The Impossible Ballade of Whisky & Soda by H S MacKintosh

[trinkie]

The Impossible Ballade of Whisky & Soda
by H S MacKintosh

Sublime beverage, supreme tipple,
The slick nectar (but Haig's slicker!)
Which gods drew from a divine nipple
And thick nights became a lot thicker.
I'm Pict-Scot, which means a good picker,
I thus drank (and through my veins flowed a
Benign magic, yes, the true ichor)
A large whisky and a small soda.

A full double, or perhaps triple
Descends slowly - feel the sparks flicker
('T would cure wholly a complete cripple!)
And warm cockles of the tired "ticker".
The world's sick and will be sicker
Of Krupp, Vickers and the Czech, Skoda
So serve quickly, lest the thugs bicker,
A large whisky and a small soda.

In dark Russia by the Don's ripple
They like Vodka - the effect's quicker,
But bring Walker and a wee sip'll
Convert Malenkov, his side-kicker;
From Kamtchatka to the wide Oder,
O let's wish them, with a slight snicker,
A large whisky and a small soda.

Envoi
Beware, Lady, of the dear Vicar
He's just waiting for this rhyme's coda,
He likes ladies and he loves liquor -
A large whisky and a small soda !