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Do u have kids?
Do they argue or is it just mine?
All my kids do is argue from morning til night, they never c eye to eye, the only time i get a break from it is when they r at school and i dread the holidays
They argue about anything and everything
I have heard a few parents saying their kids don't argue but i find it hard to believe
Does your kids fight and argue?
I just want to c how many kids do argue with their brothers and sisters, so i know its not only mine!!
YES !! All the time - you are not alone, but dont you remember when you were little ?
Keep your chin up and go with the flow
SD
Tear lumps out of each other. All the time.
[mad] were none of you ever young :mad:
of course we were but we got hammered for arguing and learnt not to do it or we got it again, but now a days u aren't allowed hitting, so all u can do is send them to bed and what difference does it make NONE coz they argue even more when sent to bed , u can't win!!
i totally agree you should be alloud to hit them never did the older generation any harm, children these days are well out of hand
Och come on now, there's no need to hit them for arguing !
Use your skills and change the subject - channel that energy into something more constructive. Or tell them to stop right now ! or else...........a gift will be taken from their Christmas stocking.
I'm a granny and I still argue with my sisters - we thrive on it.
The Angel Of Death
16-Dec-04, 10:32
i totally agree you should be alloud to hit them never did the older generation any harm, children these days are well out of hand
Totally agree and thats coming from a youngster (well 25) i remember getting chased out the house by my maw and a brush and being threatened with the "childrens home" on more than a few occasions and once them being phoned as well
My brother had to hide the welly boots as well cause he kept getting them all the time
I remember my cousin and his brother living on fear of "carole" the belt it kept them in line for quite a while untill the "got rid" of it
Kids today have it to easy cant do anything to them good clip round the ear never hurt no one at all did it !!!
Yes linzy mine all argue
I have a 15 year old a 14 year old and a 9 year old.
Arguing is something i have learned to live with. If it gets out of hand i have been known to land a resounding slap. I take no sides they are all as bad as each other. The little one can turn on the waterworks to get his broither into trouble and when they come to me crying i put up my hand and say -"sort it out between you" or whell what do you expect cos they have usually done something as well. I do intervene occasionally, if there is likely to be any physical violence i will step in and stop it. I have been known to bang their heads together and to be honest the threat of that is usually enough to stop their nonsense - it doesnt need to be hard just enough to surprise them.
Finally as they get older they seem to be doing it less and less and life is getting easier.
It seems to be my daughter who is 14 going on 40 and my son who is 12 that fight the most, she is like their mother not me, she hits them, kicks them, ( them meaning i have an 11yr old aswell) she tells them what to do the whole time, and when i shout at her for it i get answered back and i just want to hit her, but what can u do??
She is in her room most of the time when she is home with her friends, out of my road
I have tried stuff like we will go a run somewhere if u don't argue for a day,coz out here in castletown there is nothing for them to do, but that doesn't make any difference at all they still do it [mad] [mad] [mad] [mad]
I was the same when i was young to but i think i will say sorry to my mum for all the hell i put her through, now i know what its like and my kids will understand when they grow up and have their kids, so i hope they will come to me and say sorry to!!
SORRY MUM :( :( :( :(
The Angel Of Death
16-Dec-04, 13:41
Try duct tape !!! over the gob and hog tie them together and fire them in the same room that way they will learn to appreciate each other failing that you will get p and q for a while !!!
LOL that sounds a good idea
but what can u do??
This is going to sound awful but if she needs a slap then give her one. If you dont do it as a rule then it will have more impact. I would suggest a short sharp slap on the cheek for answering back. Dont be mistaken i am not advocating that you punch your daughter in the face but i do beleive that if she is rude to you or answers you back more than is acceptable you have to make her see you are serious. If she is doing what i would call "gobbing off" then you should slap her face once sharply. Warn her if you like - something like "if you dont stop this behaviour i will slap you" If it works you will get a sharp intake of breath and then tears. YOu will then need to leave her to take iin what has just hjappenmed before you can talk to her calmly and explain why you had to do that before giving her a cuddle. You might find that neaxt time the threat of it is enough.
I have to say that i rarely ever have to smack my boys these days although i have been known to sit on them now and agin to ensure they calm down - those of you who know me know that i am a BIG girl and can probably imagine that this quite effective as a strategy.
I dont know the law on a sharp and simple slap but i dont think its right that my children should lay down the law in my house and i have found a smack to be effective and efficient as part of my methods of discipline.
Sounds very controlled doesnt it - i wont tell you about the time i threw a plate at my oldest one :~( - im only human after all !!!! It didnt hit him it did however break into a million pieces and i was vacuuming it up for days!!!
Thanx for that squidge, u r right, i will give it a try!!
Thats ok linzy sweetie - we mums have to stick together its bloody hard work!!!!
I never used to get on with my sister, until she went to university.Mum was always driven mad when we pushed each other down the stairs etc!(seriously). We were kept apart a lot.In the last 4 yrs or so since we both left home we get on and even buy each other birthday prezzies, and have even been known to socilise and do other things together.
Squidge!!!!!! :eek: [evil] [para] , I never thought I would see the day, that you would advocate slapping a child, I am so glad to see that your are only human and that you sometime do fall off the pedestal I have imagined you to always have been on. [lol]
As for the plate incident, I remember winding my Mum up once and she threw a poker at me which stuck in the wall not me, so I got a bigger clout from my Dad when he came home for causing a hole in the wall. :(
Golach
Golach Darling
That just goes to show that you never really pay attention at all. You will have found me to be an advocate of smacking when delivered as part of a punishment regime in a loving and caring family. Im not quite "spare the rod and spoil the child" but i do beleive that there is a point where a smack is appropriate and i have used it to good effect many times. You know I am human i am sure
[lol] xxxxxxxxxxx
Squidge,
are Angels human? :D
Golach
golach
is that your way of telling me i am an angel? Oh you are sooooooooo kind
kisses
[quote="AR"]I never used to get on with my sister,
Nor did i,any of the 2 of them, but 1 lives in Aberdeen now and i only c her twice a year, and we get on great now and my other sister moved to Oxford to go to university for 5yrs she now has letters after her name, then she emigrated to Australia and so i haven't seen her for 15yrs, we have lost touch with each other as i have moved and she doesn't know where i am, and i lost her address, she hasn't seen 3 of my kids and they ask about her 2
I miss her, so any1 on here from Australia let me know and i know Australia is a very big country but u never know who knows who!!
newlabeluk
16-Dec-04, 21:32
Argue....LOL.
I've a 20yrs old and an 11yrs old and it's cat & dog time most often. I sometimes think he's the parent not me! I dread her first date her Dad and Brother will be waiting for the lad to bring her home!
The funny thing i've found though is they are well behaved/polite and courteous to each other when they are elsewhere. Grandparents/aunts & uncles have no trouble with them. As soon as I arrive they start to 'blame' & 'pick' at each other.
Think i could just leave & see what happens???
:roll:
hiya,
i understand the arguing and fighting part as i am the oldest of seven! 2 girls and 5 boys . We fought all the time and sometimes when we were younger say between teh ages or 8-13 we would get into drag out no holds barred. i remember bloody noses and black eyes quite often until we reached our teenage years and just started verbally abusing each other. we are all very close and even in the worst of fights we would stand together against an outsider *grins* however the one thing we NEVER did was talk back to my mom!! God forbid! my mom use to tell me that she brought me into this world and she could take me out of it *laughs* i have to admit i can only remember a handful of times i was ever spanked, and once i got past about 8 i wasnt ever smacked again for something. My mums form of discipline is what i share, once you get past the child stage.
You have to feed them clothe them and shelter them everything else is a privalige!
have you tried taking everything away from her?
you know she dosent need a phone tv video games computer or friends over.
make her sit in her room for a couple days with no entertainment and see how she does.
if her mates call tell them she is unavalibe for X-ammount of time and not to call back til then.
when i was grounded as a teenager i got up went to school came straight home did homework all the chores and straight to my room .. that sure changed my idea on a lot of things. and besides no one can say you are abusing your child you are giving them everything they need your not hitting them your are just punishing them for what theve done wrong.
however i do remember when i was about 15 i thought i was something and argued with my mom.. i ended up calling her a bitch and she slapped me backwards. i was on my butt stunned for about 30 sec. that was the first and only time my mum raised her hand to me in anger! she told me she was my mother and by God i was going to respect her!!
there was no question... lets just say i have never said that to my mother again!!
jellybean
17-Dec-04, 12:23
If trying the other suggestions don't work, then how about showing your daughter this post, to let her see how much her behaviour bothers you. Worth a try??????
well you could try asking nicely rather than ranting on here :evil
Do u have kids?
Do they argue or is it just mine?
All my kids do is argue from morning til night, they never c eye to eye, the only time i get a break from it is when they r at school and i dread the holidays
They argue about anything and everything
I have heard a few parents saying their kids don't argue but i find it hard to believe
Does your kids fight and argue?
I just want to c how many kids do argue with their brothers and sisters, so i know its not only mine!!
My advice is punch the living daylights out of them, then all you have to dread is 'visiting times' not the holidays!!
friendlymel
31-Dec-04, 10:02
hi im new here so i am going into some of the topics and posting when i can so any help would be gr8 thanks!
i too agree the kids are out of hand these days and us parents are like the kids and the kids are the adults this no smacking is ridiculas, it never hurt me or my brother and 5 sisters, im the eldest, it tought us respect, and not to be cheeky these days they are telling the parents what to do and telling the teachers what to do u carnt even walk down the street at times they are so cheeky i agree with a smack it dosent harm them and i too agree if anyone is sending there child to there bedroom for punishment remove everything tv dvd pc etc it worked for mine and hated it but tough they have to learn we was never cheeky we was polite to our elders and knew are manners, i remember my mam i was on apunishment and it was to school, home and bed cor i hated it laughs but a smack here n there but there again nowadays the kids are taking action against there parents i really would hate to have a child this day and age
ŠAmethyst
01-Jan-05, 10:45
I remember getting a smack. Not a hit, a smack. A short sharp slap to put me in my place. I didn't get that often. Most of the time I got grounded.
It seems to me that my younger siblings get it so much easier.
My brother and sister wind me up no end. They know what buttons to push. So I try my best to keep out of their way.
These days, even though I'm now spending my last month as a teenager, I'm still arguing with everyone (and everything including my dog and even inanimate objects lol). I don't expect to stop being a difficult wee thing in my 20's though! I'll still give as good as I get.
Part of my problem is that for nearly 10 years I was an only child. Then my brother came along, and soon after, my sister. I lived in Inverness and had few friends. It was too much for me really.
These days I argue over the politics in the home. That our mother never raises her hand to my siblings, they never get sent to their room, they're rarely grounded... yet my siblings could be biting our mother and they'd only hear a raised voice.
I don't know how people do it, but my good friends children are VERY well behaved! My bosses kids are delightful.
But no matter what, it could be a very big mistake to liken any child with an angel.
Tugmistress
01-Jan-05, 19:27
i wasn't going to post anyhting on this subject, but i think i will now after reading some of the comments that have been made.
we have a daughter (now 13) that nearly a year ago gave us hell, but i shall start at the begining.
when bringing our daughter up, there was non of this silly law about not smacking. if she deserved one she got it, usually across the back of the thigh like i used to get. we lived in a big city and when she started school i did not like the arrangement of religions in the classroom, basically she was one of 3 white kids in a class f 42. we moved area and went to live in a village, whole school population was 65 kids in total. she got on well and made friends easily. then we moved into a city again (due to work) and she did her last year of junior school and first couple of months of senior school in the city. wow, what a change. again she made friends easily, but the cheek, the stealing, the swearing, the answering back was atrocious. she got a slap across the back og the leg, grounded, tv removed from bedroom, anything i could think of but nothing worked. we moved up here as i got offered a job, she started to improve again with her attitude, but then all hell broke loose last february. (we have now moved into the no smacking age if you hadn't gathered)
she had been grounded for stealing from us, but went out of the house and down to the police station and reported both of us for physical abuse. we knew nothing of this until we came back from shopping and she was not in the house. she would not answer her phone. about 3 hours later we got a phone call from cid letting us know she was in local authority care and allegations had been made. to cut a long story short, the charges were dropped against us, she was dumped back on our doorstep in june, and nowshe is cheeky, ungrateful and expects everything on a plate. i dare not even ground her as i don't want to go through all that again, i still can't stand to be around her at times for all the hurt and broken trust she has given us.
however you bring up your kids, they can be as well behaved as angels in other people's company, but in our case, it was the friends influence that got her. Vet your kids friends very closely. normally squabbling would have been a god send to us.
:o) I had two children, a boy and a girl, they fought all the time and it was hard bringing them up, especially on my own. But now they are in their thirties they are close, which is good. One thing I would like to say is, despite all the problems, enjoy your kids while you have them. Unfortunately they grow up and leave home, and the house becomes so quiet and empty and can be very lonely, especially at this time of year. Enjoy your kids now despite all the hassle they give you. I wish I could turn the clock back and have my kids atg home again. :(
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