family feuds

[Bartlett Boy]

how long do these or can these last when words are like weapons and family say really hurtfull things and try cause bother the usual stuff can these be forgotten and move on or would could you hold a long grudge ????

or is it just stupid and petty when grown ups act like children ???

[theone]

As the saying goes 'you can pick your friends but not your family'.

I know many who go along with that.

I don't.

I pick who I interact with. Blood or not.

[BRIE]

sadly they can last years :(. But hopefully the people involved will realise that life is to short to hold grudges & they will all make up. Personally I hate any kind of conflict & fall outs.

[Rictina]

Oh famlies, hahahe....

I think from time to time that all families fall out.

[Dadie]

decades if not more!
Even until a life changing moment like death is not enough to heal the rift!
Or until one side backs down and bridges are made but it can be fragile for ages afterwards.... decades even..... until a biggy that needs family to lean on family to get through it!

[horseman]

No way- family feuds are the most difficult of all 'barneys' to get bye.
Perish the thought,I could wriite a book on our experiancies.:(

[Fran]

I think it is wrong, people should think carefully, make amends etc, ..life is too short, we might not be here tomorrow to tell loved ones we love them or we are sorry so say it today.

[S&LHEN]

:(They can last for years or a lifetime in some cases I think they all depend on what happened and actually on the people, Some people can forgive and forget while other people cant,
I dont think I could forgive a family member if they did something awful to somebody else, But generally i forgive very quick but forgetting is harder :)

[achingale]

Families can be a nightmare but at the end of the day you should be able to say what you think to your family and not fear repercussions for having an opinion. Friends are totally different. You can talk to them about anything and they will be straight with you. Of course we all fall out with our friends but we also always make up with them. Sometimes families are not so easy to get back on track with. There is a saying that blood is thicker than water but at the end of the day, families can hold a grudge for many years and you wonder if it is all worth it. I know it is hard but try not to take it to heart so much - it is tough though; I have been there. Know that you are a nice person, you have good friends and you have done your best. What more can you ask?

[balto]

Families can be a nightmare but at the end of the day you should be able to say what you think to your family and not fear repercussions for having an opinion. Friends are totally different. You can talk to them about anything and they will be straight with you. Of course we all fall out with our friends but we also always make up with them. Sometimes families are not so easy to get back on track with. There is a saying that blood is thicker than water but at the end of the day, families can hold a grudge for many years and you wonder if it is all worth it. I know it is hard but try not to take it to heart so much - it is tough though; I have been there. Know that you are a nice person, you have good friends and you have done your best. What more can you ask?
well said agree 100%, sometimes things get to the point where trying causes you so much upset and you think to yourself whats the point.

[equusdriving]

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts

So Don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up, and don't give in
You may just be O.K.

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

But i like many others find it very hard to follow this advice :~(

[Sniperama]

at the end of the day all we have in the world is family and wether you are in the wrong or they are if the family member means so much to you it is just as easy for you to take the blame and apologise, i dont think being stubern will help either side and i know if i fall out with family i could just as easy say sorry even a txt to say that things got out of hand and you want to forget about it.

hope helps

[debs]

totally agree with everything u hav said on here but why can sum people be so nasty to there kids?they do hav feelings as well

[Doreen]

I have to say that kids can be so hurtful to with things they say some things you can forgive but depends on what has been said .

[Bazeye]

My OH gets on well with both her sisters who live in Caithness. Unfortunately her two sisters dont speak to each other.

[ducati]

My OH gets on well with both her sisters who live in Caithness. Unfortunately her two sisters dont speak to each other.

It's hard to find any two people in Caithness who a speaking to each other [lol]

[Mrs Bucket]

Sadly they are sometimes taken to the grave.

[Bazeye]

Sadly they are sometimes taken to the grave.

Not me, I'll talk to anyone, whether they listen or not though thats a different matter.

[purplelady]

I have a cousin who has not spoken to her sister in 26 yrs xxxx

[Happy Rascal]

I have to agree sometimes words are said that no amount of time can heal no matter how much you try to fix things the cracks are still there.

[Bartlett Boy]

from personal experince its affected my family and caused rifts over nothing and its needless life to short ! you miss out on a lot of things you shouldnt because in all fairness we act like a bairn in a stooney and were adults bitching about nothing and why ?


thanks for all response been intersting reading

[Vistravi]

I think time is often a great healer in families. A couple of years ago i refused to speak to my mum after everything that happened when my dad died. I decided after 2 years that i no longer hated her and was ready to heal the rift. This caused alot of rifts with the family who were speaking to me so i may have made up with my mum but made rifts with the rest of the family for doing so. You can't win sometimes. I stand by my desicion and would do it again as it felt right to heal the rift between my mum and me. I have forgiven her for what happened in that bad time but it affects how much i trust people. I don't feel that i can fully trust people close to me.
If someone you love can leave you when you need them the most then how can you rely on them and trust them fully?

It seems illogical to think this way to me but its hard to break after so long.

[The Drunken Duck]

Haven't spoken to my stepfather in three years, my mother in five and my half siblings in ten. I never will again either, I have had so much crap thrown at me that I am indifferent to them all and to be honest, I have never been happier since I no longer have any of them in my life in any way.

[celtic lass]

everyones family feuds differ,and i would say nearly every family have them.Sometimes its parents that keep the siblings together when the parents are no longer here the siblings all go their own way and say then what they really think sorry to say but that's life

[horseman]

I have a G/son who I have never seen yet! An we are in the same town.! Moved house,so cannot horse in on them!! Bad place to be. We put it down to the glasgow bitch he married! Yea ,much to easy to say, but there you are,thats family for you.:(

[celtic lass]

I have a G/son who I have never seen yet! An we are in the same town.! Moved house,so cannot horse in on them!! Bad place to be. We put it down to the glasgow bitch he married! Yea ,much to easy to say, but there you are,thats family for you.:(
sorry to hear that FAMILIES can't live with them can't live without them

[Bartlett Boy]

when things in family affairs become blured and forgotten who said or caused what ever!!!! then we squable and hold a grudge in past i have held grudges!!!! but times getting on for me and life to short to be petty ive enjoyed reading the massive response

BIG THANKS ORGERS

[series2A]

I havnt spoken to my father for 34 years and have no intention to, even if he wanted to speak to me, I wont even bother to go and dance on his grave when he's dead, if he thought I would he get himself buried at sea [lol]
I didnt speak to my sister for 19 years but started talking again last year and we get on fine now but the reason for the fall out was totaly different to him.

[cherokee]

I really miss my niece!

I texted her a really stupid message (with hindsight!!) a few years ago, and she has obviously never forgiven me for it !! I'd SO love to be back in touch with her again,but after several attempts, I've given up.......... I always think of her though and wish her well.......... just to see/speak to her again................ :(:(

[celtic lass]

I really miss my niece!

I texted her a really stupid message (with hindsight!!) a few years ago, and she has obviously never forgiven me for it !! I'd SO love to be back in touch with her again,but after several attempts, I've given up.......... I always think of her though and wish her well.......... just to see/speak to her again................ :(:(
I don't know you but i hope it all works out for you,maybe just give it time :)

[cherokee]

I don't know you but i hope it all works out for you,maybe just give it time :)

Thanks for your kind thoughts celtic lass.

[celtic lass]

Thanks for your kind thoughts celtic lass.
families who needs them eh:(

[horseman]

Bet we could all write a book there sweeties, but what the hell--if thats where they want to be- I can pick my friends.:)

[welsh-witch]

id hate to fall out with my family, i love them too much, but i do know of families who bhave fakken out over something tivial n not spoken for years afterwards, life really is too short

[glaikit]

In my experience, the worst feuds are not the ones where there's a big, massive barney. It's the ones where folk don't speak and one of the parties has no idea what it's about:roll: You can't really defend yourself or put things right, if you never get told what's wrong in the first place.

It's also my experience that a family member would never talk to a friend, the way they talk to their close family. It's expected that you'll take seven kinds of crap off a family member by virtue of their birth.

I'm with some of the other posters: you can choose your friends. I was definitely adopted looking at some of the munsters in my family :eek: