View Full Version : Older generation in Care
Our parents are getting on in years, have had to consider the possibility of a care home in Wick, but you hear so many stories in the press and on TV about how our older generation get treated.:mad:
Do we as the younger generation owe it to our parents to give them the best possible final years of their life either by caring for them ourselves or pay someone else to do it for us, which way is better?
Can we cope with caring for them ourselves, as it could be a strain on anyones life. How do we cope with having to put them in to care, would the guilt overwhelm us if something were to happen to them?:(
www.ageuk.org.uk (http://www.ageuk.org.uk)
billmoseley
21-Nov-10, 14:25
my parents died young but i would like to think that had they lived i don't think they would have wanted me to waste my own life looking after them? why not ask them what they would prefer you might be surprised by the answer
Our parents are getting on in years, have had to consider the possibility of a care home in Wick, but you hear so many stories in the press and on TV about how our older generation get treated.:mad:
Do we as the younger generation owe it to our parents to give them the best possible final years of their life either by caring for them ourselves or pay someone else to do it for us, which way is better?
Can we cope with caring for them ourselves, as it could be a strain on anyones life. How do we cope with having to put them in to care, would the guilt overwhelm us if something were to happen to them?:(
www.ageuk.org.uk (http://www.ageuk.org.uk)
Of course we own it to our parents to make their final years as comfortable as possible and there is no doubt as they become increasingly frail difficult decisions will have to be made.
Make no mistake, caring for them at home 24/7 can be fraught with difficulties. Especially where there is mobility, dementia or incontinence issues. Thankfully local authorities can help and support older people in many ways these days.
SWMBO worked as a local authority Social Care Worker for 23 years in the central belt. She was lucky enough to work in a home where most of the staff cared for the residents but there were a few who were only in the job for their wage.
It is worth visiting as many care homes as you can, speak to the staff and the residents. A good manager will not mind you speaking to anyone in the home and they will not mind how many times you visit. A good manager will also not mind letting you see the most recent Care Commission Reports.
As Parents we gave 16-18 years of our lives raising and bringing up the children, if your Parents were good to you then you should give your time and money to make sure they are looked after in their final years.
Its the least you can do!!
C3...:)
I think it is different for every family so i don't believe either option is wrong it depends what is best for your family at the time.
Still though it will be one of the hardest decisions for you to make and it is something that has to be researched whatever option you feel is right for you
As a parent, I would not want my children to be looking after me in my old age. I brought them into this world so that I could love and look after them. I/we made a conscious descision to have children... they had no say in the matter!!!... They should not be required to shoulder the responsibility of looking after me in my old age.
It's a tough desicion. My partners parents had this dilema 2 years ago which sorted itself out but now is a definte serious issue. Who i call grandma now looks after grandad and isn't well herself. She needs help. To help them out my partners aunt is trying to get them to move near them but its a ongoing discussion. No one knows what's going to happen yet.
I do think that talking with your parents as to what they would like is good. If you can't dedicate enough time to look after them then the alternative needs to be well looked into and the best place with the best repuation found for them.
I agree with this, I as a person would want to do this but I wouldnt expect my children to do it for me id rather there happiness come before mine (if that makes sense :-) )
As Parents we gave 16-18 years of our lives raising and bringing up the children, if your Parents were good to you then you should give your time and money to make sure they are looked after in their final years.
Its the least you can do!!
C3...:)
As Parents we gave 16-18 years of our lives raising and bringing up the children, if your Parents were good to you then you should give your time and money to make sure they are looked after in their final years.
Its the least you can do!!
C3...:)
For the majority of families this option is nigh on impossible. Families are much more mobile these days and might live in another country and not just round the corner. Teenage children need ‘space’ and so do older relatives; the two are rarely compatible. Older people may often require much more care than is possible in a family environment because as they get older their sleep patterns often don’t conform to those of a younger generation. Combine this with other issues; mobility, dementia etc. you can see the possible need for care/supervision 24/7 and this can go on for many years.
It would be great if we can contribute financially to the care of our older relatives but for many families this can be difficult where both partners work full time just to keep a roof over their head and food on the table.
No one should be made to feel guilty because they cannot care for their older relative.
The least we can do is recognise that caring for our older people is a very complex issue.
As Parents we gave 16-18 years of our lives raising and bringing up the children, if your Parents were good to you then you should give your time and money to make sure they are looked after in their final years.
Its the least you can do!!
C3...:)
Got to agree with you Corrie, I just hope I go before all my basic faculties go first.
I saw my father go into nursing care for medical reasons, he went downhill from the moment he went in. Lost all his dignity, it broke my and my sons hearts every time we visited him.
Got to agree with you Corrie, I just hope I go before all my basic faculties go first.
I saw my father go into nursing care for medical reasons, he went downhill from the moment he went in. Lost all his dignity, it broke my and my sons hearts every time we visited him.
There are significant differences between nursing care and residential care. Nursing care implies a medical reason where the patient cannot be cared for anywhere else, and usually involves complex treatments.
Powered by vBulletin® Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.