Lies

[whitewitch]

What punishments do you give out for your child lying? A wee White lie or a more serious one? Thanks

[rich62_uk]

Age of child comes into it as well .... Also do they continually lie or is this a one off ? The type of lie would also have a baring on it.

[squidge]

My wee ones are 4 and 2 and I have told them their tongue turns black if they tell a lie. I make them stick their tongue out and just being cross is enough to make them own up. It helps to discourage lying. When my other children were older it would depend on which one it was as to what action I took, with one son - the naughty step /standing in a corner worked - with another making him own up and apologise was just torture for him. When they got older grounding or removing priviledges also worked.

I remember one of the boys telling me he was staying with his pal overnight and then phoning to be picked up at 8am in the morning from town. I smelled a rat and asked him for the truth and he was adamant that he was telling the truth. I knew he was lying so I took him back to his pals house and said I was going to have a word with his dad because I didnt beleive him. He did the "you'll make me look a fool", then "his dad doesnt like to be disturbed you'll make him cross" and I countered that with "He is a dad he will understand and I'll be very sorry that I doubted you but I dont beleive you just now" I actually parked outside the house, got my hand on the door and my son said " I was at an all night party" He was GROUNDED for six weeks and had no internet.

[tonkatojo]

gruel for all meals for a couple of days should do the trick.

[whitewitch]

It is just little lies, but I want to nip it in the bud before it becomes big ones. They are 8 years old, and just now it is all about them not doing something, and blaming someone else, but then I found out it was them.I want them to tell the truth all the time as then I would have no doubts in the believing them if there was ever something serious to happen. But just now I don't know whether they are telling the truth or lies, and I don't want to punish them for telling the truth when I have doubts. Just now I just send them to their room for time out and no telly etc but it doesn't seem to be working. I have told them that if they lie, I will doubt them when they are telling the truth, but doesn't seem to be sinking in.Just looking for ideas or advice from parents who have went through this before.

[Alrock]

Have tried asking them why they lied?
Getting to the bottom of their reasoning would be a good way of ensuring it doesn't happen again.

[whitewitch]

Yes have tried this, and i get told it is because they don't want to get in trouble. And I don't know how many times I have told them that they never get in trouble or telling the truth, just for the 'thing' they have done, when they have lied they get double the punishment, but isn't working, hence why I am asking for advice.

[squidge]

Children lie because they dont want to get in trouble or to get someone else in trouble. Its not usually any mor complicated than that. Often asking them outright whether they have done something and at the same time reminding them how much more trouble they will be in if they lie can make them tell the truth. At 8 you might also find the " mummy is very disappointed" might work depending on the child. Rest assured its often just a developmental phase and it will pass.

[golach]

What punishments do you give out for your child lying? A wee White lie or a more serious one? Thanks
Thats what is called learning to be a parent. You have to decide. We are not all given the "Perfect Parent Manual". We all have made mistakes in this field, that is how you become a better parent.

[Dadie]

I caught Lauren out last night...she lied about eating her dinner..she fed it to the dog.
So pudding/snacks/icecream (icecream van night was last night) were all witheld until the truth was told (and a new dinner had to be eaten before anything else).
Then I explained that some human foods were very dangerous for dogs and made her apologise to the dog.

Iona isnt very good at lying yet....
She is very easily found out and will usually tell me she has been bad anyway...:lol:
Writing her own name on the wall was a big giveaway...

I suppose the punishment has to fit the crime...wee lies loss of some priviliges..big lies grounding/house arrest/loss of pocket money etc...while stressing that the punishment is doubled because of the lies as well as the deed and if the truth was told in the first place you wouldnt have been so angry.

[Alrock]

I know....
Why not tell them that if you think that they are lying you will take them onto the Jeremy Kyle show for a lie detector test... that's sure to scare the hebegebes out of them....
http://fc04.deviantart.com/fs24/f/2008/021/4/c/devil_laghin_by_Scotsgirl_606.gif

[octane]

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3054/2635049104_61c4771f6c_z.jpghttp://www.fourlugthugs.com/images/smilies/2%20thumbs%20up%20smiley.jpg

[brandy]

sam has been known to tell a story or twelve! *laughs*
but we have finally got it thru his head.. that he will never get in trouble for telling us the truth..
but if we catch him in a lie.. then fire and brimstone will be rained down.
Usually, what happens if he has done something and gotten into trouble for it.. and then tells us the truth of the matter.. we sit and talk about it..
why it was done, why it shouldnt have been done and the ins and outs of the situation..then usually end of story.
if he has told a lie and tried to cover it up.. well thats when the punishment comes.. no xbox, no friends, no life outside 4 very boring walls and lots of chores and early bedtimes!
there is always exceptions to every rule.. but it tends to work ok!
but parenting has a very heavy learning curve.. and the rules are always changing!