Breast Cancer

[karia]

Today my lovely, feisty, very funny, mum got diagnosed
with breast cancer.

She had a lung removed due to t.b, when she was very young, fought and fought to have me. (medical history, in its time.. i am :).)
and has continued to astound ever since.
Her, not me!

I have the abject honour of being the product of the most beautiful 60 +
year relationship ,( my husband & i are working on it!) between her & my dad!

She is already very unwell, and elderly.. and I don,t want her messed with ,
She is unable to exist without a positive oxygen supply, by mask.

today despite being told she was B Pap dependant she was left without
proper nursing staff, and was on the verge of being admitted, after waiting an hour & 1/4 for the ( booked in advance..& indeed cancelled when it came without the proper equipment,) ambulance to transport her to her
home, ...3 mins from the hospital, after a very long stint !

..the breast clinic folk assigned us oxygen nurses, everyone was great but the ambulance service would not bend or cater to thefact that
she required , pressured oxygen, all through the event..!

Next week, I'm going to her appointment..by proxy!

Then I get to tell her, what can & cannot be done. .. she's old and ill..and the most outspoken, strong minded, funniest person ive ever known.

I love her, we all love her.

At best, I get to tell her..what?

They ruled out surgery, chemo, and radiotherapy, maybe tamoxifen if you've got the 'right' sort of cancer?

As I left tonight, she was in her 'miss naughty' socks.. she looked at me & said, 'i'm frightened!

I didn't say it, but 'me too':~(


thanks, Karia

[Valerie Campbell]

Just be there for her the way you have been. Just before my Mum died, she said she was content, not that she wanted to die, but that it was inevitable and there was nothing that could be done. She accepted it and was very brave towards the end. My heart goes out to you.

[karia]

Thanks for the post.

i'm a wee bit raw..and it's hard to be off duty when you've spent the
day..trying to make things 'right'.

Never been so tired, ..bet you know the feeling!:)

[trinkie]

Hallo Karia,

Your mother must be so thankful of your support at this time - looks to me like you are being a very caring daughter.
As Valerie said - just be there for her and hold her.
I hope that you too are given the strength to cope with all you have to face in the next few days and weeks.
I'm sure you will gain strength from her strength.

Trinkie

[karia]

we don't 'do' cuddling & 'kissing'... we're very.. 'stoic'!

that's the way we are..., as a family..joke a minute:)!

she loves my husband to pieces, knock all the mother in law jokes out the water, that pair!

I'm an only child..and I'm starting to know what that means.
(mm..can't find a smilie for that!)

Thank you all, very much, for your responses,

I'll bounce back, all the quicker for your support!

Karia

[lynne duncan]

allow us to support you mentally us much as we possibly can, and take heart that you will be in our thoughts.

[wild1]

Karia I've just read your post and my heart is going out to you it must be very hard for you, try and keep your chin up and be strong you are doing a wonderful thing careing for your mum, remember and look after yourself too. x

[Big Jean]

karia, my heart goes out to you . My Mother-in-law died not of breast cancer but cancer of a different type, and she also was a very easy going, good natured, happy, and wise lady . She was frightened too, and not wanting to question the medical staff or "bother" them, as she put it, I became her voice, with many many questions . At times I had to fight for the correct answers and at times the truthful answers . I am afraid quite often the age of the person is looked at before anything else and that just isn't right or good enough . It is your turn now to be your Mother's voice, and just to be there for her . I wish you both all the best . J.

[Fran]

Karia, i have sent you a pm:(

[mrs n]

big hugs to you sweetheart, maybe you could ask mum if she would like a hug too even if you dont do hugs, as others have said, be her ears and eyes and find everything out for her, i found the mcmillan nurses were very good

[alfie]

I know what you are going through, I just lost my lovely Mum, two weeks ago to cancer and its the hardest thing I have ever been through! She had breast cancer more than 10 years before and she was so brave getting over that, then it went into bone cancer and she struggled for over 3 years with such courage and humour.... Take care of yourself

[Victoria]

big hugs to you sweetheart, maybe you could ask mum if she would like a hug too even if you dont do hugs, as others have said, be her ears and eyes and find everything out for her, i found the mcmillan nurses were very good

The McMillan nurses were a great help to us when my step-mum got cancer.

My thoughts are with you and your mum karia and you know you have many shoulders on the org if you need them. x

[karia]

Thank you all for your support and kind thoughts, especially to those who pm'd me.

I am deeply touched by your warmth!

[paris]

As i sit here just wondering what to say to you, I'm remembering all my friends whom I've lost to the dreaded cancer. At this moment in time we have 3 friends who are battling with this disease, one who has just weeks, one who has just days ( he got married last week ) and one who is beating it , AT THE MOMENT !
My heart goes out to you and yes we on the org are all here for you, were all friends and friends can mean a lot in times like these. Take care of mum and don't forget about yourself. jan x

[oldmarine]

Karia that's a tough one. My departed wife died from ovarian cancer and it was not pretty to see. We had two young children, 9 & 10 yrs., who were devistated by their loss. I had to accept the inevitable of the loss; however, I received more than I thought I deserved. My children's favorite teacher came on to the scene to help them with the loss of their mother. We were eventually married. I have gone on record by believing that God took a saintly woman home and giving me another in her place. I stand on the position that I have been twice blessed.

I pray that your mother be healed. But more than that I pray that you are in touch with Him who can make a difference in your life.

[vodka-queen]

You are Both in our prayers and the family xxx