Sniffer Dog

[Kingetter]

A man is sitting in an airliner, which is about to take-off when another man with a Labrador Retriever occupies the 2 empty seats beside him.
The Labrador is situated in the middle, and the first man is looking quizzically at the dog when the second man explains that they work for the airline.
The airline rep said, "Don't mind Sniffer; he's a sniffing dog, the best there is; I'll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work."
The plane takes off and levels out when the handler says to the man, "Watch this." He tells the dog, "Sniffer, search."
Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the handler's arm.
He says, "Good boy." The airline rep turns to the man and says, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of this and her seat number for the police who will apprehend her on arrival.
"Fantastic!" replies the first man. Once again he sends Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat, and places two paws on the handler's arm.
The airline rep says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again I'm making a note of this and the seat number."
"I like it!" says the first man. A third time the rep sends Sniffer to search the aisles.
Sniffer goes up and down the plane and after a while sits down next to someone. Sniffer comes racing back, jumps up onto his seat, and poops all over the aisle and the seat.
The guy is really grossed out by this behaviour from a supposedly well-trained sniffing dog and asks, "What the hell is going on with this stupid dog?
The handler nervously replies, "He's just found a bomb!

[northener]

The passengers are all settling into the seats prior to take off. usual scene, people chatting, getting comfortable and looking around.

A hush settles over the passengers as they look around. Moving up the aisle from the rear entrance of the plane towards the cockpit come the Pilot and the First officer.

Both are wearing really thick dark glasses, the pilot taps along the side of the seats with a white stick whilst the first officer is being led by what is obviously a guide dog. Both men are looking straight ahead whilst smiling and saying 'hello' repeatedly.

A nervous ripple of subdued laughter flows through the aeroplane as people look at each other to make sure it's a joke.

The cockpit door shuts behind the two men and people begin to relax as the engines fire up.

The captain gives his usual reassuring speech about the weather and length of the flight - everyone gets back to normal.

The plane begins to pick up speed as it goes down the runway, faster....faster...and faster - with no sign of leaving the ground. The passengers begin to panic - the end of the runway is rapidly approaching at 160mph and the jet is still on the ground.

People begin to panic, screaming and crying and then - right at the last possible moment at the very end of the runway - the jet lifts effortlessly into the sky.

A huge sigh of relief and laughter washes over the passengers as they realise just how stupid they have been in thinking they were going to die.

In the cockpit, the pilot, still wearing his dark glasses, says to his first officer-


" You know something Dave, one day they're not going to scream and then we're all gonna die..."