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unicorn
21-Jun-06, 16:09
A man is driving along a highway
and sees a rabbit jump out
across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it,
but unfortunately
the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.



The driver,
a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,
pulls over and gets out to see
what has become of the rabbit.



Much to his dismay,
the rabbit is dead.



The driver feels so awful
that he begins to cry.



A beautiful blonde woman
driving down the highway
sees a man crying on the
side of the road
and pulls over.



She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.



"I feel terrible," !
he explains,
"I accidentally hit this rabbit
and killed it."



The blonde says,
"Don't worry."



She runs to her car
and pulls out a spray can.



She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit,
bends down,
and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.



The rabbit jumps up,
waves its paw at the two of them
and hops off down the road.



Ten feet away the rabbit stops,
turns around and waves again,
he hops down the road another 10 feet,
turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves,
and repeats this again and again and again,
until he hops out of sight.



The man is astonished.



He runs over to the woman and demands,
"What is in that can?
What did you spray on that rabbit?"



The woman turns the can around
so that the man can read the label.



It says..





(Are you ready for this?)











(Are you sure?)











(This is bad!)











(It's definitely a Blonde Joke!)











(You know you could just click off
and not read the punch line....)








(You can still delete it)











(You know you're gonna be sorry)











(Last chance)











(OK, here it is)










It says,







"Hair Spray -
Restores life to dead hair,
and adds permanent wave."

laguna2
21-Jun-06, 16:13
Brilliant - brightened up an otherwise pretty awful day!!!!!! [lol]

jambo
21-Jun-06, 16:29
Nice one Unicorn. I really liked it!!!!

newlabeluk
22-Jun-06, 10:19
you deserve what comes next!


A vampire is out for the evening and has had a really good time,
He's visited the local dark disco and with the strobes & music
managed to pull and get his nourishment with no-one the wiser.

As he walks home in good spirits, he thinks he hears someone following
a quick turn and no-one there.

A short distance further and something hits his shoulder,
He spins round and there's a chicken leg.

He carries on feeling a bit wary and bang,
he spins again and there's a pork pie.

on he goes really ticked off, he hears footsteps...
so using his supernatural powers,
gathers his cape and does the vanishing turn.

As he re-appears he feels a sharp pain.
looking down he see's a cocktail stick with a mini sausage
sticking out of his heart.

with his dying breath he ask's

'Who are you?'



(ok this is the revenge part)





(are you sure you can cope?)






Buffet, The Vampire slayer!

unicorn
22-Jun-06, 15:02
ok that was worse than mine lol
1 more, and no I am not anti-blonde, I am blonde.

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

obiron
22-Jun-06, 18:16
its worse they get unicorn. thou the first one had me in stitches.

unicorn
22-Jun-06, 19:20
Q: What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A: A receding hare line.

connieb19
22-Jun-06, 19:41
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?




It was an inn-grown hare! :roll:













- - http://opossumsally.homestead.com/spot_the_impostor-1.jpg

Cedric Farthsbottom III
22-Jun-06, 21:24
Why did the bald guy draw rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance they looked like hares!!!:roll:

connieb19
22-Jun-06, 21:29
Q: How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?
A: Eggsercise, particularly hareobics.

unicorn
22-Jun-06, 21:40
Yours are worse than mine lol.....:)

Cedric Farthsbottom III
22-Jun-06, 21:45
Two rabbits are discussing their love lives.The depressed one says,"mines not going great,the wife just bought a Rampant Human."

connieb19
22-Jun-06, 21:51
Whats invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts..lol

unicorn
22-Jun-06, 21:54
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider?

a Hare net!

unicorn
22-Jun-06, 21:55
Knock,knock. Who's there? Ether Ether who? Ether bunny.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Stella Stella who? Stella nother ether bunny.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Justin Justin who? Justin other Ether Bunny.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Samoa Samoa who? Samoa Ether Bunnies.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Beryl Beryl who? Beryl of ether bunnies.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dewey Dewey who? Dewey have to listen to any more ether bunny jokes?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Consumption. Consumption who? Consumption be done about all these ether bunnies?

Ricco
22-Jun-06, 21:57
OK. Cop pulls over a speeding car and walks over to the driver's window. The driver, a blonde, winds down the window and asks what the problem is. The cop tells her that she was speeding and asks for her driving licence. The blonde fishes around in her bag for a while and then proudly pulls it out and hands it over. The cop opens it up and looks down. The cop looks up and apologises - "Sorry, I didn't realise you were a police woman too". She hands back the 'licence' and rides away on her motorbike. The blonde driver goes to pput the licence back in her back and realises that it was her compact mirror.

Elenna
23-Jun-06, 00:16
Q: What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

A: Hot cross bunnies.

Ricco
23-Jun-06, 16:46
Q: What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

A: Hot cross bunnies.

Dog! I had to chuckle at that one! :lol: