View Full Version : Unfaithfulness
danc1ngwitch
15-Dec-06, 18:09
unfaithfulness ... With the new year coming and drinks flowing good style,
I wonder how many relationships will fall apart through Infidelity.
If we dig into our relationships how many of us can honestly say we have
the perfect open and honest trusting companion.
Will the New year see a few more Jealous partners seperate.
Sometimes because one partner is so jealous it causes them to do what they
think is being done on them.
Unfaithfulness hurts it really hurts...
DarkAngel
15-Dec-06, 18:23
Im not one of them..Me and my partner been together 5 years and we have just had our 1st baby together and i 100% trust him and he trusts me!!:)
Gogglebox
15-Dec-06, 18:34
unfaithfulness ... With the new year coming and drinks flowing good style,
I wonder how many relationships will fall apart through Infidelity.
If we dig into our relationships how many of us can honestly say we have
the perfect open and honest trusting companion.
Will the New year see a few more Jealous partners seperate.
Sometimes because one partner is so jealous it causes them to do what they
think is being done on them.
Unfaithfulness hurts it really hurts...
Dont you just love the Christmas spirit - -all that hope and optimism for the new year !!!
Cheer Up
Hopefully i will never find out danc1ingwitch.
Cheer up ;) your probably better of without !!
danc1ngwitch
15-Dec-06, 19:10
true very true... scarrs u tho lol xx
unfaithfulness ... With the new year coming and drinks flowing good style,
I wonder how many relationships will fall apart through Infidelity.
If we dig into our relationships how many of us can honestly say we have
the perfect open and honest trusting companion.
Will the New year see a few more Jealous partners seperate.
Sometimes because one partner is so jealous it causes them to do what they
think is being done on them.
Unfaithfulness hurts it really hurts...
Where did that come out of?
George Brims
15-Dec-06, 20:00
To lighten the mood, have a listen to this on the subject of infidelity. A bit adult so all you kiddies ask mum or dad to listen first!
http://www.betterloverseminar.com/desi_wife_catches_husband.php
mums angels
15-Dec-06, 20:04
I 100% have trust in my man, sometimes i could get a little jealous if he was a bit too flirty but know that he would never act on it....he'd know what he'd get if he did..LOL. Revenge can be sweet;)
Where did that come out of?
It probably comes out of the overwhelming tide of promiscuity that destroys families year in - year out.
Overdrinking, overeating...........Christian celebration?
Bah humbug! :(
It probably comes out of the overwhelming tide of promiscuity that destroys families year in - year out.
Overdrinking, overeating...........Christian celebration?
Bah humbug! :(
But you'll save us won't you?
But you'll save us won't you?
I can only try. ;)
unfaithfulness ... With the new year coming and drinks flowing good style,
I wonder how many relationships will fall apart through Infidelity.
If we dig into our relationships how many of us can honestly say we have
the perfect open and honest trusting companion.
Will the New year see a few more Jealous partners seperate.
Sometimes because one partner is so jealous it causes them to do what they
think is being done on them.
Unfaithfulness hurts it really hurts...
What makes u bring up a topic like this to talk about?
I can only try. ;)
There now Dancing; we're safe now.
Isn't sarcasm a wonderful thing :D
true very true... scarrs u tho lol xx
It does......but scars fade with time..........or a better relationship!
The Pepsi Challenge
15-Dec-06, 21:29
Time? It just rubs the salt in even more.
However, if you have a circle of trust, and, love each other equally, well... you have nothing to really worry about. But you know what they say: what you don't know won't hurt you.
Good luck y'all nervous lovers.
unfaithfulness ... With the new year coming and drinks flowing good style,
I wonder how many relationships will fall apart through Infidelity.
If we dig into our relationships how many of us can honestly say we have
the perfect open and honest trusting companion.
Will the New year see a few more Jealous partners seperate.
Sometimes because one partner is so jealous it causes them to do what they
think is being done on them.
Unfaithfulness hurts it really hurts...
In pondering the question, does this not serve to ignite mistrust in others?:confused
Me, I can honestly say I have the most perfect, open, honest, trusting and loving partner, and look forward to celebrating our 9th Christmas together! The fact we have two beautiful WeeBurdies to celebrate it with us this year, makes it even more special for both of us.
I wish a happy, loyal and loving party season to all!
Unfaithfulness hurts, but what hurts even more, is not letting go, not giving yourself a chance to move on...
Saveman...Superman wears tights. That's all I'm saying....
Whit ye tryin' till say.[lol]
danc1ngwitch
16-Dec-06, 11:46
What makes u bring up a topic like this to talk about?
thoughts thats all... dont talk if u dont want to but i assure u alot will relate to it... if the topic offends u in any way then im sorry alot of people dont like the thought of what goes on... anyway its not the time of year to bring others down so hey im sorry xxx;)
thoughts thats all... dont talk if u dont want to but i assure u alot will relate to it... if the topic offends u in any way then im sorry alot of people dont like the thought of what goes on... anyway its not the time of year to bring others down so hey im sorry xxx;)
The topic doesnt offend me i can talk about anthying.
This was talked about on radio 2 its reckoned in a survey that 1 in every 8 relationship one person will cheat at some point in the relatioship.
A lot of people think once u get married everything is perfect for life but its not every relationship you have to work on it throughout life if u know what i mean if the other person cheats on you u should try to resovle the problem rather than calling it day especially if kids are involved if its a persisting problem then thats different And unfortunatley its the same old story the person thats getting cheated on is always the last person to find out and when that happens it takes time to build up trust again.Thats my view on the subject.
Hello - I've been lurking for a bit - time to de-lurk I think and say hello
Unfaithfulness - can honestly say it was a truly horrid experience, trust totally shattered. Was I naive? No - just trusted a person who didn't have the same values as me. Will I trust again - probably - but never quite as blindly. A lesson learnt - most certainly.
I'm still smiling!!!
:) :)
sweetheart
16-Dec-06, 14:17
People get really hung up about sex, but if they were hung up on love, then they'd be so busy loving whomever they are with, that the company is so enchanting, all else is forgotten. And the betrayal is holding back love, for whatever reason, behind a guise of respectability, pretense or social custom. Then this natural muscle betrays a person, as if they can posess love and fence it in like a dog in to a pen, that by breeding, a randy dog is 'in love' with the bitch.
Betrayal is a terrible thing, but if most people are honest, they betray themselves, and from that root grows a thousand weeds.
danc1ngwitch
16-Dec-06, 16:07
The topic doesnt offend me i can talk about anthying.
This was talked about on radio 2 its reckoned in a survey that 1 in every 8 relationship one person will cheat at some point in the relatioship.
A lot of people think once u get married everything is perfect for life but its not every relationship you have to work on it throughout life if u know what i mean if the other person cheats on you u should try to resovle the problem rather than calling it day especially if kids are involved if its a persisting problem then thats different And unfortunatley its the same old story the person thats getting cheated on is always the last person to find out and when that happens it takes time to build up trust again.Thats my view on the subject.
good view...wow what i;ll say ta keep others happy .. lol ( joking ).
I was married for like 16 years, stuck it through everything till the end and nope i wouldna go back to the marriage though all i ever wanted or so i thought at the time went down the tube... my family... but hey I still got my family and all is good ... Doesna help when ur husband lives just a few doors away with a girl 15 years younger than you [lol]
I think a lot of people probably do worry about this at this time of year.
I can honestly say that I do trust my husband 100%. We have been together nearly 11 years, married for near 5.
Christmas is a time for loving and being with the ones you love.
I know my mate hates mad Friday because of the drunks and chancers that are out there, married or not!
Hello, I had to laugh at the start of this thread. We have been married 42 yrs now. and the wife reckon,s that im a man in a million, :) a million other women would,nt have me. [lol] so there you go now ,what chance do i have
Doesna help when ur husband lives just a few doors away with a girl 15 years younger than you [lol]
So go and get your own. Remember, 18 goes into 54 a lot more than 54 goes into 18.
So go and get your own. Remember, 18 goes into 54 a lot more than 54 goes into 18.
i like that through, but i dont think i,ll take it to the test
better the devil you know than the one you dont.?;) [lol]
percy toboggan
17-Dec-06, 16:17
If we dig into our relationships how many of us can honestly say we have
the perfect open and honest trusting companion.
..
I don't need a spade. My wife , for reasons best known to her good self thinks I'm marvellous and worth sticking with. I have never doubted her and she has never had reason to doubt me. Married as teenagers and now 36 years wed it's highly unlikely that either of us will 'stray' It's just not worth the mither and no amount of superficial gratification could make it so.
Young women today do not interest me to be honest. The sensible ones are j really good platonic company but the many more dimbo's ain't worth a second look in their chav fashions and cheap bling.
danc1ngwitch
17-Dec-06, 16:23
reading these last few threads has made me smile... yep im 37 and good for that infact better than good ( looks around ) Im a trusting person and there are lots of us out there by the looks of things, 42 years i wanted that, And i can still have it lol... i might be in my 70's by then but hey if i take up jogging now i will be an old fit cough cough... lol [lol]
percy toboggan
17-Dec-06, 17:34
reading these last few threads has made me smile... yep im 37 and good for that infact better than good ( looks around ) Im a trusting person and there are lots of us out there by the looks of things, 42 years i wanted that, And i can still have it lol... i might be in my 70's by then but hey if i take up jogging now i will be an old fit cough cough... lol [lol]
The way I see trust working is that you can only fully trust anybody once.
danc1ngwitch
17-Dec-06, 17:53
give me hope joanna give me hope joanna give me hope till the mornin comes.. i must admit i think i would be side stepping just a little when the trust and love thing that comes hand in hand :eek:
rockchick
17-Dec-06, 18:28
Lets face it...it's inevitable that sometime during a relationship, one or both partners will be tempted by someone's elses attention. It's not reasonable to expect that at no time during, let's say, a twenty year relationship you will find no one else attractive - it's human nature. Where the crunch comes is how we react to this temptation - most people just take it in stride, accept it for what it is, and pass it over.
During the festive season, with so many parties and alcohol flowing profusely, it's alot easier to let one's judgement slip! Lowering your resistance to temptation, and making it easy to make a mistake.
Just to add a twist to this thread, let's say you were drunk and stupid one night, and had a one-night-stand which you thoroughly regretted once you sobered up...do you tell your spouse?
RockChick, I don't think I could ever be the offending party. If I were the one to suffer the treason I would want to know and work from there, if only for the reason that whenever one half of a couple plays away, they play not only with their lives, but the lives of their spouses/partners.
mums angels
17-Dec-06, 18:52
I think a lot of people probably do worry about this at this time of year.
I can honestly say that I do trust my husband 100%. We have been together nearly 11 years, married for near 5.
Christmas is a time for loving and being with the ones you love.
I know my mate hates mad Friday because of the drunks and chancers that are out there, married or not!
Very true Bobsgirl I also hate Mad Friday, in my younger years everytime i went out but especially on Mad Friday my girlfriends and I were getting chanced left right and centre by drunken blokes and yes alot of them were married -wedding rings the lot, they just didn't seem to care, its a shame!!!
I now never go out on Mad Friday and am very careful when i go out on other nights not to give the wrong impression. A couple of years ago i was out with a few freinds and one of the guys asked for a dance - i did because he knew i was married and hed said he had a girlfreind but didn't stop him going in for a kiss but i waved my wedding ring in his face and he had the nerve to say "whats that supposed to mean" :confused
Not all men are like that but they all have it in them to stray(women too) especially if they've been drinking since 12noon.
danc1ngwitch
17-Dec-06, 19:10
yip tell all its less hurtful that way at least it would have been for me...
I've no pearls of wisdom on this topic but I can gives expert advice to both sexes on how to do it all wrong. (I'll leave you to work that one out).
I once heard a lawyer who specialised in divorce say that, although the reasons given in court are big, the main cause of marriage break-ups are the little things.
"He never puts the seat down!"
"The bathroom is always full of her tights hanging up to dry!"
"He always leaves the top off the toothpaste!"
"She's never of the blasted phone!"
His explanation was that, although nobody would want to look petty by using such reasons in Court, it was the constant drip, drip, drip of those over the years which caused the problems in the first place. Then something useable comes along and that becomes the "official" explanation for the break-up by one side or the other. The major damage is already done, a perfect lifeboat appears, and on or the other jumps ship.
OK, I know there are reasons why some people have no choice and others why there is good reason for break-ups, violence for one, desertion for another so please don't think I am ignoring or trivialising such things. I am speaking of those marriages where, to an outsider, things would appear to be fine.
danc1ngwitch
18-Dec-06, 15:27
some people try and try again to repair... All i wanted was my family... just for everything to be ok... I made up with arguments and laughed to help make things all ok but there is something to be said about all the little things... It indeed takes two to mend whats broken ... Thing is though in the end I did not want to spend the rest of my life being suspicious and trying to fix fix and fix again ...
it can shatter you . Hold your head high, paint on the lippy and a smile even when you think you will never smile again. Let the bitterness go cos thats what eats you up in the end and gives you wrinkles. Grieve for what you thought you had and what you thought you would have in the future and then move on. If you let it go there will come a day when you will look at him and his life and think " you dont matter to me any more" and boy does that feel good. You wont spend your whole life being suspicious cos someoen eventually will come and you will know they are true more than you ever did with your ex so pick up your troubles come on be happy, get ready for the judgement dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
It probably comes out of the overwhelming tide of promiscuity that destroys families year in - year out.
Overdrinking, overeating...........Christian celebration?
Bah humbug! :(
And 'Over-Exaggeration' as can be seen in this post.
And 'Over-Exaggeration' as can be seen in this post.
Rose-tinted glasses anyone?
Rose-tinted glasses anyone?
I also think that the quote used in Cattach's post is over the top. Some people get bitter.
Dancingwitch, you have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince! x
I also think that the quote used in Cattach's post is over the top. Some people get bitter.
It's hard to argue with the stats.
People can still go over the top on flogging this subject to death. It doesn't happen to everyone you know.
People can still go over the top on flogging this subject to death. It doesn't happen to everyone you know.
Yes you're right. It's just a shame it happens at all. :(
Lolabelle
19-Dec-06, 14:40
I am glad to say that I can be 100% confident that my hubby wont go out and drink to much at a work do and end up doing something we both regret.
Firstly because we go to everything together, I won't go to a work do if he isn't invited and vice versa.
Second because we own the business.
Third we are christian and put that first in our life and marriage
Fourth we don't drink, so no chance of blaming too much alcohol.
Hello - I've been lurking for a bit - time to de-lurk I think and say hello
Unfaithfulness - can honestly say it was a truly horrid experience, trust totally shattered. Was I naive? No - just trusted a person who didn't have the same values as me. Will I trust again - probably - but never quite as blindly. A lesson learnt - most certainly.
I'm still smiling!!!
:) :)
Hello, Aileen. Welcome to the org - shame it was such an unhappy thread, though. Nice to meet you.
danc1ngwitch
19-Dec-06, 18:24
Dancingwitch, you have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince! x
this is probably true, best get puckern the lips lol
What's the fuss about? We all do it. And even those who don't really want to.
It's in the genes. A recent article in the New York Times says scientists have discovered that even little chickadees in trees do it. Lady chicks invite passing gentleman birds into the nest while poor old poppa is out hunting worms.
There's an old rhyme that's going to have to be changed.
Higomus hogamus
Womem are monogamous
Hogamus higamus
Men are polygamous
Of course we have to have a bit of a veil to cover up the sheer carnality of our interests.
Take Casablanca.
The underlying message is that Bogart and Bergman have the hots for each other. And its not going to be much of a movie for the audience until the breathing gets heavy and the restraints of monogamy get lighter.
So what did those artful old movie makers do?
They incuded one pulsating, passionate, parisien scene after another told _ oh genius - in FLASHBACK.
And that's what we all want out of that movie.
Really what happens in movies AFTER the lovers fall into each others' arms having agreed to get married.? Nothing happens that's what. OK maybe a bit of the Sound of Music and Mrs Miniver (although that strange Canadian Walter Pigeon is a bit unsettling) try to build some sort of post -marital story. But it doesn't work.
And in Brief Encounter don't we all groan when she goes back to her husband - who wears a SLEEVELESS PULLOVER ( there's a passion killer) and carpet slippers and smokes a pipe. (I dunno about you but this guy could be a serial killer or a math teacher at the old Miller Academy)
So let's have glorious infidelity. Inverness is only a few short hours on the train for the both of you...and then you could merge impreceptibly into the tartan wallpaper and the crocodiles of blue rinse American ladies and you can whisper in her ear "We'll always have Inverness."
Go to it, Caithness!!!!
Rich, if you are going to blame genes for infidelity then you have it slightly wrong. In the human being the female chooses a mate for 7-9 years ( the time it would take to raise 1 or 2 of his children). The male will however try at any ocassion to spread his genes. We are talking Lucy's time here ( austrolopithecus) when culturaly we were little more than glorified primitive tool users who had recently developed oposable thumbs.Aside from the cultural climate having changed, there are diseases out there that should stop everyone short in their tracks when jumping the fence. Each is entitled to do what they feel is right for themselves, but not when their partner believes they are in a monogamous trusting relationship.
. In the human being the female chooses a mate for 7-9 years ( the time it would take to raise 1 or 2 of his children). The male will however try at any ocassion to spread his genes. .
Well this scarcely sounds like a recipe for marital bliss!
As a general rule the male will wish to spread his genes as far and as wide as possible. The female will want the best selection of genes she can find for her offspring but also want somebody to help protect and provide for her and her offspring during the period when the offspring make huge demands on her time and effort.
The caring sharing male is more than likely not the one to provide the healthiest and most successful genes. The obvious solution is to make him believe he is the father so he will stick around. Biologically speaking, of course. :lol:
So let's have glorious infidelity. Inverness is only a few short hours on the train for the both of you...and then you could merge impreceptibly into the tartan wallpaper and the crocodiles of blue rinse American ladies and you can whisper in her ear "We'll always have Inverness."
Go to it, Caithness!!!!
Sorry to disagree Rich, been happily married for 44 years now, why would I want or need to stray, and Inverness to me is about as exciting as Georgemas Junction [lol]
Golach don't worry yourself - adultry is not yet compulsory.
danc1ngwitch
20-Dec-06, 08:23
i once had a conversation with a man at work who has been married still is married for 40 what ever years and he said to me " yes the grass at times did seem greener on the other side of the fence, but there is a fence so i stayed where i was "
I would kust like to add i am not bitter about my situation ask me why? lol The younger girl is jealous and insecure about me an oldie ( kinda oldie ).
Anyway you cannot stay bitter because that hurts you as a person and im better than that.xxx;)
Here is what to do, dancIngwitch, to recover.
Find a good friend with whom it might, sometime, be possible to have sex with. (Is that word allowed? Presses on regardless....)
With that friend go to the movies once a week. (Are there still cinemas in Caithness?)
Meet for dinner beforehand. Go to the movie. Go home - ALONE!!!
At this stage anything more than a chaste peck on the cheek is FORBIDDEN. (Got that? Good...)
If there are no cinemas available and if you are reluctant to hit the breakneck pace of DVDs for two and if you are worried about GOSSIPS (in whiich Caithness is knee deep) - then go to Plan B.
Plan B is to go for a walk. Now, at this stage you might like to purchase a dog (along with a Goretex jacket and waterproof boots because you are going to so some serious walking, at least a mile and a half with your friend. The wind in your hair and the complexion-enhancing effect of a good stiff north easter will ensure that you are looking your best and suitors will come toppling out of the trees (If you can find any that are still upright in Caithness (the trees that is not the suitors.)
The dog of course is the piece de resistance because what better way to break the ice than by saying "what a great-looking dog." (Almost as great a line as 'what fabulous shoes!)
After a month or two of this you will be tingling with anticipation, ready for the romantic train ride to Inverness - assuming always that you dont succumb to lust and bail out of the train at Dornoch to follow in the footsteps of Madonna.
Now as for your ex. Wretched, philanderer that he is, think of the Bass Rock. Think of him stuck there alone with the seagulls. Think of him being attacked by your dog. Better still dont think of him at all.
One final strategy is to write poetry by candlelight. Let it all pour out. You'll feel great.
Cheers
oldmarine
21-Dec-06, 02:26
unfaithfulness ... With the new year coming and drinks flowing good style,
I wonder how many relationships will fall apart through Infidelity.
If we dig into our relationships how many of us can honestly say we have
the perfect open and honest trusting companion.
Will the New year see a few more Jealous partners seperate.
Sometimes because one partner is so jealous it causes them to do what they
think is being done on them.
Unfaithfulness hurts it really hurts...
Yes, unfaithfulness can truly hurt and destroy a marriage. I was married to my departed wife for 15 years before she was taken away from me by ovarian cancer. Married my childrens' elementary school teacher and we have been married close to 37 years. Faithfulness kept our marriage together and I truly enjoy my wife, children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren.
oldmarine
21-Dec-06, 21:03
I am glad to say that I can be 100% confident that my hubby wont go out and drink to much at a work do and end up doing something we both regret.
Firstly because we go to everything together, I won't go to a work do if he isn't invited and vice versa.
Second because we own the business.
Third we are christian and put that first in our life and marriage
Fourth we don't drink, so no chance of blaming too much alcohol.
Lolabelle: Sounds great that you and you husband are Christians and put that first in your life and marriage. Not drinking alcohol also helps. Owning the business is a plus. Knowing that your husband won't do things without you helps make it a great marriage. Keep on doing things together. At 81 years of age, my experience tells me that you and your husband should not have any problems with your mariage. My wife and I continue to have a wonderful life together with our children and our grandchildren plus great grandchildren. Our God has been great for us and we continue to worship Him and thank Him for all that He is and has done for us.
Naefearjustbeer
21-Dec-06, 21:56
I already have a wife, Why the hell would I want another woman? I am not stupid I could never stand all the extra shopping that it would entail having 2 on the go!:D
Seriously though I trust my wife and she trusts me. The way we both feel about infidelity would mean that if either of us strayed the next step would be going our separate ways. I think kids are better off with 2 parents but I think that one parent who looks after the kids best interests is better than growing up with a slut for a mum/dad (delete as appropriate). More and more kids are being brought into the world outside of secure relationships and I think this is wrong. So keep it bagged if you don't think your partner is the one for keeping.
danc1ngwitch
22-Dec-06, 09:30
Yes, unfaithfulness can truly hurt and destroy a marriage. I was married to my departed wife for 15 years before she was taken away from me by ovarian cancer. Married my childrens' elementary school teacher and we have been married close to 37 years. Faithfulness kept our marriage together and I truly enjoy my wife, children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren.
wow this is the bestest and sad at the same time.. xx
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