
His hair grew back though he couldnae see
He knew he'd been abused
One day he went to kirk and got
A wee bit sore frustrated
Delilah turned up goading him
His language was X-rated
He took the hump and pushed and shoved
His hair and strength were back
The kirk's thick walls began to move
The pillars bent and cracked
And then the lot came crashing down
On Samson's curly heid
His only satisfaction was
Delilah was also deid
The moral of this story is
A boy should aye beware
Don't risk losing your strength just cos
Your burd complains of hair