Bullying.

[Glenys Hirst]

I hate bullying!!! My boy has been bullied at high school since starting this September!..Thats even after numerous phone calls,2 letters and a visit to see the headmistress!..What makes it worse is that my boy has aspergers syndrome!
Kids can be so cruel!!!!

[rfr10]

I hate bullying!!! My boy has been bullied at high school since starting this September!..Thats even after numerous phone calls,2 letters and a visit to see the headmistress!..What makes it worse is that my boy has aspergers syndrome!
Kids can be so cruel!!!!


Agree with you there.. It's the immaturity of some peope who don't know that they are hurting people. If it gets too serious then you should see the police about it because sometimes, telling the school won't do an awful lot. A lot of head teachers/ Rectors are too soft and many side with the bullys. People like this should be suspended, sometimes this still doesn't help because after a while they will just go back to it and many people have an attitude that even if they are warned, excluded, they don't care because they think it's cool to say how many times they've been suspended from school and try and compete against all their friends who are the same.

There's not an awful lot that can be done about it which is stupid. "If you're getting bullied, tell someone" doesn't really work as not much is ever done except the bully maybe given a warning. It can also be very hard to ignore them as sometimes it aggrivates them and makes things worse. Sometimes it may have the opposite effect though.

[EDDIE]

I would disagree with the fact that headmasters and teachers are to soft they have to work within the rules if they punish a kid these days they will get sued or fined.
The problem is there is to much blasted do gooders in this world that has created this system were its wrong to punish the offender they should bring back the belt the only way you get good disiplin in schools is buy fear of a good punishment like the belt and i think all kids needs disiplined to keep them in check

[rfr10]

I would disagree with the fact that headmasters and teachers are to soft they have to work within the rules if they punish a kid these days they will get sued or fined.
The problem is there is to much blasted do gooders in this world that has created this system were its wrong to punish the offender they should bring back the belt the only way you get good disiplin in schools is buy fear of a good punishment like the belt and i think all kids needs disiplined to keep them in check


Yes, but I'm sure a lot are not strict enough aswell.

[Glenys Hirst]

The bullies at my boy's school have had just a talking;kept in isolation for 1 day;told to stay clear of my boy..Oh and their parents have been informed!!!!!! Its obvious that this hasnt worked!
The bullying got that bad that my boy could not stand to be in the school and ran out of the school...thankfully a friend saw him as she was walking the dog and took him home to her house!
Yes,I totally agree,bring back the belt! I went to Wick High and there was no bother whilst I was there(1975-1981).

[Metalattakk]

I would disagree with the fact that headmasters and teachers are to soft they have to work within the rules if they punish a kid these days they will get sued or fined.
The problem is there is to much blasted do gooders in this world that has created this system were its wrong to punish the offender they should bring back the belt the only way you get good disiplin in schools is buy fear of a good punishment like the belt and i think all kids needs disiplined to keep them in check

English standards would undoubtedly benefit too, eh?

[Glenys Hirst]

Definatelly!!!!!! I'm totally appalled at the way this whole bullying thing with my boy is being dealt with...One teacher said ''its only name calling,you will have to learn to ignore it!''...How difficult is that for a boy who has learning difficulties and struggles to control his emotions..and these bullies thrive on the fact!
His infant and junior school never had problems and were to able to 'nip it in the bud' so to speak before it got any worse..they had learning mentors that dealt with behavour problems..He was very happy in his first school and I couldnt fault it at all..he still goes down to see his year6 teacher he had before going up to High school.

[theone]

English standards would undoubtedly benefit too, eh?

Made me giggle.

[painter]

Dont put up with it. Tell the school you are getting the police involved !

[Kaishowing]

English standards would undoubtedly benefit too, eh?
Catty!!! LOL



The trouble is that if you say to the child 'Stand up for yourself, and fight back!...chances are that's exactly when one of the teachers will be witness to the trouble, and then the victim is hauled in front of the headmaster/mistress accused of being a bully themselves!
I've lost count of ho many times I've heard of situations like that.
I'd send a final letter to the school and mention that next time it happens you'll get the ploice involved...That may light a fire under their er.....seats!
As a past victim of bullying, I hope it soon gets brought to an end.

[Lucy]

My daughter was the subject of bullying a few years back. i didn't bother with the letters i just became the mother from hell. i demanded to speak to he head master (at that time) every morning b4 allowing my daughter to go to her class, this annoyed the headmaster as he kept saying he had a lot to get done in the morning, i stated i had to ensure that my daughter was happy and safe at school and that was a bigger priority. i again went every day at the close of school and when things didn't get done i took it to the area authority stating all the area's in which the school had failed. e.g. failed to keep my daughter in a safe environment when in their care. failed to protect her from harm, failed to keep her in an environment condusive to learning, etc. I also involved the police and informed the school that i had done this. (Apparently there is supposed to be a school liaison officer.) i was fortunate that my work allowed me the time to do this, but involve your friends, relatives etc to get on to the school until something is done. i don't know which part worked but it finally stopped.

[Angela]

I hate bullying!!! My boy has been bullied at high school since starting this September!..Thats even after numerous phone calls,2 letters and a visit to see the headmistress!..What makes it worse is that my boy has aspergers syndrome!
Kids can be so cruel!!!!

I'm so sorry to hear about your son, it must be especially hard for him. You're right, kids can be very cruel, and the fact he has asperger's syndrome is probably one reason why the bullies have picked on him.

My daughter was bullied in the first year of secondary -it seems to be a particularly bad time for it, when kids can be particularly vulnerable to this kind of thing. It was nothing physical, but emotional cruelty -excluding her from their group, verbal taunts etc, which is just as bad of course.

It was obvious something was wrong and she did eventually tell us about it.
The school didn't seem to take it all that seriously though.

I went to see the parents of the ringleader - my own knees were knocking I must say, but to my surprise they believed me, and whatever they did, the bullying stopped.

I know it wouldn't work in every case though, might just make things worse, and you shouldn't have to do it. :confused

[elaine]

I reckon the school needs to come up with some positive strategies to combat bullying but it's a long process of trial and error and is a really frustrating issue as no punishment ever seems to work.

I've been in and about a few different schools and have seen several different bullying policies at work. It also depends where the bullying is taking place as to what can be done i.e. is it in class, between periods, interval, lunch, on the way home, on the bus, cyber? All of the above?

In one school they assigned some 6th years (normally prefects) to each 1st year group. These seniors would show them the way to their classes for the first couple of weeks and then continued to be someone they could approach throughout the year. I had a girl who was terrified of period change. So a couple of prefects came and collected her a couple of minutes before the bell (she slipped out as the others were packing up).
Another idea, if the teachers are aware of a problem, is to release them separately when the bell goes i.e. stagger the class as they leave - let the victims group go first (headstart) and then let the bullys group go last - they have no idea you know what's going on. We also used to get regular e-mails to keep an eye on certain pupils and to keep them separate in class. Of course the easiest thing to do if it's happening in class is to put them in a different class altogether!
Another idea is to have somewhere else to go at interval or lunch - a kind of manned drop-in area which you need permission to use. Could be the library or a classroom. Or even just make an arrangement with a teacher - I used to have a kid and his pal who came up every lunch, ate their food then played on the keyboards because one of them was getting a hard time in the cafe. It was no skin off my back - I was there anyway. They only came for a couple of months then drifted away (the bullys had probably moved on to someone else in that time - more's the pity!)
I've also seen big bullies in internal suspension (normally these kids are in trouble for many other things too) and getting their lunch at a different time from everyone else. It is a hilarious sight seeing them sitting at a table the period before lunch eating in silence with only a depute head for company - hee hee hee. I was also bullied at school - I soooo wish that had happened to them!
If it's happening on the way home, again staggering the kids as they leave is an option (keep the bullies back for 10 mins) - if they all get buses then that's more complicated. Avoiding the bus altogether may be an idea - go to grannies house and get picked up later for example.
It might be worth suggesting/demanding a few things that you think might work - you never know! Arrange another meeting to discuss what they're going to do next as the bullying has not stopped (armed with a list of things they could try).
Make a nuisance of youself until they do something about it!

Bullies are a royal pain in the rear end! They are not normally the sharpest pins in the box (see CBB!) and things can be tried and tested without them having the foggiest! And sometimes that's the best way - if they are kept in the dark they can't take it out on anybody. I know this does not solve the problem of them not getting punished for the fact that they make people miserable - oh man....who knows what to do!

I hope they get it sorted for you soon! Fingers crossed................

[j4bberw0ck]

My stepson was bullied on the school bus - repeatedly. Persistence is the only thing that pays, though we were fortunate in having support from the headmaster of the school - or at least, he was prepared to listen. Every time it happened we made a formal written complaint (though a word processor is useful thing for that!) and then spoke with the head teacher. The bully was warned and then threatened with suspension. The next time it happened after the suspension threat we were just printing off another formal complaint and the phone rang - it was the kid who was doing the bullying, pleading with us not to report him again.

We told him that he'd been warned and now he could live with the consequences; suspension followed. The kid's father ripped into him when he found out - it stopped.

I agree with Angela, though - if you can find it within yourself, go direct to see the parents - preferably the mothers - of the bully or bullies and explain what's happening. Keep it calm. They may have no idea; everyone wants to believe their kid is an angel.

Good luck and best wishes. J

[Tubthumper]

Sympathise with you re your son's bullying. It's a very thorny problem, for kids, parents & schools (and the Police too I suspect).
I remember being on the receiving end of bullying at school, but I also remember leading or joining those dishing it out, sometimes in the same day! And I seem to remember that us kids involved were not necessarily monsters, from broken families, or even delinquents. I think actually most of us grew up quite normal!
Another thing I've had experience of recently was a little chap who I observed winding up his peer group, (who disliked him for a number of reasons) and then when they were 'nasty' to him came running in hysterical tears to the nearest mature person claiming he was being bullied! What do you do?
However for those of us yearning for the return of the belt...
I remember the belt. Funny thing it was always the same people who got the belt, for a range of misdemeanours which might or might not include bullying. So as a deterrent it didn't work. I always considered it was more to do with the teacher getting out their anger & frustration, which might not be such a good idea seeing as their anger & frustration might be nothing to do with the kids in the school. Brutality breeds brutality anyone?
And anyway, if anyone, teacher or otherwise, laid a finger (or tawse) on my child without me being consulted, I would give that individual some serious advice with both hands. And once they'd been released from hospital I would sue them and ensure they never worked with children again.
There are those who say that bullying is a throwback to the days where school was a rehearsal for real life and that people learned about groups and pecking orders, their relative positions, and what to do to improve their lot.
Me? I believe it's a very complicated world out there, and children are strange creatures. No easy answers I'm afraid.

[danc1ngwitch]

My boyz were out last week, running around with a few others. A knock came to my door, here was a well known ruffin sobbin telling me of how my boyz kicked his legs an chased him down the street. I was horrified, i thought "wow" my boyz are very active etc but no way would they do such a thing. My eldest girl however refused to beleive this lad and called him a liar to his face i disiplined her there and then.
I called for my boyz and spoke to them turns out it was not my boyz, it was boyz some friends but not mine... I spoke to the childs mother who shrugged it of failing to see the how serious lies are.
I dislike bulling, under no circumstances should a child have to listen to filth thrown at them from other smug children who fail to understand that everyone has feelings. To be taunted infront of a group of kids that are against you because they themselves are afraid to say to these bullies your wrong.
( me i listen to myself now, anyone gives me gripe, i use the *more u say the less i hear * )
Deal with the bullies no one should have to harden to them.

[Tubthumper]

Good stuff DancingWitch. Casteltown, as I understand it, seems to have a real problem with teenage neds hanging around and causing mayhem, vandalism, bullying, attacking other kids etc. I've seen the police around a few times. Yet all of these young neds have got parents, they all live in Castletown, does nobody pass on the message that their bairns are turning bad?
I wonder if their parents say "not my kids, they told me it wasn't them and they wouldn't lie to me..."

[danc1ngwitch]

as i have passed on a mesg or two masel, i know they know. But, you know some parents have alot to do wea their own personal lives an their kiddies are only havin a bittie o fun.
It's not fun when windows are being broken an other kids have to run for fear they will be the ones seen and pinned for it.
Don't get me wrong my children are probably no angels tho like all parents i like to think they are. If I Ever Thought They Were Vandalisin, Teasin Or Tormentin I Would Deal Wea It.

[cuddlepop]

I seem to remember reading on the HC website that certain primary schools in Highland have to have a sort of mental health type councillor attached to them.Its got something to do with the school nurses becoming more aware of low self estem in our yougsters and the effect bullying and various other issue attached to well being have on them.:eek:
Personely I feel we need more regocnition for this type of service in our high schools which is delivered by someone other than education because sometimes kids cant remove the education from the problem and by having someone who was independent something may get done.
Bullyed youngsters have major self estem issues when they get older and need our help now.
Glynes's son hasn't the ability to seperate himself from the bullyes mentally because of the Asperger's and a deep mistrust of everyone other than family manifests itself :~(