View Full Version : single parents
Why does everyone assume that because someone is a single parent that they are lazy good for nothing folk who are more than happy to bring their kids up on state benefits, This may well be the case of some but it is totally unfair to tar all single parents with the same brush.
There are plenty of two parent families out there who are happy to live on state benefits aswell, but that doesnt mean all families on welfare are the same either
My mate is a single parent who works all hours god sends to give her kid a decent upbringing with a sense of value's yet people constantly assume because she is a single parent that she is on benefits.
So if you are one of these people just stop and think before opening your big mouth and remember you dont always know the persons situation so dont just assume and criticize, its offensive and demeaning to those who do work[disgust]
changilass
28-Feb-07, 21:09
Wow a minute, where did this come from???
Wow a minute, where did this come from???
it came from putting up with people slagging of single parents classing them all as lazy bone idle good for nothing waste's of space's.
People should stop and think before they speak, instead of classing everyone as being the same.
It just really makes me mad:~(
an no i am not a single parent, i'm just sick of all the crap and small minded attitudes that my mate has to put up with[disgust]
Why does everyone assume that because someone is a single parent that they are lazy good for nothing folk who are more than happy to bring their kids up on state benefits...
My mate is a single parent who works all hours god sends to give her kid a decent upbringing with a sense of value's yet people constantly assume because she is a single parent that she is on benefits.
I wouldn't assume that about anyone....:eek:
and I do agree that it's upsetting and infuriating when anyone makes assumptions about anyone else without knowing the person and their circumstances....
The only answer I think is to try to stay calm and put them right, politely (hard I know) :confused and maybe embarrass them into thinking before they speak?
I don't think that everyone thinks that about single parents but i know that some people do. What they have to realise is how hard it is to be a working parent because even with the help of tax credits you can struggle to find decent child care at an affordable price unless you happen to have a job with a decent wage. Not only that but as was said above you've got to live with the guilt of being away from your child and leaving them with someone else. It definately isn't easy.
I do have to admire single parents.
Trust me, I want to pull my hair out at the best of times but going and having to do that on your own, on benefits or not, it is a hard job!!
changilass
28-Feb-07, 21:41
it came from putting up with people slagging of single parents classing them all as lazy bone idle good for nothing waste's of space's.
People should stop and think before they speak, instead of classing everyone as being the same.
It just really makes me mad:~(
an no i am not a single parent, i'm just sick of all the crap and small minded attitudes that my mate has to put up with[disgust]
I don't think folk think that the majority of single parents are lazy, of course there will be some that are same as there will be lazy folks in all walks of life.
I an ideal world we would like all kids to be brought up by 2 parents with at least one of them working, but we dont live in an ideal world, if we did I would be living in a mansion, hubby would be a millionare and we would have 13 kids lol
I don't think that everyone thinks that about single parents but i know that some people do. What they have to realise is how hard it is to be a working parent because even with the help of tax credits you can struggle to find decent child care at an affordable price unless you happen to have a job with a decent wage. Not only that but as was said above you've got to live with the guilt of being away from your child and leaving them with someone else. It definately isn't easy.
its not only single parents who have to live with the guilt of going to work and leaving their kids, but if you want to get anywhere in this life you have to work
Cinders392
28-Feb-07, 21:50
It is very hard being a parent!! Single or not. Changed are the days women stayed at home. I went back to work full time after my son was 6 months and I almost hit depression. With the guilt of leaving them at a young and vulnerable time but not working leaves you with the guilt of not contributing to the house hold income. Being both working parents we get no help with child care, no grants when expectin etc, just the child benefit.
It does make you sick to work your fingers to the bone, running a home, working, and spending time with the bairns to walk down the street with all our bills paid by us, bairn dressed in 2nd hand everything and see parents who are on benefit with brand new prams for every bairn they have, brand new designer clothes and their rent paid for them. There are people like this not saying that everyone on benefits like this.
So now Im technically a single parent until my parent gets home from working abroad and I work part time so am much happier that I get to spend time with my son.
We are living in a time of great changes.
connieb19
28-Feb-07, 22:00
It is very hard being a parent!! Single or not. Changed are the days women stayed at home. I went back to work full time after my son was 6 months and I almost hit depression. With the guilt of leaving them at a young and vulnerable time but not working leaves you with the guilt of not contributing to the house hold income. Being both working parents we get no help with child care, no grants when expectin etc, just the child benefit.
It does make you sick to work your fingers to the bone, running a home, working, and spending time with the bairns to walk down the street with all our bills paid by us, bairn dressed in 2nd hand everything and see parents who are on benefit with brand new prams for every bairn they have, brand new designer clothes and their rent paid for them. There are people like this not saying that everyone on benefits like this.
So now Im technically a single parent until my parent gets home from working abroad and I work part time so am much happier that I get to spend time with my son.
We are living in a time of great changes.It's true what you say Cinders about the people on benefits, they're kitted out with the best of everything while the working people have to make do with second hand and struggle to pay rent and council tax. Benefits should be for the essentials like food and heat, not all the luxuries of cars, sky tv and computers. I dont know how anyone on benefits can afford to buy a car never mind the running costs?
What really annoys me though is that I pay my taxes every week yet when I'm ill I cannot afford to take a day off because I'm not entitled to sick pay, whilst some people swan about all day in their fancy cars with no intentions of getting a job. [disgust]
It's true what you say Cinders about the people on benefits, they're kitted out with the best of everything while the working people have to make do with second hand and struggle to pay rent and council tax. Benefits should be for the essentials like food and heat, not all the luxuries of cars, sky tv and computers. I dont know how anyone on benefits can afford to buy a car never mind the running costs?
What really annoys me though is that I pay my taxes every week yet when I'm ill I cannot afford to take a day off because I'm not entitled to sick pay, whilst some people swan about all day in their fancy cars with no intentions of getting a job. [disgust]
Well said. Not a thing against single mothers or anyone else that at least tries. It's the people with absolutely no intention of ever working that gives all people on benefits a bad name. I've worked since 13 and never claimed benefits, I pay a good whack every month too and I can't afford designer labels or cars. I know of a family who got sky paid for under some social inclusion thing cause they had agrophobia and all sorts of things that stopped them going out!!I know plenty single mums that work hard for their families.
connieb19
28-Feb-07, 22:57
Many a people don't know when to keep their ain nose in their ain business.:roll:I think that's part of the problem, too many people minding their own business is what's letting the cheats get away with it, people should be encouraged to report them rather than turning a blind eye.
[evil]
I think that's part of the problem, too many people minding their own business is what's letting the cheats get away with it, people should be encouraged to report them rather than turning a blind eye.
[evil]
good on you connie, There's nothing worse than thinking that your tax is going towards paying for the one's that dont want to work.
I have nothing but admiration for the single parents who get off their backsides and earn a living to bring up their kids.
It really grates on me the ones who are more than happy to take handouts and never a thought of working, these are the one's who give all the others the bad name[disgust]
its not only single parents who have to live with the guilt of going to work and leaving their kids, but if you want to get anywhere in this life you have to work
That wasn't the way i meant it. I have a son and am not a single parent, I also work, i was just answering due to topic about what you were saying about single parents. I know it's hard on any parent leaving their child
As a single parent I chose to stay at home to raise my daughter until she was old enough to start nursery school, I wanted to look after her myself and did not see the point in working, being away from her all day, and handing over the majority of my earnings to pay for childcare.
When I did return to work, I took up a part-time position, most of the hours I worked she was in nursery anyway so I employed a childminder just for a wee while everyday and had help with tax credits to pay for the service.
Now I have just had another baby, no longer a single parent :D , and I don't intend to return to work until he is old enough probably to go to nursery.
I used to hate saying I was a single parent if anyone asked, mainly due to the fact I thought people would think I was lazy or sponging off the state, I did not set out to be a single parent as I don't think anybody does, her father walked out on her when she was just five weeks old, but today I am proud of the job I did of raising her single-handed!
Being a parent can be the hardest but best job in the world, it's sometimes not easy with two parents but to do it alone takes guts, so if someone has a problem with you being a single parent just remember it's THEIR problem!
I'll agree being a single parent off 2 small kids now myself isn't easy. I work part time while my oldest is at school my youngest has to go to a child minder now and I think it's wrong of people to be small minded where single parents are concerned wether they are single mums or single dads a lot of them want to work but cann't.:(
:eek:
Why does everyone assume that because someone is a single parent that they are lazy good for nothing folk who are more than happy to bring their kids up on state benefits, This may well be the case of some but it is totally unfair to tar all single parents with the same brush.
There are plenty of two parent families out there who are happy to live on state benefits aswell, but that doesnt mean all families on welfare are the same either
My mate is a single parent who works all hours god sends to give her kid a decent upbringing with a sense of value's yet people constantly assume because she is a single parent that she is on benefits.
So if you are one of these people just stop and think before opening your big mouth and remember you dont always know the persons situation so dont just assume and criticize, its offensive and demeaning to those who do work[disgust]
woah? sam, i did,nt know that anyone rattled your cage. of course there are situations where [through no fault of their own] single parents are bringing up their kids & doing a great job of it too. chill out
:eek:
woah? sam, i did,nt know that anyone rattled your cage. of course there are situations where [through no fault of their own] single parents are bringing up their kids & doing a great job of it too. chill out
I have no idea what wave length you are on or what planet for that matter, The point i am making is about people who assume that just because a person is a single parent they are to lazy to go out and work, when in fact there are plenty who do work and manage to do a good job raising their kids to.
so if you care to enlighten me as to what you are on about please feel free:confused
I have no idea what wave length you are on or what planet for that matter, The point i am making is about people who assume that just because a person is a single parent they are to lazy to go out and work, when in fact there are plenty who do work and manage to do a good job raising their kids to.
so if you care to enlighten me as to what you are on about please feel free:confused
and who are these people , certainly no one that i know.
and for your info my planet is my business. for all it is to you i might even be out of this world. but thats entirely up to me and me alone
and who are these people , certainly no one that i know.
and for your info my planet is my business. for all it is to you i might even be out of this world. but thats entirely up to me and me alone
lol a dont know what you are on :eek: but it certainly aint nothing to do with this topic, Nothing you have said makes one bit of sense:Razz
percy toboggan
01-Mar-07, 19:55
Anyone who 'assumes' all single parents are inferior in some way or are automatically second rate is, quite simply......stupid.
percy toboggan
01-Mar-07, 19:57
Well said. Not a thing against single mothers or anyone else that at least tries. It's the people with absolutely no intention of ever working that gives all people on benefits a bad name..
Here, here!
Or should it be 'hear hear?'
Either way you are absolutely right.
Anyone who 'assumes' all single parents are inferior in some way or are automatically second rate is, quite simply......stupid.
my point exactly :)
ŠAmethyst
01-Mar-07, 20:43
If I am ever blessed with a child, I would prefer to be married. Of course, some people have no control over this. I'd like to give my child the satisfaction of having both parents around.
At school, I was picked on for many reasons, one was that I didn't know who my father was. Those people now don't bother to mention it now that they're aware that I've met my father... and have no desire to have a relationship with him.
My mum was (and still is) a wonderful single parent. Did the best for my brother, sister and I. Would move the world for any of us. She is happiest when she's got a job.
I mean, there's not much need for single mum's to stay at home. Even when my mum changed job she is allowed to stay at home at weekends to look after the one that's still in primary school. And she isn't expected to work so many hours during the school holidays.
Come to think of it, there's not many employers who are so great... but they are out there :)
Here's to the single mums who want nothing but the best for their children!!!
lol a dont know what you are on :eek: but it certainly aint nothing to do with this topic, Nothing you have said makes one bit of sense:Razz
good bye then
ŠAmethyst
01-Mar-07, 21:20
good bye then
You in a huff then?
C'mon, where's yer .org happiness!?
You in a huff then?
C'mon, where's yer .org happiness!?
naw i dont do huffs [lol]
danc1ngwitch
01-Mar-07, 22:15
A man in the huff na nope never couldna be[lol] ah well give him a week, he will be just fine wouldna know he was in a huff after that.
ŠAmethyst
01-Mar-07, 22:20
lmao :lol:
A man in the huff na nope never couldna be[lol] ah well give him a week, he will be just fine wouldna know he was in a huff after that.
what makes you think it,s a man, could be a single parent using her sons pc?
what makes you think it,s a man, could be a single parent using her sons pc?
what do you think single parents are only females:confused
what do you think single parents are only females:confused
oh no no one knows that better than me
Bingobabe
02-Mar-07, 00:17
I dont believe that all single parents get tarred with the same brush i am friends with alot of single mothers. Whom would love to go back to work but by the time they have paid for everything there even worse of than they were to begin with.
I am not a single mother but after i had my son i went back to work full time to ensure my son was provided for and the bills were Paid .Yet a few people whom were single mothers at the time passed judgement on me because i went back to work full time eh???? By makeing statements such as awww what about e bairn he needs his mother dont ye feel bad mothers should be at home with their children. It was bad enough feeling guilty leaving him but to have people saying this sort of thing to me just annoyed the day lights out of me Yes of course i would of rather stayed at home but money doesnt grow on trees !!!
What i guess im trying to say it doesnt matter who you are what you do if your a single parent or not theres always someone whom thinks their intitled to stick their nose into your buisness and pass judgement so i dont agree fully that single mothers are all tarred with the same brush!!!!!
I'll agree being a single parent off 2 small kids now myself isn't easy.
Belated congrats on the arrival of your second child!
Being a parent can be the hardest but best job in the world, it's sometimes not easy with two parents but to do it alone takes guts, so if someone has a problem with you being a single parent just remember it's THEIR problem!
Well said Julia, I couldn't agree more.
Belated congrats on the arrival of your second child!
I think your 2yrs to late with your congrats as he'll be coming 3yrs in July
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