scottish gardener

[Tom Cornwall]

did you hear about the Scottish gardener who found a trumpet in his allotment....he rooteditoot

[trinkie]

Did ye hear aboot the Minister who found greenfly on his roses?

''Come brethren, let us spray.''

[Piglet]

A Glaswegian stops before a graveyard in a Gorbals cemetery, and notices a carved tombstone declaring,"Here lies a lawyer and an honest man..."

"Ach, who'd ever think..." he murmered, "there'd be enough room fer two men in that one wee grave..."

[Billy Boy]

Two older ladies were sitting on a bench outside thurso town hall where a flower show was in progress.
One leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For £5.00 I'd take my clothes off right now and streak through that stupid flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a £5.00 note.
As fast as she could, the first little old lady fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked lady burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.
"Why, I won first prize for Best Dried Arrangement.":eek: