The last nut and screw theory

[mostlyharmless]

As I calmly finished another simple job once more the ugly last nut raised its head and indeed wouldn't come off, for many long minutes I battled AND FINALLY pulled the whole floor up with the nut still intact.
As I look back at many of those five minute jobs that inexplicably turned into and hour I wonder where all that excess energy has gone?
Those times the last screw would break, the last hole would not be deep enough and of course the perfect tool would strangely disappear and rerrange itself into several screws with inanimate ends, that know screw driver or allan key would ever fit.

Could this energy be harnessed and used to power the world or would the obvious loud noises and frustration within that energy only boil over and increase the speed of global warming.

Maybe the forces involved in the losing of important tools at 'inopportune' moments could be used to lose several leaders around the world for which no moment is 'opportune' for them to be around.
Or maybe the loss of said tools somehow created a wormhole through which these disastrous leaders appeared.

I only hope that the recent event [the forming of a large piece of piping when before a fence strainer was there ]will not have coursed one or two counsellors to vote against asda...i'm sure that must have something to do with nuts and bolts and screws but maybe not in that order.

[rockchick]

The white-collar version of this is the ability of your photocopier, computer, or indeed any piece of electronic equipment to operate is inversely proportional to the level of desperation that you need it to function most.

And never, never, swear at the photocopier...this causes them to quiver, shake, and turn whatever passes for legs skyward and then go into rigour mortis, requiring very expensive visits from engineers who, when they see your stiff beastie, suck their breath in between their teeth and get out their invoice pad...

[George Brims]

I once removed the engine from a car, had it rebored, new pistons etc, and re-installed it. We had three bolts left over after the re-install. Everything seemed to work just fine!

As for the photocopier, I once had two hours left to turn in my M.Sc. dissertation, and went to the University library to make the required three copies. The lady at the copy centre cleaned the glass on the best machine for me, and loaded it with the expensive heavy paper, and I started copying. Five minutes along and smoke starts coming out of the machine, followed by flames out the back! Having just stayed up for 72 hours straight finishing the damn thing, I had a hard time choosing between grabbing the paper and leaving, or just leaving without it and jumping off the balcony outside! I went for the former (it was three floors up so I probably wouldn't be typing this if I'd made the other choice!), and after the fire brigade had given us the all-clear to re-enter the library I was able to complete the job on another machine. If that doesn't prove rockchick's point I don't know what does.

[souperman]

Any spare bolts/screws left over on a job are immediately to be christened as "whee`s".....this is the noise you are to make as you throw them across the room !

[George Brims]

On the other hand, if you are *short* a few bolts, or in the case below, 24 identical ones, don't just borrow them without asking.

Here's what can happen - http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewsr.html?pid=10299

[mostlyharmless]

Of course these everyday small mishaps come in different shapes and sizes
socks of course always lose there way;once more an electromagnetic wormhole has been created in my washing machine as all that is left of them. is a 2 pence piece that arrives smugly in the bottom of the pump.

Indeed an organisation called 'the society for the occassional complete kinetic overload of inanimate objects' ['SOCK' for short ]has been formed to establish the whereabouts of various; socks, [mainly patterned ones for some reason] tools,lost faxes,emails that left but never arrived,keys,and of course the sanity of children over the age of 12 .

The society was formed in 2005 and promptly mislayed until dug up from the bottom of a ditch in Dunnett in 2006 much to the relief of the local resident who believed he had dumped large amounts old tools and a tractor there.

The society is now looking closely at the strange phenomena of padlocked gates opening seemingly without reason as soon as an animal is any where near it.

[Blazing Sporrans]

Do you need to drink absinthe before reading this thread? I haven't but I'm left with a spaced out feeling anyway!

[badger]

Once upon a time if a tissue got left in a pocket before going in the wash, a good shake outside of all contaminated clothes got rid of the bits. Now they stick and have to be picked off individually - why?
BTW - the answer to socks is Sockies. :D

[fred]

Any spare bolts/screws left over on a job are immediately to be christened as "whee`s".....this is the noise you are to make as you throw them across the room !

Don't do that, put them in a teachest. That's what I did with the bits left over everytime I put my motorbike back together and eventually I had enough to build another bike.