Sense of community

[bagpuss]

I recently attended two funerals. the first was an elderly spinster who had worked tirelessly for other people most of her life: she'd been a nurse, a church elder and a prison visitor. She died aged 93 in a care home. There were seven people at her small service and a handful of hymns were sung. A week later a single chap in his sixties who'd had a heart attack had his farewell service. The crematorium was packed out with his friends and community- there was terrific music, some really touching poetry and a beautiful dedication. the difference? The chap was gay and his friends who had always been there for him in times of tribulation really showed their love and respect.

What does this say about us as a country?

What plans do orgers have for their own send off?

[Hoida]

My aunt died 3 weeks ago and her funeral was well attended by people in the community. She had been born in the village and had lived there all her life and attended the local church. She was 89 and although had no children of her own had many nieces and nephews and grand nieces and nephews. Although it was in the church all the music had an Irish theme and at the crematorium 'Danny Boy' was sung and no hymns. The turn out of local people was so nice and helped the family and her husband.It was more a celebration of her life, a long and happy one and dare I say a good time was had by all !

[John Little]

What does this say about us as a country?

What plans do orgers have for their own send off?



As a country?

Nothing.

Why should it?

We may suppose things about the personal lives and sociability of the people concerned - but they would only be inference and no more.

As to my own send off? A short and merry one with some good jazz, a wake where my friends drink good whisky and someone kind enough to throw my ashes out of a plane very high up somwhere over the Scotland/England border, saving a matchbox full to throw off Dunnett Head in a high wind from the south.

What larks!


But really I am not that bothered

[bagpuss]

I'm always a bit haunted by the Beatles' 'Eleanor Rigby'. When I was a child, funerals were sombre, big family occasions, often dominated by the bossy older generation who believed children should be seen and not heard. In those days the thoughts of a lone send off would have been as big a disgrace as a pauper's funeral.

Recently we seem to be softening our approach- humanist serivces often say much more about the person than the traditional send off. They are often very sensitively handled, but sometimes when the mourners are struggling with their own emotions it isn't always easy to get it exactly right.

I have a friend who believes that everyone should write their own funeral while they are young and review it every few years to ensure it reflects their wishes. Mind you, given that his own wishes are for a stand up comedian and a cremation to the tune of the Doors versio of Light My Fire he might have second thoughts before the final curtain

[Sandra_B]

I would like a green burial and no service.

[ducati]

I'll turn gay just before I croak. Actually, I just mentioned that to my wife and she was furious :eek:

[horseman]

Baggy-yew a doors fan?;) thanks for origional post. Good food for thought stuff-as ever each to their own-me, i would have died a death rather than missed that LADYS passing away. God keep her.

[squidge]

I would like the same sort of party we had for our wedding for my wake. As to my final resting place I willleave that up to my dearly beloved. I have a preference for a cardboard box under a tree but if they feel the need for amore formal place to go and "be" with me then they can choose. It matters not cos i am sure i will be happily somewhere else

[Tubthumper]

I want to be filleted and buried at midnight at Dunnet Head, no ceremony.

[ducati]

I want to be filleted and buried at midnight at Dunnet Head, no ceremony.

Tonight? :eek:

[Tubthumper]

Oh yes. And I'll be back.....mwahahahahahah!!!

[ducati]

Oh yes. And I'll be back.....mwahahahahahah!!!

I was only worried 'cause it might take a bit of ORGanising [lol]