One man & his dog

[willowbankbear]

An Aberdonian was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck Only a
sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised
that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal
companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds
the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely
Aberdonian. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the
man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but
there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the
man had ever seen.


She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her
back to health.

When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening
beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening red sky, cirrus clouds, a
warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the Aberdonian started to get "those feelings" again.

He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and,
realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman,
cautiously, and whispered in her ear,
































"Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

[willowbankbear]

http://www.gersforum.co.uk/board/images/icons/icon1.gif A Letter From An Irish Mother
Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this slowly because I know you can't read fast. You wont know the house when you get home, 'cos we've moved.

Your Father has a lovely new job with 700 men under him - he cuts grass at the cemetery. There was a washing machine at the new house, but it's not working too good. Last week I put in 12 shirts, pulled the chain and I haven't seen them since.

Your sister, Colleen had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out if it's a boy or girl, so I don't know if you're an uncle or aunt.

Your Uncle Mick drowned last week in a vat of Whisky at the Dublin Distillery. His mates tried to save him, but he fought them off bravely. He was cremated and it took four days to put the fire out.

I saw the doctor last week and your Father went with me. Doc put a glass tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for five minuets. Your Father wanted to buy it from him. It only rained twice this week, first for four days the second for three days.

We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the final payment on your Grandmother's grave wasn't paid in seven days - up she comes.

Your loving Mother XXXX

P.S. I was going to send you 10 punt, but I'd already sealed the envelope.

[Whitewater]

Your in good form tonight!!

[George Brims]

I wonder where you're from Willowbankbear. You seem to have fallen into that awful misconception that the City of Aberdeen has people with unnatural urges towards sheep. I know the supporters of assorted central belt fitba teams like to call the Dons supporters "sheep". Why they say this when Aberdeen is a fishing port with a big section of the oil industry I'll never know ("cod" or "roughnecks", anyone?). Probably just jealous because the Dons are so good. Aye, that'll be it...

Just substitute "a man from Sutherland" and the story will make sense.