View Full Version : Disasterous Dates - Have you had one?
Some years ago I was asked out by a certain male whom I had liked for ages.
We arranged to meet at a new Indian restaurant but, plagued by a severe bout of nerves, I decided to have a couple glasses of wine before leaving the house. Well you know how it goes, the couple of glasses turned into a couple more and I was well sloshed by the time I finally arrived at the restaurant.
It was a lovely place (from what I can remember), with dimmed lighting, attentive service, and free-flowing Kingfisher Beer. My date was the perfect gentleman and refrained from passing comment on the fact that I was pie-eyed and, unfortunately, this only made me think that I was more sober than I actually was.
We had just finished our main course when the waiter appeared at our table with two side-plates which he then placed in front of us. "Oh look, they've brought us complimentary banana fritters" I trilled at the top of my drunken voice, before stuffing one in my mouth - - - only to discover it was one very warm cellophane wrapped yellow wash-cloth for my hands. Oops!.
Needless to say, I never heard from this man again!.
Has anyone else had a disaster date which they would like to share?.
Well that's a good one right enough. I might be able to top that, but since all of my dates were in prehistoric times, I think they should remain in the past.
That sounds awfully like the restaurant I took my family to tonight and I was well impressed. I'm putting them in the recommended forum.
Yep a girl at school - it all started when her pals told me they had witnessed her gettinga rough time at home etc - and I should go and see.
So I was invited round to her house (brief description of girl - face like a bag of spanners) oops and (brief description of house - Ford cortina on bricks in the drive and 5 too many jack russells)
Well all seemed fine folks were nice and chatty (mum looked like she hadn`t left that sofa in 25 years) and then the dad said "ahh it is so nice your going out with our lisa" I sat and just spluttered as the entire family stared at me all I could do was say "mmmmppphhh gba gba yes????" then that was me moose in tow for 1 whole scary week of hell! then i decided that even if her family did murder me I would be better dead!!!
I`m sure deep down they were nice people the whole thing was a tad scary and I thank you emms for making me relive that again!
Why do some peoples house smell of biscuits!
on that note good night! and I won`t sleep tight
percy toboggan
18-Dec-06, 23:08
Back in the dark days before the flood. C. 1968. My mate Pete and I were on a caravan holiday in Rhyl. We were just seventeen. Neither of us were good with the girls. We managed to find ourselves walking home to the caravan site though gone midnight with a couple of comely lasses from Oldham. Amazingly the chat flowed and they said they'd come to the disco with us the next evening.
Nexyt morning we thought we'd been dreaming!
If we'd been more experienced we would not have waited an hour and half for them at the pre-arranged spot. Nor would we have gone on to said disco, where they were dancing and having a good time. 'Ohhh! we fell asleep - didn't think you'd be there so we came straight here' one of 'em lied. Mine was a real looker. She looked older than me by about three or four years, but wasn't. She was less than pleased when after getting the drinks in and removing my jacket I managed to catch her glass with said garment and emptied half a pint of cold lager and lime all over her. Worse still I had to buy her another one! I'd been at the bar fully ten minutes already.
We stumbled through the ensuing chaos awkwardly and she seemed to get over it. The noise of the music was far too loud for 'getting to know you chat' but I did hear 'we're just goin' t'lavs'
We never saw either of them again. I have only ever thought of this terrible experience three or four times in the interim. Thanks for the prompt. I can now laugh about it. A lot.
Yep a girl at school - it all started when her pals told me they had witnessed her gettinga rough time at home etc - and I should go and see.
So I was invited round to her house (brief description of girl - face like a bag of spanners) oops and (brief description of house - Ford cortina on bricks in the drive and 5 too many jack russells)
Well all seemed fine folks were nice and chatty (mum looked like she hadn`t left that sofa in 25 years) and then the dad said "ahh it is so nice your going out with our lisa" I sat and just spluttered as the entire family stared at me all I could do was say "mmmmppphhh gba gba yes????" then that was me moose in tow for 1 whole scary week of hell! then i decided that even if her family did murder me I would be better dead!!!
I`m sure deep down they were nice people the whole thing was a tad scary and I thank you emms for making me relive that again!
Why do some peoples house smell of biscuits!
on that note good night! and I won`t sleep tight
I've got tears in my eyes, can't remember the last time I laughed this much ------ Ahhhhhhh Memories!.
Cedric Farthsbottom III
18-Dec-06, 23:20
I met her as she said she would.The gift was their if I wanted it.I had been waiting a while for it.She had promised it to me for so long that ma mooth was slevering at the thought.So here I was standing in front of her and saying give it to me baby
She told me she ate it for her tuck
I was only in Primary 5.:lol: :lol:
My mate Gerry had to share his flat in the halls of residence with two lads, who, in Gerry's own words, "...Are even more immature than me!"
This was over the summer, because all three had resits. During the summer, few flats are occupied, so they are let out on a shor term basis.
Two student teachers from France happened to be there that year. Both female and Gerry's mates were smitten.
They tried all of their best lines, but to no avail. Out of the blue one day, they bumped into the girls, who told them about a part they were going to that night and would they want to go to? Would they!
Well, the bold duo went straight round to M&S to look for something to take to the party. Anything French! They ended up with a packet of biscuits and a bottle of wine.
That night, they got to the address they had been given. A guy opened the door, everyone said hello and the two heroes trooped in. They thought it a bit strange that one guy was in boxers and another was ironing and nobody else was there. However, they got settled on the couch, opened the bottle and passed the biscuits around. After a short time, one of the guys said, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but why are you here?"
danc1ngwitch
19-Dec-06, 18:41
oh no these are good... i dont have any ohhh ..
Once forgot to turn up for a date, felt really guilty then forgot about it until we met face to face again. Immediatly started a grovelling apology and she started to do the same thing simultaneously.
We'd stood each other up!
And then there was an old uncle who would chat up anything in a skirt. He made a point of coming on heavy with sophisticated old world charm to any girl I had the misfortune to introduce him to. It was a real effort to prize young ladies away from his attention but then he had been married at least three times.
His best one was when were waiting as ushers at the door of St. Andrews church on the day of my sisters wedding. A prim spinster lady organist came up the steps and remarked on what a lovely morning it was for a wedding. Quick as a flash the bold lad said "Yes I usually try and get married in the Spring"!
mickey boy
24-Dec-06, 21:47
About 30 years ago I took my first date out for a steak in the upper deck.I did not think she was there before anyway to cut a long story short the waitress arrive to take our choice of steaks. The waitress ask me how would you like your steak done sir I replied well done thanks, She turned to my date, how would you like your steak done> FRIED in a good caithness blast she replied the waitress. The waitress look at me look and we both burst out laughing needless to say the babe took the right huff and walk out leaving me in stiches. :lol:
Not quite a date, but a disasterous lead-up to one!
Aberdeen in the 80's, courting the love of my life as a student, not yet what you could call worldly-wise....
Thought I'd get her something racy from a wee lingerie shop as a Valentine present. Zipped down there on my scooter and slunk in the front door, trying my best to look invisible while several female customers were chatting and examining items of strangely shaped underwear. After about 10 minutes of hiding behind some negliges I realised that I was going to have to take the bull by the gusset and request the assistance of the staff, as I had no idea of what I should be looking for.
Putting on my most self-confident, nonchalent swagger, I emerged from behind the display, looking as though I did this every day. Unfortunately, this cavalier manner resulted in the crash helmet hooked over my arm swinging round and catching a display dummy full on her ample, lace-covered chest, sending her crashing into the door of the staff room, causing it to burst open. If this cacophony of noise wasn't enough to attract the attention of every living soul in a 2 mile radius, then the high pitched shrieks from the 2 elderly ladies having a quiet coffee break inside the room certainly was!
Why I didn't leave the shop at warp factor 9 I still can't understand. Maybe it was the feeling of guilt that made me buy something, or just being rooted to the spot with embarassment. Anyway, I think I just bought the nearest thing that came to hand which was something made of rubber with a teddy bear on it. The ladies were very sweet about it, but I feel it has scarred me for life and may explain my deep suspicion of thongs, and other items of that category ever since.
Didn't have the nerve to present the 'gift' to my sweetheart so I think she got chocolates again. Still makes me squirm thinking about it (Is it hot in here?)
As for the love of my life? We've got our 20th anniversary next year!
p.s. My 2 daughters got their first packet of thongs from Santa yesterday...Eeeuuuwww!!
danc1ngwitch
26-Dec-06, 11:59
this is great xxx to you and yours xxx
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