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scaraben
05-Oct-06, 12:14
I'm going to start a thread of one liners to see how many of you Orgers will add to it...here goes :

HE WHO AIMS AT NOTHING USUALLY HITS IT.

TO BELITTLE IS TO BE LITTLE.

THE GREATEST OF ALL FAULTS IS TO BE CONSCIOUS OF NONE.

BY FAILING TO PREPARE YOU PREPARE TO FAIL.

THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO DO THE WRONG THING.

There's 5 to set the ball rolling !

Geo
05-Oct-06, 12:29
Have you been watching Mystery Men? :)

unicorn
05-Oct-06, 12:40
empty vessels make the most noise.

Billy Boy
05-Oct-06, 14:02
I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not. :roll:

scorrie
05-Oct-06, 14:34
"A Prostitute and her legs are soon parted"

Billy Boy
05-Oct-06, 14:39
A feeling you feel when you feel a feeling you've never felt before

saxovtr
05-Oct-06, 15:03
do not do to others what you do not want done to you!

angela5
05-Oct-06, 15:06
A Conclusion is a place where you get tired of thinking.

Billy Boy
05-Oct-06, 18:23
A day without sunshine is like night

willowbankbear
05-Oct-06, 18:27
Go on, You only live once

sapphire
05-Oct-06, 18:32
A weekend wasted isn't a wasted weekend...someone told me this once! :lol:

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Oct-06, 21:28
"Here doll dae ye fancy breakfast?":lol: :lol:

Tiger Jones
05-Oct-06, 21:34
"Please don't assume - it could make an ass out of u and me"

Billy Boy
05-Oct-06, 21:48
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Tiger Jones
05-Oct-06, 21:50
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
Funnily enough, I was thinking about something similar earlier today but mine was... I have a photographic memory - it's just a pity it never developed.

Billy Boy
05-Oct-06, 21:56
Friction can be a drag sometimes.

Tiger Jones
05-Oct-06, 22:04
Gravity gets you down.

connieb19
05-Oct-06, 22:07
Good things come to he who waits

Tiger Jones
05-Oct-06, 22:08
Good things come to he who waits
But he who hesitates is lost :eek:

Billy Boy
05-Oct-06, 22:10
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

Tiger Jones
05-Oct-06, 22:13
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

Erm.. I expect so :lol:


Never let the sun go down on an argument.

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Oct-06, 22:16
If the life ye see before yer eyes is all green,then wipe away the bogey.

Billy Boy
05-Oct-06, 22:18
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good

Tiger Jones
05-Oct-06, 22:18
If music be the food of love, why don't rabbits play banjos?

Billy Boy
05-Oct-06, 22:20
Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Oct-06, 22:21
If music be the food of love, why don't rabbits play banjos?

:lol: :lol: Nice one.

Billy Boy
05-Oct-06, 22:26
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Oct-06, 22:33
To see how the world should be run,ask yer 5 year old.

saxovtr
05-Oct-06, 22:44
nice legs what time they open [lol] [lol]

Tiger Jones
05-Oct-06, 22:50
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

loneranger
05-Oct-06, 22:53
great minds think alike! or


fools seldom differ!

sapphire
05-Oct-06, 22:56
"Here doll dae ye fancy breakfast?"


Cedric as you posted this after me can I just ask if this is an invitation?

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Oct-06, 23:01
Cedric as you posted this after me can I just ask if this is an invitation?

Two rashers or one?[para] [para]

sapphire
05-Oct-06, 23:03
Two rashers or one?

Hey Cedric...any chance you could cut the fat off? cos I cany stand it!

PS See you in the morning! :lol: :lol:

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Oct-06, 23:14
Hey Cedric...any chance you could cut the fat off? cos I cany stand it!

PS See you in the morning! :lol: :lol:

Nae fartin' by the way!!!!!

sapphire
05-Oct-06, 23:19
Nae fartin' by the way!!!!!

I cany believe you would accuse a female of such a mingin' bodily function which is normally reserved for the male of the species!![disgust]

PS The date is OFF!;)

connieb19
05-Oct-06, 23:19
Nae fartin' by the way!!!!!
You're no expectin much are ye? How's sapphire supposed to hold it in? :roll:

Tiger Jones
05-Oct-06, 23:21
I never forget a face - but I'll make an exception in your case!

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Oct-06, 23:22
I cany believe you would accuse a female of such a mingin' bodily function which is normally reserved for the male of the species!![disgust]

PS The date is OFF!;)

Some of the loudest farts I have heard have been female!!!!LOL

connieb19
05-Oct-06, 23:23
Some of the loudest farts I have heard have been female!!!!LOL
Loud and proud, silent but violent.. :lol:

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Oct-06, 23:24
You're no expectin much are ye? How's sapphire supposed to hold it in? :roll:

Connie,everybody knows ye cannae hold whats no in yer hand!!!!:lol:

sapphire
05-Oct-06, 23:24
Some of the loudest farts I have heard have been female!!!!LOL

Yer obviously attracting the wrong wimmin then Cedric!.....:lol:

mareng
05-Oct-06, 23:25
Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in..

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. He topped himself.

Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

"Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? " "It's not unusual."

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy"

Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start."

Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad, or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round."The other one says "So are you, you fat !"

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there any more"

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam..."

Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a-salted.

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
"Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"

connieb19
05-Oct-06, 23:26
Women who say they don't fart have something to hide, why lie about it? :confused

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Oct-06, 23:26
Yer obviously attracting the wrong wimmin then Cedric!.....:lol:

:lol: Sapphire only settled down once I found ma master!!!!LOL

Cedric Farthsbottom III
05-Oct-06, 23:36
Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in..

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. He topped himself.

Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

"Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? " "It's not unusual."

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy"

Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start."

Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad, or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round."The other one says "So are you, you fat !"

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there any more"

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam..."

Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a-salted.

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
"Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"

Ye cannae beat humour ma pal:lol: :lol:

saxovtr
08-Oct-06, 15:52
word of the day is legs,fancy going round the corner to spread the word[lol]