View Full Version : Bullying in schools....
I am sure that this has propbably been brought up before but i would like to address it again.....
As a parent i have found that the issue of bullying at schools is a very big one.....One of my children have been seriously assaulted by gangs of kids in a school.Her life has been hell for the last two yrs because of some individuals that feel it is ok to pick on the weaker kids...I reported it to the police, but as some may guess it did not go to far......
There are days when i have to make her go to school and i find it hard to deal with approach of the teachers, when they tell me they cant protect children at all times...I know it is an issue that has been around far to long, but it does not seem to be getting any better...What is the next approach at bullying as the zero tolerence seems to have fallen on deaf ears......
Bullies get kicked out of school for a while and then let back in to continue in the targeting of younger kids,should they be allowed to do this or should stronger measures be brought in to protect the innocent.
I do not want to end up with a teenager who is too scared to go any where and starts to loose the confidence that i have always instilled into my children.....:(
I can't suggest any solutions but the excuse by schools that they "cant protect children at all times" was certainly being used 50 years ago and probably a lot longer than that.
The excuse translates as "Don't bother us about it because it's too much trouble for us to do anything about it. If we don't bother doing anything we can pretend it's not a problem. It's far easier to ignore it and sweep it under the carpet."
There has been a thread on bullying, somewhere.... :confused I know, because I posted in it :eek:
It's horrible when you have to watch your child suffering like this.
Is there any way you could approach the parents of the ringleader to try to sort this out? They might not be aware of what's going on.
I only suggest this because when my older daughter was bullied (not physically, but mentally) I didn't get any help from the school, and felt the only thing I could do was to bring the matter up with the leading bully's parents.
In our case it worked, fortunately.
If you look back, Justine, you should be able to find the thread and there may be some good suggestions there to stop the bullying.
Good luck!
There has been a thread on bullying, somewhere.... :confused I know, because I posted in it :eek:
It's horrible when you have to watch your child suffering like this.
Is there any way you could approach the parents of the ringleader to try to sort this out? They might not be aware of what's going on.
I only suggest this because when my older daughter was bullied (not physically, but mentally) I didn't get any help from the school, and felt the only thing I could do was to bring the matter up with the leading bully's parents.
In our case it worked, fortunately.
If you look back, Justine, you should be able to find the thread and there may be some good suggestions there to stop the bullying.
Good luck!
If i thought it was a s simple as that i would approach the parents, but i think that they have the same kind of attitude as their children......I dont think it would achieve anything at all..
What bullies and teachers dont realise is it does not stop at school and the effects of it comes into te house and causes many problems for the family....
I dont agree with hitting children but sometimes a good clout would not go amiss....I will cetainly go and find the thread and see if any thing helps...
The most frightening thought is one day my child might get so depressed and as others have done before decide it is not worth living..I live the nightmare with her all the time and wish i could do more to help her..
I do not want to end up with a teenager who is too scared to go any where and starts to loose the confidence that i have always instilled into my children.....:([/quote]
Justine, you have just made a very accurate prediction, because if you can't nip this in the bud NOW this is exactly what will happen. Two years is a long time for it to be going on. You have my sympathy but also I urge you to turn this around for her. I've witnessed too many young people who ended up like this and its soul destroying.
I agree with you about the schools and there is no point with police unless it becomes a criminal act.
The best you can do for her not to focus on the problem but to motivate, encourage and support her to get her confidence back and become resilient to deal with it all and for later life so she doen't let this stop her following her dreams. Good luck.:)
Many authorities have limited powers to act including schools.
If the bullying is bad enough consider reporting it to the police, especially if it is physical.
It is even worse if it is verbal bullying, because it can be a lot harder to prove and deal with.
If i thought it was a s simple as that i would approach the parents, but i think that they have the same kind of attitude as their children......I dont think it would achieve anything at all..
I thought that might be the case, it worked for us, but I can see that it wouldn't always.:(
It's easy for me to say I know, but I think that if your daughter can talk to you about it and knows that you support her, that will at least help a bit.
If there was nobody she could talk to about it, that would be much worse.
I do not want to end up with a teenager who is too scared to go any where and starts to loose the confidence that i have always instilled into my children.....:(
Justine, you have just made a very accurate prediction, because if you can't nip this in the bud NOW this is exactly what will happen. Two years is a long time for it to be going on. You have my sympathy but also I urge you to turn this around for her. I've witnessed too many young people who ended up like this and its soul destroying.
I agree with you about the schools and there is no point with police unless it becomes a criminal act.
The best you can do for her not to focus on the problem but to motivate, encourage and support her to get her confidence back and become resilient to deal with it all and for later life so she doen't let this stop her following her dreams. Good luck.:)[/quote]
i can tell my child till i am blue in the face, but sometimes fear over takes what i am trying to tell her...I give all i can to help her...The girls in question have never come to my door to have a go since i told them that i wont take there crap, but i cannot sit with my daughter in school...I have tried everywhere to get help and get someone to listen, but it all falls on the bullies themselves who get away with this.
how can they live with themselves knowing that they are making someones life a living hell and not caring not feeling anything, i dont know how itis possible for a child to see such hatred for another..Hate is a strong word but then i think they do it for the kicks...God help them when they have kids of their own, especially how they would deal with it if their child was to be bullied.....
danc1ngwitch
25-Mar-07, 19:55
justene i hate to think of how u feel puttin her ta school. U must b terrified incase the worst of the worst happens.
I am sorry, sometimes bulling in school makes u a stronger person inside but i suppose it depends on the individual. x
justene i hate to think of how u feel puttin her ta school. U must b terrified incase the worst of the worst happens.
I am sorry, sometimes bulling in school makes u a stronger person inside but i suppose it depends on the individual. x
I feel crap every morning wondering what will happen but my fears are the least of things.....how my child feals is the real distressing issuue...I just wish i could get hold of the kids in question and sort them out, but i cant do that ...
my child went from being really chuffed to going to school to not caring if she goes or not...BUt i have to insist that she does go and tell her to face them, have a go back, but she wont...She even helps the same ones when they are getting it....She feels itis better to be with them against them even it it hurts her in the end...I wish i could protect her and i hope that she will be able to enjoy her schooling like she should be able to.....lets just hope that it settles soon....I am running out of options...
connieb19
25-Mar-07, 20:02
Here's an article from todays NOTW about the Government and bullying in schools, there's also a petition for signing.
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/story_pages/news/news4.shtml
thanks for that link..they now have another signature and i hope that many poeple sign this aswell...They need to come up with a system that not only solves the problem but also disciplines those that are responsible for it...
danc1ngwitch
25-Mar-07, 20:10
i can tell u how she feels. She will have a switch inside her that will click on as soon as she hits the school. This switch will see her thro the day, as she gets near her bullies she will turn it and she becomes stronger inside as she does so.
She will be so glad just to hear that one or more of them are sick, so she can have peace.
In class she will sweat because she does not want them to say anything infront of others. This goes on an on.
Untill one day she will lash out and when she does bullies look out.
I just hope that there is teachers around to save the bullies because it will make no difference if there are 3 of them her deep rooted anger will be so strong she will want em all anyway.
Then the ordinary kids look at these so called hard bullies wea different eyes, they secretly think and say wow they ain't so hard after all.[lol] All 3 of em were babies, but big babies:eek:
i can tell u how she feels. She will have a switch inside her that will click on as soon as she hits the school. This switch will see her thro the day, as she gets near her bullies she will turn it and she becomes stronger inside as she does so.
She will be so glad just to hear that one or more of them are sick, so she can have peace.
In class she will sweat because she does not want them to say anything infront of others. This goes on an on.
Untill one day she will lash out and when she does bullies look out.
I just hope that there is teachers around to save the bullies because it will make no difference if there are 3 of them her deep rooted anger will be so strong she will want em all anyway.
Then the ordinary kids look at these so called hard bullies wea different eyes, they secretly think and say wow they ain't so hard after all.[lol] All 3 of em were babies, but big babies:eek:
If it was as simple as that it may have worked, but she is not the type..she ant handle the situation that she has suddenly been thrown into.....Unfortunately these bullies have large family groups and they are set out to make it a personal thing.....It is not a clear cut case of bullyingthere aremany factors i wont discuss, but it is not an easy situation when i tll her to lash out and the teachers and police tell her that it is wrong, she does not trust many adults as she sees them as people who have let her down, what is to be done about that....i cant change the way she feels no matter what i say....i would take it all away in one go if i had the powers...
I think that the teachers should have training on how to deal with bulling as it is getting worse within the schools and its not just the kids who are being bullied, there have been more and more case's reported of teachers being bullied by the kids.
The kids that are being bullied are in a very difficult situation most fear telling teachers or parents or any adult for that matter for fear of repicussions and no child should have to deal with this sort of thing.
The teachers dont exactly have it easy either as they have to be very carefull how they deal with things for fear of ending up with all sorts of accusations being branded about them.
Before anything can be done the government have to put more money into training teachers how to deal with it all.
It must be heartbreaking for any parent to have to watch their child suffer in this way.
justene i hate to think of how u feel puttin her ta school. U must b terrified incase the worst of the worst happens.
I am sorry, sometimes bulling in school makes u a stronger person inside but i suppose it depends on the individual. x
it also depends on the type of bulling and the amount of bullys there are, even a strong peron can get ground down by it all:(
I'd like to see a shift in the way we teach kids, different learning styles taken into account and smaller groups situations. It's idealistic but it's needed.
Bullies are usually not assertive and have a lot of fear themsleves.
Teachers have no power these days.
I'd like to see a shift in the way we teach kids, different learning styles taken into account and smaller groups situations. It's idealistic but it's needed.
Bullies are usually not assertive and have a lot of fear themsleves.
Teachers have no power these days.
how true, you will usually find that when the tables are turned and bullies are faced one to one they are nothing more than cowards.
Teachers have no real form of dicipline these days kids may well get excluded but that doesnt teach them anything other than if you misbehave etc you will get time off, what good does that do.
i can tell my child till i am blue in the face, but sometimes fear over takes what i am trying to tell her
..FEAR being the operative word
how can they live with themselves knowing that they are making someones life a living hell and not caring not feeling anything, i dont know how itis possible for a child to see such hatred for another..
do they know they are doing this? the effects I mean. Do they really take stock of whjat they have done and think?
i can tell my child till i am blue in the face, but sometimes fear over takes what i am trying to tell her
..FEAR being the operative word
how can they live with themselves knowing that they are making someones life a living hell and not caring not feeling anything, i dont know how itis possible for a child to see such hatred for another..
do they know they are doing this? the effects I mean. Do they really take stock of whjat they have done and think?
I think a lot of the time it is just to impress their friends and that they dont for one minute stop and think of the consequences, or how they are making their victim feel.
It is something that i can only imagine must be terrifying for the bullied child and hard on the parents to, every parent wants to protect their own.
Its hard to understand how or why some kids can take bullying as far as they do, but it is something that should be dealt with as a priority by the governmet as all to often it can get out of hand.
but it is something that should be dealt with as a priority by the governmet as all to often it can get out of hand.[/quote]
It needs to be dealt with by society, the community, the individual. That's where these things grow. The goverment probably has some 'initiative' for it and it's so successful we haven't even heard about it.
Justine, may I recommend that you put your complaints in writing to everyone concerned with the school; head teacher, class teacher, school board etc.
Also write to the police and to the parents of those you know are involved and let them know you won't let it rest.
Just do the one letter covering everything (to save your stress levels) and state in each letter who else the letters are going to.
Talking doesn't always work; writing provides a record and usually a better response.
Don't give up; if you don't get a written reply within a reasonable time, write again. Keep copies and keep going higher until you get a result. They can't all ignore you.
Good luck.
Justine, may I recommend that you put your complaints in writing to everyone concerned with the school; head teacher, class teacher, school board etc.
Also write to the police and to the parents of those you know are involved and let them know you won't let it rest.
Just do the one letter covering everything (to save your stress levels) and state in each letter who else the letters are going to.
Talking doesn't always work; writing provides a record and usually a better response.
Don't give up; if you don't get a written reply within a reasonable time, write again. Keep copies and keep going higher until you get a result. They can't all ignore you.
Good luck.
I have tried most of that .I am at the stage of getting incontact with the educational manager as someone kindly helped me in that direction,,,,,
My daughter has been assaulted twice, the first time was a gang of 16 and the second by three cowards who jumped on her in the toilet cubicle..I will not name the individuals as the police are involved and this time i will make sure all involved will be punished, but i know i will face the wrath of the families....Buti aint a child that needs protecting and i will help her in any way i can......Thanks for all your help and advise, and i mean everyone who has posted suggestions.....Lets hope for my 12yrd old child she can get peace at school....
oldmarine
27-Mar-07, 01:26
I can't suggest any solutions but the excuse by schools that they "cant protect children at all times" was certainly being used 50 years ago and probably a lot longer than that.
The excuse translates as "Don't bother us about it because it's too much trouble for us to do anything about it. If we don't bother doing anything we can pretend it's not a problem. It's far easier to ignore it and sweep it under the carpet."
This has been an age-old problem. I am near 82 years old and it went on when I was a youngster in school. It was happening when my parents were in school. It would be interesting to see how it can be stopped.
This has been an age-old problem. I am near 82 years old and it went on when I was a youngster in school. It was happening when my parents were in school. It would be interesting to see how it can be stopped.
it would help if the bullies were not given any options like time off school.They should be made to spend a week with the child that they bully and get to know them...Then i think they should be named and shamed in school so they know everyone knows what they did so they are aware of exactly why it happened because i know my child was an innocent...If she had caused it i would hold back a wee bit, but the girls in question just like her and they are making her life hell....
But then people say you cant do that, but they have to think of the child that is being assaulted....
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