Spam, Spam, Go Away, Come Again Another Day

[sgmcgregor]

Hello all,

I just thought I would try to help everyone maintain some sanity while the Orgministrators work toward stopping the intrusion onto this message board by the avid sales people - the obvious question arises, "If one wishes to grow their market share, shouldn't one speak the lingo?". Anyway, I said something about trying to maintain sanity, but I think I will go with a short poem instead.

Mary had a little lamb, the doctors were surprised,
But when MacDonald had a farm they couldn't believe their eyes!

I was trying to keep on message with the earlier posting about chickens. I thought it was eggcellent.

I hope I don't get barred from the message board for that!

Steven

[Torvaig]

Good one Steven; don't let the retards get you down; do you know anything that rhymes with retards? ; > ))

[Phill]

Fecking ducktards!

[sgmcgregor]

Good one Steven; don't let the retards get you down; do you know anything that rhymes with retards? ; > ))

Torvaig,

How about we try the following - the ending of each line rhymes with the stated sentiment (but I am a coward at heart, and am ever mindful of the P.C. Police hence my ducking the original post! Replace spammer with the original word, and it still rhymes.)

"Against the spammer be on guard,
Maybe the spammer should be barred".

Regards,
Steven

[Torvaig]

Oh dear Steven, I don't think my brain is up to that today! I have just finished composing and editing (many edits!) a post on a subject I feel strongly about and which took me many minutes to conclude!

My brain is now befuddleds, befuddled even, and I must now quaff a coffee to converge my quips and to concentrate on completing the rest of the day competently and composedly.

I'm sure some of our many poets will come up with more ideas though; there are a few lyricists on the org!

[sgmcgregor]

Hello Torvaig,

From your posting I wasn't sure where I rate on your popularity list, but I thought I would follow up anyway. Everyone deserves an arch-nemesis. I hoped to make one of you today ;-) Poets and lyricists aside, I simply googled a rhyme for the original posting so no work at all went in to my missive. There follows a finely crafted message (of roughly ten minutes), so be sure to appreciate the artistic quality! Plus I am still on a kick about cheering everyone up after the unwarranted attention from our capitalist friend. (All you latecomers to the board - there was a massive spamming campaign by somebody to this message board - so I have returned to spam as a topic).

Spam was our saviour in World War Two;
But now with the Internet, what a hullabaloo;
Spam and spam are no longer the same thing;
Feed your kids on one, the other sells you a ring!

If I were a butcher, I’d eat up the meat;
The other sells you something to treat your feet;
One you’d love to see in your lunch-box;
The other sells you something to perk up your socks!

If there was something in the world to protect my shoes;
Then, Lord only knows, I wouldn’t have the Blues;
If only there was a word to rhyme with Scotch Guard;
I wouldn’t have Torvaig calling me a ******! (Note)


I know the message boards are confined to Caithness related material, so I only want to say this, “Caithness, Caithness, and Caithness. It’s great, isn’t it?”

(Note) - Torvaig, I know you never referred to me in any such way in any posting. I'm trying to be funny. I feel the need to explain this, because the written word can always be misconstrued. I am usually the one who does the "misconstruing". Is that even a real word??

Regards,
Steven (Nothing better to do with my time!)

[jacko]

sure and it s beginning with b.

[Torvaig]

You're OK Steven; I have not been " misconstruing " anything and I am too tired to even check the spelling of same so have copied your version! Enjoyed your poem though; you've obviously missed your true vocation!

I'm glad to see the spammers have vanished; such a nuisance. Will have a look at the rest of the postings to see if I have missed anything interesting. Gave up on the org in the morning but did find some work to do. Note to self; don't look for work, it will find you.