Safe rooms

[j4bberw0ck]

Listened to the radio news this morning and heard something that seemed to me very bizarre..... the government is setting aside money to build safe rooms for the victims of domestic abuse - in their own homes. Reinforced doors, mortice locks, security lighting, CCTV, alarm systems and a telephone to call Police. Plus the house registered on a Police database to "ensure" a quick response.

I don't want to downplay the issue of domestic violence, but is this really the way to go? In a private, jointly owned house, what happens to the principle of owning your home if one partner objects to the changes and is simply over-ruled? In a rented house, what happens if the landlord objects? What about fire regulations? And when the contractors come to install all this stuff - so the entire street knows about it - what about the possibility of being able to continue living there anyway?

And most of all, if a woman barricades herself in there and the Police are called, what's to stop the violent partner beating the bejasus out of her after the event? Why can't a violent partner be summarily ejected from the property and if there's proof of repeated violence, forfeit their ownership rights?

Or am I missing the point?

[airdlass]

Woman shouldn't feel they have to barricade themselves in their own home - I agree that this might bring attention to her/him and their family and make things worse. Stiffer penalties should be handed out to the abuser not just a slap on the wrist.

[gofor]

been through this with my friend last year husband hammered daughter my daughter wlked in at the time she called police ended up in court was a nightmare they are now getting divorce

[lelebo]

the point of these rooms is not for women who are still living with their abusive partners - it is for women who have separated from them but are still under threat for them. Instead of moving them and their family to a safe-house or hostel many miles away, the women are being offered secure / safe rooms in their own homes so that they can sleep safely and can have fast access to any help they need from police / emergency services.

[cuddlepop]

The problem here I'm afraid is far greater than this solution:~(

[Naefearjustbeer]

If the courts dealt with criminals properly we would all be safe in our homes. If somone is under such a threat that the need for a safe room in your own home is required then the person who is the threat should be under lock and key not the victim. It is about time the court and justice system was overhauled to protect the innocent. Forget the supposed human rights of the crims lock em up and hang the worst of them. No more repeat offenders.

[danc1ngwitch]

Most women do stand by the man that hurts them, sexually, beating, mental abuse ... They become stuck in a rutt where they are ashamed to let others know, you loose all your spirit and fall into having no self worth and there is nothing worse than this... And even when you are what you think is free of that person your never free i don't know if you can ever be free you will always have one eye looking into the way it was just as a safty precausion... Yet you try and try again to justify why??? delusional jealousy??? some kind of medical problem but you try and love them anyway... you think they do care but really if they did they wouldna do the things they do... No One will ever hear the real story the real story ... So yea give woman what they want and men too as i have no doulbt that this happens to men too:~(

[EDDIE]

I think its stupid idea which waste a lot of tax payers money and to make the person live in barricade home is no way to live or move on with life the problem in this day in age is fines and punishment are to soft average fine what £100 and a couple of community service which they drag there heels doing the service. whats a £100 these day.They should bring back the burch.Burch them in a public place so everyone knows them and what they have done that sort it out.
Could you imagine what it would be like if you got sentenced 6 months in prison and every monday u got burched i can you would have empty prisons a year later. to much blasted do gooders in the society today
Instead of comming up with all these stupid ideas they should get back to the basics and everything is simple if you cant do the time then dont do the crime

[EDDIE]

Most women do stand by the man that hurts them, sexually, beating, mental abuse ... They become stuck in a rutt where they are ashamed to let others know, you loose all your spirit and fall into having no self worth and there is nothing worse than this... And even when you are what you think is free of that person your never free i don't know if you can ever be free you will always have one eye looking into the way it was just as a safty precausion... Yet you try and try again to justify why??? delusional jealousy??? some kind of medical problem but you try and love them anyway... you think they do care but really if they did they wouldna do the things they do... No One will ever hear the real story the real story ... So yea give woman what they want and men too as i have no doulbt that this happens to men too:~(
I know i shouldnt joke about but if i tried that with my other half i would be dead meat

[JAWS]

This sounds exactly like you another case of, "Lets say anything so people will think we are showing interest!"

I would think it would cause more problems than it will solve with respect to Domestic Violence. What is to stop the violent person from sealing the door shut? A large piece of wood fastened securely over the doorway and end of Secure Room! It's about as well thought out as "Frog-marching" drunken yobs to a Cash Machine!

This is nothing more than a cynical PR move by Politicians with nothing better to do than to seek attention.
Domestic Violence is a serious matter and as such deserves far more attention than cynical gestures of pretend concern!

[Through]

Maybe some of us men should have safe rooms.

Seriously though, as has already been pointed out a safe room is only safe for a short time. You can't stay in there forever. Our justice system could do with a bit of a tune up.

[mareng]

Woman shouldn't feel they have to barricade themselves in their own home - I agree that this might bring attention to her/him and their family and make things worse. Stiffer penalties should be handed out to the abuser not just a slap on the wrist.

Why don't they just build themselves a shed in the garden? That's what most husbands did to get away from their abusive wives??!!

He-he!

[dozerboy]

Listened to the radio news this morning and heard something that seemed to me very bizarre..... the government is setting aside money to build safe rooms for the victims of domestic abuse - in their own homes. Reinforced doors, mortice locks, security lighting, CCTV, alarm systems and a telephone to call Police. Plus the house registered on a Police database to "ensure" a quick response.

I don't want to downplay the issue of domestic violence, but is this really the way to go? In a private, jointly owned house, what happens to the principle of owning your home if one partner objects to the changes and is simply over-ruled? In a rented house, what happens if the landlord objects? What about fire regulations? And when the contractors come to install all this stuff - so the entire street knows about it - what about the possibility of being able to continue living there anyway?

And most of all, if a woman barricades herself in there and the Police are called, what's to stop the violent partner beating the bejasus out of her after the event? Why can't a violent partner be summarily ejected from the property and if there's proof of repeated violence, forfeit their ownership rights?

Or am I missing the point?

No, I entirely agree with this. This is a major issue and there needs to be something done, but this is the silliest idea I have ever heard! How are the woman going to feel if they are having guests round? "O'h yes, that room with the fortress door...... that's my safe room." That'll be a real conversation stopper!!

Like you say, every one in the entire street would then know about the problem in your house, and some people who think they are above the law, could then set about the abuser, which is not the answer either. Not that we need one in my house, but who has got a house big enough to sacrifice a whole room anyway - just in case??

Stiffer penalties to those who offend first time round would be better - but I know that whatever goes on in a private house is often difficult to prove because of lack of other witnesses etc. Same goes for suspected cot deaths, where the parents are always under suspicion until a post mortem proves otherwise. Are they going to suggest that someone outside the family should lock babies away at night for their own safety too? Sounds ridiculous - but not much more than the safe room idea.

[JAWS]

The Radio at tea time spoke to a woman where this had been used. It provided a better insight into the theory and, whilst it sounded good because they simply listened to the story sympathetically (that was not a problem) They also made no attempt to raise the matter of any problems which could arise.

The woman, it appears, has a husband who has recently been released form prison. Nothing was said about why he had been there as far as i heard. It could have been as a result of domestic violence, of being a murderer, armed robber or simple non-payment of fines. He certainly was not averse to violence an had, at some time, broken into the house and given her a good hiding whilst she had been asleep.

The police had arranged for her to be provided with a "Secure Room" which by all accounts was exactly that. The door, when fastened is actually locked into the structure of the house and has a panic button to summon the police. She says she can now sleep soundly without fear and should he turn up as she returns to the house from shopping she can grab her child and flee to the secure room. Those are the brief details.

Having heard her story, several things make me very annoyed and concerned about what sort of society we have allowed ourselves to become.

To my mind it sounds no different to what used to happen many centuries ago when people fled into a secure stronghold in fear or for defence, pulled up the ladder behind them, locked barred and bolted the entrance and waited until either the marauding enemy left of help arrived.

Why should the woman have to live like that? Would you like to? How many of the idiots who came up with this idea?

If the husband is so violent and dangerous, and I am willing to accept that fact, why is he still wandering the streets?

What happens, as she arrives home, if the husband gets to the child first? Would any of you ladies leave the child with him and head for the nice "Secure Room" just for yourself?

So everything goes fine and she and the child make the "Secure Room" safely or are sound asleep in there. She says he would have to smash a window and she would hear him. Fine, so there he is with his couple of gallons (ten litres for those without the benefit of senility) and a match! She is very secure in the locked, barred and bolted "Secure Room". Or should that read "Trapped".

And these are the idiots who are there to ensure all our safety? I simply despare how we have survived so long!
It sounds more like the plot for a Chidren's Pantomime than any reality I have experienced. Has anybody got any of those magic beans so she can escape up the Green Stalk? :confused

Apparently it costs less to putting her in a Mother and Baby Unit for protection and gives her a home life. Well that is hardly the term I would use!