drunk

[johno]

After leaving the pub for the evening, a drunk suddenly rushes back into the bar. He runs over and grabs the edge of the bar, and says, "Quick bartender, how tall is a penguin?"
Perplexed, the bartender responds, "I donno. About two feet, I guess."
"Thank god!" cries the drunk. "I thought I'd just run over a nun!" [lol]

[angela5]

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."

[angela5]

A man walked into a bar, sat down, ordered 3 shots of whiskey, drank them, then left....

This continued daily for several weeks. Curious, the bartender asked him one day, "Why do you always order three shots of whiskey?"

The man answered, "Because my two brothers and I always used to have one shot each, and since they've both passed on, I've continued to order the three shots in their honor."

The bartender thought that this was a very noble thing to do, and welcomed the man every time he visited the bar.

Two weeks later, the man walked into the bar for his daily visit and ordered two shots of whiskey. Surprised, the bartender asked him why he only ordered two when had had always been ordering three.

The man answered, "Oh, I've decided to stop drinking."

[horseman]

That's great,loved it to bits

[Lolabelle]

All of these were great. Thanks for the laugh.