View Full Version : Foreign hospital funnies :-)

21-Sep-13, 20:04
1. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicide.
3. Patients medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only 11kgs weight gain in the past 3 days.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
9. The patient has been depressed ever since she started seeing me in 1993.
10. Discharge status : Alive but without my permission.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.
18. She stated she had been constipated for most of her life until she got divorced.
19. I saw you patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. The patient refused autopsy.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin : somewhat pale but present.
24. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
25. Patient has 2 teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

22-Sep-13, 15:17