Tubthumper
25-May-07, 13:53
The story so far...
Our heroes have made their way to a kirk in the borders, where demonic hordes have hijacked the National Mod. A fierce battle has reached a critical point...
The battle wore on, there were casualties mounting
The bad guys fought back with some plainsong chanting
Auld Nick gathered troops and directed his generals
To ensure some brisk Melvich choir party funerals
But our heroes were doughty, they fought tooth and nail
And Alison McLean, although wounded and pale
Sidled up to Old Hairy, in voice pure and clear
And gave Eailan a Fraoich right into his ear
Well the de’il went in scow, he was down on the spot
And the harpies and witches soon lost the song plot
Their time started slipping, got ragged and soon
Without their director the demons lost tune
Raymond Bremner, the general, steered the melee
Only one could control such a troop, it was he
Known as Fuss Conductor from then evermore
The choir rallied round, although bruised and sore
As he sensed victory, he gathered his forces
For a music encore, and just one final chorus
They gathered together and drew a deep breath
With a note sent the devilish hordes down to death
“Come on you ghoulies, just give it your worst!”
Shouted Frankie as the hordes were all chased and dispersed
Howling and shrieking, the banshees broke cover
The demons escaped, push and shoving each other
The audience woke, they were startled for sure
As they fought for their money back at the main door
The judges, for once, could all hear, smell and see
The choir licked their wounds and took quick cup of tea
Those judges conferred and for once they all agreed
The Melvich Gaelic Choir had managed to succeed
Where other bands had failed, or had never even tried
Our gang of Western heroes had left Satan cut and dried
The vote was just unanimous; the score could not be higher
They won the highest accolade for Vampire Busting Choir
Then the choir made withdrawal without a major fuss
A strategic manoeuvre back to Rapson’s old bus…
A-dragging their wounded and maimed in the rear
But Lo! Who in front of the choir should appear?
It was wicked Auld Nick, all bleeding and battered
His conducting stick and his horns were all shattered
He thumped Raymond Bremner, the choir were appalled
(Since then Burst Conductor’s the name he gets called)
The team soon got over this horrid surprise
Frankie Murdoch put punch right between Satan’s eyes
Just as they’d relaxed and thought they were in clover
Just like in the horror films, all started over
The angry demonic hordes crept from the ditches
The warlocks and banshees, the zombies and witches
With malice aforethought and jealousy burning
Our bold Melvich choir into marmalade turning
A positive swarm of the creatures of night
Well! Our pals were once again soon in full flight
Piling into old Maggie, their trophy in hand
Determined to find a way to their homeland
Away from that terrible wasteland the borders
With devils and demons and neds giving orders
With Hugh at the wheel Maggie roared into life
And off the crew swept, heading north, leaving strife
Auld Nick sent his squad in a taxi to chase
The idea was intercept Maggie, to race
And to catch our bold team ‘fore they got too far north
The demons would pursue for all they were worth
But as Werewolf drove off, a series of squeals
Pat Kieran, the Scouser, had stolen their wheels!
With bellows of rage, and our Patrick in stitches
Auld Nick despatched his airborne witches
Spirits flew to hot pursue
The Melvich Gaelic Singing Crew...
End of Part 2
To Be Continued…
Our heroes have made their way to a kirk in the borders, where demonic hordes have hijacked the National Mod. A fierce battle has reached a critical point...
The battle wore on, there were casualties mounting
The bad guys fought back with some plainsong chanting
Auld Nick gathered troops and directed his generals
To ensure some brisk Melvich choir party funerals
But our heroes were doughty, they fought tooth and nail
And Alison McLean, although wounded and pale
Sidled up to Old Hairy, in voice pure and clear
And gave Eailan a Fraoich right into his ear
Well the de’il went in scow, he was down on the spot
And the harpies and witches soon lost the song plot
Their time started slipping, got ragged and soon
Without their director the demons lost tune
Raymond Bremner, the general, steered the melee
Only one could control such a troop, it was he
Known as Fuss Conductor from then evermore
The choir rallied round, although bruised and sore
As he sensed victory, he gathered his forces
For a music encore, and just one final chorus
They gathered together and drew a deep breath
With a note sent the devilish hordes down to death
“Come on you ghoulies, just give it your worst!”
Shouted Frankie as the hordes were all chased and dispersed
Howling and shrieking, the banshees broke cover
The demons escaped, push and shoving each other
The audience woke, they were startled for sure
As they fought for their money back at the main door
The judges, for once, could all hear, smell and see
The choir licked their wounds and took quick cup of tea
Those judges conferred and for once they all agreed
The Melvich Gaelic Choir had managed to succeed
Where other bands had failed, or had never even tried
Our gang of Western heroes had left Satan cut and dried
The vote was just unanimous; the score could not be higher
They won the highest accolade for Vampire Busting Choir
Then the choir made withdrawal without a major fuss
A strategic manoeuvre back to Rapson’s old bus…
A-dragging their wounded and maimed in the rear
But Lo! Who in front of the choir should appear?
It was wicked Auld Nick, all bleeding and battered
His conducting stick and his horns were all shattered
He thumped Raymond Bremner, the choir were appalled
(Since then Burst Conductor’s the name he gets called)
The team soon got over this horrid surprise
Frankie Murdoch put punch right between Satan’s eyes
Just as they’d relaxed and thought they were in clover
Just like in the horror films, all started over
The angry demonic hordes crept from the ditches
The warlocks and banshees, the zombies and witches
With malice aforethought and jealousy burning
Our bold Melvich choir into marmalade turning
A positive swarm of the creatures of night
Well! Our pals were once again soon in full flight
Piling into old Maggie, their trophy in hand
Determined to find a way to their homeland
Away from that terrible wasteland the borders
With devils and demons and neds giving orders
With Hugh at the wheel Maggie roared into life
And off the crew swept, heading north, leaving strife
Auld Nick sent his squad in a taxi to chase
The idea was intercept Maggie, to race
And to catch our bold team ‘fore they got too far north
The demons would pursue for all they were worth
But as Werewolf drove off, a series of squeals
Pat Kieran, the Scouser, had stolen their wheels!
With bellows of rage, and our Patrick in stitches
Auld Nick despatched his airborne witches
Spirits flew to hot pursue
The Melvich Gaelic Singing Crew...
End of Part 2
To Be Continued…