Ham Sandwiches.

[John Little]

I am very fond of ham sandwiches.

They are very nice.

Do you like Ham Sandwiches too?

[Bobinovich]

Oooh an insightful thread...one to really get my teeth stuck into lol! In reply my answer is Yes...Yes I do, but I can think of other fillings which make me salivate more!

[Phill]

Wagon Wheels are not as big as they used to be! [disgust]

[sids]

You can get the death penalty for eating bacon sandwiches in some mythical extremist country.

[Phill]

We present a new analysis of stellar mass functions (MF) in the COSMOS field to fainter limits than has been previously probed to z~1. Neither the total nor the passive or star-forming MF can be well fit with a single Schechter function once one probes below 3e9 Msun.
We observe a dip or plateau at masses ~1e10 Msun, and an upturn towards a steep faint-end slope of -1.7 at lower mass at any z<1. This bimodal nature of the MF is not solely a result of the blue/red dichotomy. The blue MF is by itself bimodal at z~1.

This suggests a new dichotomy in galaxy formation that predates the appearance of the red sequence. We propose two interpretations for this bimodality. If the gas fraction increases towards lower mass, galaxies with M_baryon~1e10 Msun would shift to lower stellar masses, creating the observed dip. This would indicate a change in star formation efficiency, perhaps linked to supernovae feedback becoming much more efficient. Therefore, we investigate whether the dip is present in the baryonic (stars+gas) MF. Alternatively, the dip could be created by an enhancement of the galaxy assembly rate at ~1e11 Msun, a phenomenon that naturally arises if the baryon fraction peaks at M_halo ~1e12 Msun. In this scenario, galaxies occupying the bump around M* would be identified with central galaxies and the second fainter component having a steep faint-end slope with satellites.
While the dip is apparent in the total MF at any z, it appears to shift from the blue to red population, likely as a result of transforming high-mass blue galaxies into red ones. At the same time, we detect a drastic upturn in the number of low-mass red galaxies. Their increase with time reflects a decrease in the number of blue systems and so we tentatively associate them with satellite dwarf galaxies that have undergone quenching.

[gleeber]

Would I be right in thinking you would only get ham sandwiches in Democracies? I suppose Pakistans a democracy but I imagine if you were caught selling ham sandwiches in Islamibad you would get the death sentence.

[John Little]

You can get the death penalty for eating bacon sandwiches in some mythical extremist country.

OOOPS! Pink slip for you - elephant in room!

Whereever that is - I ain't going there!

[John Little]

Would I be right in thinking you would only get ham sandwiches in Democracies? I suppose Pakistans a democracy but I imagine if you were caught selling ham sandwiches in Islamibad you would get the death sentence.

I think you can get them in China....

[John Little]

We present a new analysis of stellar mass functions (MF) in the COSMOS field to fainter limits than has been previously probed to z~1. Neither the total nor the passive or star-forming MF can be well fit with a single Schechter function once one probes below 3e9 Msun.
We observe a dip or plateau at masses ~1e10 Msun, and an upturn towards a steep faint-end slope of -1.7 at lower mass at any z<1. This bimodal nature of the MF is not solely a result of the blue/red dichotomy. The blue MF is by itself bimodal at z~1.

This suggests a new dichotomy in galaxy formation that predates the appearance of the red sequence. We propose two interpretations for this bimodality. If the gas fraction increases towards lower mass, galaxies with M_baryon~1e10 Msun would shift to lower stellar masses, creating the observed dip. This would indicate a change in star formation efficiency, perhaps linked to supernovae feedback becoming much more efficient. Therefore, we investigate whether the dip is present in the baryonic (stars+gas) MF. Alternatively, the dip could be created by an enhancement of the galaxy assembly rate at ~1e11 Msun, a phenomenon that naturally arises if the baryon fraction peaks at M_halo ~1e12 Msun. In this scenario, galaxies occupying the bump around M* would be identified with central galaxies and the second fainter component having a steep faint-end slope with satellites.
While the dip is apparent in the total MF at any z, it appears to shift from the blue to red population, likely as a result of transforming high-mass blue galaxies into red ones. At the same time, we detect a drastic upturn in the number of low-mass red galaxies. Their increase with time reflects a decrease in the number of blue systems and so we tentatively associate them with satellite dwarf galaxies that have undergone quenching.





Nom Nom Nom - best sandwich filler ever! Can you get it in jars?

[Flynn]

This clearly means you favour fur farming in China, I am outraged. Why won't you address the issue of fur farming? <end crayola interjection>

[John Little]

This clearly means you favour fur farming in China, I am outraged. Why won't you address the issue of fur farming? <end crayola interjection>

Now I can't decide if you are fur or against ham sandwiches!

[Alrock]

This clearly means you favour fur farming in China, I am outraged. Why won't you address the issue of fur farming? <end crayola interjection>

Do the Chinese eat the animal (they'll eat anything in China, including ham sandwiches I guess) as well as take the fur?

[John Little]

Do the Chinese eat the animal (they'll eat anything in China, including ham sandwiches I guess) as well as take the fur?

How dare you! Why are you not mentioning drilling for oil in Alaska?

[Alice in Blunderland]

Given that Islamabad is not full of Muslims I would think you would be able to get ham on a sandwich somewhere if you looked around.

[Phill]

I am frankly outraged at people's inaction about the inhumane treatment of Tauntauns, the abuse these animals suffer being used as a form of transport is disgusting. Just because it doesn't happen in the UK means we can turn a blind eye??

[Phill]

Do the Chinese eat the animal (they'll eat anything in China, including ham sandwiches I guess) as well as take the fur?They'll eat anything with four legs or two wings, except aeroplanes, tables and ham sandwiches! (apparently)

[Rheghead]

I had a summer job for a large furniture retailer and I was told not to eat ham sandwiches on the premises as the owner was Jewish.

But i found an excellent topping to go with them in Tain this weekend, Struan's chillie and wholegrain mustard.

[Alrock]

How dare you! Why are you not mentioning drilling for oil in Alaska?

What has that got to do with ham?
We all know that American oilmen only eat beef.

[John Little]

What has that got to do with ham?We all know that American oilmen only eat beef.That is an excellent point and I apologise humbly, fawningly and in oily fashion at your feet. I do agree with Phill on the Tauns Tauns though and think they should be cross bred with Ewoks whilst being fed solely on ham sandwiches...

[John Little]

If they had Ham sandwiches in the Ark, could Noah be done for cannibalism?

[wicker8]

now i can't decide if you are fur or against ham sandwiches! love it so funny john

[cherokee]

Yep, love 'em, but just have to have mustard on them !! ;)

[joxville]

I love a ham sandwich with cheese, though sometimes I might have a cheese sandwich with ham. Having the same sandwiches all the time becomes boring.

[John Little]

Wagon Wheels are not as big as they used to be! [disgust]That is true oh Emperor of the known Universe! I remember them much bigger than today and much spicier! It's a con!

[orkneycadian]

I'm outraged! You appear to be sanctioning the murder of poor pigs, who haven't even murdered anything themselves. And as for your murderous suggestion to bake poor harmless yeast cells to death in a blazing hot oven, just so you can enjoy your bread.... You should be ashamed of yourself!

[John Little]

So! I ask you the burning question of the day!

What do we do with those heinous thugs who murder those poor pigs then cry up the virtues of pork scratchings?

As to bread- next you will be excusing, on humanitarian grounds, the mastication of poor innocent vegetables!!!

You sound like one of those Vegemitarians to me, and if I had my way I'd bang you all up in Guantanamo.

Or even Berriedale!

[orkneycadian]

I am sorry, but burning questions such as these cannot be answered by one individual in isolation. They should really be put to a public referendum.

"Should pigs be slaughtered in cold blood for the purposes of making ham sandwiches? Text "Yes" or "No" to John Little - Texts might cost you something, unless you are using your works, or your wifes phone, in which case it probably won't"

[John Little]

Not my wife's!

She never switches it on!

[macadamia]

I'll have you know Guantanemera was a fave song of mine - I used to hum it while ingesting non-mustardised ham sandwiches made from the rump of stout Spandau wild boar as a lifeguard at the Olympic Stadium in Berlin, and I think anybody who dislikes ham sarnies or John Little should be democratically taken to trial, and then strung up for being an anti social little baa lamb. Bring back corporal punishment, the lash, and enforced National Service. Oh yes, and outside toilets and rickets too! We've got too soft as a country. Thank goodness for this civilised Org, where I can sound off without being sent to the rubber room......If you rent a ham sandwich, is it a Hamlet? Or a Danish? Or not worth shaking a spear at? We should be told, as we are a democracy. Honest............NURSE!

[John Little]

Rien du moutarde? Nurse!

Clap this man in irons!

There he can write his confession in pure Org Ham script until being pelted with fried Mars Bars until he sees the error of his way!

No mustard!


It's like Yorkshire without the pudding or Haggis without the oatmeal!

[Rheghead]

I'm really passionate about ham. It has to be proper cured ham, if your idea of ham is that sweaty stuff that comes in a plastic carton from a supermarket then you need to be shot against a blood splattered wall.

[John Little]

I'm really passionate about ham. It has to be proper cured ham, if your idea of ham is that sweaty stuff that comes in a plastic carton from a supermarket then you need to be shot against a blood splattered wall.

Mind you - capital punishment for hamming it badly might seem a little OTT for less dedicated afficionados than yourself.

A poll might be a good idea.

Got to have an unweighted question though, you knows- something like ' Hey Gringo - should morons who eat processed Tesco ham be shot against a baked adobe wall in the searing mid-day sun by the Federales?'

[gingernut]

18846 Yummmmmmmmy!

[Phill]

Phwoar!!!!

[starfish]

proper ham thick cut with real bread must be butter and english mustard and a bag of ready salted crisps

[Phill]

Opening times for Tesco's as follows:


Opening Times
Store Opening TimesDay Open Closed
Monday 0600 midnight
Tuesday 0600 midnight
Wednesday 0600 midnight
Thursday 0600 midnight
Friday 0600 midnight
Saturday 0600 midnight
Sunday 0800 2000


My Pleasure.

[Alrock]

Opening times for Tesco's as follows:


Opening Times
Store Opening TimesDay Open Closed
Monday 0600 midnight
Tuesday 0600 midnight
Wednesday 0600 midnight
Thursday 0600 midnight
Friday 0600 midnight
Saturday 0600 midnight
Sunday 0800 2000


My Pleasure.

Is that Thurso or Wick?

[Moira]

I am very fond of ham sandwiches.

They are very nice.

Do you like Ham Sandwiches too?

I love them,but the ham has to be thick and slathered in English mustard. No other mustard will do. French mustard is too mild and the Scots never did conquer the mustard market. ;)

[Phill]

Is that Thurso or Wick?Oh for fec..... how hard is it!

Tesco Wick (http://www.tesco.com/storeLocator/?bid=5330)

Thirsa Tesco (http://storelocator.asda.com/store/roehampton)

[John Little]

Having seen the news I think that there is a very highly paid footballer called Suarez who should be given a ham sandwich before a match.

The poor man was clearly ravenous.

Ruff- Ruff!

[macadamia]

I am fed up to the back teeth with this argument of the deaf regarding ham sandwiches. Where do you people get off with judgemental utterances - how DARE you speak of "cured" ham, as if any other kind was somehow less than morally correct? This is the kind of arbitrary, kerbstone justice you'd expect to find in a lynch mob. And as for the insistence on ENGLISH mustard - that is rather like smearing dog poo on a chocolate eclair. Do you not understand that Colmans (the only genuine manufacturer and purveyor of the comestible) is the very spawn of right-wing Tory thinking? That the original idea of mustard - think mustard GAS - was to render any food contaminated by it unable to be eaten by, yes, you guessed it, the very widows and orphans which the Tories insisted on grabbing the very crusts from in their evil struggle to dominate the world? And you dare to proselyte its continued use, despite its self-confessed despotic history? The same country which wishes to claim Independence in just over a year?

Exactly! "English" mustard on "cured" ham must cease immediately, or, as the Kirk will surely tell you, you're all doomed!

[John Little]

Actually mein Gruppenfuhrer mustard provides the prefect (sic) example of a fusion of all that is best in England and Scotland.

I mind well the moment when I became hooked on mustard at the age of 8 in the railway station restaurant (as it was then) in Inverness. There was going to be a long wait for the Thurso Flyer and I was asked what I wanted for dinner.

On the menu was Aberdeen Angus; there was a picture of a bull I took to be Angus from Aberdeen. And a picture of steak and chips - it looked lush.

So it arrived and there was this yellow stuff on the table that I had never tried, but was supposed to be good with steak. I put some on my steak, the fumes went up my nose and my eyes watered.

Hooked. Aberdeen Angus and thick yellow imperialistic Colman's is food for princes. Addicted.

I have never tried dog poo on a chocolate eclair ....

Or on anything else actually.

[macadamia]

And you a life-long Socialist! O tempora! O mores! My time here on Planet Earth is terminated. I must hie me to Zog, where my pronouncements will surely be welcomed.

I come in peace! I bring my own tinfoil helmet! And my very own..........NURSE!

[John Little]

Moi? Socialist? Oh I am misunderstood! Helas!

La plume de ma tante est perdu!

I am sure that the King of the Albanians will give you a hearty welcome.

His tinfoil hats are made of gold leaf and the nurses all resemble Hattie Jaques.

[macadamia]

Apologies - I may have got my "isms" in a twist. Rosicrucian? Fundamentalist? Mentalist? Whatever, to quote most 17 year olds. Anyways up, if we're doing French quotey things, I'll see your plume and raise you "Ou snot les nedges Danton?". PLANET Zog, not King Zog! (Dummy). Finally, how did you know Hattie Jacques was my favourite perversion........?

[John Little]

The last was easy - it's a generational thing to do with uniforms and starchy aprons.

As to Zog - well he's deid now but you could have been going to see him on the island where he lives with Elvis, Marilyn and Tupac...

La tete de Danton ont separe de son corps!

But I bet he liked ham sandwiches with Maille au Bastille.

[Torvaig]

What has the ham been cured of?