Methane - It may get you in the end!

[Errogie]

Well folks I've just heard a mannie on the radio (a scientist) say that methane is 20 times more harmful than CO2 to our atmosphere and that the Government really has to be doing something about the amounts being produced by cows, sheep and goats in the countryside.

This made me sit up for I guess we all produce the same gas as our digestive tracts process the last meal so being a good brain washed, bicycle riding, vegetable eating environmentalist I crossed my legs and began to think about how I might save the planet from this dread effect. Inevitably the pressure became too much and I succumbed but what is one to do?

Obviously a careful dietary selection avoiding the usual culprits from Mr. Heinz might help but what is the answer and how many icebergs have sheered off the Antartic ice shelf as a result of injudicious consumption of the wrong foods. Perhaps one answer would be a new rating symbol on food packaging something like a whoopee cushion and of course a new tax on suspect products.

Another connundrum for the green conscienced orger!

[WeeBurd]

Well folks I've just heard a mannie on the radio (a scientist) say that methane is 20 times more harmful than CO2 to our atmosphere and that the Government really has to be doing something about the amounts being produced by cows, sheep and goats in the countryside.

This made me sit up for I guess we all produce the same gas as our digestive tracts process the last meal so being a good brain washed, bicycle riding, vegetable eating environmentalist I crossed my legs and began to think about how I might save the planet from this dread effect. Inevitably the pressure became too much and I succumbed but what is one to do?

Obviously a careful dietary selection avoiding the usual culprits from Mr. Heinz might help but what is the answer and how many icebergs have sheered off the Antartic ice shelf as a result of injudicious consumption of the wrong foods. Perhaps one answer would be a new rating symbol on food packaging something like a whoopee cushion and of course a new tax on suspect products.

Another connundrum for the green conscienced orger!

Errogie, your post has certainly made me chuckle! [lol]

[Mister Squiggle]

No beans, no cabbage, no beer ... what a grim life!
Anyone watching QI last week would also have found out that, as kangaroos do not produce methane, scientists are endeavouring to locate and tinkle with the relevant kangaroo DNA to see whether this can be transferred to cows, in order to stop them passing wind.
I was a bit peturbed. It sounds great if it can work (and yes, the program mentioned methane from cows being a major environmental threat), but imagine the coos leaping all over Caithness. We'd need taller fences, for starters.

[percy toboggan]

If only cows could masticate more then the problem would be halved.
The figures are indeed staggering.

[Billy Boy]

even preacher's are doing some damage:eek: http://www.zippyvideos.com/7715244794371096/fartingpreacherfartharder/

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Well folks I've just heard a mannie on the radio (a scientist) say that methane is 20 times more harmful than CO2 to our atmosphere and that the Government really has to be doing something about the amounts being produced by cows, sheep and goats in the countryside.

This made me sit up for I guess we all produce the same gas as our digestive tracts process the last meal so being a good brain washed, bicycle riding, vegetable eating environmentalist I crossed my legs and began to think about how I might save the planet from this dread effect. Inevitably the pressure became too much and I succumbed but what is one to do?

Obviously a careful dietary selection avoiding the usual culprits from Mr. Heinz might help but what is the answer and how many icebergs have sheered off the Antartic ice shelf as a result of injudicious consumption of the wrong foods. Perhaps one answer would be a new rating symbol on food packaging something like a whoopee cushion and of course a new tax on suspect products.

Another connundrum for the green conscienced orger!

Good post and thread Errogie....the guilt I feel from farting.To think that I thought that farting only had problems wi obiron's nose,to think I have been melting icebergs as well.I can't live wi masel now!!!:lol:

[Tiger Jones]

Another connundrum for the green conscienced orger!
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

[Errogie]

Mister Squiggle, beware any genetic experiments carried out by well intentioned Australians. This is the nation that introduced cane toads to keep down pests in their sugar cane crop and when that was done the critters turned their attention on other more innocent widlife and multiplied exceedingly to become a new public enemy. I mean what Darwinian triggers lurk in a country which produced the duck billed platypus and where your bath water doesn't run out decently.
So if they get it wrong and our cows start jumping with jet propulsion assistance and a following wind well all I can say is they'd better look out in Orkney and further afield.

[Rheghead]

Methane is only a minor component of the average fart. The major components put together are nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen and hydrogen.:Razz :Razz

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Spent a holiday at my uncles Dairy Farm,two weeks of helping out and trying ma best.In two weeks not one fart fae a coo.....not even a meesly one.Did one masel',swear a cow looked at me as if tae say 'Mind yer manners young man'


Global warmin wi methane.Its us humans to blame,no the coos.C'mon the coos....copyright Chewin' the Fat!!!:lol: :lol:

[grantyg]

Like my nana used to say
"it`s better to parp and stink a little than hold it in and be a cripple!"

mind you she did introduce me to woodpecker at the age of 8 ???

[Billy Boy]

Methane is only a minor component of the average fart. The major components put together are nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen and hydrogen.

so in other word's, if i ignite my next fart, i run the risk of singeing my bum fluff lol:Razz [lol]

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

so in other word's, if i ignite my next fart, i run the risk of singeing my bum fluff lol:Razz [lol]

Yep ye sure do Mr B.....but then ye will have lived.LOL

[Billy Boy]

Yep ye sure do Mr B.....but then ye will have lived.LOL

lol the next time there's a org get together i will give it a try and make it my party piece:eek: and you can bring your bottle's and play name that tune:lol:

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

lol the next time there's a org get together i will give it a try and make it my party piece:eek: and you can bring your bottle's and play name that tune:lol:

A "blast" fae the past that one.Me and ma farty bottles....thanks for the memory amigo....LOL LOL

[sam]

just had a thought mr billy boy & cedric, you could get together and start your own band ( with wind instruments ofcourse) the methane boys your number 1 song could be farting all over the world:Razz :lol:

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

just had a thought mr billy boy & cedric, you could get together and start your own band ( with wind instruments ofcourse) the methane boys your number 1 song could be farting all over the world:Razz :lol:

LoL...or our latest rendition....."It wisnae a poo until we followed through"

[sam]

FART IN A BOTTLE! BUILD UP OF REAL FARTS!!
Starting price: £0.10; postage: £1.00; Final price: £0.79.
this auction is a genuine auction, it is a bottle of collected farts over the christmas and january period. i feel the bottle has no more capacity for any more farts. still to this day i have not had a wiff inside the bottle and was very tempted,but i thought id save the experience for somebody else. this is genuine and i can promise you there is real methane gas in there from xmas. the winning bidder should either keep it for generations to come or open it and take a good old sniff.
happy bidding and good luck!!

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

FART IN A BOTTLE! BUILD UP OF REAL FARTS!!
Starting price: £0.10; postage: £1.00; Final price: £0.79.
this auction is a genuine auction, it is a bottle of collected farts over the christmas and january period. i feel the bottle has no more capacity for any more farts. still to this day i have not had a wiff inside the bottle and was very tempted,but i thought id save the experience for somebody else. this is genuine and i can promise you there is real methane gas in there from xmas. the winning bidder should either keep it for generations to come or open it and take a good old sniff.
happy bidding and good luck!!

79p for a fart sam!!!!!!:lol: Mine are free,postage and package included:lol:

[sam]

http://www.geocities.jp/takasusyachou/fart2/sinkeisuijaku2/gamer.html

[Kingetter]

79p for a fart sam!!!!!!:lol: Mine are free,postage and package included:lol:
Is that Airmail?

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Is that Airmail?

:lol: :lol: .Or local,as long as I've no been at the brussel sprouts Kingetter.They ones are always posted....'Return to sender'

[sam]

Farting with style takes practice,
Perfection takes time; it's a gift,
You've first got to learn all the basics,
Like pushing one out in a lift.


Those silent but violent are classics,
With friends it's a really good game,
Fart in a crowd at a party,
Then watch to see who gets the blame.


Now once your technique has been mastered,
You'll know what your bottom can do,
But ALWAYS remember - don't push too hard,
Because one day you might follow through !!!!

[Kingetter]

.Or local,as long as I've no been at the brussel sprouts Kingetter.They ones are always posted....'Return to sender'

Awfy hard to get em back in once they've 'escaped' isn't it? ;)

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Awfy hard to get em back in once they've 'escaped' isn't it? ;)

It wisnaene me Kingetter.Wis that you!!!! :lol:

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Farting with style takes practice,





Perfection takes time; it's a gift,
You've first got to learn all the basics,
Like pushing one out in a lift.


Those silent but violent are classics,
With friends it's a really good game,
Fart in a crowd at a party,
Then watch to see who gets the blame.


Now once your technique has been mastered,
You'll know what your bottom can do,
But ALWAYS remember - don't push too hard,


Because one day you might follow through !!!!


Classic poem Sam.It wisnae me though:lol:

[Errogie]

Now now guys this started as a serious thread and here you are talking about playing tunes on wind instruments while the planet burns.

I've heard there was a famous 19th century music hall artist who could produce tunes without any assistance from his vocal chords and I know that someone is now bound to provide us with his details within the space of a few posts.

[Kingetter]

It wisnaene me Kingetter.Wis that you!!!! :lol:
Ah'm downwind of you so it canna be but when I find whoever it was :(

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

Now now guys this started as a serious thread and here you are talking about playing tunes on wind instruments while the planet burns.

I've heard there was a famous 19th century music hall artist who could produce tunes without any assistance from his vocal chords and I know that someone is now bound to provide us with his details within the space of a few posts.

Now funny ye say this Errogie!!:lol: Cos watched the film 'Amadeus',now Mozart was a classic musician,but this film made him oot to be a connoisseur farter.The harpsichord wi a thumpin beat.....man its just came to me....Mozart invented RAVE!!!!!:lol:

[Billy Boy]

http://www.amontillado.it/foto/tablets.jpg

[Kingetter]

funny thing about names - methane is also known as marsh gas, marsh is maybe bog, and we know what bog is, right?

Then there's the epitaph on a grave -
Wherever you are
Wherever you be
Be sure to let your wind go free
For keeping mine was the death of me!

[sam]

In 1887 at age 30, "Le Pétomane" first took the stage in Marseilles. The initial attempt was met with some skepticism, since "petomanie" (or "fartistry") was something of a novelty for the French. But he quickly won the audience over, and was a big success. He developed his act locally for about five years, then went on to Paris to try for the infamous Moulin Rouge. He succeeded.
http://www.damninteresting.com/wp-content/petomane_moulin_rouge.jpg"Ladies and gentlemen, I have the honor to present a session of Petomanie." Such was his introduction at the famous vanity theater on his first night. He was very finely dressed in a red coat and black satin breeches, with a pair of white gloves held in his hands. He looked quite sophisticated as he explained to the audience that the emissions he was about to produce were completely odorless, since he irrigated his colon daily. The audience was completely unprepared for what lay ahead. And so he began.
He started off with a series of fart impressions… a new bride's timid toot; her noisy, flapping emissions a week later; the solid, booming fart of a miller; and a majestic ten-second-long helping of flatulence to wrap up his introduction. He did impressions of famous people, he played songs, and he blew out candles. He did imitations of cannon fire, and reenacted a thunderstorm. And that was just the first portion of the show.
At first, the audience was astonished at the bizarre spectacle. But when the first uncontrollable laughter erupted from the crowd, it quickly spread throughout the theater. Soon the men and women were completely paralyzed with laughter, with tears streaming down their cheeks. A number of women passed out, unable to breathe in their tightly bound corsets, and had to be escorted from the theater by nurses.

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

In 1887 at age 30, "Le Pétomane" first took the stage in Marseilles. The initial attempt was met with some skepticism, since "petomanie" (or "fartistry") was something of a novelty for the French. But he quickly won the audience over, and was a big success. He developed his act locally for about five years, then went on to Paris to try for the infamous Moulin Rouge. He succeeded.
http://www.damninteresting.com/wp-content/petomane_moulin_rouge.jpg"Ladies and gentlemen, I have the honor to present a session of Petomanie." Such was his introduction at the famous vanity theater on his first night. He was very finely dressed in a red coat and black satin breeches, with a pair of white gloves held in his hands. He looked quite sophisticated as he explained to the audience that the emissions he was about to produce were completely odorless, since he irrigated his colon daily. The audience was completely unprepared for what lay ahead. And so he began.
He started off with a series of fart impressions… a new bride's timid toot; her noisy, flapping emissions a week later; the solid, booming fart of a miller; and a majestic ten-second-long helping of flatulence to wrap up his introduction. He did impressions of famous people, he played songs, and he blew out candles. He did imitations of cannon fire, and reenacted a thunderstorm. And that was just the first portion of the show.
At first, the audience was astonished at the bizarre spectacle. But when the first uncontrollable laughter erupted from the crowd, it quickly spread throughout the theater. Soon the men and women were completely paralyzed with laughter, with tears streaming down their cheeks. A number of women passed out, unable to breathe in their tightly bound corsets, and had to be escorted from the theater by nurses.

A fart without a smell.Would bring a tear to a glass eye!!!:lol:

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

http://www.amontillado.it/foto/tablets.jpg

Hope this isnae Soya sauce Mr+Mrs B.....cos in a curry this would be a LETHAL mixture!!!:lol:

[angela5]

A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady. A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and let loose a big noisy fart.

Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her "Do you by any chance have today's paper?" The lady looked at him and said, "No, but the next time we pass by a tree I'll grab you a handful of leaves.":lol:

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady. A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and let loose a big noisy fart.

Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her "Do you by any chance have today's paper?" The lady looked at him and said, "No, but the next time we pass by a tree I'll grab you a handful of leaves.":lol:

:lol: h-heee-heeeee.Now thats a cracker.Now that would melt an iceberg.LOL

[sam]

The ENGLISH FART:
A very classy fart. The sound alone distinguishes it from all other farts. There are some who will say that this is a put-on accent, but that is silly. When it comes to farting, these go around sounding like an Englishman. It happens or it doesn't. The sound it makes is a _THIP_. Sometimes it will go __THIP__THIP__. It is un- mistakable. It is probably as proper and upper class as a fart can get

The S'CUSE ME FART:
This rare fart excuses itself as it is farted. It is about as close to words as a fart can get. The sound it makes is like a little soft whisper that says "S'cuse me." The most polite of all farts and very silly when you are alone

The CHINESE FIRECRACKER FART:
This is an exceptional multiple noted fart identified by the number and variety of its noises, mostly pops and bangs. Often when you think it is all over it still has a few pops and bangs to go. In friendly company this one can get applause. Uncommon.

The CAR DOOR FART:
Either a group one or a group two fart. Very tricky. It is meant to be a concealed fart. A matter of close timing is involved, the farter trying to fart at the exact moment he slams the car door shut. It is usually a good loud fart. It is one of the funnier farts when it doesn't work, which is almost every time. It is a desperation fart and not too common.

[Kingetter]

The ENGLISH FART:
A very classy fart. The sound alone distinguishes it from all other farts. There are some who will say that this is a put-on accent, but that is silly. When it comes to farting, these go around sounding like an Englishman. It happens or it doesn't. The sound it makes is a _THIP_. Sometimes it will go __THIP__THIP__. It is un- mistakable. It is probably as proper and upper class as a fart can get

The S'CUSE ME FART:
This rare fart excuses itself as it is farted. It is about as close to words as a fart can get. The sound it makes is like a little soft whisper that says "S'cuse me." The most polite of all farts and very silly when you are alone

The CHINESE FIRECRACKER FART:
This is an exceptional multiple noted fart identified by the number and variety of its noises, mostly pops and bangs. Often when you think it is all over it still has a few pops and bangs to go. In friendly company this one can get applause. Uncommon.

The CAR DOOR FART:
Either a group one or a group two fart. Very tricky. It is meant to be a concealed fart. A matter of close timing is involved, the farter trying to fart at the exact moment he slams the car door shut. It is usually a good loud fart. It is one of the funnier farts when it doesn't work, which is almost every time. It is a desperation fart and not too common.

One (at least) missing - In the water type - entirely different and maybe like a submarine surfacing?

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

The ENGLISH FART:
A very classy fart. The sound alone distinguishes it from all other farts. There are some who will say that this is a put-on accent, but that is silly. When it comes to farting, these go around sounding like an Englishman. It happens or it doesn't. The sound it makes is a _THIP_. Sometimes it will go __THIP__THIP__. It is un- mistakable. It is probably as proper and upper class as a fart can get

The S'CUSE ME FART:
This rare fart excuses itself as it is farted. It is about as close to words as a fart can get. The sound it makes is like a little soft whisper that says "S'cuse me." The most polite of all farts and very silly when you are alone

The CHINESE FIRECRACKER FART:
This is an exceptional multiple noted fart identified by the number and variety of its noises, mostly pops and bangs. Often when you think it is all over it still has a few pops and bangs to go. In friendly company this one can get applause. Uncommon.

The CAR DOOR FART:
Either a group one or a group two fart. Very tricky. It is meant to be a concealed fart. A matter of close timing is involved, the farter trying to fart at the exact moment he slams the car door shut. It is usually a good loud fart. It is one of the funnier farts when it doesn't work, which is almost every time. It is a desperation fart and not too common.

:lol: Cracker Sam

CAITHNESS FART.....Wis that ye it wisnae me?
GLASGOW FART.......Aye mine wis louder than yours big man!!!
AYRSHIRE FART.......AHHHHHHH.......Bisto!!!!!:lol:

[sam]

There was a girl who lusted after a man. She wanted him. He asked her out for a date. He was to come to pick her up at 7pm on Saturday. At 6 55pm she felt that she had to fart. She did not want to fart in the house because she knew that it would smell and she did not want to have the man think that she had a stinky house. The fart was balled up in her intestines. It hurt. She had to fart. She developed a quick plan. When he walked her to the car he would open her door. She would fart while he walked aroud the car to his door. She would open the car window and fan all of the 'offensive' gas out of the car before he got in. The man arrived at 7pm, walked her to the car and opened the door as planned. When she got in she farted, a very loud BRAAAAAAT. She opened the window and waved her hands to fan the smell out. She was comfortable. The man got in, indicated to the back seat and said, 'Oh, by the way, I want to introduce you to my parents. They are going to eat with us'.

[Kingetter]

:lol: Cracker Sam

CAITHNESS FART.....Wis that ye it wisnae me?
GLASGOW FART.......Aye mine wis louder than yours big man!!!
AYRSHIRE FART.......AHHHHHHH.......Bisto!!!!!:lol:

HOLYROOD ....... Meeting Time/Parliamentary Questions (Right there in Auld Reekie)

[angela5]

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bath her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.


Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" They ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart. [lol]

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

HOLYROOD ....... Meeting Time/Parliamentary Questions (Right there in Auld Reekie)

Holyrood the only time that a lot of auld farts get together to DO a lot of auld farts together and then bring the roof down....who pays for it...us auld farts!!!!!:lol: :lol:

[sam]

http://www.dayoopers.com/images/fartcd02.jpgDa Yoopers Songs for Fart Lovers1. No One Here To Fart On 3:14
2. Da Chubby Club 2:35
3. She Loves To Fart 3:09
4. Grandpa Farted & Da Dog Died 1:44
5. Youíre My Favorite Turd 2:33
6. Pucker And Smell 3:08
7. Squishy Underwear 2:37
8. Carl Needs A New Rod (SKETCH) 2:00
9. If She Farts On Da First Date 2:57
10. Iím A Lonely Toilet 2:59
11. Iím A Turd 3:19
12. Da Life Of A Fart (SKETCH) 5:28
13. A Fart Can Be A Friend 2:29
14. If I Could Fart Like My Dad 1:27
15. I Never Hear My Mom Fart 2:23
16. Duel At Del Santoís (SKETCH) 5:43
17. Diarrhea 3:28
18. Someone Ripped One On -
Da Dance Floor 3:05
19. Santaís Helper (SKETCH) 1:46

you actually buy this only $13.99:lol:

[Cedric Farthsbottom III]

http://www.dayoopers.com/images/fartcd02.jpgDa Yoopers Songs for Fart Lovers1. No One Here To Fart On 3:14
2. Da Chubby Club 2:35
3. She Loves To Fart 3:09
4. Grandpa Farted & Da Dog Died 1:44
5. Youíre My Favorite Turd 2:33
6. Pucker And Smell 3:08
7. Squishy Underwear 2:37
8. Carl Needs A New Rod (SKETCH) 2:00
9. If She Farts On Da First Date 2:57
10. Iím A Lonely Toilet 2:59
11. Iím A Turd 3:19
12. Da Life Of A Fart (SKETCH) 5:28
13. A Fart Can Be A Friend 2:29
14. If I Could Fart Like My Dad 1:27
15. I Never Hear My Mom Fart 2:23
16. Duel At Del Santoís (SKETCH) 5:43
17. Diarrhea 3:28
18. Someone Ripped One On -
Da Dance Floor 3:05
19. Santaís Helper (SKETCH) 1:46

you actually buy this only $13.99:lol:

LOL hee-hee.Must admit though disagree wi No 15.I never heard my Mom fart.AYE RIGHT!!!My maw used to turn to me after fartin' and say "Even yer Dad wid be ashamed aw that one!!!!!!"

[connieb19]

Stop I'm Under The Bed!!!

[JAWS]

Well folks I've just heard a mannie on the radio (a scientist) say that methane is 20 times more harmful than CO2 to our atmosphere and that the Government really has to be doing something about the amounts being produced by cows, sheep and goats in the countryside.

This made me sit up for I guess we all produce the same gas as our digestive tracts process the last meal so being a good brain washed, bicycle riding, vegetable eating environmentalist I crossed my legs and began to think about how I might save the planet from this dread effect. Inevitably the pressure became too much and I succumbed but what is one to do?

Obviously a careful dietary selection avoiding the usual culprits from Mr. Heinz might help but what is the answer and how many icebergs have sheered off the Antartic ice shelf as a result of injudicious consumption of the wrong foods. Perhaps one answer would be a new rating symbol on food packaging something like a whoopee cushion and of course a new tax on suspect products.

Another connundrum for the green conscienced orger!Somebody should tell the clown that I have been doing something about the problem all my life despite Goverment interferance.
I must confess however that I have never eaten goat although I am assured by friends who have that it has quite a pleasant taste.

"Save the Planet! Eat More Meat!"

[Kingetter]

Now, if there was ever any doubt 'who did it' (and by the looks, still doing it!), here's yer proof - but you've been warned, its not a pretty sight -







http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i102/OpenandShut/Org/_42197310_salmondconfnewpa203.jpg

But isn't he enjoying it?:D
Maybe someone'll write a caption?

[Errogie]

Thanks Sam that was the very man I remember reading about.

Jaws, a young goat is very tasty, flavour half way between venison and lamb and lots of lean meat, goes nicely in a curry but they're much more intellignt that most other livestock, hell to keep behind a fence and just love eating trees and shrubs.

[JAWS]

Jaws, a young goat is very tasty, flavour half way between venison and lamb and lots of lean meat, goes nicely in a curry but they're much more intellignt that most other livestock, hell to keep behind a fence and just love eating trees and shrubs.
I shall look at goats in a whole new light from now on.

Just for the record, the problem of flatulence in ruminants and Global Warming was started several years ago by a Politician in New Zealand.

He suggested that there should be a tax on sheep because their production of Greenhouse Gases were one of the main causes of Global Warming.

I have since been assured by an Orger from NZ that the particular Politician was a man after my own heart and that the suggestion was made with his tongue wedged very firmly in his cheek as a comment on some of the more ridiculous suggestions concerning Global Warming.

As I have found to my cost in the past, no matter how ridiculous the suggestion, if made in the right circumstances and made with the right degree of seriousness then there is always somebody who will adopt it as their own and insist it should be followed up as a matter of great importance.

If you are very lucky, not only is there one born every minute but whole Committees of them.

At no stage do you attempt to claim credit for the idea but the odd muttering of astonishment at the "brilliance" of those giving it serious consideration can keep the entertainment going for absolutely ages.

Once you get the hang of it you soon discover that the production of methane by ruminants is a minor problem when compared to the outflow of hot air produced by humans when their egos are suitably brushed.

[Metalattakk]

Like my nana used to say
"it`s better to parp and stink a little than hold it in and be a cripple!"

mind you she did introduce me to woodpecker at the age of 8 ???

"Better an empty hoose than a bad tenant..."

:lol: