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valmos
30-Jun-10, 13:42
I would like to explain what this petition is all about and our cause.

The Elizabeth Cross is awarded to Next Of Kin, meaning the parents or wife/husband of a fallen soldier. If a parent is not next of kin, they are not recognised by the MOD. So if there is a service to commemorate their son/daughter they are not invited. The MOD say their loyalty is to next of kin. This is very hurtful, as all they want to do is show how proud they are of their son/daughter. For instance, there was a service at St Pauls Cathedral for the closure of the Iraq War, the Queen was present, certain parents were not invited, invitations were sent out to the next of kin to visit Highgrove to meet Prince Charles, certain parents again were not invited.

If anybody would like to sign this petition would you please PM me, thanks in advance.

changilass
30-Jun-10, 13:46
Surely if there is limited numbers able to attend then it would make sense for it to be the next of kin - or am I reading this totally wrong.

If numbers arn't an issue then I would gladly sign your petition.

valmos
30-Jun-10, 13:52
The parents just want recognition, numbers should not be a problem, as the MOD, Royal Family should accomodate them really. I'm lucky, I am not in their position, however I would want it to be recognised that I brought that child up and lost him/ her in a war situation.

changilass
30-Jun-10, 13:58
Whilst I can understand that you would want recognition, you have to accept that numbers DO count.

Surely if its all about your child then you can have your own services without needing to meet royalty.

Where do you stop? Granny, aunty, uncle that looked after them when they were kids?

valmos
30-Jun-10, 14:06
Thanks anyway, just wanted to see if there would be any interest in Caithness for recognition for the parents who are not next of kin.

rob1
30-Jun-10, 14:49
At the end of the day, these services etc are for the people/person that was the most important in the soldiers eyes ie the next of kin. In some cases that will be the parents, in others that are married it will be thier spouse.

I don't understand why parents are wanting recognition. Recognition for what?

The Drunken Duck
30-Jun-10, 15:11
At the end of the day, these services etc are for the people/person that was the most important in the soldiers eyes ie the next of kin. In some cases that will be the parents, in others that are married it will be thier spouse.

I don't understand why parents are wanting recognition. Recognition for what?

Totally agree Rob.

The serviceman or woman decides who their official Next of Kin is and its up to them whether they designate their parents, spouse (if they have one) or even a different relative. So by prioritising them the MOD are just honouring the wishes of the deceased.

squidge
30-Jun-10, 15:15
I think we have to understand that it must be heartbreaking to lose your child this way and you have my sympathy. I do agree that if its for next of kin then its for next of kin and that may be parents or it may be spouse. Thats just the way it is.

Your son is your son til he gets himself a wife sigh...................

valmos
30-Jun-10, 16:16
Thabk you all for your input, these comments have now been passed on to the grieving mother who initiated the petition.

changilass
30-Jun-10, 16:38
Trying to guilt trip is no way to get support.[disgust]

wifie
30-Jun-10, 16:53
Thabk you all for your input, these comments have now been passed on to the grieving mother who initiated the petition.

That's not very fair, valmos.

I have to agree with others on this thread that the designated next of kin should be who is chosen. It is rather like a private funeral - all the decision of the deceased before their demise.

Mind you - perhaps this is a good heads up for people who have not made a will - if you have particular wishes they can only be carried out if you leave instructions. A sad fact of life and death.

Tighsonas4
30-Jun-10, 17:17
there used to be a time that the serviceman/woman had to desiginate there next of kin along with a lot of other details and it was on there records tony

rob1
30-Jun-10, 17:22
I assume this is about Carol Jones and her facebook campaign, Equality for the Parents of the Fallen? She assumes an inequality - the fact is there is none. The MoD deal with next of kin and so does just about every employer in the country should something happen at work. She was not her sons next of kin his wife was. I still don't understand why she think she should have the right to attend these events.

ss.sv650
02-Jul-10, 12:30
is the point being missed here or is it just me.

First point is the medal is awarded to the next of kin which is, i feel, correct no matter who they are,

however, second point,

as a parent and ex service i do belive that the parents should be allowed to attend the service purley because they have lost the loved one as well i know i would want to if it was my son