Tubthumper
17-Jun-07, 01:07
(A workplace discussion...)
Today the conversation needed Jocelyn’s input
Regarding vegetation eating, rice and nuts and fruit
Diet that sets pulses racing, full of bean and lentil
We decided that to eat poor beasts, you'd have to be quite mental
Bill had his doubts 'bout sausages, containing pig's toenail
And having burger conversation made him turn quite pale
At New Year he considered that he had a stroke of luck
At Mary's folks he dined on dish containing Donald Duck
Discussion swang around between consumption of a lamb
And cruelty to crabs and pigs, and just what counts as ham?
Cos bits of pig they get called pork, while other bits are bacon
What's left over is mashed and reformed, sandwich segments making
Big Henry's contribution was quite mild, about a rabbit
That he once caught and ate, a thing he has not made a habit
He got quite scared when conversation turned to changing food
It made a change from normal girly talk, usually rude
Each person added strange things they have eaten in the past
Lindsay once ate Piglet and left her friends aghast
The diet she was following was Disney-themed, it’s true
For pudding she had Eeyore then she went to have a Pooh
Some folks agreed that Joss has got the best idea in diet
And from next Monday, Linds and Bill are really going to try it
To live like Joss on lentils and on nuts they will get started
Between them we will all be choked when each one of them’s farted
Next week we will wear respirators, assuming they're not joking
The gas will no doubt fill the air; the boys will all be choking
A poisonous cloud will spread, the fate of all meat-eaters sealed
Because of the exhaust fumes of the gassy-arsed left-field
And lentil nut consumption folk will really go to town
The foulest air of all will no doubt come out of Bill Brown
And as we choke and smother reaching out to save our mates
The last thing we will see is long term veg Pollution Bates
:eek:
Today the conversation needed Jocelyn’s input
Regarding vegetation eating, rice and nuts and fruit
Diet that sets pulses racing, full of bean and lentil
We decided that to eat poor beasts, you'd have to be quite mental
Bill had his doubts 'bout sausages, containing pig's toenail
And having burger conversation made him turn quite pale
At New Year he considered that he had a stroke of luck
At Mary's folks he dined on dish containing Donald Duck
Discussion swang around between consumption of a lamb
And cruelty to crabs and pigs, and just what counts as ham?
Cos bits of pig they get called pork, while other bits are bacon
What's left over is mashed and reformed, sandwich segments making
Big Henry's contribution was quite mild, about a rabbit
That he once caught and ate, a thing he has not made a habit
He got quite scared when conversation turned to changing food
It made a change from normal girly talk, usually rude
Each person added strange things they have eaten in the past
Lindsay once ate Piglet and left her friends aghast
The diet she was following was Disney-themed, it’s true
For pudding she had Eeyore then she went to have a Pooh
Some folks agreed that Joss has got the best idea in diet
And from next Monday, Linds and Bill are really going to try it
To live like Joss on lentils and on nuts they will get started
Between them we will all be choked when each one of them’s farted
Next week we will wear respirators, assuming they're not joking
The gas will no doubt fill the air; the boys will all be choking
A poisonous cloud will spread, the fate of all meat-eaters sealed
Because of the exhaust fumes of the gassy-arsed left-field
And lentil nut consumption folk will really go to town
The foulest air of all will no doubt come out of Bill Brown
And as we choke and smother reaching out to save our mates
The last thing we will see is long term veg Pollution Bates
:eek: