peedie man
10-Mar-07, 21:07
Paddy McGuire's Night Out
Paddy staggered home very late after an evening with his drinking buddy,
Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Bridget. He tiptoed as
quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but
misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body
swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. The bottle of "Jameson" in
each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to
yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to
see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a
full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each
place he saw blood.He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and stumbled his
way to bed.
In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and
butt.Bridget sat staring at him from across the room. She said, "Paddy McGuire, ye
were drunk again last night, weren't ye?" Paddy said, "Why are ye accusin' me of
such a thing?" "Ah, well," Bridget said, "It could be the open front door; it
could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs; It could be the drops
of blood trailing through the house; it could be yer bloodshot eyes; But
mostly, I'm thinkin', it's all those Band-Aids stuck to the hall mirror."
Paddy staggered home very late after an evening with his drinking buddy,
Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Bridget. He tiptoed as
quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but
misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body
swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. The bottle of "Jameson" in
each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to
yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to
see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a
full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each
place he saw blood.He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and stumbled his
way to bed.
In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and
butt.Bridget sat staring at him from across the room. She said, "Paddy McGuire, ye
were drunk again last night, weren't ye?" Paddy said, "Why are ye accusin' me of
such a thing?" "Ah, well," Bridget said, "It could be the open front door; it
could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs; It could be the drops
of blood trailing through the house; it could be yer bloodshot eyes; But
mostly, I'm thinkin', it's all those Band-Aids stuck to the hall mirror."