If there's one thing that REALLY angers me...

[RockChick84]

Since I started my job I've become increasingly annoyed because theres some woman who works here and she thinks that every time she makes a mistake she can say she had a "blonde moment" or she'll call herself the "blonde bimbo" of the workplace - I guarantee she is only doing this because I'm blonde and she has a problem with me. She isn't even a natural blonde and has no right or place to say that rubbish. I hate it with a passion and don't understand why she bleaches her hair on top if she then says all that stuff. It's really, really annoying me. If anyone says that near or to me again, and I'm in a position to do so, I'll blow my top at them. I experienced this in a past job when on the first day there I overheard one of men call me a "blonde bimbo". I wouldn't have been hired to do my job if I was stupid. Personally, I find it extremely offensive and it's never been a proven theory anyway.

[j4bberw0ck]

I can understand that someone naturally blonde would find it offensive. It's not different in principle to (let's say, for the sake of example) deciding that all wheelchair users, or perhaps all Irish people, or any other group defined by a single trait, are stupid. Or in my case, referring to myself as becoming senile when I do something stupid, or forget something might well cause offence to those who've had to live with a senile relative or partner at some time or other.

On the other hand, why over-react? Being naturally blonde gives you something that many other people would envy. OK, blonde jokes and expressions are offensive to you; one way is to act assertively and point out to people that you've heard it all so many times before that you no longer appreciate the stereotyping, and that you'd be grateful if they'd not say those things in your presence.

Blow your stack, and they'll just wind you up - deliberately or not. Keep cool, and keep it assertive rather than aggressive. And don't fall into the trap of "guaranteeing" that the woman at work is only doing it to offend you. It's just as likely it never occurred to her you'd be hurt by it, as it's an expression used by a large part of the population from time to time, and usually affectionately at that.

That's my 2 pence worth, anyway. Hope it helps, and good luck. <edit>BTW, "bimbo" is different. That definitely is insulting and you should have words in someone's ear</edit>

[squidge]

Take the lady in question to one side, maybe ask her for coffee and explain to her pleasantly that you know you are new and you are sure that she means no offence but that you actually find all this blonde bimbo stuff quite offensive and you would like it to stop if she doesnt mind. Try a little flattery too - that always works. something like " I know a lot of it is aimed at yourself but i cant understand why you would do that because you are absolutely not a bimbo at all. You seem bright and intelligent to me" If it continues after you have done this you can take it further if you like.

[sassylass]

jabberwock and squidge give good advice, better to say something to the woman when you're calm than blow your stack. Choose your words, attitude, and time carefully, you can be effective. There's a difference between her making these comments mindlessly, and saying them to irritate you, your approach could be tempered with that in mind.

And remember, SHE is the one who has bleached her hair to look more like you do naturally. ;)

Good luck.

[RockChick84]

Thanks for all your advice, I should think that way, I just got so angry and worked up in the moment. If I knew the woman better I'd take her aside and tell her my feelings but she's very loud and brash and I'm reserved and quiet. What bugs me is she's in her 40's and it's very immature and pathetic to be the way she is. I'll continue to prove her wrong by working my behind off at work and if she keeps saying that rubbish I'll just think that she really must be stupid to buy into such stereotypes.

[j4bberw0ck]

Good for you - that's the best way of all. But if I may...... don't think of her as stupid if you can avoid it. That way, you may end up treating her as stupid, and that's a recipe for making an enemy. As for buying into stereotypes..... it could be argued that if you think she's stupid for dyeing her hair, or for referring to "blonde moments", you're doing it too!

Prove it ain't so! :lol:;)

[janette]

She may be quite unaware that she is annoying you, but I would doubt it. If she is 'at it' to turn the other cheek to her is probably not the answer. Have you a line manager, if so a quiet word with him/her may be all that is needed. They should be able to nip these most inappropriate remarks in the bud, without her even knowing it was you who was upset. That what managers and supervisors are for, not just for giving orders. If you bring it up yourself with her, she may then try something else to annoy you. Don't let her win, she cant be very confident in her own work, if she is compelled to try and bring you down.

[_Ju_]

If people feel they are getting a rise out of you, they will continue to push your buttons. Do your best to give this persons remarks the attention they deserve, in other words NONE, continue to do your job well and soon who ever is pestering you will tire and give up on it. The secret is in not showing how irritated you are. I do think that taking the person aside to have a word with them about their comments will not help if the person in question has a grudge or problem with you. It would help if you felt the person was just making a thoughtless comment, not personaly directed at you.

Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.

[trinkie]

Say nothing to this woman, keep smiling and get on with your job.

Silence is very powerful. And after a while she might stop bothering you.

In the 1960s such people in the work place were called ''People Poisoners''
they are always with us.
Use them as an example of how not to be and rise above it.

Where I worked I had such a woman too, It gave me a great thrill to make rude signs under the desk or in my head.... words I would never say aloud.

I'm sorry you are having to suffer this, but do keep smiling and believe in yourself.
Kind regards
T

[htwood]

I agree that silence can be very powerful, but in this case, a few calm comments to her first, and THEN silence with a smile, might be better.

Silence alone will not give her the opportunity to know how you feel, and possibly make changes. Other than that, rise above it and be the best example of the ideal coworker. good luck!

[trinkie]

No, I wouldn't say a thing to her. She will be waiting for a confrontation.
That is what she is wanting - a can of worms !

Be polite and courteous and pretend you didn't even notice her rude remarks !

Sorry HTW ... this could be my age talking !

Good Luck.
T