View Full Version : Installing Wife

22-Jan-12, 08:16
Subject: Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. There was no mention of this phenomenon on the product's web site or on its packaging at the time of purchase. In addition, Wife 1.0 has installed itself into all my other programs, launching during system initialization and causing it to monitor all my other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 4.5 and Beerbash 2.2.1 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can not seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I really enjoyed playing with Girlfriend 1.0 and I thought that upgrading would result in even greater enjoyment of the program. Now I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but uninstall does not work. Can you help me?

Concerned User

Dear Sir:

This is a very common problem men complain about but it is mostly due to the end user's product misconception. Wife 1.0 is a great product but it is very high maintenance. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
In actuality, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run everything. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 any more than you can go back to a 386 or DOS.

Some have tried to override the system by installing Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but they inevitably end up with greater problems than the ones they were trying to cure. (Look in your manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child Support/Garnished Earnings".)

Having inadvertently installed Wife 1.0 myself some time ago, I recommend that you do what most users do, which is to keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I also suggest that you read the entire manual section on General Protection Faults (GPF's). Basically, it tells you that you must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur.

In most situations, the best course of action is to push "Shift-Apologize-Reset" as soon as lockup occurs. Generally, the system will run smoothly for continued periods of time as long as you take the blame for all GPF's.

Creator Tech Support