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View Full Version : not really so much a joke. ...to Mr Cameron.



jacko
08-Mar-13, 16:42
Dear Mr Cameron,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them 1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy 100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament and councillors pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances


Also.....
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheelchairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay 600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

changilass
08-Mar-13, 17:31
Really liking the idea of hubby getting a milion just afore christmas, do I still get it too given the fact that hubby has already paid off the mortgage? Also how would this work for self employed?

Pensioners really should be treated with a lot more respect, maybe we could invest whatever is left of our million in some sort of government bonds (that actually have a reasonable return) thus ensuring being looked after in our old age.

Great, back to the days of prison riots.

Do you realise how much you would have to pay prison officers in danger money, that is, if you could find anyone willing to do the job.

Take it you don't believe in rehabilitation?

With regards the cows, cracking idea, but given a cow I don't know about illegal immigrants, but I would just eat it, so no longer traceable.

jacko
08-Mar-13, 22:11
Really liking the idea of hubby getting a milion just afore christmas, do I still get it too given the fact that hubby has already paid off the mortgage? Also how would this work for self employed? ..........(good im happy you like that.)

Pensioners really should be treated with a lot more respect, maybe we could invest whatever is left of our million in some sort of government bonds (that actually have a reasonable return) thus ensuring being looked after in our old age.

Great, back to the days of prison riots. ........A .(so pensioners are going to riot hmmmmm)

Do you realise how much you would have to pay prison officers in danger money, that is, if you could find anyone willing to do the job...( think there d be little danger looking after pensioner s the p/o s would likely welcome the change)

Take it you don't believe in rehabilitation?...........A ( yes actually i do but statisics shows it rarely works on the herdened criminal)

With regards the cows, cracking idea, but given a cow I don't know about illegal immigrants, but I would just eat it, so no longer traceable.
A (well with modern forensic s who know s. )

This was just a funny i forwarded on . Goodness sake s i even set it in the joke section?????? Treat it as the joke it was intended as, But it do s show that the government treats the criminal s better than the pensioners that contributed to society all their working lives.