View Full Version : Question...
AliciaMackinnon
21-Feb-11, 21:08
Hi there all
Just a quick question,
I recently had my daughter, and lots of people are asking when Im going to have another one!
Some are saying that you shouldnt leave it too long between having your children...
How long does everyone think you should wait between having your children?
Penelope Pitstop
21-Feb-11, 21:19
Hi
There is no right or wrong length of time between children. It's what ever is right for your circumstances. Don't be pressurised into anything, you'll know when the time is right. :)
annemarie482
21-Feb-11, 21:24
you'll know when you feel ready to cope with another child, and when your child can cope with another sibling.
everyone is different.
there's exactly 2 years between my kids, and for me its been ideal, they are now 4 (boy) and 2 (girl) and the best of friends.
at 2 my son was a good help fetching things for the wee one etc.
made him feel helpful.
i'm at the stage of thinking of having my last child now. :D
There is no right and wrong. There are pros and cons for both big and small age gaps. I have quite a small age gap (20mths) between my two, thats because we sort of planned it that way. It has been hard going but they are starting to play together now and the bond they have is wonderful. Do what you feel is right for you and your family xx
ShelleyCowie
21-Feb-11, 22:06
As people have said, its totally your decision! Only when you feel ready yourself is when you will know.
Iv got my 2 step sons who are 9 + 7. There is 2 years and 1 day between them. Then my 2 kiddy winkles, Athrun is 2 and 4 months, Jay-D is 6 months.
Because my 2 are quite close iv loved it, Jay and Athrun both get bathed together so its no extra work to me, iv got the wee one into a routine that he gets fed at the same meal times as us pretty much. Everything kinda flows for me here.
I did panic at the thought of having another one, but its fine. I love it actually. but im saying NO MORE! :) Thats enough for me!
Take your time and think about it.
Do whats right for you and not other people.
Yes I know I have 3 wee ones with only 3 and a half years between the eldest and youngest.
Its hard work at the moment juggling the different stages...baby/becoming a toddler and toddler/potty training and the I am almost a big girl going to school.
But they can all play happily together or all all hell breaks out!
The girls are either thick as thieves or worst enemies at the moment, but we will have all 3 as teenagers at the same time..im dreading that bit:eek:
But too much of an age gap and it will be like doing all over again...one friend has a teenager and a baby!
Depends on whether you can afford another one or expect the state to pay.
It depends on you and not what everyone else thinks, my daughter has just turned 7 and I am currently 17 weeks pregnant, that's quite abit of an age gap, but for us we feel my daughter is at the perfect age. Every family is different..... enjoy your new bundle of Joy :)
shamrock2007
22-Feb-11, 21:07
There is no right or wrong, i've got 4yrs between my 2 & they get on great (one of each). They don't stay little for long so enjoy your wee girl & you will know when the time is right
For me i don't want another baby untill my lad is 3 years old at least. I've taken steps to ensure this by getting the concentrative implant. For me 3 years seems ideal. When the 3 years is up for my implant then we'l decide what to do.
It is entirely up to you when and if you choose to have another baby.
purplelady
22-Feb-11, 23:54
there was 23 months between my two girls which was hard work at the time , but there was 15yrs between my elest and youngest that was so much easier lol the girls were great with their bro it was like he had 3 mums , i think it is up to you the age gap and not up to anyone to judge x
Depends on whether you can afford another one or expect the state to pay.Thank goodness someone has a bit of sense.
AliciaMackinnon
23-Feb-11, 13:40
Depends on whether you can afford another one or expect the state to pay.
a little harsh maybe?
My husband is a full time carer!!! And does everything in his power to get a job! Infact he has just past his CPCS test and this was done in the mids of caring for his mother!
I however cant work as I have a young child! Although I intend to get a job after my daughter starts school! If it was pos to have a baby and work I would be one of the first in line!!
Many people would happily let the state pay for the bed they have made... however this family does not! Yes I am on income support but that will only last in the period that my daughter is not at school! After such time I will be getting a job and supporting my family!
a little harsh maybe?
My husband is a full time carer!!! And does everything in his power to get a job! Infact he has just past his CPCS test and this was done in the mids of caring for his mother!
I however cant work as I have a young child! Although I intend to get a job after my daughter starts school! If it was pos to have a baby and work I would be one of the first in line!!
Many people would happily let the state pay for the bed they have made... however this family does not! Yes I am on income support but that will only last in the period that my daughter is not at school! After such time I will be getting a job and supporting my family!
I cannot for the life of me see why on earth AliciaMackinnon should feel such opposition to her initial question that she feels it necessary to explain her personal situation to certain people on this forum !!!!!! [evil]
A wee suggestion....... a simple question requires a simple answer (though most have done this) - those of you who think you know the answers but cannot reply sensibly should then keep quiet ! :roll:
I cannot for the life of me see why on earth AliciaMackinnon should feel such opposition to her initial question that she feels it necessary to explain her personal situation to certain people on this forum !!!!!! [evil]
A wee suggestion....... a simple question requires a simple answer (though most have done this) - those of you who think you know the answers but cannot reply sensibly should then keep quiet ! :roll:
Hear hear, I think some people on this forum just deliberately set out to upset other people
oldmarine
23-Feb-11, 20:58
Hi there all
Just a quick question,
I recently had my daughter, and lots of people are asking when Im going to have another one!
Some are saying that you shouldnt leave it too long between having your children...
How long does everyone think you should wait between having your children?
I read a lot of good advice on this thread. I agree with most of them. It's up to you to decide when. I have always been advised never to rush into anything without thinking about the advantages and the disadvantages. No one is walking in your shoes. You must decide for yourself.
Who says you have to have another child? If you and your husband only want one then that is absolutely fine, it is a decision for you and your husband alone.
I feel that when people make comments like having second children or offering advice on how you ought to bring up your first child it's to avoid an embarrassing pause in conversation!
My son is two and a half and we haven't had another one yet because I don't want him to feel that I've abandoned him, I'm still having too much fun with him to want to share my time and potentially miss out on something special. I want him to be old enough to understand that he's going to be a big brother, and enjoy everything that comes with it. There is 9 years between me and my older brother (he is one of my best friends), and whilst I think that we both enjoyed the best of being an only child for a while and having a sibling, I ideally wouldn't want that size age gap if we were to be blessed with another baby.
As others have said it's each to their own.
Who says you have to have another child? If you and your husband only want one then that is absolutely fine, it is a decision for you and your husband alone.
I feel that when people make comments like having second children or offering advice on how you ought to bring up your first child it's to avoid an embarrassing pause in conversation!
My son is two and a half and we haven't had another one yet because I don't want him to feel that I've abandoned him, I'm still having too much fun with him to want to share my time and potentially miss out on something special. I want him to be old enough to understand that he's going to be a big brother, and enjoy everything that comes with it. There is 9 years between me and my older brother (he is one of my best friends), and whilst I think that we both enjoyed the best of being an only child for a while and having a sibling, I ideally wouldn't want that size age gap if we were to be blessed with another baby.
As others have said it's each to their own.
This is how i feel. I want to enjoy my son without stressing about another. Alot of mums manage with two or more young kids but i would rather have the time with my son one to one untill he is old enough to understand about being a big brother. I'm enjoying watching my son grow and learn and i'm loving being there with him almost every step of the way encouraging him. For me like yourself a good few years of an age gap is ideal.
Properly another factor is that i hate being pregnant. Need time to forget it.
ShelleyCowie
24-Feb-11, 01:16
"Red" is right, you dont even need to have another child if you dont want too :) Ignore the urge you have that you feel the need to justify yourself to people who are talking the financial aspect of it. My hubby works, i dont. He has 4 kids. We manage because money can stretch further than most would think. :)
Either way, if you decide you do want another baby then have a long hard think and discussion with your partner/husband. See if you would prefer them close together, or leave an age gap of your choice :)
I told my hubby tonight after the wee one (6 months) has grown out of things like the baby bouncer they are going straight to the bin! No temptations to have anymore! Lol!
"Red" is right, you dont even need to have another child if you dont want too :) Ignore the urge you have that you feel the need to justify yourself to people who are talking the financial aspect of it. My hubby works, i dont. He has 4 kids. We manage because money can stretch further than most would think. :)
Either way, if you decide you do want another baby then have a long hard think and discussion with your partner/husband. See if you would prefer them close together, or leave an age gap of your choice.
I told my hubby tonight after the wee one (6 months) has grown out of things like the baby bouncer they are going straight to the bin! No temptations to have anymore! Lol!
Shelley don't bin them. Sell them. Make some money back from them ;)
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