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Ann
08-Sep-06, 17:39
Engineers Patrick and Seamus ( Dublin mechanical engineers
were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Patrick
"but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,
and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her
pocket, took a measurement, announced, 5 metres, and walked
away.

Seamus shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde!
We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"



Revenge of the blondes.....

Billy Boy
08-Sep-06, 17:47
Q: How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard. :eek:

Billy Boy
08-Sep-06, 17:53
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener." [lol]

angela5
08-Sep-06, 18:58
Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.

Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"

Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?"

Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist.":lol:

angela5
08-Sep-06, 19:16
Q: How did the blonde burn her ear?
A: The phone rang while she was ironing.

Q: There are 17 blondes standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".

Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box?
A: A case of empties.
:lol:

laguna2
08-Sep-06, 19:59
How do you know when a blonde has been using a computer?

Correction fluid on the VDU!!!!!!!

Ann
08-Sep-06, 21:31
:confused Er, actually my joke was in favour of blondes; deliberately! (Hope there are no Irishmen looking in, lol!)

celtic 302
08-Sep-06, 21:44
dont know many blond jokes, but i know an irish one.

paddy was on a 4 engine plane, when suddenly there was a bang. the captain says over the anouncer, "ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has stopped. we are able to continue flying, but we will be 20minutes late"

10 mintues later there was another bang, and the captain was on the anouncer again, "ladies and gentlemen, our second engine has gone, but we are able to continue flying. however, we will be 1hour late"

another 10 minutes pass. the captain again on the anouncer, " ladies and gentlemen, our third enigine has gone. however we are still able to fly. we will be 2 hours late though."

after this anouncment, paddy turn to the guy beside him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "if the fourth goes, we'll be up 'ere all nite..."

RockChick84
11-Sep-06, 09:14
It's ironic that you post a joke in favour of blondes and you get people right away posting jokes against blondes, they just can't resist to do it. It's quite sad really that in the 21st Century people are still being judged by colour, and something so meaningless as hair colour too. These jokes are not funny to me having been bullied at school and called Barbie for years for being blonde. I want to be judged for my personality. Plenty of redheads and brunettes aren't intelligent aswell you know. The blonde stereotype is an unproven theory, made up decades ago by the media who love to label people. I hear comments about blondes day in day out by bitchy and malicious women who seem to hate blondes and love they have the stereotype to use against us. And men who are chauvinists and want to feel intellectually superior are bad for it too. The people who are small minded enough to believe and partake in this rubbish are the stupid ones - believing hair colour defines your intelligence and personality?! [evil]

henry20
11-Sep-06, 09:24
It's ironic that you post a joke in favour of blondes and you get people right away posting jokes against blondes, they just can't resist to do it. It's quite sad really that in the 21st Century people are still being judged by colour, and something so meaningless as hair colour too. These jokes are not funny to me having been bullied at school and called Barbie for years for being blonde. I want to be judged for my personality. Plenty of redheads and brunettes aren't intelligent aswell you know. The blonde stereotype is an unproven theory, made up decades ago by the media who love to label people. I hear comments about blondes day in day out by bitchy and malicious women who seem to hate blondes and love they have the stereotype to use against us. And men who are chauvinists and want to feel intellectually superior are bad for it too. The people who are small minded enough to believe and partake in this rubbish are the stupid ones - believing hair colour defines your intelligence and personality?! [evil]



As a blonde, I have no objections to blonde jokes. We have to have humour in the world - all jokes have to be aimed at someone.

You don't mention that the initial joke was derrogitory to Irish people!?

A world without humour would be a world full of sadness.

Piglet
11-Sep-06, 09:44
I would have to agree with henry.(Even tho im not a blonde)
But hey lets get back to the jokes.

Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible.

Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.


:lol:

angela5
11-Sep-06, 10:01
I would have to agree with henry.
but hey, let's get back to the jokes.:lol:


Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "What's a lightbulb?"

angela5
11-Sep-06, 10:03
There was a blonde and a brunette walking down the street and the brunette said oh look a dead bird and the blonde looks up.

Piglet
11-Sep-06, 10:06
How does a redhead change a light bulb?
She doesn't, she bitches until someone else does.

What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
Normal

angela5
11-Sep-06, 10:08
How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
Say something.
How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Wait 10 seconds.

Piglet
11-Sep-06, 10:12
Why is brunette considered an evil color?
When was the last time you saw a blonde witch!

Tickle
11-Sep-06, 14:31
[quote=RockChick84;133004]

21st Century
The people who are small minded enough to believe and partake in this rubbish are the stupid ones - believing hair colour defines your intelligence and personality?!

That's right, it's the 21st century.:eek:
These jokes made me laugh, they've been around for ages.
Here's mine.

Two blondes are walking down the road, when one says, "Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"[lol]

Billy Boy
11-Sep-06, 16:51
It's ironic that you post a joke in favour of blondes and you get people right away posting jokes against blondes, they just can't resist to do it. It's quite sad really that in the 21st Century people are still being judged by colour, and something so meaningless as hair colour too. These jokes are not funny to me having been bullied at school and called Barbie for years for being blonde. I want to be judged for my personality. Plenty of redheads and brunettes aren't intelligent aswell you know. The blonde stereotype is an unproven theory, made up decades ago by the media who love to label people. I hear comments about blondes day in day out by bitchy and malicious women who seem to hate blondes and love they have the stereotype to use against us. And men who are chauvinists and want to feel intellectually superior are bad for it too. The people who are small minded enough to believe and partake in this rubbish are the stupid ones - believing hair colour defines your intelligence and personality?! [evil]

lol get a grip,i would say your getting a bit paranoid about the blonde thing,it's called a JOKE if your so against these joke's why did you come and look at a thread called a" blonde joke",i dont see you in ranting in other joke threads or is it you are just "paranoid" i suggest you get some help lol,ps stop sending me ranting pm's about blonde joke's unless there good lol[lol]

henry20
11-Sep-06, 17:00
I find it disappointing if RockChick84 has been sending ranting PM's to Mr & Mrs BB.

Jokes are jokes - not aimed at certain people.

If you have to voice your feelings about jokes being in bad taste - it should be done on the forum - as you already have done RockChick84.

Have you never found a joke funny?

I don't believe that people stereotype blondes in the way you feel they do. There are blonde jokes - always will be, but no-one is naiive enough to think that all blondes have the same traits.

Why take things so personally?

willowbankbear
11-Sep-06, 17:06
lol get a grip,i would say your getting a bit paranoid about the blonde thing,it's called a JOKE if your so against these joke's why did you come and look at a thread called a" blonde joke",i dont see you in ranting in other joke threads or is it you are just "paranoid" i suggest you get some help lol,ps stop sending me ranting pm's about blonde joke's unless there good lol[lol]

Haha rotflmao, funniest thing ive read all day

Billy Boy
11-Sep-06, 17:06
I find it disappointing if RockChick84 has been sending ranting PM's to Mr & Mrs BB.

Jokes are jokes - not aimed at certain people.

If you have to voice your feelings about jokes being in bad taste - it should be done on the forum - as you already have done RockChick84.

Have you never found a joke funny?

I don't believe that people stereotype blondes in the way you feel they do. There are blonde jokes - always will be, but no-one is naiive enough to think that all blondes have the same traits.

Why take things so personally?

here here lol, well said:D

willowbankbear
11-Sep-06, 17:09
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer. [lol]

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

willowbankbear
11-Sep-06, 17:11
The Cliff And The Blondes.A smart blonde and a dumb blonde both jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first?

The dumb blonde because smart blondes don't exist.
;)

henry20
11-Sep-06, 17:13
The Cliff And The Blondes.A smart blonde and a dumb blonde both jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first?

The dumb blonde because smart blondes don't exist.
;)


Haha, I liked this one. (as a dumb blonde :lol: )

willowbankbear
11-Sep-06, 17:16
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

angela5
11-Sep-06, 17:16
lol get a grip,i would say your getting a bit paranoid about the blonde thing,it's called a JOKE if your so against these joke's why did you come and look at a thread called a" blonde joke",i dont see you in ranting in other joke threads or is it you are just "paranoid" i suggest you get some help lol,ps stop sending me ranting pm's about blonde joke's unless there good lol[lol]


LOL, that's better than the jokes above.[lol]

angela5
11-Sep-06, 17:19
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!":lol:

angela5
11-Sep-06, 17:21
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you." :lol:

willowbankbear
11-Sep-06, 17:21
Man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible ishappening and I have to talk to you about it."The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she'spoisoning me, what should I do?"The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her,I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoketo your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. Youwant my advice?"The man anxiously says, "Yes.""Take the poison," says the Rabbi

henry20
11-Sep-06, 17:23
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!":lol:


Haha, I fear RockChick84's negativity has caused a blonde joke epidemic!! (sorry, big word for a blonde - I used a dictionary :p )

angela5
11-Sep-06, 17:24
NEW INVENTIONS BY BLONDES:

The water-proof towel

Glow in the dark sunglasses

Solar powered flashlight

Submarine screen door

A book on how to read

Inflatable dart board

A dictionary index

Powdered water

Pedal powered wheel chair

Water proof tea bags

Zero proof alcohol

Reusable ice cubes

Skinless bananas

Do it yourself roadmap

angela5
11-Sep-06, 17:26
A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is angry, She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next." [lol] [lol]

Piglet
11-Sep-06, 17:33
Life is too short not to laugh. :lol:

How does a brunette turn on the light after sex ?
She opens the car door.

What's the difference between a brunette and a 747 jet ?
Some men have never been in a 747.


A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

angela5
11-Sep-06, 17:38
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."


[lol] [lol] Good one Piglet.

Piglet
11-Sep-06, 17:41
Thanks Angela5

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

angela5
11-Sep-06, 17:43
A blonde wanted to win the lotto so she prayed to god, and she lost. Next week she prayed to god again, and she lost. The week after she prayed to god, and she lost.

She said to god, why wont you let me win? God replied, How about buying a ticket first?

Piglet
11-Sep-06, 17:50
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

htwood
11-Sep-06, 17:58
Q: Why don't (insert any hair color) call 911 in an emergency?
A: He/she/they can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Quote deliberately altered.

Don't laugh, this is true. I used to dispatch for fire department in a large city, and we had a major incident where someone could not find the "11" on phone, and got basically lost in the system, dialing the operator and being transferred here and there. We started an active campaign against calling the emergency number Nine Eleven, and reminding folk to think of it as Nine One One.

UK has best system, there is no mistaking 999!

angela5
11-Sep-06, 18:07
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.

She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune..

..the Wal-Mart manager runs out and unplugs the horse.[lol]

Piglet
11-Sep-06, 18:12
lmao, Good 1 angela5 [lol] :lol:


Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night


What do you call a really smart blonde?
A golden retriever

angela5
11-Sep-06, 18:12
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.

For years, they live there, and one day they find a magic lamp.

They rub it, and sure enough, out comes a genie. The genie says "since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one."

So the brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life - I just want to go home."

POOF, she is gone.

The redhead makes her wish, "This place sucks, I want to go home too."

POOF, she is gone.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "What is the matter?"

The blonde said, "I wish my friends were here."

Piglet
11-Sep-06, 18:17
What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.


What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

angela5
11-Sep-06, 18:23
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.

The interviewer starts with the basics.

"So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying. "Um ... 22."

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.

"And can you tell us your height, please?"

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag.

She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics, something that she won't have to count, measure, or lookup.

"Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, "Cindy!"

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What were you doing when I asked you your name?"

"Oh, that!" replies the blonde," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'"[lol]

willowbankbear
11-Sep-06, 18:25
Q. How does a Blondes braincells die?
A. Alone

angela5
11-Sep-06, 18:26
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.

With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"

[lol] [lol]

connieb19
11-Sep-06, 18:36
I want to be judged for my personality. Plenty of redheads and brunettes aren't intelligent aswell you know. [evil]
This is the funniest thing I have read on the org in a long long time lol..:lol:

Piglet
11-Sep-06, 19:33
Why are there no dumb brunettes?
Peroxide.

krieve
11-Sep-06, 20:35
Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
[lol] [lol]

krieve
11-Sep-06, 20:37
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. You can't, they have always been like that.[lol] :evil

George Brims
11-Sep-06, 20:45
htwood wrote:
UK has best system, there is no mistaking 999!

Nowadays it's good - but on the old rotary dialling phones your house could burn down while you were trying to dial it!

Dusty
11-Sep-06, 21:49
A blonde dials 911 and says "My house is on fire, please hurry up".
The dispatcher says "What is your address"?
The blonde replies "I don't know, I just moved in last week"
The dispatcher says "Well how do we get there"?
The blonde replies "Duh, in the big red engine thingy".

angela5
12-Sep-06, 00:27
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The person called back."

Piglet
12-Sep-06, 10:37
There was 3 girls on the run being chased by cops, they went in a barn and hid in 3 seperate potato bags.

The cops picked up the 1st bag and the auburn says "meow meow".
The cops said there's nothing in this bag except kittens they picked up the 2nd one and the brunette says, "woof woof" The cops say there's nothing but puppys in this bag they picked up the 3rd one and the blonde says, "THERE"S NO-ONE IN HERE!"

gothlife420
12-Sep-06, 16:14
this one killed at wickhighschool well to everyone that heard it here it go's

blondes wake up in the morning and pour themselve a big glass of orange juice and sit there and stare at it u know y



" its says concentrate on the box":lol:

angela5
12-Sep-06, 16:45
this one killed at wickhighschool well to everyone that heard it here it go's

blondes wake up in the morning and pour themselve a big glass of orange juice and sit there and stare at it u know y



" its says concentrate on the box":lol:


gothlife420, welcome to the org, nice to see your first post was a blonde joke.:lol:

Piglet
12-Sep-06, 17:12
congrats gothlife420.

A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"

gothlife420
12-Sep-06, 18:03
gothlife420, welcome to the org, nice to see your first post was a blonde joke.:lol:


thanku i always wanted my first something to be blonde lol[lol] hey i just made another blonde joke on eh spot there lol

Billy Boy
12-Sep-06, 18:27
Q. Did you hear about the blonde man who had 8 vasectomies?
A. He had to -- his wife kept getting pregnant!:eek:

Tickle
13-Sep-06, 00:21
Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

golach
13-Sep-06, 10:14
A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an economy place and she will have to leave and return to her original seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I' m staying right here!"

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!"

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

The Pilot replied "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne ".

Bingobabe
13-Sep-06, 14:22
It's ironic that you post a joke in favour of blondes and you get people right away posting jokes against blondes, they just can't resist to do it. It's quite sad really that in the 21st Century people are still being judged by colour, and something so meaningless as hair colour too. These jokes are not funny to me having been bullied at school and called Barbie for years for being blonde. I want to be judged for my personality. Plenty of redheads and brunettes aren't intelligent aswell you know. The blonde stereotype is an unproven theory, made up decades ago by the media who love to label people. I hear comments about blondes day in day out by bitchy and malicious women who seem to hate blondes and love they have the stereotype to use against us. And men who are chauvinists and want to feel intellectually superior are bad for it too. The people who are small minded enough to believe and partake in this rubbish are the stupid ones - believing hair colour defines your intelligence and personality?! [evil]Im a blonde and at the end of the day there are jokes about just about everything and everyone!!!!!! Chill out rockchick i dont think that being called barbie is that bad i have heard alot of people called alot worse. So sit back and laugh at urself once in a while it shows you have a personalilty!!!!!!!!!!!

newlabeluk
13-Sep-06, 18:15
but here's a joke anyway.

"Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes.
What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith!
He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house.
They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood,
but find no marijuana. They swore at BillyBob and left.

The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Merry Christmas Buddy"

crayola
13-Sep-06, 23:49
Why is brunette considered an evil color?
When was the last time you saw a blonde witch!When I looked in a mirror last. :lol:

They sell 'em on ebay (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300020084464) Who'd have believed it?

Geo
20-Sep-06, 16:06
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap so politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question and if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."

Again she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says,

"Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00 and if I don't know the answer I will pay you $500.00"

This catches the blonde's attention and figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question.

"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer, connects his modem to the air phone and searches the net - no answer. Frustrated he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers, to no avail. After an hour he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Ann
20-Sep-06, 17:05
Yes!!!!!.....

Piglet
21-Sep-06, 00:02
good one Geo

Billy Boy
21-Sep-06, 14:34
There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

riggerboy
22-Sep-06, 05:13
pregnant blonde girl phones 999
help i`m pregnant and my waters have broke
call attendant says where are you ringing from
blonde says the waist down

Billy Boy
22-Sep-06, 10:08
Blonde Logic

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

Billy Boy
22-Sep-06, 10:11
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted but he was done with the Walmart parking lot and was going over to K-Mart next.