Jehovah Calling

[Errogie]

What is it about the timing of Jehovah's Witness's when they decide to come chapping at your door or is it just me who gets them at the most inconvenient times?

Saturday morning preparing for one of those big family birthday parties with an "O" in it. Village hall decorated and band booked for the night with a maelstorm of activity on the croft, plucking hens, unearthing spuds, and trying to arrange accomodation for relatives and guests from all the airts.

Two smartly dressed young men come strolling up the track, must be distant relations on herself's side who I haven't met but hey, they look fit and strong so it's either a loan of the wellies to dig the spuds or the big felling axe to address the log pile. Apologetic smile and what do I get but a leaflet about the end of the world! I ask you.

Well I am afraid that it just provoked me into an Org type rant, telling them that everyone in Errogie was bound to be going to hell in a handcart but not before we'd all let our hair down, danced, drunk and eaten to excess in the afore mentioned village hall as part of the preparation for the end of the world. And really they should be studying the environmentalist's P.R. because they have a much more convincing tale to tell and their version of the book of Revelations is more up to date.

So they turned around and walked away those fine young men and I lost their potential contributions to the party preparation but no matter the occaision and the company was excellent and the last of our guests only left today.

But funnily enough the time before that when they showed up was Christmas Eve in a snow storm about three years ago. Again I was outside and had plucked the home reared turkey and had my bare arm up its backside to the elbow trying to haul the last of its wind pipe and gizzard out from that end when they came calling and we had a lively conversation as they froze in the blizzard and I explained the evolutionary similarities between lizzards and dinosaurs with the help of the exhibits to hand.

So does anyone else get these visits at the wrong time and how do they handle them and I just know that some contributor is going to blast my irreverance but thank God I'm an athiest!

[bobsgirl]

It has happened to me too!
They do seem to have the knack of turning up when they are not wanted.
First of all they appear on the doorstep when we had the builders in making our new front porch, mud everywhere, very unsafe. You would think that they would have just walked on and let us be, but oh no, they had to come and ask what we were getting done and just happened to slip us a few leaflets at the same time.
Then when the work was done they came back for what they called a progress report!!! What scared me most was the fact that they remembered all of our names. (Couldnt remember having the conversation of names though!)
Anyway 2nd time they came back I had a surprise for them. They timed it oh so well. I had my Ann Summers T-Shirt on that had little devils in various compromising positions on the front. The poor older guy didnt know where to look but i dare say they wont be coming back to our door again!!! [evil]

[obiron]

I usually hide and make the boys get down on the floor. which does leave them a bit confused so i just mention that its the god squad. (no disrespect to anyone intended). its so hard to be rude and they do know your name. safer to get hubby to answer.

[connieb19]

Is there ever a convenient time for them to visit? [evil]

[obiron]

dont think so connie. they always come either on a sat/sun or just before the kids come in from school.

[Kingetter]

What is it about the timing of Jehovah's Witness's when they decide to come chapping at your door or is it just me who gets them at the most inconvenient times?

Saturday morning preparing for one of those big family birthday parties with an "O" in it. Village hall decorated and band booked for the night with a maelstorm of activity on the croft, plucking hens, unearthing spuds, and trying to arrange accomodation for relatives and guests from all the airts.

Two smartly dressed young men come strolling up the track, must be distant relations on herself's side who I haven't met but hey, they look fit and strong so it's either a loan of the wellies to dig the spuds or the big felling axe to address the log pile. Apologetic smile and what do I get but a leaflet about the end of the world! I ask you.

Well I am afraid that it just provoked me into an Org type rant, telling them that everyone in Errogie was bound to be going to hell in a handcart but not before we'd all let our hair down, danced, drunk and eaten to excess in the afore mentioned village hall as part of the preparation for the end of the world. And really they should be studying the environmentalist's P.R. because they have a much more convincing tale to tell and their version of the book of Revelations is more up to date.

So they turned around and walked away those fine young men and I lost their potential contributions to the party preparation but no matter the occaision and the company was excellent and the last of our guests only left today.

But funnily enough the time before that when they showed up was Christmas Eve in a snow storm about three years ago. Again I was outside and had plucked the home reared turkey and had my bare arm up its backside to the elbow trying to haul the last of its wind pipe and gizzard out from that end when they came calling and we had a lively conversation as they froze in the blizzard and I explained the evolutionary similarities between lizzards and dinosaurs with the help of the exhibits to hand.

So does anyone else get these visits at the wrong time and how do they handle them and I just know that some contributor is going to blast my irreverance but thank God I'm an athiest!

You're right about appearance and that works to your advantage - "you can see them coming" so, when you open the door, let them speak first, then reply in some foreign lingo (Urdu maybe). They'll soon get the message that they've reached The Tower of Babel".
Try it - it really works.
N.B. Check their ethnicity first or "Thou shalt have egg on thy face".

[unicorn]

I don't even let them speak I say I am not interested and close the door.

[changilass]

when I was a lot younger a friend of mine was a jehovas witness, will never forget her crying her heart out cos her parents wouldn't let her go to the school christmas party, this was Castletown Primary- we really were only little.

Wouldn't have minded but it was just a kids party nothing remotely religious.

I now just open the door tell them I aint interested and close it in their face. They soon get the message.

[Rheghead]

They are just of the same ilk as the rest of the religious wackos that one encounters through life, except that they seem to be the most predatory. Typically, they just have as wacky improbable ideas as another religion, it is just that them being in the minority, people just take pleasure in marginalising them because of their religious views.

[Dreadnought]

Years ago I answered the door to the jobos naked and smothered in peanut butter and jam. They haven't been back since.

[Alice in Blunderland]

My dad invites them in and listens to what they have to say.He then offers them a cup of tea/refreshments and then turns the table on them.As a christian my dad feels it is only right that they should in turn listen to him telling them all about christianity and what he believes in.Its so hard for them to get up in the middle of their cup of tea and my dad has his say before they manage to leave.They always remember his house and never come back its only when the new ones appear that my dad ever gets another visit they dont like a taste of their own medicine when someone bangs on about their religion.

[_Ju_]

When we moved to Portugal, with the exception of my Father, non of us spoke Portuguese, especially my Mother who never really learnt it. Anyway, we had just moved into a old house with a large garden. The door bell was actually a real bell connected to a pulling leaver with a wire, and boy did it ring loud! Many school children would ring it and run away when they realised someone was coming to open the door.
One day, about 4 months after having moved there, my sister and I were at home with my mother who was busy in the kitchen dicing pork with my fathers old work knives ( he was a fishmonger and we used his 30cm long, 8 cm wide at the hilt knives in the kitchen). The bell starts clanging. My mother decided to ignore it because we knew no one and my sister and my portuguese were rudimentary. These visitors however, must have heard the radio was on and would not go away. They kept on ringing the bell, untill it got on my mother's nerves (she thought it might be kids fooling around with the bell), so she went to the door in such a haze of anger she forgot to put down the knife and made me come with her incase a translator was needed. She threw open the door and there stood two mormons. The blood drained from their face as they took a quick step back and very loudly proclaimed they came in the name of God. We came to the conclusion that large knives tend to stifle the religious enthusiasm for converting heathens.
Even though it worked quite well, and has been a family joke for many decades now, I haven't kept up the tradition of anwering the door with a knife in hand. My method, tried and tested, is to tell a wee lie when I really don't have the patience to politely decline. If someone is trying to sell me conservatories, kitchens or double glazing, I say the house is rented. If someone is trying to sell me religion I say I am jewish or Budist or Hindu (or all of the former if I want to wind them up). Works a charm.

[Lolabelle]

My dad invites them in and listens to what they have to say.He then offers them a cup of tea/refreshments and then turns the table on them.As a christian my dad feels it is only right that they should in turn listen to him telling them all about christianity and what he believes in.Its so hard for them to get up in the middle of their cup of tea and my dad has his say before they manage to leave.They always remember his house and never come back its only when the new ones appear that my dad ever gets another visit they dont like a taste of their own medicine when someone bangs on about their religion.

Good one Alice, they are so used to being abused that it is like water off a ducks back. It actually justifies thier cause in their eyes. I know how it works because all my inlaws are JW's. And I married Dave as an ex JW (if there is such a thing) so needless to say, I know the speal. I love debating with them, and it baffles them that I know so much inside info. But if you don't want a debate, hide!

[connieb19]

People say that if you put a "I Give Blood" sticker on your door that they wont bother you. :confused Is that true?

[sapphire]

Years ago I answered the door to the jobos naked and smothered in peanut butter and jam. They haven't been back since.

I realise that there are boundaries which just shouldn't be crossed.....but would you care to expand on this statement Dreadnought......I may never sleep again if I don't find out why............on second thoughts, don't bother....I may never sleep again!!!:lol:

[Ojibwa]

I had the mormons approach me the other day. I had just picked my boys up from school and we were walking home, when this guy came out of his car and started walking with me. I said that I wasn't interested and that I had my own beliefs but he kept on going, followed us all the way home. I had to just shut the door. I always feel bad but they just don't leave you alone. Do they really need to harass people like this, surely a leaflet through your door is enough, if you want to find out more you can go along to their church.

[David from Stockport]

I dont agree with any religion - the world would be better off without any of it.
My last girlfriend who i was with for 4 years is a JW and when she started seeing me they were not happy to say the least and had a visit from the Elders to twist the thumbscrew as they cannot date outside there religion and even with there own have to be shapperoned . She ignored them obvoisly , they do have some very weird ways and even disown there own children in some cases . In regard to going around knocking on doors my ex was expected to do this but did not like doing it although she did enjoy it when other religions wanted a debate and far from avoiding that house would go back if they were nice people.
She kept a list of where she had called before and what response she had recieved . Im always polite to the JW s as my ex was such a nice person , as she didnt like the doorstep business she used to knock on doors she thought would not answer so she could be seen to be doing her duty - she also knew which houses would give her a brew so called on them - she never bothered with the hard sell and just enjoyed a natter with people , she d been doing it 12 years and never had a convert but never really tried . Like i said though a lovely woman !!!!!!!!

[sassylass]

I just say I have my own beliefs and close the door in their midsentence.

A quick story though....one rainy day when my children were small, two men in suits approached us as we were hurrying out the door to school. Daughter's lunch box opened with her sannie splatting and apple and thermos rolling down into the gutter. Rain was pouring, son slipping in mud, daughter screeching, me chasing thermos. Man said "I guess this isn't a good time to talk about Jesus", I answered "You got that right" [lol]
Just thinking about the look on his face brings a smile to my mine.

[oldmarine]

My dad invites them in and listens to what they have to say.He then offers them a cup of tea/refreshments and then turns the table on them.As a christian my dad feels it is only right that they should in turn listen to him telling them all about christianity and what he believes in.Its so hard for them to get up in the middle of their cup of tea and my dad has his say before they manage to leave.They always remember his house and never come back its only when the new ones appear that my dad ever gets another visit they dont like a taste of their own medicine when someone bangs on about their religion.

Very good. I actually know of a JW who converted to Christianity after being subjected to a similar situation described above. I guess her belief in the JW religion was not strong enough to overcome the Christian belief that was presented to her by a devout and faithful Christian.

[Lavenderblue2]

I'm afraid the very thought of Jehovah's Witness's brings the worst out in me. My husband has a sister and brother whom he hasn't seen for years. After they converted to J.W about thirty years ago now, they tried sending lavish J.W books and literature to our children. Of course, this worried us and we asked that they wouldn't send ' Jehovah's Witness's' material. They didn't like that and our relationship began to cool and we heard from them less and less. Despite me writing to them occasionally we haven’t heard from them for years and years – to my mind if you aren’t with them you are against them.

LB

[henry20]

I've only ever had Jehovah Witnesses call at my house once. It was a woman and her young son. I politely told her that I wasn't interested and she thanked me for the time I had given her - which was only opening the door and saying hello. She had my respect for that as she was in no way pushy and accepted that I had no interest in hearing about her religion. I have also worked with a couple of Jehovah Witness' and neither of them have ever discussed their religion unless asked. At Xmas time, giving out cards, I was never sure what to do. I didn't want to omit someone, but I didn't want to disrespect my colleagues religion. I think some years I gave cards, other years I didn't. Although he never took cards home to set on the mantlepiece, he did open them and kept them at his desk until after Xmas.

The only other time I have come across anyone trying to 'pass on' religious messages was when I was a teenager and was walking down the street in Glasgow. There was a young woman who stopped me to try and speak to me. I said I wasn't interested and continued to walk, but she kept following me and wouldn't leave me alone until I took some of her 'free books'. Now, this I strongly disagree with - especially as I was so young!

[squidge]

My late mother in law would ask them in for a cup of tea and listen politely to what they had to say then she would finish the conversation with - Thats all very interesting but i couldnt do without Christmas so its not for me.

[j4bberw0ck]

Can't, personally, see why it's necessary to be rude to JW's when they come to call; if it was a friend knocking on the door at an incovenient time you wouldn't be rude; you might say "Look, I can't talk now" or something similar.

I have never found a Witness to be in any way challenging, or persistent. They're universally polite and pleasant - as are the Mormons. I don't believe what they peddle, but that doesn't mean that as a human being, I need to be rude or unpleasant to another human being - or shut the door in their face. A simple "I'm sorry, I don't believe in your faith and don't want to talk about it now", and / or a polite refusal of their magazine, is all that's needed.

For their faith, they go out and knock on doors. How disheartening must it be to get people deliberately being unpleasant on say 99% of doorsteps? And yet they do it for their belief.

Perhaps it shows a calm acceptance of the world and says something about the strength their faith gives them?

But I guess that since many people have clever, self-aggrandising stories about how they put down a JW and laughed afterwards, many others feel they have to match it, or just assume it's the only way. A bit like shooting fish in a barrel, really, since the JWs are so unthreatening. :roll:


"O wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beautious mankind is!
O brave new world,
That has such people in't!"

Aldous Huxley, Brave New World.

Well worth a read. ;)

[sassylass]

Jabberwock, I agree with you...mostly. I have to say though, that while I've been approached by more courteous JWs and Mormons than discourteous ones, there are plenty who won't take "No thanks" for an answer.

Those are the ones who get the door shut in their midsentence.

[saxovtr]

they are a pain

[mostlyharmless]

Interrruptions ...well I seem to get plenty while I'm on the PC buy people trying to sell me things,pop ups,pop ups pop outs,updates for anti virus,microsoft,emails rtd etc.
Interruptions from the telephone, interruptions from animals escaping,interruptions from children,family,people knocking at the door,
people trying to get in the bathroom,leaflets through my door, junk mail, other people in shops in my queue,other car users,tractors,caravans,salesmen,
old people in the co-op,flys buzzing around,birds tweeting to loudly,horses,cows.sheep,young people middleaged people, all in all if I didn't have any interruptions my life would be clean and calm and quiet.
.......No thanks I'll have a few interruptions. I take it as a compliment that some poor soul should come and see me at any time with an honest if not always correct message.

[rich12345]

it happened to me too before i was watching the lottery and i had to stop to go tell them to leave:eek:

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

When the Jehovah's come to the door,I always listen to what they say.Then a customary edition o' the Watchtower is handed over.I always say,"Along the Watchtower",brilliant song by Jimi Hendrix.It always enthralls me with their puzzlement,as they always seem to think I'm interested in their plonderings.

Although ma main worry is to go back to the living room and tell ma wife and my boys "ye can come out from behind the couch now,they've gone.":lol:

[Ricco]

Years ago I answered the door to the jobos naked and smothered in peanut butter and jam. They haven't been back since.

Ah! That's how you are intending to feed the prisoners inside that roofless prison you were designing - make them lick that off! Nice!!!:lol:

[the charlatans]

I had some very nice lady at the door the other day, well dressed, very pleasant handing me a leaflet regarding something religious. However she'd woken my baby up when she knocked so i was was on the back foot, slightly ticked off. I was nice back to her as she smiled and its like Jabberwock says, it canny be easy going round the doors. i've never thought of it that way.

But i'll never be a JW, purely on account of them knocking at the door the day after my friend died and they weren't sympathetic at all.

People are people after all, but its how you deal with them that makes you human.