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squidge
21-Jul-02, 23:50
Warning
Jenny Joseph


When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

See what i mean!!!

Anonymous
22-Jul-02, 02:52
Ye Go Girl :lol: ...

ye are NOT alone :D

DrSzin
22-Jul-02, 11:18
Sounds like the woman who lives two doors along from me...

On the other hand, I must have had 10 sausages at my son's birthday party yesterday. What's the big deal? :lol: :lol:

Yeah, go for it, Ms S! :cool:

But there is NO WAY I would ever put sugar on lettuce. YEEEEEEEEEUK!!

monkey
22-Jul-02, 15:45
... make up for the sobriety of my youth ...

Squidge dear,
You must NOT have known me back then. But I can assure you that if I were to "make up for the sobriety of my youth" at some point, this world will be in a LOT of trouble... and so will I :evil .

A few people on this site can attest to my innocence-free days of yore. And... I don't think I said that I outgrew those days [lol]

htwood
22-Jul-02, 17:55
You go Girl! Squidge mate, I am wearing purple already. Join the club LOL

squidge
22-Jul-02, 22:10
Wow I went on to delete this post as it was just for the benefit of those who were chatting last night but this is fun so i will leave it lol

Anonymous
22-Jul-02, 23:02
We can wear purple
We can eat sausages
We can gain weight
we can loose weight
we can eat bananas
we can cry
we can smile
we can do ANYTHING our wee heart desires
Cause we are among friends
Friends Love, Help & Support each other

Anonymous
22-Jul-02, 23:32
... make up for the sobriety of my youth ...

Squidge dear,
You must NOT have known me back then. But I can assure you that if I were to "make up for the sobriety of my youth" at some point, this world will be in a LOT of trouble... and so will I :evil .

A few people on this site can attest to my innocence-free days of yore. And... I don't think I said that I outgrew those days [lol]
Mr Monkey,

If you mean sobriety as "calmness; coolness; seriousness; gravity", as per the Webster Dictionary definition, then please pull the other leg....it's got bells on it!!! [lol]

As your classmate in primary school, over a period of a few years, I can attest to the fact that you were ALWAYS IN A LOT OF TROUBLE BACK THEN!!!!!! :p [lol] :lol: :p [lol] :lol: :p

As you well know, you were mischievous and liked to joke around. As a result, you got in trouble with the teachers! You were very smart, but your hands smarted too, 'cause you were always "getting the strap" for misbehaviour!!! :roll:

And as for you having outgrown those days, I'm really not so sure about that! :p :lol: [lol]

Anonymous
22-Jul-02, 23:44
We can wear purple
We can eat sausages
We can gain weight
we can loose weight
we can eat bananas
we can cry
we can smile
we can do ANYTHING our wee heart desires
Cause we are among friends
Friends Love, Help & Support each other
That was lovely, WeeGili! Well said! :cool: Och, ye've brought a wee tear o' joy til ma een, so ye hev!

monkey
23-Jul-02, 05:16
... make up for the sobriety of my youth ...

Squidge dear,
You must NOT have known me back then. But I can assure you that if I were to "make up for the sobriety of my youth" at some point, this world will be in a LOT of trouble... and so will I :evil .

A few people on this site can attest to my innocence-free days of yore. And... I don't think I said that I outgrew those days [lol]
Mr Monkey,

If you mean sobriety as "calmness; coolness; seriousness; gravity", as per the Webster Dictionary definition, then please pull the other leg....it's got bells on it!!! [lol]

As your classmate in primary school, over a period of a few years, I can attest to the fact that you were ALWAYS IN A LOT OF TROUBLE BACK THEN!!!!!! :p [lol] :lol: :p [lol] :lol: :p

As you well know, you were mischievous and liked to joke around. As a result, you got in trouble with the teachers! You were very smart, but your hands smarted too, 'cause you were always "getting the strap" for misbehaviour!!! :roll:

And as for you having outgrown those days, I'm really not so sure about that! :p :lol: [lol]

Was that not what I said in MY post? I said if my youth were to be considered sober, then wait till I get over that sobriety, and again, innocence-free days? Surely this is an admission of my *head hangs in shame* guilt from our days mis-spent in the primary school classroom.

Must you rub it in all over again? :eek: :p

Someone hand me a banana so I can whack LadyK over her delicate noggin. Who the h*** cares if I get in trouble?

DrSzin
23-Jul-02, 12:06
We can wear purple
We can eat sausages
We can gain weight
we can loose weight
we can eat bananas
we can cry
we can smile
we can do ANYTHING our wee heart desires
Cause we are among friends
Friends Love, Help & Support each other
That was lovely, WeeGili! Well said! :cool: Och, ye've brought a wee tear o' joy til ma een, so ye hev!
Aye, so it was! :cool:

And no mention of sugar on lettuce; there's hope for the wee lassie yet....

DrSzin
23-Jul-02, 12:10
Someone hand me a banana so I can whack LadyK over her delicate noggin. Who the h*** cares if I get in trouble?
Oi you! BEHAVE, Mr Monkey!! Leave Lady K alone, or we'll all be after you with a bunch of extra-hard green unripe bananas which can do untold damage to your anatomy! :evil :evil [lol] [lol] :p :cool:

Anonymous
23-Jul-02, 12:32
Aaaah! Sir Lancelot Szin to the rescue!!! Thankyou, my gallant knight!!!!!!:D

May I suggest PLANTAIN bananas! They are EXTRA-EXTRA hard big green bananas!!! :eek: [lol] :eek: [lol] :eek:

I think they will do the job more efficiently!!!!!! [lol] :lol: [lol] :lol: [lol]

DrSzin
23-Jul-02, 12:44
Aye, Mr Monkey, you'll be wearing purple all over without the need for any clothing! :evil [lol] :lol: [lol] :lol:

We're a peaceful lot around here, let's keep it that way. :roll: [lol] :lol: [lol] :lol: [lol]

Anonymous
23-Jul-02, 15:10
Eeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Scuse me
This thread was started to so we could ALL support & love friends
me thinks Szin,K & Monkey too, if he is so inclined, should maybe be posting "their wee tiff" on the Fantasy thread [lol] :Razz [lol] :Razz [lol] :Razz [lol] :Razz

DrSzin
23-Jul-02, 15:43
Hey, WeeGi, I was only trying to restore the peace!

Besides, I thought you believed in all that "eye for an eye" nonsense! :roll: :p :D

htwood
23-Jul-02, 17:42
Sigh......another thoughtful thread turned into the Kay and Szin show......

DrSzin
23-Jul-02, 17:58
Yawn.....

htwood
23-Jul-02, 19:18
Szin, ye must be ill, its the first time you didnt use those smiley icons
Take two aspirin and get back to yer fantasy pages lol

Anonymous
23-Jul-02, 20:26
2 Assprin? :evil I believe there is at least two involved ;)

but my warning to my friends, which this thread is SUPPOSED to be about, (caring & supporting)....is

JUST SAY NO!!!!!!!!!!! :Razz

monkey
23-Jul-02, 20:36
Sorry folks but I feel attacked here. I know this thread was intended as a follow-on to a private conversation and 'spread' from there, and I sincerely wish our threads would remain somewhat in context.

However, Kay... you mis-read my original post on this thread. I claimed to have been a wild brat when I was a kid, and I was.... you apparently thought I had said the opposite, though why I would do that when I know that you knew me beats me.

When I tried to set you straight again, I received a tirade of nonsense and gibberish from you and Szin... I'm still not quite sure why.

Kay... I'm hurt...
Squidge... I'm truly sorry if I was involved in the hijacking of this thread... sincere apologies.
Szin... why on earth are YOU involved in this.... I feel like asking you to kiss my headache pills.

nuff said... Someone hand me a banana and I'll head back to my tree.

squidge
23-Jul-02, 22:11
Hey folks - dont get ariated!!

You should all know by now that squidge goes where the message takes her lol and she doesnt have an offended bone in her squidgey body lol.

The Jenny Joseph Poem appeals to me because it illustrates perfectly the confines of today and the hopes of tomorrow - without a rhyming couplet or iambic pentameter anywhere!!

Perhaps others of you could share the poems or things which give you a smile or strike a note of truth somewhere but - please not too staid - I like a smile too. Not so keen on those unripe bananas though

lots of love from me

monkey
23-Jul-02, 22:27
O love! O fire! Once he drew
With one long kiss my whole soul thro'
My lips, as sunlight drinketh dew.

Tennyson

squidge
23-Jul-02, 22:40
Ohhhhhhhh to be kissed like that - sighs -

O love! O fire! Once he drew
With one long kiss my whole soul thro'
My lips, as sunlight drinketh dew.

Tennyson

...Grow, live, die looking on his face,
Die, dying clasp'd in his embrace.

Ahhhhhhhh wonderful Fatima

monkey
24-Jul-02, 00:38
The kiss that steals my heart is yet
To be. And when arrives that sweet event,
Into her arms I'll melt; my angel, heaven sent.

Not Tennyson :lol:

Anonymous
24-Jul-02, 07:29
To A Kiss

Humid seal of soft affections,
Tend'rest pledge of future bliss,
Dearest tie of young connections,
Love's first snow-drop, virgin kiss.
Speaking silence, dumb confession,
Passion's birth, and infants' play,
Dove-like fondness, chaste concession,
Glowing dawn of brighter day.
Sorrowing joy, adieu's last action,
Ling'ring lips, -- no more to join!
What words can ever speak affection
Thrilling and sincere as thine!

Robert Burns

acameron
24-Jul-02, 11:00
There was a young lady from leeds..........................

Opps - I think Im in the wrong thread

Sorry Folks

DrSzin
24-Jul-02, 11:05
Szin, ye must be ill, its the first time you didnt use those smiley icons
Take two aspirin and get back to yer fantasy pages lol
[lol]
Is that better?

I spy red-hat-flavour humour here. Long may ye grow old outrageously.

Dinna worry, HT, some of you guys know how to get rid of me in a hurry -- there's way way too much poetry in here fer me to hang aboot. All that poemy stuff brings me oot in a rash.

Mr Monkey, sorry for hurting yer feelings, but ye really shouldna go aroond threatening folk wi' bananas. Ach, ye're an awfy sensitive wee soul, so ye are. Take a coupla WeeGili's assprins till soothe ee pain.

Back on topic...
Keep on smiling Squidgy -- the good guys always win in the end.

Anonymous
24-Jul-02, 11:48
Mr Monkey, I'm sorry for hurting yer feelings, too. :( That was not my intent! I did indeed misread your post of 22 July 14.45. For some reason, I read your "innocent-free days of yore" as "innocent days of yore". I will slice the plantain bananas up, and fry them for you. Will e-mail them in time for your lunch. Just add a sprinkling of salt, and enjoy! :D

And Ms Squidge, sorry for getting off topic in your thread! Glad to hear you're not offended, though! :)

Anonymous
24-Jul-02, 13:44
There was a young lady from leeds..........................

Opps - I think Im in the wrong thread

Sorry Folks

Good old ac.... always bringing a smile to ma wee face, when poetry started appearing here I also immeadiately thought along the same lines [lol] [lol] [lol] it must be Stroma Road humour :Razz :Razz

monkey
24-Jul-02, 18:17
:lol: Fried bananas and ice cream for dessert last night at the Calypso Cafe... my fav. Oh... maybe that should go in the fav foods thread. But it sure is comfort food, so I hope it's not too far off the rails for this topic.

I'll be good and stay focused here.... we do tend to stray in our thoughts, don't we? This thread is a Kay Szin point. [lol] <--- notice the smiley.

OK you two... thanks for the good words. I'm a short-memory primate.

DrSzin
24-Jul-02, 19:03
This thread is a Kay Szin point. [lol] <--- notice the smiley.
.
IR [lol] FL at that one! How long did it take you to construct it Mr M?

Anonymous
24-Jul-02, 19:28
I have to admit that is very clever, too, Mr M! :lol: You were a clever chiel when we were in primate, er.... I mean *primary* school, as weel! :D

DrSzin
24-Jul-02, 23:43
OK let's have a shot at cheery cheeky limericks to make everyone smile:

There once was a woman called squidge
Who couldn't stay outta the fridge
She found a new diet
Decided to try it
And now she weighs less than a midge

I once knew a jolly Wee Gili
Who never said anything silly
Wi' a great big banana
She logs on when he canna
And insults DrSzin willy nilly

I have several versions of a Lady K limerick, but still have to pick the best one. It's amazing what you can find to rhyme with New England girl!

Monkey is a bit tougher, especially if you want to keep it clean. Besides, I've already used up all my bananas...

Anonymous
25-Jul-02, 02:18
Howz aboot this for monkey :evil

There was a wee monkey named Mo
Who never knew which way to go
North, South, East or West
Which direction is best?
Forget it... he just stayed on his Po

[lol] :Razz [lol] :Razz [lol] :Razz [lol] :Razz [lol]

Anonymous
25-Jul-02, 02:51
I've made up two limericks, so far! :D

There was a cool doctor called Szin
Who had a real charming grin
He loved Science and Math
And Atoms and Quarks
And said Quantum Theory will win!


There once was a mannie called Monkey
Who played music ever so funky
He danced to the beat
On his two hairy feet
But never liked anything punky!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Anonymous
25-Jul-02, 03:28
Here's another one! :D

Was a mannie called Gentleman Geoff
Who fancied himself as a chef
He made Coq au Vin stew
For which people did queue
And afterwards, nothing was left!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Anonymous
25-Jul-02, 03:50
And yet another! :D I'm on a roll here! [lol]

There once was a Thurso chiel, Angy
With a golf club and ball he was handy
Took on Tiger Woods
He beat him, cool dude
And now Angy's feeling fine dandy!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

DrSzin
25-Jul-02, 10:18
I've made up two limericks, so far! :D

There once was a mannie called Monkey
Who played music ever so funky
He danced to the beat
On his two hairy feet
But never liked anything punky!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Amazing, Lady K -- one of my versions had very similar first, second & fifth lines!
The crude version had an extra letter in the last word of each of lines 2 & 5.

Anonymous
25-Jul-02, 11:13
That is amazing, indeed, Dr Szin! :eek:

I've just composed another limerick:

MadPict's full of vigour and vim
He sure loves to snorkel and swim
He went to the islands
And he wisna smilin'
When a beeg shark nearly caught him!

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

monkey
25-Jul-02, 15:51
The chair of the limerick guild
Has noticed that this thread is filled
With non-rhyming verse,
And he's ordered a hearse
To remove the offenders, once killed.

The verses that caught his attention
Were the ones with a "physical" intention.
Does "math" rhyme with "quarks"
Like Marx, parks or sparks?
Not so, in our current dimension.

And, as for that elegant flunky
The chairman admires his spunk, he
Sticks to his guns
And shows you his buns,
The respect you get from a Monkey!

Anonymous
25-Jul-02, 17:18
The chair of the limerick guild
Has noticed that this thread is filled
With non-rhyming verse,
And he's ordered a hearse
To remove the offenders, once killed.

The verses that caught his attention
Were the ones with a "physical" intention.
Does "math" rhyme with "quarks"
Like Marx, parks or sparks?
Not so, in our current dimension.

OK, is this version better, Mr M? :roll: :p

There was a cool doctor called Szin
Who had a real charming grin
He loved Science and Maths
And Atoms and *laughs*
And said Quantum Theory will win!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

DrSzin
25-Jul-02, 18:04
Another nice one, Mr M! We are most honoured to stand in the warm glow of a truly lucent limerist.

I should, for completeness, however, provide our readers with the version which, by a strange quirk of nature, reflects the very marginally dominant pronounciation amongst practitioners of the partonic sciences:

The verses that caught his attention
Were the ones with a "physical" convention
Does "math" rhyme with "quarks"
Like corks, forks or torques
Not so, in our current dimension.

You can find some poems with a similar physical flavour at:

http://ppp.phys.strath.ac.uk/

But keep away from those naughty Quark Sisters! :eek:

monkey
25-Jul-02, 18:24
I think we should have an award
Our honours to rightly accord.
Big Brother may vanish
But they never will banish
The "MBs", for the best message board.

monkey
25-Jul-02, 18:57
And what of the lady from Stroma
Whose name cannot be a misnomer
The Gili is Wee
Just look and you'll see
(You may have to tweak with the chroma).

I am sad to relate she is too sick
To listen to more refined music
For Morrison's voice
Is her tenor of choice
I couldna go into her hoose, ick.

DrSzin
26-Jul-02, 11:37
Just found this one on the web:

Quark-Dork Symmetry Group
by Kay R. Devicci©

When we physicists talk about quarks,
And "sleptons," "sneutrinos," and "squarks,"
We shouldn't be stunned
When the Congress won't fund
Our big projects - they think that we're dorks!

(Mr M -- I would guess it came from the same site as the ones you sent me recently.)

Getting back on topic..

Take a look at:

http://www.redhatsociety.com/

There's some great stuff in the Red Hat Society Imperium! Maybe we chiels should club together and buy some pressies for the ladies. When's ya birthday squidge? [lol]

Kenn
27-Jul-02, 02:10
I have found the fairies' country
And I now know where they dwell,
For I rose one misty morning
And they had laid on me a spell.
Till there before my wond'ring eyes
I saw their shining households rise.

In the morning sun's pale glowing
Gilding every bush and tree,
There were flashing,flaunting bowers
Where the fairy-folk live free,
And floating with the sunbound haze
I saw aerial pathways blaze.

To my half-awakened vision
Every scintillating thread
Has its fairy population
Which at my approach had fled.
'Tis said that fairies are no more,
But fairyland that morn I saw.


written by F.I Shields

We could all do with a little majic in our lives

DrSzin
29-Jul-02, 12:19
Just been looking at all the fantastic piccies from Wick Gala. Keep up the good work, Bill!

Spent ages looking for one of a woman with a red hat, purple gloves & purple boa, but to no avail. Can anyone help?

Anonymous
08-Aug-02, 07:48
OK let's have a shot at cheery cheeky limericks to make everyone smile:

I have several versions of a Lady K limerick, but still have to pick the best one. It's amazing what you can find to rhyme with New England girl!
OK, Dr Szin, I've been in New England for a week and a half now, and I'm STILL waiting for that limerick about me! :roll:

I think you need to stop ogling the Gala Week piccies, and get on with it, you Limey!!! ;) :p :D [lol]

DrSzin
08-Aug-02, 15:42
Ouch! That last pun was worse than one of Monkey's...

OK:

I once knew a New England Girl

Er, it's been a while, I've forgotten what comes next!

I'll get back to you on that one....

Anonymous
08-Aug-02, 15:59
Phew! Glad I've finally managed to tear you away from the Week Gala Week piccies, and the Thirsa Gala Week pics, too, Dr S! :p :D [lol]

I'm looking forward to that limerick about me! :D And remember, it doesn't have to be about a New England girl. I was brought up in Caithness, after all! :cool: I also told you where I was born, didn't I? Okay, get yer thinking cap on, Dr Limey!!! ;) :p :D

golach
15-Aug-02, 16:04
:eek: Doh !! I feel like Homer wi aal this poetry an stuff, Homer Simpson no Homer the Greek cheil, ehh whit has "Rhyming couplet or iambic pentameter" got till do wi making love till yer neighbour,
Enlighten me somebody Pleez
Golach
ps I want till be somebodies neighbour

golach
15-Aug-02, 16:09
[disgust] oops I got it wrong again its no make love, its jist love thy neighbour,
sorry Squidge
:lol:

monkey
15-Aug-02, 20:17
When I am an old man I shall wear gel sandals
With socks that almost match, but obviously don't.
And I shall spend my pension on lottery tickets and gifts
And hair gel, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall block the pavement with my power scooter when I'm tired
And people-watch in the shopping center and whistle at the pretty girls
And laugh as my wife points out the cute boys to me
And re-enact the insobriety of my youth.
I shall wear boots when it's sunny
And photograph other people without their permission
And get in everyone's way like my cat Twinkie.

But for now I suppose I'll play the decorous part
And pay my bills and not swear in the street (too loudly)
And set a good example for the children.
We might have friends to dinner but I still won't read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and show up in Caithness on me bike.

squidge
16-Aug-02, 00:36
Oh wow wow wow

What a clever monkey you are. I award you the Caithness.org award for wonderful poems

squidge
16-Aug-02, 00:39
: ehh whit has "Rhyming couplet or iambic pentameter" got till do wi making love till yer neighbour,


Exactly golach - why bother when we do so well without them!!

Anonymous
17-Aug-02, 18:42
I like being older
As now I'm much bolder
Than I was in the days of my youth
I'm not quite so shy
And that ain't no lie
But don't call me long in the tooth!


I accept my middle age
Won't let it be a cage
That traps me, and won't set me free
I'll live for each day
In my own special way
I am Kay, I am woman, I am me!

©Amethyst
22-Aug-02, 10:57
I wasn't chatting the night this was all brought up... (not been chatting much anyway!)

But, that poem you shared with us is cool, squidge! Oh, but I must say, at the ripe old age of 17 (and a half)... uh... I already wear purple! And even if I'm not wearing purple clothing (but yes... I do wear other coloured clothing too!)... I always wear an amethyst either in a necklace (though my amethyst necklace has 4 amethysts in it) or in an ortak ring!

Highlander and You should be able to tell you what I mean :o)

Anyways... does that mean that even though I'm a teenager, I'm also an old lady?