Tubthumper
19-May-07, 20:15
A Celebration Of The Bard Of Scottish Nation
It’s my pleasant inclination
To give humorous narration
Re the females situation
As part of obligation
To the bard of Scottish Nation
For your further delectation
As a form of explanation
The shape of presentation
Has been born of desperation
With a bit of irritation
And some intense concentration
Whilst awaiting inspiration
So the main manifestation
Will amuse your contemplation
And give super satisfaction
With no harassment infraction
And no active prosecution
But meet every expectation
In this case it’s not narration
Of some Robert Burns quotation
There need be no consternation
As our ultimate destination
Is a substantial libation
Of a Celtic distillation
Now Robert Burns intention
Was some covert observation
Of some skirt/leg titillation
Or of hip/thigh revelation
And some manly rumination
Plus some quiet contemplation
Though with a predilection
For intense inebriation
With a whisky-like concoction
His poetic creation
Gained some serious publication
And resulted in attraction
The ladies of the Nation
Who received young Burns’ attention
Found some intense stimulation
And unplanned fertilisation
Leading to much procreation
With the bard’s participation
Now the Kirk of Scottish nation
When it heard his aberration
Of carnal multiplication
Considered it abomination
And placed him in the station
To endure humiliation
What a dreadful situation
A public exposition
Cos of love struck agitation
And a steady accumulation
Of unwed bedtime action
And horizontal agitation
I’m recommending congregation
To the female situation
And to further reproduction
For the future of our nation
In the fine anticipation
Of our work-related pension
So here is my summation
All the girls need adoration
And romantic inspiration
Burns memory needs retention
But remember – celebration
Of the feminine condition!
It’s my pleasant inclination
To give humorous narration
Re the females situation
As part of obligation
To the bard of Scottish Nation
For your further delectation
As a form of explanation
The shape of presentation
Has been born of desperation
With a bit of irritation
And some intense concentration
Whilst awaiting inspiration
So the main manifestation
Will amuse your contemplation
And give super satisfaction
With no harassment infraction
And no active prosecution
But meet every expectation
In this case it’s not narration
Of some Robert Burns quotation
There need be no consternation
As our ultimate destination
Is a substantial libation
Of a Celtic distillation
Now Robert Burns intention
Was some covert observation
Of some skirt/leg titillation
Or of hip/thigh revelation
And some manly rumination
Plus some quiet contemplation
Though with a predilection
For intense inebriation
With a whisky-like concoction
His poetic creation
Gained some serious publication
And resulted in attraction
The ladies of the Nation
Who received young Burns’ attention
Found some intense stimulation
And unplanned fertilisation
Leading to much procreation
With the bard’s participation
Now the Kirk of Scottish nation
When it heard his aberration
Of carnal multiplication
Considered it abomination
And placed him in the station
To endure humiliation
What a dreadful situation
A public exposition
Cos of love struck agitation
And a steady accumulation
Of unwed bedtime action
And horizontal agitation
I’m recommending congregation
To the female situation
And to further reproduction
For the future of our nation
In the fine anticipation
Of our work-related pension
So here is my summation
All the girls need adoration
And romantic inspiration
Burns memory needs retention
But remember – celebration
Of the feminine condition!