respect

[brandy]

now here is a really big word that so many have forgotten what it is.
i was raised to belive that you respect your elders, and to be polite and nice to everyone you can.
children were always taught that respect is something you earn and not a given.
no one will respect you if you do not respect yourselves and others.
in the past several years.. i have seen the youth, treat the elderly with such appaling behavior..
when my oldest was a little baby.. two boys around 11 were pushing each other in front of semi-chem and one pushed the other into my pram.. i said exscuse you.. my babys there! he flipped me off.. said the word that went with it and ran off..
ive never in my life seen such disreagard.
ive seen the elderly being pushed aside.. when the masses come down at lunch.
children talking back to their parents.. telling them what they are going to do and how they are going to do it.
after all of this i hear the youth saying why should i respect them?
they dont show me no respect.
i wonder what they think, that as adults and older people we should bow down to them?
again in my humble opinion.. no one deserves respect, they have to earn it.
and it is so easy to do , in your everyday life.
ive seen my dad, hike thru snow to get milk, eggs and bread for the elderly lady next door, when the weather was to bad to drive.
my brothers as teenagers going to cut wood and stack it.. mow lawns and do diy, for people not able to do it themselves.
God i remember my Godfather saying to my GOdbrothers.. that after school they were heading across the street to help mrs. Hull with the garden and clearing away..
and none of them ever got rewarded.
well no more than the simple reward of feeling really good to see the smile and relief on someones face..
does anyone ever see things like this anymore?
what does respect mean to you?
do you think its a given or something that has to be earned?

[mccaugm]

I am only in my mid thirties and I am in total agreement. When you were told to do something as a child, you did no questions and if you did answer back you got a scud round the lug for your cheek.

My children are (I am told) polite and courteous when they are out of my company. They know what manners are. I am far from perfect but at least I am aware of how to treat people.

[Oddquine]

I kinda feel the problem is that too many kids nowadays are being told that people have to earn respect, whereas I was always taught that, until I was done a bad turn, I had to respect everybody I came across.........because they were no different to me until they showed they were.

[scotsboy]

Respect does have to be earned, however that does not mean that you should disrespect everyone till they have earned it!

[veekay]

How I agree with you all. I was shocked when, th eother day, I was complimented on the fact that my son said please and thank you - unprompted. How much does that tell us. I was always told and have repeated to my offspring ' please and thank you cost nothing but are worth their weight in gold' I didn't expect to have comment made because they use those words. How sad the world has become.

Lets hope for a politer more respectful 2007

[Cattach]

In general Brandy ‘s message has a lot of truth in it and much common sense. However, having worked with youth for 40 years in many situations and with various groups I have to say that the minority with the lack of respect is small but unfortunately comes to notice more readily than the majority who are well behaved. Additionally, I have met many disrespectful adults and not all are young adults. On many occasions adults have walked into shops and pushed past groups of youngsters under my supervision simply because they have assumed queuing does not apply to them. My groups have been forced of the pavement by adults. I have been to sports days where loads of litter has been left where parents have been sitting and also at school church carol services I have cleaned up after adults leaving juice cartons and crisp bags. Yet we blame the youth of today for all our litter. Just observe how many adults drop litter on the streets and how many very mature, sorry old, members of our society flick lighted cigarettes onto the pavement. I could write a book about the lack of respect and common courtesy shown by adults or all ages so do not just blame the youth of today. Have a read of the 100 years ago in the Groat and from time to time you will see reports of problems with youth so whatever problems there are they are certainly not new.

[danc1ngwitch]

Monkey see Monkey do! behaviour in the home and outwith the home.
School and yes i know children only spend X amount of hours at school,
but the way they interact with other children... Being treated and treating
others.
I also get told how well behaved my children are, and it feels like
I have done something right when people say that.
I am a respectful person or i would like to think i am.
Some adults need to Brush themsels down and give way to others.
Children can be very cheeky, but if that is the only language they know
then its gonna be a poor world indeed for them.

[Cattach]

Monkey see Monkey do! If that were to the case then the human race would not have debeloped beyond the monkey stage because free will would be absent!!

I am sure you are right about your children. However, in my experience theparents of children who behaved badly did notrecognise the behaviour and actually thought their off spring were little angels.

'Parents only see what they want to see' might be as equally trite a saying as Monkey see Monkey do!

[_Ju_]

I don't think that disrespect is exclusive to youngsters or that older generations have cornered the market in respect. It has alot more to do with the way that sucessive generations have given less value to respect and more to their individual belly buttons.

[Oddquine]

Respect does have to be earned, however that does not mean that you should disrespect everyone till they have earned it!

Guess that depends on what you mean by earned...........as an example, it saddens me to see the disrespect shown to teachers and the police nowadays by many children, and in some cases by their parents.

I was brought up to respect the authority of the position, if not the individual holding it.........maybe not honest, but certainly requiring self-discipline, which is something lacking in many children nowadays.

I think my generation has a lot to answer for!

[scorrie]

We have done away with Capital Punishment and long jail sentences. We live in a society obsessed with "understanding" and rehabilitating the offender, while the victim gets short shrift. It's all community service and cosy holiday courses for the crooks and hee haw for those who are law abiding.

Tell me this, what is there to respect? Would you respect a bleeding heart Liberal soft touch that expects you to be good just because, well, it would be nice?

Would you be more likely to expect the middle finger to be extended in the certain knowledge that there is either going to be no consequences at all, or perhaps a short period of slumming it on the Playstation 2 at some Adventure Weekend designed to "correct" your behaviour?

[Lolabelle]

I think that the shows and movies that parents allow their kids to watch has a big impact on behaviour. But by no means do I think that it is the sole reason for lack of respect and acceptable behaviour.
The reason I think the TV etc... is a problem is lurking in the antics of the likes of Bart Simpson, he is rude to adults and everyone laughs, what kind of picture does this give our kids? As adults we need to lead by example and not just talk. I think somethings of shows like Simpsons and South Park are quite funny, but I don't watch the shows or allow them to be watched in my home. The message that kids can be rude and try to make fools of thier parents is not one I wish to condone. I also think that with some kids, explaining to them why they should or should not do something is a joke. Most kids can run rings around thier parents and easily out wit them and win every time. I think our generation is the real problem, not thiers.

[lab]

I used to look at a local youth who was a bit of a lad, i would think if i was his mother i would do this or that cant she control him. Now I have a lad of my own the youngest of four whos siblings have never been in any bother at school or out every one says what lovely children they are well ajusted teenagers. My youngest can find trouble in a monastry. We have done everything concevable to try and tame him so to speak. Lectures from police lectures and threats from social workers school teachers and doctors. I have grounded him taking away tv and computer, the only thing we have never done is smack him, I never beleived this was the answer but certanly have doubts now. If we had done when he was younger it might of made a difference. We can only hope he will grow out of his behavour, my point in this post is dont judge all parents with unruly children as quite often they are at the end of their tether also. Oh my rose coloured spectacles broke a long time ago.

[Cattach]

I used to look at a local youth who was a bit of a lad, i would think if i was his mother i would do this or that cant she control him. Now I have a lad of my own the youngest of four whos siblings have never been in any bother at school or out every one says what lovely children they are well ajusted teenagers. My youngest can find trouble in a monastry. We have done everything concevable to try and tame him so to speak. Lectures from police lectures and threats from social workers school teachers and doctors. I have grounded him taking away tv and computer, the only thing we have never done is smack him, I never beleived this was the answer but certanly have doubts now. If we had done when he was younger it might of made a difference. We can only hope he will grow out of his behavour, my point in this post is dont judge all parents with unruly children as quite often they are at the end of their tether also. Oh my rose coloured spectacles broke a long time ago.

An excellent post and so true. I have see children come from what one would describe as deprived and difficult homes who have turned out to be model citizens and others from the so called good homes who have become a burden to society and total wasters. Also as stated above there are families with the two extremes in them for no apparent reason.
People are too quick to judge our youth and also too quick to make uninformed statements about behaviour and respect. As I said in an earlier post the 'bad youths' are in the minority and their numbers are possibly about equal to the equally bad adults, young and old adults.

[Kolskegg]

Lack of respect can be reinforced by adults who have no sense of responsibility. I regularly see adults in my village encouraging youngsters to use go-carts and trail bikes on the football pitch, sometimes for hours on end. Also, playing football between houses, again involving adults. If the so-called adults don't care, then the youngsters will generally follow suit.

I can see that not all kids are bad, but the ones who are seem an awful lot worse than in my day. I guess they are also a bit quicker off the mark in knowing that they can't really be touched until later in life. They will act badly, then squeal loudly if someone reacts to what they've done.

[danc1ngwitch]

Monkey see Monkey do! If that were to the case then the human race would not have debeloped beyond the monkey stage because free will would be absent!!

I am sure you are right about your children. However, in my experience theparents of children who behaved badly did notrecognise the behaviour and actually thought their off spring were little angels.

'Parents only see what they want to see' might be as equally trite a saying as Monkey see Monkey do!

Winks my eye, yep the human race and what a big booby the lord god made in making *US* taps ur back ... xx happy new year x