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dunderheed
24-Oct-06, 10:18
To all parents of teenagers....



A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad."

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, John.


P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

willowbankbear
24-Oct-06, 10:50
That was on here 2 weeks ago Dunderheed, I beat ye to it:Razz

Ann
24-Oct-06, 13:42
That was on here 2 weeks ago Dunderheed, I beat ye to it:Razz

And it is still brilliant! :)

Billy Boy
24-Oct-06, 14:24
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"

Cedric Farthsbottom III
24-Oct-06, 14:33
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"

:lol: :lol: ........hee-hee!!!

Man asks his 3 year old whats the first line in the Bible.

The kid replies.......First Edition

Bobinovich
24-Oct-06, 14:55
A bit off topic but during a recent trip to Inverness we were driving past the Causewaymire windfarm and our 4-year-old daughter said of the closest turbine "Look that one is stopped and they've got the lid off. Must be to change the batteries". [lol]

If that wasn't enough, just coming to the the end of the same road she pointed out the Buolfruich windfarm and proclaimed excitedly that "They must be following us!"

My sides are still aching :lol:

Cedric Farthsbottom III
24-Oct-06, 14:59
A bit off topic but during a recent trip to Inverness we were driving past the Causewaymire windfarm and our 4-year-old daughter said of the closest turbine "Look that one is stopped and they've got the lid off. Must be to change the batteries". [lol]

If that wasn't enough, just coming to the the end of the same road she pointed out the Buolfruich windfarm and proclaimed excitedly that "They must be following us!"

My sides are still aching :lol:

The humour fae kids....best humour ye can get!!!!.........LOL

Cedric Farthsbottom III
24-Oct-06, 15:04
At 14 I asked my girlfriend for a game of Guess Who.....she gave me a kiss and we played.

At 15 I asked my girlfriend for a game of Monopoly.....she gave me a kiss and we played.

At 16 I asked my girlfriend for a game of Ker Plunk....she gave me a kiss and we played.

At 17 I had got into Scottish Music and asked if she wanted to Strip the Willow....she slapped me in the face.

Teenage love....ye cannae win!!!!:lol: :lol:

Billy Boy
24-Oct-06, 15:10
An older couple had a son, who was still living with them.

The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable

to decide about his career path, so they decided to do a small

test.

They took a 10 pound note, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey,

and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping

he would think they weren't at home.

The father told the mother, "If he takes the money, he will be

a businessman; if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest; but

if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be

a drunkard."

So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited

nervously, peeping through the keyhole they saw their son

arrive home.

He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later.

Then, he took the 10 pound note, looked at it against the

light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the

Bible, flicked through it, and took it also. Finally, he

grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff

to be assured of the quality, then he left for his room

carrying all the three items.

The father slapped his forehead, and said, "Damn! It's even

worse than I ever imagined..."

"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.

"He's gonna be a politician!" the father replied.

dunderheed
24-Oct-06, 17:27
That was on here 2 weeks ago Dunderheed, I beat ye to it:Razz
ach sorry, maybe i should have read all the threads posted when i was on holiday

Billy Boy
24-Oct-06, 18:10
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice." "Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"[lol]

lin
24-Oct-06, 18:45
:lol: All very funny made me laugh