advise please!!!

[AliciaMackinnon]

10 weeks ago i had my daughter... now shes a bit older i am experiancing troubles with her...

She finds it hard to go to sleep for me, but if she goes to her grans ten seconds and shes asleep!!!

She speands ages roaring at me and I cant seem to find anything to comfort her and she just gets herself in a state!!!

Her gran seems to do things differently (like as soon as she crys she picks her up.. which i dont believe in!)

If she cries shes otimaticly hungry!

Im realy lost and starting to get realy upset!! I fell like im not her mum coz I cant comfort her!

Her gran spoils her rotten!!

Just looking for some advise as to how I should solve some of my problems!

Thanks in advance! :roll:

[silverlady]

Aw, it is sooooo hard with little ones! Sounds like your confidence has taken a bashing. Babies go through lots of different wee stages wit growth, sleeping patterns, feeding habits etc in the first years. Could be your baby is going through some changes. Its frustrating for us mums, cos just when we think we got it sussed, it seems to go wrong! Its not going wrong, just different. You are the mum, you have done a fantastic job so far, and baby knows that! Gran means well I am sure, but spend as much time with baby as you can and a new routine will establish itself. Don't worry, things get easier ;)

[AliciaMackinnon]

Aw, it is sooooo hard with little ones! Sounds like your confidence has taken a bashing. Babies go through lots of different wee stages wit growth, sleeping patterns, feeding habits etc in the first years. Could be your baby is going through some changes. Its frustrating for us mums, cos just when we think we got it sussed, it seems to go wrong! Its not going wrong, just different. You are the mum, you have done a fantastic job so far, and baby knows that! Gran means well I am sure, but spend as much time with baby as you can and a new routine will establish itself. Don't worry, things get easier ;)

Fanx!!!! SHe keeps changing her routine lol!!! I am feeling down about it all and I think she might be able to tell!! I got a lot o other things worrying me too!! Thing that realy bothers me is that I established a routing with her 1 week where she had her bath at 8.30 and was in bed by 10! But 1 night we were at her grans and she fell asleep and was sleeping over her bath time and that was her routing wrecked lol!!!! Im utterly nackered and im starting to dread going to bed! It really is frustrating :~(

[Commore]

Aw, it is sooooo hard with little ones! Sounds like your confidence has taken a bashing. Babies go through lots of different wee stages wit growth, sleeping patterns, feeding habits etc in the first years. Could be your baby is going through some changes. Its frustrating for us mums, cos just when we think we got it sussed, it seems to go wrong! Its not going wrong, just different. You are the mum, you have done a fantastic job so far, and baby knows that! Gran means well I am sure, but spend as much time with baby as you can and a new routine will establish itself. Don't worry, things get easier ;)

I would agree with that, and if you are anxious even subconciously, your baby will pick that up,
try to relax, don;t worry so much and spend as much time as you can getting to know your baby, bonding with her.
Grans are handy but not a time when you as "mum" are still learning to be the mum.

[Vistravi]

Fanx!!!! SHe keeps changing her routine lol!!! I am feeling down about it all and I think she might be able to tell!! I got a lot o other things worrying me too!! Thing that realy bothers me is that I established a routing with her 1 week where she had her bath at 8.30 and was in bed by 10! But 1 night we were at her grans and she fell asleep and was sleeping over her bath time and that was her routing wrecked lol!!!! Im utterly nackered and im starting to dread going to bed! It really is frustrating :~(

Ah i see the issue. You have to make sure you and gran are on the same page and doing the same things otherwise any routines you make are going to be ruined. When my son stays with his granparents for the afternoon or the night they are given times of when to do things and how he sleeps and etc. They usually stick to it and his routine stays the same when they don't its chaotic. The last problem was he had slept through lunch and they choose not to give it to him when he woke an hour after his lunchtime meaning a very hungry boy at dinner, too hungry! My mum when she looks after my son tries to stick by it but we both do things compeltly differently and my sister ends up taking him to settle him as my mum sometimes can't. My sister spends alot of time with my son and often sits in his bathtime so she's been associated with beditme and therefore my son will settle for her. My mum and stepfather are associated with play and therefore won't settle for them.
My son has his bath at 6(his choosing, as too tired for one any later) its then into his sleepimg bag, a story read and bottle and then sleeps roughly at 7.30 til 12. Gets a drink of water (Won't feed him then as trying to break that habit) and then he's sleeping til 7am. Hopefully soon the 12 drink can be cut out. Since he's been unwell the routine has been thrown out the window and we're working together to get him back into it.
Just now i'm on my own as my partner is working away atm so i know how hard it can be when they are monkeys at night.
If you make sure gran is doing what you do and if she's trying to sleep through her bathtime wake her up. She'll hate it but she's got to learn. She may be young but she's old enough to know how to play you both. Your daughter is too young to have a full routine set in place but as long as you have a bedtime routine in place and keep it the same wherever you are she'll soon assocatie bath with time to sleep.

[AliciaMackinnon]

thank you vistravi!!! I am going to try to get gran on e same page!!! A lil eaisier said than done though!!! SHes very strong willed!!!

SHe makes me feel bad if I have to wake Eilidh up for her bath at 8.30!!! She says its realy cruel (but its not her thats up wi her everynite) Trying to get my husban on e same page is difficult too.!!! Sometimes its almost like iv got 2 babys!!! How hard it can be to get him to tidy up after himself!!! Often Eilidhs routine is wrecked coz her dad doesnt help me when i need him 2!!

Im trying realy hard but sometimes its like im being ganged up apon!

thanks for all advise!!!!! Much appriciated!

[Vistravi]

thank you vistravi!!! I am going to try to get gran on e same page!!! A lil eaisier said than done though!!! SHes very strong willed!!!

SHe makes me feel bad if I have to wake Eilidh up for her bath at 8.30!!! She says its realy cruel (but its not her thats up wi her everynite) Trying to get my husban on e same page is difficult too.!!! Sometimes its almost like iv got 2 babys!!! How hard it can be to get him to tidy up after himself!!! Often Eilidhs routine is wrecked coz her dad doesnt help me when i need him 2!!

Im trying realy hard but sometimes its like im being ganged up apon!

thanks for all advise!!!!! Much appriciated!

Aye granparents can be can't they! My partner's parents have been difficult. Often ignoring what i've siad they must do. They used to do what they wanted and didn't care how their actions affected him at night. But a word in their ear about what they were doing was affecting him and a threat of reduced visits soon sorted that out! My mum used to be like that about my son's bathtime too but i ingored her and carried on doing what i was doing as i knew it worked. Your her mum and you know best.
Good luck and i hope you get more sleep!

[ShelleyCowie]

Hi Alicia!

First of all i just have to say, your daughter is just being....well a baby! Lol. They all get grumpy, go through phases and everything, even from a young age!

Iv got a 7 week old and a 2 year old, also 2 step sons who are 8 & 6. I see similarities in all of them, if their routine is disrupted they get grumpy!

I see routine is key, im still getting my 7 week old into a routine but he is a greedy monster who doesnt stop eating...sounds like his mother! Lol

Tell your mum that she is disrupting the routine with your little one, im sure she understands because she surely went through the same thing!

Do you go to any toddler groups or anything? Sometimes getting out really will benefit you and baby! I make sure that i get out every day, even if its a walk to the shop!

Drop me a pm if you need someone to talk too :D xxxx

[Scunner]

always remember it is your child. You do what you thing is right, they have had their opportunity of being a parent, and should remember that they didn't get everything right. I'm speaking as a granny, and will only give advice or an opinion on anything about the grandchildren if I am asked. Enjoy your children .

[Dadie]

Alicia it could be colic that is having her screaming at night.
She is about the age for it...have you tried baby massage?
They used to do classes at the old med centre ask the health visitor.
Even if its not the massage can soothe them!

[cat]

i take it you're breastfeeding? that could be why shes different with you! its prob just a stage,it will pass!
i always think a bit of change in routine doesnt harm too much, makes them more flexable(if thats the right word to use). in saying that though the basic routine for bath and bed should be easy enough, even for grannies that sometimes think they know best!!
as for basic training for men? pass

[beetlecrusher]

Have a chat with your health visitor. Sleep management is something they have vast experience in.

[brandy]

also, something that hasnt been mentioned here but would really like to stress is your well being hun.
you seem to be pretty distresed and everything seems to be getting on top of you.
it is really easy to become overcome with a new/young baby.. and the baby blues can easily get you down without you ever knowing it.
on the part where you are just feeling out of sorts with everyone.. really advise talking to your health visitor!
been through that one before!
on the gran side.. you are the mom, she isnt.
tell her how you feel, and that its making you feel like you are not the mom
but more the sitter.
and that things have to change.
another thing, is this your mum or his mum?
as it can be really ackward depending on the situation and as i can guess you just
want to keep the peace, but at the same time have that bonding with your baby.
at the end of the day, you have to make the rules and enforce them.
this is for gran and partner.
they have to get into a routine of family life that you all can live with.
theres no magical answer to this,
just perseverance.
i hope that all turns out well for you!
and you and baby get there soon!

[George Brims]

Risking being told to go away because I'm a bloke, I will weigh in with my tuppence worth. Don't stress yourself out about routines. Yes, it's fine to have your child settle into a routine, and it can certainly make life easier, but no bairn ever came to harm from having its bath at a different time because it was napping. If she's feeding fine, and gaining weight as expected, then you're doing your job! We had three kids, and they all had different sleeping/eating/feeding patterns, and all three changed those patterns at various stages too.
Best of luck.

[Dadie]

Yup I have bathed all of mine at funny (well not so funny at the time) times of the night when really little and they wouldnt settle...
The warm water soothes windy tummies and tires them out.
Especially if combined with the massage afterwards.
Odd trips out in the pram/car as well ...
Lauren would start the screaming thing at 11pm nearly without fail...but by 16/18 weeks old it stopped.
Lauren had a routine...Iona not so much and well Euan just has to fit in with everyone else:lol:

[AliciaMackinnon]

just about to take Eilidh for a walk around e block and see if that works!!

[balto]

Have a chat with your health visitor. Sleep management is something they have vast experience in.
would have to disagree here with you, health visitors sometimes are nothing but busy bodies, every child is different. you trust your own instinct, well at least i learnt to, you get to the stage where you tell them, what they want to hear just so they will go away. but this is just my opinion before anyone shots me down in flames.

I mind jayden went through about 23 months of screaming from about 7 at night right through unto 12 and nothing would calm him down, it was suggested that he may have had colic but he only had this for set times at night, my i can tell you it was torture.