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Alice in Blunderland
28-Oct-10, 18:56
Its my colour...................... :~(


Surely its a persons heart and kindness that they should be judged on :confused


I never thought my husband would say these three words, but alas today he has.


What can I say some talk the talk but do they realise they dont walk the walk at times.

changilass
28-Oct-10, 19:00
The type of person that would make your husband say those 3 words is not the type of person he needs in his life.

I hope he is in a position to be able to not have them in his life and that he accepts that not all think alike.

Liz
28-Oct-10, 19:13
I think it is disgusting that your husband should be made to feel that way!!![evil]

It's what kind of person someone is that matters not the flipping colour of their skin!!

I hope he realises that idiots like these are in the minority.

Whoever made him feel that way should be saying three little words and these are "I am sorry".:(

unicorn
28-Oct-10, 19:17
There are sadly people in this world who are only happy when making others sad, it makes them feel important in their sad little lives.

Angela
28-Oct-10, 19:33
Three words to describe the person who make your husband feel this way, Alice: 'ignorant and prejudiced'. :(

I hope he'll be able to see that's the truth of the matter and can find it in his heart to feel only pity for anyone who is so small minded and lacking in humanity. He doesn't need their approval! :)

Alice in Blunderland
28-Oct-10, 20:57
As in all things its the minority few who can do the damage. :(

*Martin*
28-Oct-10, 20:59
What's exactly happened here?

Commore
28-Oct-10, 21:09
What's exactly happened here?

I am thinking the same, :confused

changilass
28-Oct-10, 21:28
I don't think knowing all the ins and outs is required.

Its about how someone was left feeling, and I think we can all work that one out by what has been said already.

theone
28-Oct-10, 21:47
This went over my head too.

Mystical Potato Head
28-Oct-10, 21:51
I don't think knowing all the ins and outs is required.

Its about how someone was left feeling, and I think we can all work that one out by what has been said already.

Well obviously some people cant or they wouldnt be asking.

teddybear1873
28-Oct-10, 23:06
It's a women thing. Best for us males to keep out, It can get very confusing.

teenybash
28-Oct-10, 23:33
Its my colour...................... :~(


Surely its a persons heart and kindness that they should be judged on :confused


I never thought my husband would say these three words, but alas today he has.


What can I say some talk the talk but do they realise they dont walk the walk at times.

I feel for you and your hubby and know what it is like to hear and see the effects of those words......rise above, walk tall, while scraping the .... from the soles of your shoes.

Bazeye
28-Oct-10, 23:37
So, what exactly are you saying? Your husband doesnt like the colour of your skin or what? Im a bit confused by the post as well.:confused

Kevin Milkins
28-Oct-10, 23:38
Its my colour...................... :~(


Surely its a persons heart and kindness that they should be judged on :confused


I never thought my husband would say these three words, but alas today he has.


What can I say some talk the talk but do they realise they dont walk the walk at times.

I find this surprising, because I know you both and can see what you stand for, however, if there is someone that has a beef with you it's a probability that they may use whatever angle possible to get the upper hand.

Everyone that knows you both will be mortified if they feel you are getting the rough end of a rhubarb and sympathies with you.

Don't let the balustrade's get you down, you are surrounded by real friends.

teddybear1873
28-Oct-10, 23:40
So, what exactly are you saying? Your husband doesnt like the colour of your skin or what? Im a bit confused by the post as well.:confused

Nail polish maybe?

Torvaig
28-Oct-10, 23:43
"It's my colour..." - the first three words of Alice's primary post says it all..... sadly, someone hurt or offended yet again.

In today's multi-cultural society there are still many truly ignorant people who have no understanding of people who are "different" from themselves whether is be creed, colour or language or even the place where they were born.

We have a long way to go yet but I fear ignorance will always be prevalent in many people who do not wish to grow.

In Shylock's words "if you hurt us, do we not bleed?"

Moira
28-Oct-10, 23:53
As in all things its the minority few who can do the damage. :(

Only if you let them Alice. Rise above, my friend, you're both far too good to waste your time giving this a passing thought. :)

golach
28-Oct-10, 23:54
Only if you let them Alice. Rise above, my friend, you're both far too good to waste your time giving this a passing thought. :)

Hear Hear Moira

mrlennie
29-Oct-10, 00:01
Yeah they're just trying to get the angle.
with a different skin colour, a different religion, the other gender, against disabled people, against people with dogs, against people without dogs, against smokers, non-smokers and...
for being Justin Beiber apparently.

scorrie
29-Oct-10, 00:38
I don't think knowing all the ins and outs is required.


No, of course not. Far better to start a witch hunt against nobody in particular, about nothing in particular, on a website of no particular worth!!

Moira
29-Oct-10, 01:09
No, of course not. Far better to start a witch hunt against nobody in particular, about nothing in particular, on a website of no particular worth!!

You're scooting on the wrong thread Scorrie. No witches or witch hunt here. Save it for Halloween - that's the 31st. :)

cuddlepop
29-Oct-10, 09:12
I've heard this said by a white person after their "coloured" supervisor expected them to do the "impossible" because thats what they do.

Sometimes,just sometimes it works both ways.

Another bug bear staff have is the way they speak to woman because once again there seen as "inferior" in their culture.


Its all a minefield at work because the supervisor uses their colour to escape being "pulled up".:roll:

Ricco
29-Oct-10, 09:26
I don't think knowing all the ins and outs is required.

Its about how someone was left feeling, and I think we can all work that one out by what has been said already.

Quite agree with you Changi. We don't need the goss - just to know that someone's self esteem as been given a belting. :(

upolian
29-Oct-10, 09:42
Didn't go over my head,you and the hubby are very nice people,put that aside comments still should not be made about 1's colour,very very sad indeed!

Commore
29-Oct-10, 10:24
Quite agree with you Changi. We don't need the goss - just to know that someone's self esteem as been given a belting. :(

Oh well excuse me too,
as it happens I do not know those involved, however, reading between the lines I think I know now what this post is all about, and ask, is this forum the right place to debate such a topic given that there are means of dealing with any form of discrimination through other channels,
or am I on the wrong track?

changilass
29-Oct-10, 11:21
You said it yourself Commore.

You deal with it through other channels, but you debate things on a forum.

So this is exactly the right place.

Hoida
29-Oct-10, 12:47
People can be very hurtful and we just have to try and turn the other cheek. It is not the outward appearance that is important but what is within.
Try not to let these ignorant people get to you they are not worth bothering with.:Razz

Commore
29-Oct-10, 16:06
You said it yourself Commore.

You deal with it through other channels, but you debate things on a forum.

So this is exactly the right place.

Well if that is the case why not let the other members in on the full story rather than state, that others need not know.

_Ju_
29-Oct-10, 16:43
Well if that is the case why not let the other members in on the full story rather than state, that others need not know.

Because the original post is about the feelings a person was left with. What you want are facts to know whether that person is legitimately entitled to have those feelings.
1- The facts you want could be prejudicial to that persons situation maybe even put them in a worse situation.
2-The facts you want would legitimize or not the way this person felt to your mind but even when dealing with those facts, you could only consider them from your point of view (whether or not theoretically they would have offended/hurtyou if you were in the same situation). Who are you to judge the legitamacy of another persons feelings?
3- The facts you want are about finding out what went on because you are curious about the events and not at all interested in discussing how little things in our daily behaviour, atitudes and passing comments can affect those around us so much (which is what the original poster, I think, was trying to open a discussion about).

teddybear1873
29-Oct-10, 16:44
Just to let everyone know, I was not being nasty or obtuse in anyway with the comments I put on the topic.

The begining topic was confusing and I'm sure it was for other people as well.

If I did hurt anyones feelings, I apologize fully.

Thanks

changilass
29-Oct-10, 17:46
Well if that is the case why not let the other members in on the full story rather than state, that others need not know.

I know nothing more than was posted, but could easily pick up on the feelings involved.

Its not a case of a few knowing all the details and keeping it from everyone else.

I read the opening post and it told me all I needed to know to empathise with the poster.

Commore
29-Oct-10, 18:16
Because the original post is about the feelings a person was left with. What you want are facts to know whether that person is legitimately entitled to have those feelings.
NOT SO, YOU PRESUME TO KNOW.


1- The facts you want could be prejudicial to that persons situation maybe even put them in a worse situation.
2-The facts you want would legitimize or not the way this person felt to your mind but even when dealing with those facts, you could only consider them from your point of view (whether or not theoretically they would have offended/hurtyou if you were in the same situation). Who are you to judge the legitamacy of another persons feelings?
3- The facts you want are about finding out what went on because you are curious about the events and not at all interested in discussing how little things in our daily behaviour, atitudes and passing comments can affect those around us so much (which is what the original poster, I think, was trying to open a discussion about).

You do not know my thoughts on this topic, you presume you do!!!!

Mystical Potato Head
29-Oct-10, 18:26
Because the original post is about the feelings a person was left with. What you want are facts to know whether that person is legitimately entitled to have those feelings.
1- The facts you want could be prejudicial to that persons situation maybe even put them in a worse situation.
2-The facts you want would legitimize or not the way this person felt to your mind but even when dealing with those facts, you could only consider them from your point of view (whether or not theoretically they would have offended/hurtyou if you were in the same situation). Who are you to judge the legitamacy of another persons feelings?
3- The facts you want are about finding out what went on because you are curious about the events and not at all interested in discussing how little things in our daily behaviour, atitudes and passing comments can affect those around us so much (which is what the original poster, I think, was trying to open a discussion about).



Point#3 Perhaps someone justs wants to know some facts so they can understand how these feelings have come about,nothing wrong with that is there?
Not everyone can empathise at the drop of a hat.

Corrie 3
29-Oct-10, 18:32
Not everyone can empathise at the drop of a hat.
Too true MPH, to do that can get you into trouble at worst or make you out to be a complete fool at least!
I refuse to contribute to this thread until I know more of the facts, it could be someone having a laugh because her Partner doesn't like the colour of her lipstick for all we know... We are assuming that she means the colour of her skin but if that is the case why wasnt it stated on the opening post?

C3....:confused

Mystical Potato Head
29-Oct-10, 18:49
Too true MPH, to do that can get you into trouble at worst or make you out to be a complete fool at least!
I refuse to contribute to this thread until I know more of the facts, it could be someone having a laugh because her Partner doesn't like the colour of her lipstick for all we know... We are assuming that she means the colour of her skin but if that is the case why wasnt it stated on the opening post?

C3....:confused

Yep, but apparently this is the place to debate it too although i always though a debate based around assumptions was called gossip.

Droopy
29-Oct-10, 19:14
Not everyone can empathise at the drop of a hat.

Theres an uncanny amount of people on the 'Org' that can!

Theres obviously someone been hurt by what someone else has said for the OP to have posted the thread.....but mass compassion internet style does seem odd.

Who are the posters showing compassion to, the OP or to everyone else whos reading the the thread 'because Im such a nice person' Id have thought a PM or phone call (if you know the OP that well) would be more apt?

Im as compassionate as the next person but we do seem to be in a culture where we have to grief (and some seem to thrive on it) for everyone elses problems or we're seen as heartless. Everyone has bad days.....

It is a very puzzling opening post to say the least for a public forum, and if it wasnt intended to provoke queries, theres no way it wasnt going to.
But it really nice that Alice has such brilliant friends on here she can turn to for support....

Alice in Blunderland
30-Oct-10, 08:33
The intention of the original post if slightly confusing due to it being a very emotional issue, was to highlight that in this day, no matter how much we seem to talk about discrimination of any kind, in my personal instance its colour, it still rumbles along.


But hey that's life. :)