coppertop 1958
07-Mar-07, 17:36
The rules for women...
The Female always makes The Rules.
The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
The Female is *never* wrong.
(If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)
(If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)
The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The Male must remain calm at all times - unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.
The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.
Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.
If the Female has PMS *all* The Rules are null and void!
The rules for men...
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Men are NOT mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides - let it be.
'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem - go see a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact - all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat - you probably are. Don't ask us.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched - we do that.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry - we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it - just do it yourself.
If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing'. We will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying - but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to - expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have too many shoes.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, BEER or FOOTBALL.
You have enough clothes.
I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
The Female always makes The Rules.
The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
The Female is *never* wrong.
(If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)
(If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)
The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The Male must remain calm at all times - unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.
The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.
Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.
If the Female has PMS *all* The Rules are null and void!
The rules for men...
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Men are NOT mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides - let it be.
'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem - go see a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact - all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat - you probably are. Don't ask us.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched - we do that.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry - we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it - just do it yourself.
If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing'. We will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying - but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to - expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have too many shoes.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, BEER or FOOTBALL.
You have enough clothes.
I am in shape. Round IS a shape!