View Full Version : Falling in love
How long before people fall in love?
How long were you dating your partner before you realised you loved them and how long before you told them?
Do men take longer to fall in love?Is there love at first sight?
What if you dont want to fall in love, will your parner be happy with this?
Do you feel you are too old to fall in love?
Do you not trust the opposit sex so wont fall in love?
I think this is an interesting subject and would love to hear some nice love stories to start the new year with.
How long before people fall in love?
How long were you dating your partner before you realised you loved them and how long before you told them?
Do men take longer to fall in love?Is there love at first sight?
What if you dont want to fall in love, will your parner be happy with this?
Do you feel you are too old to fall in love?
Do you not trust the opposit sex so wont fall in love?
I think this is an interesting subject and would love to hear some nice love stories to start the new year with.
For us we were together for about 6 months before we realised we had fallen in love. We had just enjoyed each others company and got to know each other at our own pace. Still though despite that at a year together still did not seem that long to know someone. It is only now after 3 years i can say i know my partner very well. I can sometimes predict how he'll react to something and be right lol. We still surprise each other and keep each other on our toes.
As far as making the final commitment to each other via marriage if it happened it happened. But i do think that if he'd proposed after a year of us being together i would have said no. The length of time it has been is better and we know each other very well. Far too many people get married after knowin their partners for a short time. A short time for me personally is under 2 years.
I don't think that with your partner it can be love at first sight. Lust yes love no. Lust if combined with freindship in a realtionship leads to love. For children and animals there is defintly love at first sight. I fell in love with my son when i saw him for the first time during my first scan. When he was born i felt like i already knew him. With my cat it was love at first sight. I liked her from the moment i saw her and she chose me over everyone else. Now unfortunatly due to not being able to live with us for the last 9 months I have decided that for her benefit she is better where she has been living. She's just not used to Sami and to move her now would be unfair. Cut me up to make that descion but its whats best for her that counts. Thankfully its close family so we see her reguarly. Be worse if we didn't see her at all.
With love you don't chose who you fall in love with. You don't have a choice. When you love the wrong one its hard to see it and when you do see it stay away. What is the point in any realtionship really if there is no love. You might as well stick to randam flings.
When you're older you also have pritories about realtionships. For example a very good friend of mine is in her mid 30's and she wants to have children in the next year or so. She started seeing her now partner and made it clear that she wanted commintment and children. She gave him the choice to go or stay if he didn't want what she did. He justs wants to be with her no matter what. Its so good to see her happy.
I think when it comes to wanting children or not wanting them you have to make it clear to the person you are in a realtionship with as if they don't want the same as you and you never made it clear they could end up not getting what they want. With age i think comes mutual desires for life for love to work.
ShelleyCowie
04-Jan-11, 01:52
How long before people fall in love?
How long were you dating your partner before you realised you loved them and how long before you told them?
Do men take longer to fall in love?Is there love at first sight?
What if you dont want to fall in love, will your parner be happy with this?
Do you feel you are too old to fall in love?
Do you not trust the opposit sex so wont fall in love?
I think this is an interesting subject and would love to hear some nice love stories to start the new year with.
When i met my hubby i really didnt think much of it, but we spoke every single night, we went for long walks together and just enjoyed each others company for quite a while. Then out of the blue i realised that i had started to fall for him. He was falling for me too :)
We were together for about 7 months before he told me he loved me. He baked me a cake and spelled out in chocolate chips "I love you" and then said it to me! Cheesey or what, but just what i needed after a horrible day at work! I moved in with him after 6 months of being together though and it was the best thing iv done! I loved him before the 7 months that we said it to each other but was scared of failure...rejection i guess!
I wouldnt say it was love at first sight, i just knew i had met someone who was going to play a role in my life and would always mean something to me.
Age doesnt matter, you can fall in love at any age! Doesnt matter about age gaps either. I was told by only 2 people though that my hubby was too old for me (he is only 7 years older)
We had only been together 11 months and i fell pregnant with our first (Athrun) and we were over the moon! We got married in July 2010, i had my 2nd beautiful baby boy in August 2010 and i have my 2 fabulous step sons who are soon to be 9 & 7.
We are so happy together to the point we dont even argue! We are immature, have a laugh, enjoy each others company every minute we are together.
Seeing him makes everything better, when im down he cheers me up, when i am upset he comforts me. He loves me for who i am and supports me in every way possible! Even with my radical new look im intending to go for (flaming red hair) and new clothes to give myself an over haul....he loves me because of who i am. And i love him so much.
I may sound mega cheesey but i dont care! I love my husband so much and my little family here! Who needs money or material things when i have him and our kids. Couldnt ask for a better person or soul mate!
4 years together and he still makes me laugh all the time. What more could a girl want?!
Aaldtimer
04-Jan-11, 04:11
From Kahlil Gibran:-
Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
The Pepsi Challenge
04-Jan-11, 09:17
Love is... chemistry.
I first met the as yet to be Mrs Kodiak on the 15th March 1973 on a Blind Date. Two days later it was her Birthday and we were talking about what names we would call our children. We were engaged on the 27th July 1973 and Married on the 17 November 1973.
Our first son was born on the 6th December 1975 and yes we did name him on what we decided on the 17th March 1973.
Perhaps not love at first sight, but definately love at second sight. Love at second sight lasts forever. :D
annemarie482
04-Jan-11, 14:17
i'd known my oh for quite some time, he was a weekend regular in the bar i worked.
we had a few occasions with the odd sneaky kiss around xmas 2002, although usually after a few bevies lol
but eventually i recieved a text message in the feb asking me to the local cinema.
i was very shocked, but decided what the heck i'd go anyway.
anyway, "date" time comes and its snowing horrendously.
so we opted for the local instead for a few drinks and a game of pool.
unfortunately, a first date infront of everyone you know is a bit weird lol
(especially with me being shy at the best of times!)
we didn't know each other that well but the whole bar did!
oh went to the toilet and i saw my chance to run!
i left and walked down the road headed home.......
until a car pulled up behind me. eek!
the window went down and oh worriedly asked "where are you going?"
"home, i thought you'd left" i replied. "do you want a lift?" he asked.
too embarassed to say no, i accepted the lift.
and i am so greatful that he came after me!
what can i say we have been inseperable since!
we text daily, met up everyday, went runs in the car, paning for gold, sightseeing the lot!
oh moved in with me in the april 2003 when i got my first house.
he proposed xmas day 2004 i was delighted!
we've been through alot, we have 2 beautiful children, one son, one daughter, have built a lovely new bungalow, lost a baby last may :( and he's gone from working at home to offshore and away 6 months of the year
but we are stronger than ever, and have stood the test of time, despite the 8 1/2 years age difference and early disapproving comments.
i can honestly say we never fight, or exchange cross words.
we talk about everything and are very open. that we we know where we stand and nothing festers!
yet everyday is fun and loving, as its been from the early days.
all thats left now is to finally set the date for our wedding! lol
so not exactly love at first sight, but after nearly 8 years, i'm the happiest woman alive!
i love my oh so so much and he's my best friend in life.
and best is, without a doubt, i know he loves me too :)
I met my OH at a party the day I moved into my new flat in June 1968, and he worked with one of my new flatmates. When everyone but us were dancing, she told him to get me up on the floor. A few days later on our first date, he opened the car door for me, and my first thought was "Wow! He's different" We celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary in March, have 3 children and 5 grandchildren.
Love is something you have no control over. You just know when it happens.
cuddlepop
04-Jan-11, 15:22
I'd known my Oh for years before we got together so its kinda difficult to point to a time when "best friend" turned into "love of my life" stuff.
I guess like the others have said,6 months is a good "realisation" point.
As to age,well I dont think your ever too old to fall in love.
The question is,how to stay "in love".:D
I fell in love on our first date,told her she would be my wife on second date,proposed after one month,married after five months and still together forty two years on.
I fell in love on our first date,told her she would be my wife on second date,proposed after one month,married after five months and still together forty two years on.
Wonderful and well done and heres to the next 42 years. Oh and one other thing Welcome to the Org :-
http://i49.tinypic.com/9ztts0.jpg
aw, such lovely stories :D
i widna ken anythin aboot love...ivrythin seems til go boobs over bum for me.....:(
usually ma guy turns oot til be a total mental case.
thinkin o' checkin oot 'e dornoch scene....what scares me is passin thro portgower! [para]
2 weeks was all it took for me. It's been an on and off rollercoaster ride though, some really great times, and some bloody awful times, but after nearly 16 years, we're still together. And as we get older, our bond only gets stonger :)
lindsaymcc
04-Jan-11, 17:37
Known of each other my whole life, but really got to know him at 17yrs old.... he was 21. We messed around a little, but I just wasnt sure so cooled things. We kept in contact through letters mainly as he was doing his training in the army and away in Kosovo etc for a long while.
At 20 I realised there was more to this "friendship" than I was admitting to myself. We got back together in June 2003, Engaged in October 2003 and Married December 2003. All happened very quickly, but we were very sure.
Our first child was born in July 2004, followed by 2 more in 2005 and 2007. We are living the dream now here in Thurso. We are complete. We need each other and hate being apart.
It hasnt all been plain sailing. Our married life started out on the breadline, living in strange towns due to the Army life, and then disaster struck with hubby becoming severely injured. It resulted in being medically discharged from the army and us basically not having anywhere to live! We got through that without any lasting mental scars, and so much other stuff but it has only made us stronger.
7 years of marriage now, and Ive been terrified of the "7 yr itch" thing, but I can safely say, we are both in this for the long haul and cant wait to grow old together!
I met my future hubby just a week before my bday (halloween) 2010 although we had been friends for about a year, almost 3 months later, he proposed on christmas day 2010 and were getting married on 12 may 2012 surrounded by family and friends in wick.
We both danced around the 'L' word for a while before we both said it and have said it every day to each other since, we've talked about everything possible, planned our wedding and even picked out our kids names when we have them. Falling in love is amazing if you let it xx
Met my hubby in the sphere (DFR dounreay) and liked him from first meeting him...
Took a wee while of chasing to get him on my way of thinking ....bt it was his blue eyes that did it for me in the first sighting...that never left me..
to start with it was lust, but, when it blurred into love I dont really know....
Met my hubby in the sphere (DFR dounreay) and liked him from first meeting him...One of my best pals tells the same story......
That's at least four of you who should be supporting the campaign for preservation of the sphere for romantic reasons. :D
Somebody mentioned fearing the seven year itch but happily getting past it with out a problem.
I salute you.....
If some rumours are to be believed, my first hubby had a different itch every week for several years. [disgust]
My second developed an itch much sooner but he left by mutual agreement when I threatened to relieve him of the cause with a rusty knife if he stayed under my roof for one more day. [disgust]
There will be no third.
annemarie482
05-Jan-11, 16:40
i'd known my oh for quite some time, he was a weekend regular in the bar i worked.
we had a few occasions with the odd sneaky kiss around xmas 2002, although usually after a few bevies lol
but eventually i recieved a text message in the feb asking me to the local cinema.
i was very shocked, but decided what the heck i'd go anyway.
anyway, "date" time comes and its snowing horrendously.
so we opted for the local instead for a few drinks and a game of pool.
unfortunately, a first date infront of everyone you know is a bit weird lol
(especially with me being shy at the best of times!)
we didn't know each other that well but the whole bar did!
oh went to the toilet and i saw my chance to run!
i left and walked down the road headed home.......
until a car pulled up behind me. eek!
the window went down and oh worriedly asked "where are you going?"
"home, i thought you'd left" i replied. "do you want a lift?" he asked.
too embarassed to say no, i accepted the lift.
and i am so greatful that he came after me!
what can i say we have been inseperable since!
we text daily, met up everyday, went runs in the car, paning for gold, sightseeing the lot!
oh moved in with me in the april 2003 when i got my first house.
he proposed xmas day 2004 i was delighted!
we've been through alot, we have 2 beautiful children, one son, one daughter, have built a lovely new bungalow, lost a baby last may :( and he's gone from working at home to offshore and away 6 months of the year
but we are stronger than ever, and have stood the test of time, despite the 8 1/2 years age difference and early disapproving comments.
i can honestly say we never fight, or exchange cross words.
we talk about everything and are very open. that we we know where we stand and nothing festers!
yet everyday is fun and loving, as its been from the early days.
all thats left now is to finally set the date for our wedding! lol
so not exactly love at first sight, but after nearly 8 years, i'm the happiest woman alive!
i love my oh so so much and he's my best friend in life.
and best is, without a doubt, i know he loves me too :)
a wee update!
we have set a date for the wedding and booked it today! :D
16/06/2012
a while off but will be here before we know it!
delighted x
purplelady
05-Jan-11, 17:44
My fella told me he loved me after about 2 months but said he knew he loved me after our 3rd date took me a bit longer to realise i loved him too but nearly 3 yrs on and along distance relationship just now and i love him more than ever xxxxxxxx
When I met my husband at work I was absolutely NOT doing the love and marriage thing ever again. We chatted and worked on a wee project together and I thought he was lovely and interesting but far far too young for me. He invited me along to an event that was taking place and I arranged to meet him outside. When I drove into the carpark and he was standing there I remember thinking "Oh oh I'm in trouble here" and the rest of the evening felt like i was walking on eggshells but we just clicked and ended the night sitting chatting til 4am and he held my hand and I knew I was just lost. I was sure it wouldnt last as I am 11 years older than him so I decided this could be a summer dalliance with a younger man which i could enjoy and which i would tell the wee lassies about when i was 96 and dottled lol. At the end of the summer he was going to India and off he went understanding that the romance between us was over but that we would remain friends. When he returned it turned out that it wasnt over at all and now i have a fantastic younger husband and a summer that will last my whole life long.
He was the biggest and best surprise i ever had.
One of my best pals tells the same story......
That's at least four of you who should be supporting the campaign for preservation of the sphere for romantic reasons. :D
Somebody mentioned fearing the seven year itch but happily getting past it with out a problem.
I salute you.....
If some rumours are to be believed, my first hubby had a different itch every week for several years. [disgust]
My second developed an itch much sooner but he left by mutual agreement when I threatened to relieve him of the cause with a rusty knife if he stayed under my roof for one more day. [disgust]
There will be no third.
Oh dear. Sounds like you've had sods for partners.
You never know maybe one day you will meet the person who will give you faith in men back.
But as long as you are happy nothing much else matters.
Some lovely stories, have really enjoyed reading them, keep them coming. I am so envious of some of you!!!!
But what happens when one partner is in love with the other after a year but the other partner doesnt feel the same. Must be awful to be unloved by the person you love.Dont think someone would change their feelings after after a year, best to end the relationship and find someone else who would love them.
What do you think?
hi fran, i think when ye really love someone an it all goes wrong, it can takes ages til get over them...ye think aboot them all 'e time, dream aboot them when yer sleepin an really wish them weel in life....
but when yer feelins are superficial, ye can turn them on an off lek a lightbulb...nothin really means anythin.
'e secret is lovin, an believin in yersel...an 'ats a hard thing thing til do sometimes.
The Drunken Duck
11-Jan-11, 23:54
My biggest regret is that I didn't marry the girl I loved when I could. I used to think about her all the time after a split that was all my fault and what could have been. Instead I went back to someone I thought I loved for all the wrong reasons and boy, did I live to regret it.
About a year ago I was walking down Union St in Aberdeen and someone pinched my backside, turned round and it was the girl I wished I had married. We went for some lunch and chatted, the years just fell away. She has never married and is now a very succesful career woman and very happy with her lot. I was just happy that she was happy and I havent really thought about her since that meeting, guess I just wanted to know things had gone well for her.
Still the only woman that can wrap me round her little finger though. Always will be I reckon.
AAh The Drunken Duck, what a sad story. It seems to me that fete has brought you together again after all these years....and you are both single. For goodness sake get in touch with her as soon as possible and arrange a date. Good luck. Life is too short, make the most of things now and be happy.
Some lovely stories, have really enjoyed reading them, keep them coming. I am so envious of some of you!!!!
But what happens when one partner is in love with the other after a year but the other partner doesnt feel the same. Must be awful to be unloved by the person you love.Dont think someone would change their feelings after after a year, best to end the relationship and find someone else who would love them.
What do you think?
Hi Fran, this sounds so sad to me. Love is 2 sided, not 1 sided, and if I was in a relationship like that I wouldn't stick around. I always think if you try to find love it won't come but if you forget about it it does lol
I don't actually remember when I first met Mrs D. We were in the same Motorcycle 'Gang' and we got together at a party at her parent's house after we both had broken up with (for then) long term relationships. Immediately after we got together she went back to Uni in Aberdeen (we were in Cheshire) so we then had to endure 3 years of a long distance relationship only seeing each other at term ends and my occasional visits to Aberdeen.
30 years on.....still the love of my life........ 1978 Bevel Twin [lol] Only Joking!
George Brims
12-Jan-11, 18:45
i widna ken anythin aboot love...ivrythin seems til go boobs over bum for me.....:(
I think you're saying that backwards. Your boobs are *supposed* to be higher than your bum. If they're not this could explain the lack of success with men.
Falling in love is easy, staying in love is the hard bit and needs to be worked at. I am very happy on my own and if love comes my way then I would have to turn it down as it would spoil the life I have right now!!
C3....;)
Thnkyou all for your stories so interesting. A couple of friends of mine have been going out for nearly 2 years. she asked if he loved her and he said no, he wouldnt commit to anything, so she ended it. such a shame, they were a good couple, but it was all a one sided relationship.they were both divorced and he didnt want to get involved and she couldnt trust, and quite rightly so, as she discovered he had paid for sex during that time.
canadagirl
28-Jan-11, 06:39
The poor woman will now move on and find someone who's good for her. Then you can come back and tell us about it! I love happily ever after stories. Speaking of which you men all know valentines day is coming up- right? :Razz
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