View Full Version : The Last Post Wins
M Swanson
18-Jan-13, 10:28
Well, the snow that was predicted days ago has finally arrived. It's just over an hour since the blizzard began and there's already a two inch covering. We're not used to dealing with this and everything's ground to a halt and we're all banged-in. So thought this game may cheer things up. :cool:
Who will post the last post?
I'm winning! :D
Sigh, thats the country going into mass panic i guess with all the fluffy stuff blocking their views and clogging up roads.....dunno about your snow and last post but i mailed out 4 packets on Monday, one of which went to Australia and the other 3 to UK addresses. All sent via tracked postage too.....no prizes for guessing which one has been delivered.......and which three haven't...
M Swanson
18-Jan-13, 11:03
Whoops! Sorry Shaggy, I didn't explain the game very well. :( The idea is to post a message, which can be anything at all. For example, my last post was, "I'm winning." You could have gone in and said, "No, you're not," or similar.
Not surprised at the three packets delayed in the post. That's one of the reasons I stopped running an eBay business. Too much hassle.
I'm back in the lead. :D
Here's how we used to deal with snow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl4pJwcE7JI
http://youtu.be/Ho4QGBUAABA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl4pJwcE7JI)
M Swanson
18-Jan-13, 12:24
I am now Shaggy. England 1 - Scotland 0. :D
Whoops! Sorry for putting this thread in the wrong place.
M Swanson
21-Jan-13, 13:29
No, you're not! Take that! ;)
Oooooo watch out for The Flood!
??????
M Swanson
21-Jan-13, 19:44
:D Guess I'll just have to have a little 'Patience.' :lol:
I'm winning.
Actually, neither of you are winning. There is a wee shop run by a dwarf called Malcolm, he sells loads of things that you'd never believe, for instance, Kirkby grips and a tasty selection of jams made from the fruit of zbangayong tree. Oh, and a rather natty line in Icelandic sweaters. If you're looking for obscure items he's likely to have them in stock. I once found a sock that matched one I lost in the wash back on February 17th 1983!
I remember the date clearly because that was the day it dawned on me how much of an Adonis I am, I finally understood why women swooned at the mere mention of my name. And so there I was, just casually walking along the street when a Ford Cortina drove past, hitting a pothole as it went along, the result was a wheel trim fell away, bounced once on the road then took off into the air, flying through the air like an alien spaceship, or a lethal weapon in this case because it was headed for a group of kids playing nearby. I had seconds to react, and so took off like a rocket and covered 100 meters in 6 seconds, caught it with my teeth and landed in a massive puddle, but at least the kids were saved. Of course, the mothers seeing all this came rushing forward to thank me and some seeing who it was began feeling faint, others passing me slips of paper with their phone numbers. But being a gentleman I declined their advances, anyway I had more important things on my mind, I was dirty from the puddle so had to head home to change, hence the sock disappearing in the wash.
How that sock ended up with Malcolm I'll never know, ask him how he gets the stuff and all he does is give a knowing wink. It's an Aladdin's cave of obscure items, I can recommend it, however I must warn you, when entering the shop there is a protocol that MUST be adhered to. First, you bow to the Flaxen bird that sits on a perch to the left just inside the door, (I don't know how that perch survives out of water), and then you go downstairs to be greeted by Malcolm. He'll put both hands on your shoulders, you must do the same to him, then you touch foreheads for 3 seconds, he'll then allow you to browse the items.
You'll know if you're in the right place because the shop is called The Last Post.
I believe I'm winning :-)
M Swanson
22-Jan-13, 09:23
:lol:[lol]
Priceless Jox. I salute you. LOL
Pity you're not winning though! Farewell cruel world. LOL
Neither of you are winning!
Don't jump!!!!
M Swanson
22-Jan-13, 15:15
:D You've convinced me, L. I shall stay strong. :cool:
Can't speak for our friend though ..... "He's a jumping Jox flash. He's a gas. He's a gas! :lol:
Beat that.
Pleased to hear that!
Send for the gas man ... there must be a leak!
Think I might have :D
M Swanson
22-Jan-13, 18:29
:lol: Wrong L. And here's the proof. :D
Where's the Corgi man when you need him? L's gorra burst pipe! ;)
MS ahead by a length.
Ah, so it is a burst water pipe!
L swimming to the rescue!
M Swanson
23-Jan-13, 19:44
It was. Man the stopcock!
Save me, L :)
I'm now two lengths ahead. :Razz
thinking i may be in the lesd
M Swanson
24-Jan-13, 00:23
Guess you thought wrong Jacko! :D
'So cherish not my son.'
I see that the previous post was last night @ 23.23 - can I now lay claim and collect my prize as this being the much sought after "LAST POST" !! :-)
Water must have affected the clock ... take it to be repaired! :lol:
Dagnamit !!!.............
M Swanson
24-Jan-13, 18:17
Yeap! Get back in the queue Calish. No prize for you today. ;)
I'm taking the clock for Geppetto to repair.
Just like Pinocchio I tells lies! :D
Chase me! I'm ahead again.
Your nose is growing!
Come on Charlie! :D
M Swanson
25-Jan-13, 10:27
'Charlie is my darling, my darling ...............'
Find your own man, L. [lol]
L's back in the queue. :Razz
Think I'll go over the sea to Skye ..
Care to join me M?
:lol: [lol] :lol:
M Swanson
25-Jan-13, 10:35
:lol: Not unless Charlie's going. Two's company, L. [lol]
Shame you're not invited. :lol:
I'll gatecrash then M!!
... and won't share any of my grog!!
M Swanson
25-Jan-13, 10:40
:lol: I've changed my mind. Charlie and I are over.
I'll settle for the grog. Cheers! :lol:
Decided to introduce prohibition ... so it's speakeasies now!
Follow that M!
M Swanson
25-Jan-13, 11:07
Meanie! I'm getting back with Charlie. He brews his own. :Razz
Chuck that woman overboard. :lol:
Get back in line, L. :)
Thrown me a lifebelt .........................
Pull to rope in M!
M Swanson
25-Jan-13, 19:55
Yo-ho-heave-ho!
The sea shall not have her. :lol:
Charlie's puckering up and ready to give the kiss of life. Hold on, L. :eek:
Have I won?
Kiss of Life from Charlie! :eek:
Run for the hills ....
I lead the way!
M Swanson
26-Jan-13, 14:23
Well, if my Charlie's not to your taste. I'll try and get
Brad Pitt to stand in for him. How about that, L? :lol:
Run? I'm over the hill, at my age! [lol]
M crawling into the lead.
Mmmm Brad Pit or Charlie ... decisions, decisions.
As long as you don't fall down and need vinegar and brown paper!
L rolls into the lead :D
M Swanson
28-Jan-13, 12:10
Climb every mountain, L.
How do you solve a problem like Laguna? :lol:
M storming into the lead. ;)
Getting tired climbing M :D
Get out the calculator and you might do it!
This all adds up to winning! ;)
M Swanson
29-Jan-13, 09:59
Take a break, take a KitKat, L. :D
Whilst she's having a chomp ..........
M steals the lead. :cool:
Cutting down on chocolate M ;)
Jogging off to lose some calories ...
L races ahead :D
M Swanson
29-Jan-13, 10:14
Wash your mouth out, L. :D
Big is beautiful and so is a a box of After Eights. :lol:
M rolling herself to the front. ;)
She was but I'm just sticking it out there for the moment....
Wash away the glue and get going again Jox.
Making do and mending ...
Pick up that if you can ......
M Swanson
30-Jan-13, 12:42
Picking it up and running. :D
L's dropped the baton!
M to the rescue. Going like the clappers. :lol:
Sending out bloodhounds to track you down M ....
Watch out for that cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffff!!!
M Swanson
30-Jan-13, 14:43
I won't be taken alive, L. Call that dog off! :D
It's been good knoooooooooooooooooooooowing yooooooooooooooooooou! :eek:
M climbing up the cliff and regaining the lead. :Razz
Waiting at the top for you M!!! :eek:
Let's shake hands and make up ... we could always go for a drinkie poo ..
Mind you, you will have to follow me :D
M Swanson
30-Jan-13, 18:47
M shakes hands with L. :D
I like following everyone into the bar. As you're in the chair, I'll have a lager and lime, please.
Throwing the drink down my neck and heading for the door. :cool:
Messy girl! You missed drank too fast and your drink ended up on the floor!
M reaches for a mop before racing into the lead .......
M Swanson
31-Jan-13, 12:20
L slipped on the lager puddle on the floor. Poor girl! :D
Shame about the limp. Is she out of the race?
M leap-frogging over the competition. :lol:
Who's limp? Certainly not L!!!
Over the hurdles goes L .... and right into the lead again :D
M Swanson
31-Jan-13, 20:10
I know you're just being brave, L. :lol:
You'll have to go higher than a hurdle!
M pole-vaulting her way to victory. :D
L takes shears to M's pole and she falls short of her target! :eek:
L races off on her motorbike ....
Roaring into the lead! :D
M Swanson
01-Feb-13, 08:10
Holy heart attack! Kapow! Take that L. [lol]
L gets a puncture. Off the road, for you.
M zooms ahead in her Jag. :D
The thistle hurts M so she jumps off ....
allowing L on her broomstick to fly into the lead :lol:
M Swanson
01-Feb-13, 12:55
And lands on L. Splat! :D
:lol: Not for long. M casts a spell on the wicked witch of Caithness! Mayday! Mayday!
Move over and know when you're beaten. :D
Harry Potter races to L's rescue and breaks the spell.
L and Harry race off in the old Anglia Car - along with Ron Weasley.
You can't see them for dust M!
M Swanson
02-Feb-13, 20:26
Voldemort waves his magic wand and ........
The Ford Anglia crashes into the Whomping Willow. :D
M accelerates away from the carnage. Vroom! Vroom! :cool:
L jumps into her french car .... Va Va Voom ...................
and M trails behind putt putt putt ......
M Swanson
04-Feb-13, 19:41
Clever move by L but ...............
She's run out of petrol. Start pushing girl, whilst I ........
Board the high speed train. Choo! Choo! :cool:
Miles ahead and looking how far behind L is! :D
Ahhhhhh but as it is a deisel car, I have no problem gettting to the heliport and flying over you :D
Saw you looking out of the window and waved ... but way out of sight now
Weeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeee
M Swanson
04-Feb-13, 20:49
Flight of birds in helicopters flight path.
Major Tom to ground control. Mayday! Mayday! :lol:
M rushes ahead; not daring to look behind her. Poor L. :(
L grabs a passing dragon and flies onwards and upwards
Quick burst of flames at M as they pass [lol]
Then off into the sunset ..................
M Swanson
05-Feb-13, 11:47
L's into the sunset, never to be seen again? :~(
Fire engine arrives and saves the day. :cool:
M cadges a lift.
Sirens blaring M takes the lead again! NeeNaw! NeeNaw! :lol:
L calls in the help of the Scotland squad!!!!!!
Off down the park they charge and score a try!!!!
Then it is off the park and down the tunnel and into the lead again!
M Swanson
05-Feb-13, 15:08
Desperate measures, L. :D
Two minutes to go and England are 15 points ahead.
Is it all over? It is now! Eng-er-land! :cool:
Tunnel blocked by landslide. M steals the lead! :D
.. then they discover that the scoreboard is wrong! Scotland won by 3 points :D
Engerlish fans head for home whilst Scottish fans and L lead the way!
M Swanson
05-Feb-13, 20:00
Foul Ref. Send 'em all off. We was robbed. :D
M jumps on the back of St. Georges' dragon.
Flies over L and shakes a fist! Eng...er....land ahead where they belong.:cool:
L rallies the Glasgow Warriors and they hotly pursue M and her dragon.
A quick bucket of water puts the dragon's lights out and they are overtaken!
Glasgow Warriors go ......... yells L as they charge ahead!
M Swanson
06-Feb-13, 17:50
Fiendishly clever these Scots. ;)
M dismounts and hails a dragon taxi.
Can't see L and her Glasgow Warriors for dust. Zooooom! :D
Glasgow Warriors forward!!! .............
L uses her ingenuity:Razz and is over the hills and far away well before M and her dragon taxi! :D
M Swanson
06-Feb-13, 20:19
Harley slams on the brakes. It's time for a scrum. :D
Shoots L through the window.
M swerves to avoid her and gallops into the lead. :Razz Gee up Neddy!
L leaps onto Nijinsky who has been hiding in Caithness all along
... and easily passes poor old Neddy who is fading fast :D
M Swanson
08-Feb-13, 00:32
M on Neddy Red Rum nudges Nij and L into a ditch.
People cheer them on. They recognise a winner! :D
M crosses the tape and charges onwards. Whoooooosh.
But the tape becomes tangled round RR's legs and down he goes ... M and all ....
L comandeers a McLaren Racing car and roars off down the road leaving M spluttering in the dust ...
M Swanson
08-Feb-13, 18:00
M picks herself up and dusts herself down before ....
Thumbing a lift from a Boeing 747.
L is a speck on the horizon. M's the winner .... fly me! :D
L is a speck on the horizon .. ahead of M in a supersonic jet .......
M Swanson
08-Feb-13, 21:13
SuperJet goes into a tail-spin and L's dizzy, before ...
Grabbing a parachute and jumping for her life.
M looks up and hopes she'll make it, :(
But the race must go on! This is war. :lol:
L lands in a tree - ouch!!!!!
She manages to get herself out of that sticky situation and commandeers a passing police bike.
Pedalling like mad and hurtling down a huge hill she manages to overtake M who is repairing a puncture!
M Swanson
09-Feb-13, 14:47
M watches L overtake her in an old Morris Minor squad car.
Evening all! :D
Nee-Naw and L trundle on at 30 mph.
M jumps aboard a passing camel and gallops into the lead. :cool:
But singing Flower of Scotland at the top of her voice
L is carried past M on a wave of euphoria after Scotland beat Italy
Up up and away :D
M Swanson
10-Feb-13, 11:09
M looks up and there's L floating on a cloud ......
singing away, but the wind drops and she crashes to the ground. :eek:
Poor L. Send for Dr Zhivago. He'll save her.
Reassured M and her camel, hop into an air balloon and blazes ahead. :cool:
But the blaze bursts the hot air balloon and M and her camel fall down and down and down and down ... :eek:
but land in a snow drift so all is well. :D
L gets out her skis and tears down the hill and into the lead ..................... ;)
M Swanson
10-Feb-13, 15:22
Phew! That was a close call, L. :eek:
Is that L I see, trundling leisurely down the hill on her skis?
M and her camel hail a passing jetski and bury L in snow, as they roar ahead. :D
But the roar turned out to be an escaped lion which frightened the life out of M's poor camel :eek:
L got out her inflatable tobogan and crossed the finishing line, beating everyone to the gold medal ..
then off she went, medal in hand, leading the way on her brand new motorbike!
M Swanson
10-Feb-13, 15:39
But camel fainted in fright, right on top of lion, killing him stone dead. :eek:
But it wasn't the finishing line. M had put one up as a decoy.
Snatching the medal from L's clasp, M and camel whizzed off on their souped-up Harley D. :cool:
L jumped up and down in rage ... causing an avalanche which blocked the road!!
M crashed into the snow and got well and truly stuck!
L ran past laughing and, climbing over the blockage, ran off down the road ...............
M Swanson
10-Feb-13, 15:48
Cheat! I was robbed ref. [evil] Send L off.
A tractor came to the rescue and dug poor M and her camel out.
M grabbed a pole and vaulted over the laughing L.
What's it like only being second L? :lol:
Seond to none M, second to none :lol:
L pulled out an axe and whacked the pole - M and her camel shot off in the wrong direction and L retook the lead!
M Swanson
15-Feb-13, 00:04
Blimey! I arrived just in the nick of time. L nearly nicked the crown. :lol:
M zoomed back on course and ......
Shoved L aside. Splat! M back in the driving seat. :D
L plays the game n spreads nails on the road .... Bang ... Puncture!
He ha ha ... M has no spare tyre ......
L grabs a scooter and is off .......
Back in the lead. :)
M Swanson
16-Feb-13, 18:37
M thumbs a lift from a Challenger tank.
Follow that scooter and fire on sight! :D
L dives into a hedge for cover, as ......
M thunders past. Give it up L. :lol:
Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeduuuuuuuum cries L as she returns from Engerland
A tank is no match for a well bred haggis .............
L and the haggis flash past the slow tank .........
and back into the lead ................
M Swanson
17-Feb-13, 17:39
:lol:
Cry God for Harry, cries M ...........
As she arms herself to the teeth with Yorkshire puds and Cornish pasties. :D
Direct hit on L and her haggis. Come on you puds.
Chomping her pastie M hurls gravy over the fallen L as she passes by. :Razz
L washes off the gravy with best malt whisky and hiccups her way over the hills and far away ...
M is left devastated and thirsty .... Zummerzet cider is no match to Whisky!!!!
Hiccup, Hiccup, and off we go into the lead
Excuse me . . . . I do believe one is now in the lead . . .;)
Cherokee ... too polite for her own good!
Laguna barges her out of the way and is off again...............
Laguna leads the field :D
M Swanson
18-Feb-13, 17:51
Poor Cherokee. Cut down in her prime. :eek:
M aims her boomerang at L and hits her on the bonce,
L rubs the burmp on her head, whilst I ..........
Fly past on the wings of a dove. :)
OK... no more Mrs Nice Girl !
Got into my private jet and have just flown past M Swanson on her dove, LOL ! Tee Hee Hee !
The eagle has landed! Or at least C's private jet has - seagull in the engine!
Meanwhile L's eagle makes short work of M's dove (yum yum) and glides on, and on, and on, and on ......
In the lead again :D
M Swanson
18-Feb-13, 19:27
Bad luck C. L's eagle has gobbled me dove. Brute! :~(
M loads her catapult and thwap! Feather's everywhere.
Off dashes M on the back of Jonah the whale.
Gidee up Jonah ..... we're winning. :cool:
L decides on stealth ......................
and hijacks a passing submarine ...............
silently she glides up behind Jonah the whale ............
WHOOSH ........
she fires a torpedo which scares Jonah half to death and off he swims, as fast as he can, in the wrong direction!!!
He he he .... onwards glides L in her submarine ... silently, swiftly .......
in the lead!
Ok, I'm spitting feathers here, literally....cough,cough cough !!M
Just noticed L in her submarine, so I'm going to....Mmmmmmm not sure yet how to blast her out the water !
Ahhh Haaa .....I've just got my hands on a torpedo...... BOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !!!!
L has just left the sea !!
I'm sailing away in my dingy...;)
M Swanson
19-Feb-13, 19:35
:lol:
Cough up L's eagle feathers, C.
She's becoming too overconfident, but ........
Your torpedo has blasted her over the Moon.
Will she ever find her way back to Earth?
Or is she out of the race for glory. Ground control to Major L.
Meanwhile .......... C's dingy is no match for M's jet propelled sieve.
Woman overboard! Sharks at 10 0'clock. :eek:
M speeds back into the lead, where she belongs. Vroooooooom! :lol:
L's torpedo lands in a snow drift in the Cairngorms .....
phew, soft landing!
Where are that rogue pair - M and C???
L jumps on a snow mobile and races down towards the fleeing pair!
One giant leap and she is up up and away and off in the lead again!
Just saw L trying to gauge the massive snow drift on the A9 at......Portgower :eek: :eek:
Her wee snow mobile wasn't up to moving forwards.....
I can overtake quickly on my ski's, cos I'm not scared !! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee......catch me if you can !! :lol:
C hit a patch of mud and shot, head over heels, into the sea at Portgower!
Yelling "watch out for vampires!!" L raced past C and jumped onto the back of a friendly stag.
With M no-where in sight L raced on and on ... and well into the lead!
Just caught you L at the "Ord" WOW ! L was going at some speed on the stag !! Deer me !
The fog mustv've blinded your Stag !!:roll:
I've come outta the sea with a bitta "weed" roond ma shoulders, but; hey I'm off again and heading towards Wick...:D
M Swanson
20-Feb-13, 00:00
M was hiding at Scarf Rock and watched L tumble from her stag. Crunch!
C's legs became tangled in the 'weed,' and she never made it to Wick. Shame!
M revved up her witches broom and laughing, flew over the carnage.
Hubble, rubble, toil and trouble, I'm ahead, I've burst their bubble. :D
...but L got up and fired a rocket at M's broom - which burst into flames
he he he cackled L as she boarded the fast ferry to Orkney
Leaving M and C fuming on the quayside :D
M Swanson
20-Feb-13, 15:11
Dastardly plot, L. This is war! :lol:
M & C join forces and jump on two passing dolphins, who .......
Cause a tidal wave that scuppers the Orkney ferry.
How will L survive? :~(
M & C say a quick prayer and chuck L a lifebelt, before ...
The dynamic duo on their dolphins surge ahead. :cool:
Doc says that L will survive....thank goodness !
Me and M are happily onto our dolphins fins....:eek:
Oh...OOOPS.....poor M just got struck by a passing sea-turtle and was knocked off her dolphin !!
Guess that takes Little 'ol Me into the lead. I'm heading for the Shetland Islands (BTW) cos my OH is there and I'm missing him :(
Surely no one would want to "pass" me on such a devoted journey.... :( (looking for comfort here !! LOL !)
M Swanson
20-Feb-13, 19:50
Don't let C creep under your defences, L. It's all a ploy!
She should be home, darning the OH's socks, filling his pipe with baccy and polishing his shoes .....
Not skinny dipping with dolphins! Give her both barrels, L :lol:
That told her, M. Whilst you're doing that I'll sneak ahead. :cool:
OK C, you keep heading for Shetland ... it's totally in the wrong direction :D
I will head off M by throwing fish to her dolphin ;)
I grab a passing shark ... let's see you come near me now ..
Mwahahahaha
Yep, you're right there L ... I was going in the wrong direction ... OH left Shetland late last night as is heading West !! :eek:
Sorry L, didn't you notice that your shark has false teeth, oh how I laugh . . . . tee hee hee hee !!
See that million pound yacht on the horizon, just left of you? Well I'm sitting on that drinking champagne . . .this is the life.
Have you passed M yet? :cool:
M Swanson
21-Feb-13, 20:22
Never fear C. As long as it's forward, but behind me, you can go in any direction. :cool:
Shame about sharks' gnashers. My alligator will see that pair off. Poor L. :~(
That's no yacht you're sitting in. It's an old rust bucket and my bazooka has it in its sights.
Booooom! M and Alli snap and snarl their way into the lead. :D
Alligator ??????? You KNOW how terrified I am of them M !!!!!!
That's really dirty tactics [evil]:eek:
I really thought I was drinking champagne....turns out to be fizzy lemonade and ... yes M, it IS a rust bucket.
Please don't tell L though !
Oooohhhhhh, does this mean I'm leading (BURRPPPPPP) - excuse me - fizzy pop does that to me ! :Razz
M Swanson
22-Feb-13, 10:30
Toughen up C. There's no prize for coming second. Where's your Scots' courage? :D
M slams her alligator into top gear and not finding a trace of L .........
Or the drunk C
Sticks two fingers in the air and thunders off into the far distance. :lol:
Unfortunately for M her two fingers went straight into a electrical socket ...........
zap, ouch!!!! M's hair standing on end!!!
C still thinks she has been drinking champagne and is fast asleep!
L has reached shore and is heading back down the A9 on her Harley Davidson ... well in the lead!
Who; where; why; when .....
Oh, gosh, yes I remember it well . . . the champagne . . . (Hic !!)
Just saw L on her wee scooter, think it was all of 50cc power !
M have you survived the massive electrical shock ?? :eek: :eek:
When I arrived at Scrabster, Steven's lorries offered me a lift, how kind !
Just passed L on her wee scooter (so funny :lol:) trying to find second gear.
Sorry L, just had to pass you in the arctic lorry !!
M Swanson
22-Feb-13, 19:55
M did survive thanks C, mainly due to ..........
Alligator wearing his rubber boots! Phew! Close call Alli.
An albatross swooped earthwards and paused to settle M on his wings, then ....
The pair took off at speed and pelted L and her Old Enfield pop-pop with stale jam sandwiches.
C saw this and swerved off the road in her Artic lorry to avoid the aerial bombardment.
"Take that," shouted M, as she shook albatross's hand before stealing the lead. :cool:
Right, Ms Nice Guy stormed L!
Pull all the stop out ...
Glad I had bribed the albatross to take M back to Orkney ...
.. and as for Artic Lorries - well let's make them Arctic lorries and bury them in snow!
L leaps on the back of a passing high speed train and heads off ... in the lead!
M Swanson
24-Feb-13, 10:07
Is that C I see, digging out her Arctic from the snow, using a knife and fork?
And L waving her Scotland flag from the train?
Whilst they're busy and not paying attention,
M passes them in her Boeing 747. :D
BTW If you pop in L, good luck to Scotland at Murrayfield today. :cool:
Thank you M .... :D
A friendly Leprechaun gives L a dose of magic dust and ...
poof .... of she shoots well into the lead ..
followed by the victorious Scotland team!!!!!!
M Swanson
24-Feb-13, 23:46
Nail-biter at the end and Scotland were a little lucky, but a win's a win! :cool: Well done the lads.
M rubs her lucky rabbits' foot and ..........
The north wind blows away L's magic dust before .......
Picking M up and carrying her at speed over Caithness .....
And onwards. Dry those eyes L. Catch me if you can. :D
... but M is tackled and finds herself in a maul with the guys!!
Takes her quite a while to decide whether to try to escape or just stay there :eek: [lol]
giving L time to get well in the lead :D
M Swanson
26-Feb-13, 00:10
I bet she didn't put up much of a fight, L :lol:
M fluttered her eye-lashes at the guys and they came under her spell and .....
Carried her to a waiting helicopter with the engine running.
She jumped onboard and flew past L on her push bike!
Eng-er-lund. :D
push bike? Supersonic push bike more like!
With a good wind behind her ( ;) ) L hares to the nearest wind farm and turns the turbines to "super fast".
The wind created by them blows M's helicopter waaaaaaay off course
and once again L is in her rightful place - ahead of the rest :D
M Swanson
27-Feb-13, 17:35
L has no pedal power and is thrown to the ground. Thump!
M regains control of her helicopter and ..............
Sticking her tongue out at L, charges towards MacDuff.
C is reported missing, but no time for a search party,
M is unstoppable. Eat ya heart out losers. :lol:
But MacDuff decides he does not want to play and runs away
M's helicopter runs out of fuel and has to make an emergency landing
L thinks about searching for C ... then decides against it
A passing fishing boat offers L a lift to Abderdeen and she is off again ... in the lead
M Swanson
27-Feb-13, 17:59
Meanie MacDuff. I won't play with him again. I won't! :D
The helicopter lands safely and M dashes off to ........
Hitch a lift from a passing elephant.
Giddy up Nellie and we'll overtake L in her coracle. :lol:
M leads the way.
but Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and trundled off to the circus
leaving M high and dry without any tranport!! :lol:
L raced on aboard a high speed jet ski ......................
Away in the lead again!
M Swanson
27-Feb-13, 19:19
Oh! No! Has me poor Nellie left home? Or ........
Has L kidnapped her and took her off on her jet ski? :eek:
M grabs her water-wings, ties a rocket booster to her leg and ........
Power swims to the jet ski and sinks it in the process .........
M speeds ahead to find her Nellie. :)
hello ? Is there anybody out there..........???
C? Is that you C?
You survived everything?
M is still looking for Nellie - she could be hiding in a bowl of custard you know :D
Off I go, fast as a flash and into the lead again :D
M Swanson
27-Feb-13, 23:45
So, C thinks she's got what it takes, huh? We'll see about that. :D
I found Nellie, but not in the custard bowl .......... she was in the cornflakes.
M's gone off her and flags down a galloping goose.
Step aside L, M's coming through. Nothing's gonna stop this train. :cool:
L changes the points and the train thunders off towards Ediburgh instead of Glasgow
He he he he
C is still wandering about looking lost
L takes to her heels and sprints into the lead ..................
Hello.....L ? .....M? ....... Is there a doctor in the house ?
Ahhh.....Haaaa !!!! That's better....Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee, into the lead I go !! :lol: :lol: :lol:
M Swanson
28-Feb-13, 20:42
:lol:
I'm here C. Who are you lurking in those bushes with? Bold girl! :lol:
Jump out and nobble L, who is sprinting close by.
And whilst you're doing that, I'll .....................
Dash for the finishing line! You two are toast. :D
Toast? Ooooo I could do with something to eat! Large dog grabbed M and her toast and ran off with her.
C is still struggling to get out of the holly bush
L is off again ...... showing a clean pair of heels and leading the way :D
M Swanson
01-Mar-13, 11:28
M ate her Weetabix this morning and threw off that pesky dog. Scram Rover. :)
C's gone off the radar again. Is the OH home?
L fell down a pothole and is limping badly. Poor L.
But no mercy from M, who bounds ahead, once more. :cool:
A quick throw of the boomerang and M bounds no more [evil]
C could be looking for more champagne ............
L looks round, spies an empty porsche with the engine running .............
L is racing off again in the lead!
M Swanson
01-Mar-13, 15:20
Brute! But the boomerang went back to the thrower .......
L has a black eye and is out for the count. :lol:
The Porsche is headed for the cliff. Have we lost L for good? :(
M arrives in her ambulance and saves L and then ..........
NeeNaws her way into the lead. Get well soon L. :D
L limps away from the wreck nursing her black eye .....
M has nicked the ambulance so no first aid for L
C is still missing ..........
L pulls herself together, nicks a police motorbike and sets off in hot pursuit ...
The ambulance has a pucture and there is no spare wheel so L races past and into the lead again :)
M Swanson
02-Mar-13, 14:04
A passing sailor stopped to give L First Aid and the kiss of life ....
"All the nice girls love a sailor," and so does L. :D
C hasn't been spotted for a while and fears for her safety are growing. :eek:
M abandons her ambulance, calls to a passing frog and they ....
Jump over L and hop it, pretty darn quick. Eat ya heart out L. :lol:
L sends out a search party for C
M's frog hops it into a bog and M is stuck in the mud!
L waves to M as she passes ....
and L is in the lead again!
M Swanson
02-Mar-13, 16:47
Reward offered for anyone finding C ..... 10p and a sherbert dab. :lol:
A crane swoops down and hauls M from the bog and ........
Together they flap their wings as they fly over L ........
Who shakes a fist at them. Tough cheese L. You're losing a-g-a-i-n. :D
Oooooo sherbert dab :D I will search as I run!
L leaps up and grabs onto the crane's legs ........... wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
The crane lands with a bump - on top of M pinning her to the ground!
L jumps on a passing bus and is off in the lead again :D
M Swanson
02-Mar-13, 17:23
If you find C, I'll even throw in a stick of liquorice, L. :D
Spitting feathers M staggered to her feet and then .......
Bumped into Dick Turpin who held-up the bus and ......
Tied-up the passengers. There's no escape for poor L.
Good. I'll nip along now and board Concorde. Whooooooooooosh! :lol:
A friendly rat gnawed through L's bonds and set her free
We all know what happened to Concorde :eek:
Luckily M had a parachute and jumped out in the nick of time only to land in a big, jaggy tree :eek:
L put on her rocket propelled shoes and zoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomed into the lead!
M Swanson
02-Mar-13, 17:35
M fought her way down the tree and folded her parachute and made it into .....
A lasso and threw it at L's shoes. Entangled, the rocket engine exploded and L ended up ....
Tossing around in a stormy sea. M threw her a life-jacket, before .......
Sitting on a hedgehog that roared off into the distance. Geronimoooooooooooooooo! :lol:
Fortunately a passing pirate ship picked L up ........
The captain sent some of his cut throat crew after M and when they caught her they made her walk the plank and roasted her hedgehog!
L relunctantly left the lovely pirates and, waving to M, sped off on her kawasaki motorbike
Ok, Ok . . . it was the thought of a stick of liquorice that did it !!!!!
Mmmmm. . . just love the stuff !:Razz
Oh, oops does this mean that I'm in the lead . . . . . ? ? ?
M Swanson
02-Mar-13, 20:32
The liquorice affects C badly and she runs for the lavvy! :lol:
Poor C. She'll be gone a while, so ...................
M curses the pirates and swims for shore at top speed.
Once again, she's in the lead. Come on you slow coaches! :D
C jumps into one of the slow coaches and lags behind!
M gets stuck in seaweed and can't get out of the water!
L laughs and "borrowing" a scooter from a nearby child, scoots into the lead!
M Swanson
02-Mar-13, 23:45
Come on C. Give this race some wellie. :cool:
L rides too fast on her scooter and crashes on a bend.
M can't stop to pick her up ..............
She's breaking the sound barrier in her Ford Mustang. Vroom! :D
L throws some carrots on the road and the road and M's mustang stops for a snack :)
L grabs hold of a passing jet and screams off into the lead ............
M Swanson
04-Mar-13, 10:16
Gee! Thanks for the snack, L .........
It was almost worth losing the lead, but ........
Not quite! :D
Not quite isn't good enough [lol]
L, on her jet, screams on in the lead :D
M Swanson
04-Mar-13, 18:50
Cheeky monkey, L. :D
For that, I'm firing an Exocet at ya jet.
Hope you're wearing your parachute.
M rockets into the lead.
L lands on top of M on her rocket and they all plummet to earth!
M is stunned which gives L time to get well into the lead in her trusty jeep .................
M Swanson
04-Mar-13, 20:17
Ah! But M landed in a tree in Brazil and ...........
Straight on to the back of a supersonic parrot.
Together they flew to Caithness and seeing L in her jeep,
They attacked with jelly and blancmange, before
Flying out of sight and into the lead. :D
It was merely a trifle to L :D
M's parrot spotted a bowl of grapes below and flew downwards, downwards, downwards causing M to fall off and land in a muddy puddle!
L roared with laughter as she rode her dragonfly past the drenched M
Into the lead again goes L :)
M Swanson
05-Mar-13, 09:17
:D
M was immediately on her feet and ready to commence battle.
Parrot preened his feathers and then ..........
Gobbled up the pesky dragonfly. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
L landed with a bump and could only watch as ......
M and Polly flashed ahead. :D
L climbs aboard a passing tortoise as M changes to a hare for transport ...
... and you know the story of the hare and the tortoise?
L in the lead again, while M tries to waken her hare!
M Swanson
05-Mar-13, 15:59
Hare stops and transfers M to his best friend, Tigger who .....
Gallops at full-speed away from tortoise who's creeping along.
L could walk faster. :D
M laughs out loud as she and Tigger roar into the lead.
but Tigger bounces into a tree and M falls off!!
Roo hops past and offers L a lift ...
hoppity, hoppity, hoppity into the lead goes L ............
Is C still sipping champagne?
M Swanson
05-Mar-13, 17:41
C has run orf and joined the Foreign Legion ......
She will be missed. :( But ........
I'm still smiling as I pass L and Roo on
My Honda 50 cc. Come on slow coaches.
Huh! Honda, shmonda!!
Overtaken by L in her F1 McLaren, M fades into the distance and is left behind!
Foreign Legionnaires cheer as L races into the lead!
M Swanson
06-Mar-13, 11:33
The McLaren has a tyre blow-out and .........
Needs a two hour pit-stop to change it.
The Legionnaires love a winner and cheering loudly
They're delighted when M in her Honda thunders ahead. :D
Pah! two hour schmoo hour .........
Record pit stop ... 4.5 seconds and L is off again
Honda blows a gasket and L races ahead and into the lead once more :D
M Swanson
08-Mar-13, 23:36
The Honda has died on me, but wait a minute ...........
The RAC man has arrived and gives me a push.
Vroom! Vroom! Stand clear everybody
M in her Honda 50 can't be beaten. :D
But a nearby AA man is raging that he was not asked to help!
He blocks the road with his big yellow van and M and her Honda are brought to a screeching halt!
The AA man opens the bonnet and starts to tinker with the engine!
L roars past in her tip top condition McLaren .................. onwards, onwards, in the lead and towards the finishing line!
M Swanson
09-Mar-13, 20:36
:D
But, further down the road the Ferrari hits an oil slick and ....
Spins out of control. L is thrown out and lands on a thistle. Ouch!
M waves down a passing hyena and sitting on his back, the pair
Laugh uncontrollably as they pass the fuming L. Shame! [lol]
L giggles .... they have put the wrong car off the road!
L is in a McLaren ... not the Ferrari!!
Still in the lead, L races on ............
M Swanson
10-Mar-13, 10:34
Ah! But the Ferrari careered into the McLaren and ..........
Job done. :D M jumps of the hyena
And hitches a lift from a friendly canary, which .............
Transports her into the lead. Tara L. :D
Unfortunately the canary is heading home .. to the canary isles so dumps M at the nearest pub ........
M decides to try out C's tipple of champagne and tries too much .........
Oops, snores are us!
L hijacks a truck and is roaring into the lead yet again!
M Swanson
11-Mar-13, 11:08
And what a great night M had in the pub. And why not?
She deserved a break after leading the field for miles. :cool:
But the race goes. M straps on her running shoes and ......
Overtaking L's truck, sticks her tongue out at the opposition. :Razz
... but M's hangover gets the better of her and she needs to stop for a paracetamol.
L has hidden them all, so M is stuck!
Off I go again, jumping on a passing bus and heading, fast, down the road in the lead again!
M Swanson
11-Mar-13, 17:05
Ooh! my aching head. Luckily Dr Spock is nearby and ....
Gives M an aspirin. It's full speed ahead again.
M calls for a taxi. 'Follow that bus.' They overtake it and
L can only watch as it speeds past. Come on M. :D
L decides to let M stay in the lead .........
OH NO SHE DOESN'T
L reports the taxi for speeding and while the police question the driver .....
Into the lead again :D
M Swanson
11-Mar-13, 17:38
What a snitch! :lol:
M jumps out of the taxi straight onto a flying saucer
And soars towards Heaven. Is that little ant on Earth
Our L being left behind again? Yeah! Good job! :lol:
A guided missile puts paid to M's flight!
While she tries to extricate herself from a thorn bush L is off again ....
and into the lead!
M Swanson
11-Mar-13, 23:25
M plucks out the thorns and with the wind up her tail
Races off to catch the missile thrower, who .............
Has stopped to eat her curly, green sandwiches, leaving
M to take up pole position in the race for glory. :cool:
unfortunately for M, Glory is closed for the day
L finishes her sandwiches, has a glass of champagne
and strolls into the lead again :D
M Swanson
12-Mar-13, 19:43
L strolls, 'cos she's had too much champagne and ........
Falls from the top of Ben Nevis. Down she goes, giggling all the way.
M sees her chance to jump on the back of a giraffe and
Together they canter into the lead. Byeeeeeeeeeeee L. :D
But Tesco bought all the giraffes so M had to hand hers back!
Disappointed, she trudged on.
L, however, still happy on champagne hopped, skipped and jumped into the lead! :lol:
M Swanson
15-Mar-13, 19:47
Oh! No! Giraffe meat pie at Tesco's! I won't let them have mine.
I'll save ya Lofty. :D M hides him a cabbage patch, before .......
Jumping aboard a supersonic train on the Highland Railway and .......
Passing the drunk L, sleeping in a ditch. Go M, girl. :)
M grinds to a halt when it is explained that there are no supersonic trains on the Highland Railway!
L wakes up, shakes herself and leaps aboard a passing tram .... a refugee from the Edinburgh line :lol:
Off into the lead again!
M Swanson
15-Mar-13, 20:22
:lol:
M pays no heed to L and jumps off the train, at Aberdeen, where ....
She boards an ocean liner that takes her, cheering ......
Into the lead again. :)
But ............. M had not noticed the name of the ship!
Titanic 2 ............
... and it was heading straight for an iceberg!!!!!!
Crash, bang, wallop, into the lifeboats ...... and float around waiting for rescue.
L flies overhead in a helicopter just to make sure that M is safe ...
Then flies onwards, onwards, onwards ...
In the lead again!
M Swanson
15-Mar-13, 20:33
Mayday! Mayday! Women and children first.
Thank goodness M has been saved. So it's back to shore and
A hot bath and toddy, before looking skywards and spotting ...
L in her toy helicopter. Enemy at 12 o'clock.
M straps herself into her Mach 1 Tiger Moth and .......
L watches her trail of smoke as M zooms ahead once more.
Come on Eng-er-lund! :D
Lordie! M on the booze again!
Trail of smoke rather ziggy zaggy!
The Welsh are on their way and M quakes with fear!
L has to face the French but can cope with that!
A supersonic frog hops by and L hitches a lift into the lead again!
M Swanson
15-Mar-13, 20:41
:lol: Hiccup!
M can't muck around and it's full speed ahead, to watch ........
England thrash Wales. Come on you Lions. :cool:
M looks back to see L crawling along on the back of a snail.
She's waving the Scots' flag and the French tremble. Good!
Forward to victory M.
A mouse runs from the undergrowth and scares the lion!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
The Welsh start hurling daffodils at M and she runs and hides!
L continues to wave the Scottish flag and cheer the lads on whilst laying down a trap of prickly thisles for M
The snail eats some spinach and becomes supersonic ... onwards to victory!
COME ON SCOTLAND!
M Swanson
16-Mar-13, 18:47
My goodness. That was sneaky, Sally, but rust me ....
You will now be on L and my radar. :D
M throws a hand grenade at the new competitor and .....
Looking to see where L is hiding,
Swaggers, confidently into the lead. :cool:
S catches the hand grenade, and removing the pin
throws it back at M. Sneaking past L's hiding place
and back into the lead ;)
L emerges from her hiding place!
S and M are so busy throwing the grenade back and forward that they do not see L
hitching a ride in the Tardis .....
Using all of the powers available in it, L is well in the lead again!
M Swanson
17-Mar-13, 16:03
Shame about Scotland and England yesterday L. :( Still, second and third places are respectable. :cool:
Is that L, i see in the Tardis? Pity that there's .....
A malfunction and it crashes and throws poor L out.
M makes sure she's all right, before ...........
Fixing on her bat wings and soaring ahead, once more. :cool:
'Tis a pity M ... but Scotland did a lot better than last year in the 6 Nations! :eek:
L picks herself up, dusts herself down, and starts all over again. Where is the sonic screwdriver?
Tardis repaired, L takes off after M ....
Dee dul dee dum, dee dul dee dum, deeduldeedeedee .....
The tardis flashes past M and into the lead again!
M Swanson
18-Mar-13, 09:38
It sure was a pity L, but I enjoyed the games, nonetheless. There's always next time! :D
But, it wasn't real and L was only dreaming about her Tardis and ........
She woke up with a sore head and no transport.
Meanwhile, M sneaks an advantage and jumping into a speed boat
Roared off into the sunset. Take an aspirin, L. :D
Unfortunately M was in the middle of the desert! She had misunderstood the advice given which was to use a ship of the desert, not use a boat!
Engine full of sand M's speed boat stopped ... throwing M headfirst intoa sand dune!
L roared with laughter and raced off on a camel!
In the lead again!
M Swanson
18-Mar-13, 20:09
Strewth, how did I end up in the Sahara?
M spat the sand from her mouth and ........
Firing up her supersonic slippers
Sped past L's mangy camel and into the lead.
L's mangy camel ate M's supersonic slippers leaving her stranded.
After making sure that M had LOTS to drink, L took off ...
On her magic carpet and back into the lead :D
The problem L has is her magic carpet is full of the desert dust and so the weight has slowed her down, but no matter, my supersonic methane powered rocket boots has me soaring into an unassailable lead.
... but the fuel runs out and sends Jox hurtling down and into the sea! Splash!!! Surrounded by sharks, Jox hides in his rocket.
Still no sign of M!
L lands the magic carpet, and after a quick hoover is off again - and in the lead!
M Swanson
22-Mar-13, 20:54
But the rocket is leaking and Jox is in big trouble .....
M steers her submarine towards the catastrophe and ....
Throws Jox a lifeline. Phew! L's magic carpet sustains a hole
And M watches as it crashes into a gooseberry bush.
M pays no heed and dashes into the lead. :)
Welcome back M!!
L extricates herself from the gooseberry bush ....
The submarine crashes into Skye leaving M high and dry .
Jox is still floating around in his lifebelt ..........
L puts on supersonic trainers and streaks into the lead .......
guess i,ll just have to lift the title then. [lol]
M Swanson
24-Mar-13, 14:37
Sorry, Jacko. Your reign was short-lived, I'm afraid. :lol:
Thanks L. I see we have more competition with Jox.
We'll have to step up our game. I'll hold him down whilst you ......
Tie him to a tree. :D Shame your trainers have run out of power
Leaving me to dash off into the sunset.
The bright sunlight blinds M and she falls into a ditch ..
Jox is still floating about singing at the top of his voice ...
L jumps on a bus and heads off into the lead again:D
M Swanson
25-Mar-13, 00:13
Ouch! M landed on a thistle in the ditch, but ..........
Hauling herself out pdq, she listened to Jox yodelling in the distance
Before commandeering a pair of skates,
And sped off to overtake L's bus. Catch me if ya can. :D
Jox must be lost in the mist!
The wheels fell off M's skates .......
L's bus wheels kept going round and round ..
and she sped into the lead again ....................
M Swanson
02-Apr-13, 19:17
Just when L thought it was time to uncork the bubbly .....
Up pops M to spoil the day. :D
Step aside yo' all. I'm holding the lead.
Drat!!! M is back in the race!
Time for some underhand work methinks!
L throws a rope and trips M up ......
off into the lead again goes L :D
M Swanson
02-Apr-13, 22:44
You can't keep a good woman down, L ......... :D
M picks herself up, dusts herself down and
Charges into the lead a-g-a-i-n. :cool:
L has a cold so is feeling pretty miserable .....
but willing to share .....
L grabs a hot water bottle and paracetamol and soldiers on ..........
Sneezing her way into the lead again!
M Swanson
04-Apr-13, 09:53
Sorry to read that L Is poorly. :(
But M won't be sharing it.
L struggles on regardless, but ...........
This is war and no quarter is given. [lol]
M throws L a tissue as she storms ahead.
Thanks for the tissue M ... but really need a box!
Grabbing the nearest cough bottle L pants her way onwards and upwards
Hitching a ride on a passing flying pig, L is in the lead again :D
M Swanson
04-Apr-13, 10:15
:D
One box of Kleenex thrown to poor L.
She's coughing and spluttering and failing fast.
The pig's started to sneeze too and crashes
Earthwards. Poor L's in a heap on top of the mountain.
M zooooooooms past and waves as she takes the lead.
On with the skis and off L goes ... made even faster by her sneezing
Poor flying pig is in a bad way though!
Over a ski jump and down the slalem course .. and into the lead again goes L
M Swanson
04-Apr-13, 10:37
Ah! Jet propelled sneezing. A cunning ploy L. :D
Shame about pig though. I'll send for the ambulance before ....
Taking off in my Budgie helicopter and
Knocking L off the lead.
A quick hot toddie and L is off again ...
in her super hawk jet ... which frightens the life out of Budgie the helicopter!
L checks that M's landing is a safe one ...
then off she goes again, into the lead!
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