Rain Man

[secrets in symmetry]

I am beginning to believe in mystical powers after all.

The sky goes dark and it starts raining every time I start cutting the grass.

There are far-flung parts of the world in which I could make a fortune. Should I try?

[Tilly Teckel]

There's a Catch-22 here; if there's no rain there, there's no grass for you to cut: if there's no grass for you to cut, there's no rain...

Now my brain hurts...

[secrets in symmetry]

There's a Catch-22 here; if there's no rain there, there's no grass for you to cut: if there's no grass for you to cut, there's no rain...I hadn't thought of that....

Would they laugh at me if I went into the desert with a lawnmower?

[Dadie]

Think I am suffering from sods law this week...everytime I have washing on the line someone lights a bonfire, with the wind blowing across my washing!

[secrets in symmetry]

Think I am suffering from sods law this week...everytime I have washing on the line someone lights a bonfire, with the wind blowing across my washing!I now understand how your white knickers turned beige! :cool:

[orkneycadian]

What you need to do, Dadie, is campaign to get a wind farm built near you. The windmills will then use up all the wind, so that the smoke from the bonfires goes straight up, and won't blow across your smalls.

[Dadie]

I dont hang out smalls ( or underwear thats not so small...bridget jones anyone?) anyway...but when you have just washed 4 lots of bed linen and hung it out (pegs all the same colour on the lines..ie a purple peg line and a blue peg line and a pink peg line..ok its my ocd!) and then you go indoors to feed the little stuff in the dryer and make a cuppa and by the time the kettle boils...the smoke is passing the kitchen window from a bonfire...grrr!

[orkneycadian]

pegs all the same colour on the lines..ie a purple peg line and a blue peg line and a pink peg line..ok its my ocd!

Thats quite concerning.... What happens if you cant finish the purple peg line because there aren't enough purple pegs in the bag?

[Dadie]

I leave that line and start another...or if all other lines are filled I swap all the pegs for another colour....purple is fine though im short on pegs if I use yellow!

[orkneycadian]

And do the clothes need to be organised along the line, sheets at one end, down to hankies at the other? ;) (considering that the smalls go in the tumble drier....)

[Dadie]

No..just pegs in same colour along the top and things that can double up on pegs ie a line of towels sharing pegs at the corners etc...less peg wastage!
Tops hung up at the bottoms sharing pegs etc...trousers cant share pegs...
Hankies go in the dryer(only hubs uses real hankies)...along with all the other small stuff if solar panels say yes! if not radiators or drying racks!
But a tissue in the wash [evil] means shake everything out and rewash.
Bonfire means me hopping mad ..dancing round the kitchen looking for swear word alternitives and quick washing everything on the line again!
Dont mind doing washing if the stuff gets to be used between washes ...but washing and having to rewash because people do not have the courtesy to say they are burning garden stuff/BBQ and you might want to take it in really annoys me!...and it confuses me how some will have a bonfire going and washing on the line at the same time with the wind blowing the smoke over the washing and not be bothered by it...dont you want your washing smelling fresh and clean?

[secrets in symmetry]

We'd make a great team Dadie. You bring fire and I bring rain.

I've seen fire and I've seen rain. But I set fire to the rain.

[Dadie]

if only you could rain only on the bonfires enough to douse them without sending smoke my laundry way.....
As for me bringing fire I still have the fireworks that should have been let off at the wee chiels birthday on the 1st jan...but had the parents dogs...and they go ape over such things....so they are ready n waiting to be used!
lidls best kept in a sweetie tin..in the shed!...dont let fireworks house room!

[secrets in symmetry]

I'll work on independently-targeted precision rain, but I'm not promising anything yet.

My first project is to design a mower whose blades don't get ruined by sand or camel dung....

[ducati]

I think I've just lost the will to live.

[sids]

I think I've just lost the will to live.

When a man is bored of smoking Dadie's smalls,.... you know the rest.

[Rheghead]

What weather would you expect if you used a scythe? Hail? As you will not be making any CO2 emissions?

[shazzap]

I think I've just lost the will to live. Lol....:lol:

[billmoseley]

The nearest SIS would get to a scythe is when the Grime Reaper comes visiting

[secrets in symmetry]

What weather would you expect if you used a scythe? Hail? As you will not be making any CO2 emissions?Are you suggesting that I should use a push mower to keep the rain at bay?

Pushing a mower needs energy, which comes from my food - whose production probably caused some net CO2 emissions....

[secrets in symmetry]

It happened again tonight. I thought about cutting the grass, I looked out the window, it had just started raining!

[billmoseley]

it's stopped now

[orkneycadian]

Wait until you see Dadies washing on the line. That means someone is going to have a bonfire. If they are having a bonfire, then they are of the opinion its not going to rain - The same conclusion Dadie came to before hanging her washing out.

Should however, that theory not work, there will still be good karma. As you think about cutting the grass, the rain will start. The bonfire will be extinguised and Dadie will not have smoky undergarments. They will however have to be put in the tumble drier, but at least they won't need to be washed again.

Everybody happy - Simples!

[sassylass]

This is the first thread in ages to make me laugh out loud [lol]

[secrets in symmetry]

This is the first thread in ages to make me laugh out loud [lol]I hope it didn't make you wet your smalls - smoked or otherwise lol!

[Dadie]

nice to have a light hearted thread once in a while ....though my washing with colour co ordinated pegs got rained on (sigh ocd) but my knickers were tumble dried and nice n dry as undies dont go on the washing line !
The firestarters must have known it was going to get wet today :mad:
While I was an optimist!
But I wasnt at home to take in the washing when the rain started.....my wee boy got sand in his eye at nursery and after a trip to the chemist (Wick)then docs(Thurso) to get drops the washing was wet and needing spun again ....then tumble dried...grr

[secrets in symmetry]

Good, that's the washing problem, the rain problem, and the smoke problem all solved.

Now, is someone going to find a solution to the problem I have with sand ruining my mower? I'm off to Abu Dhabi soon, and I'm getting worried.

[Dadie]

Nope..think washing problem, rain problem and smoke problem has escalated!
Washing was duly hung out...bonfire started while I was out...then it rained to add insult to injury!
Smokey wet washing awaited me on my return.....and the grass needs cut again!

[secrets in symmetry]

Evidently, I spoke too soon....

I can't help you with your grass, because my mower will soon be en route to Abu Dhabi courtesy of DHL. From there it's onward to the Saudi desert by private camel train.

Perhaps I could wrap the blades in your discarded smoky drawers. You'd have to whip them off quickly and bring them down here before daybreak though....

[Dadie]

Not wearing any drawers....
Smoky or otherwise....
Washing in machine redone and all washing up to date other than jammies that are being worn by everyone!
PS my jammies are not what you are thinking ....mine are cotton cover all (neck to ankle)and cartoon printed...not french knickers and cami duo in satin!

[secrets in symmetry]

Which cartoon characters do you have on your jammies?

Will you wear your satin cami ones tomorrow night?

[neilsermk1]

How much Co2 was created making the scythe blade?
What weather would you expect if you used a scythe? Hail? As you will not be making any CO2 emissions?

[secrets in symmetry]

How much Co2 was created making the scythe blade?Probably more than created by washing Dadie's smalls.

What's the forecast for tomorrow? My grass needs cutting....

[Dadie]

Think it will be the same as today...muggy, drizzly with midgies
Not grass cutting weather or hanging out washing weather!
Or with the way the little blood suckers like my blood and the resulting reactions my skin breaks out in (2p sized red raised lumps per bite)...not even going outside weather....unless doped to the eyeballs on antihistamines...side effects almost make suffering the bites look favourable than the treatment...

[secrets in symmetry]

It was a beautiful day here in Symmetric Symmetry Land, but the forecast for tomorrow is indeed drizzly. How am I supposed to practise mowing the desert if it's raining?

[Dadie]

Bucket n spade?

[secrets in symmetry]

I've just realised that I won't need a bucket and spade if I can make it rain in the desert.

[Dadie]

no...but intricate sandcastles could make up for a lawn that needs watered every night then mowed and fed etc..spech with water issues...a different approach to gardening might be needed!
Zen garden?
Where Im looking to get myself a midgie eater for us as have spent loads getting the parents one they dont use properly.....
Therefore still eaten out at their house!

[secrets in symmetry]

There are no midgies in my garden. Rain Man and Midgie Chaser - I think I'm going to get rich quick. :cool:

[Dadie]

The midgie is a terrible beastie
A SCOURGE ON PEOPLE
Eating of anyone thats tasty
lumps n bumps it leaves in its wake
scratching forsake!
...

[secrets in symmetry]

The midgie is a terrible beastie
A SCOURGE ON PEOPLE
Eating of anyone thats tasty
lumps n bumps it leaves in its wake
scratching forsake!
...Have you heard about my midge-eating camel?

[secrets in symmetry]

It was sunny outside when I decided to cut the grass. By the time I'd finished it was bucketing down.

[billmoseley]

are you sure your neighbor is not winding you up and just turning on their sprinkler system?

[secrets in symmetry]

are you sure your neighbor is not winding you up and just turning on their sprinkler system?It would have to be a huge sprinkler system - it was the heaviest rain shower I've been caught in for a long time!

[secrets in symmetry]

I fooled the rain yesterday.

It started raining just as I went outside to cut the grass, so I went back indoors.

The clever bit was to go back outside again just after the shower stopped. I'd already cut the grass before the rain noticed it had been fooled. :cool:

[billmoseley]

Mother nature will always win. She will get her revenge

[secrets in symmetry]

Mother nature will always win. She will get her revengeShe did - today.

But victory was sweet - while it lasted. :cool:

[billmoseley]

you must be jinxed. it takes me three hours to cut my grass and i always seem to do it in the dry

[secrets in symmetry]

you must be jinxed. it takes me three hours to cut my grass and i always seem to do it in the dryWe'd make a great business team - I start the rain, and you stop it after the desired amount has fallen. :cool:

[billmoseley]

your almost turning us into gods

[orkneycadian]

No word on the bonfires and Dadies washing?

[Dadie]

Been to busy twisting ticks off the kids...
Thinking of frontline....
But its not a joke this year we have had 2 attached ticks and 3 scouring for blood ..on us!
Not pets....within village boundaries...mine was at sports day at the school! Rest as far as I know are at the park (sheep nextdoor) .
WE NEVER HAD A COLD WINTER TO KILL EM OFF .................THIS YEAR IS GOING TO BE BAD!

[orkneycadian]

Been to busy twisting ticks off the kids........
WE NEVER HAD A COLD WINTER TO KILL EM OFF .................THIS YEAR IS GOING TO BE BAD!

Wow! Looks like you wont have time for washing this year, what with ticking off the kids, and hoping a cold winter comes along to kill them off! ;)