A never ending story

[John Little]

Explanation;

We write a story; who knows - it may turn into a major novel
.
Rules



Contributors are limited to six words only per post



Posts must continue and follow what came in the previous post.



No-one to post two consecutive posts



Apart from that, as many contributions as you like.



People breaking the rules will be squashed by a large foot coming out of the sky.


I'll start;

.................................................. ..................................

A maniac stalked Thurso's darkened streets...

[joxville]

avoid John little, the pubic's advised... :)

[Sage]

Steer clear, he's mad and dangerous!

[wicker8]

i hear people say is there any truth in that you know what asmall towns like

[Kodiak]

little John's like John Little.

[wicker8]

oh john yes is it the same john little that lived in tormsdale place

[John Little]

... the nutter lived in Tormsdale Place...

[Commore]

I thought you were going to write the story after you retired early :)

[rich]

His maniacal laugh filled the night

[John Little]

...an axe in his hand...

[rich]

blood on his suede shoes

[Blarney]

..and revenge was his blinding desire.

[John Little]

THEY had done him wrong and...

[Blarney]

they were going to regret it....

[rich]

"Cut!" yelled the director "That's perfect."

[kjandcrew]

but in came an incomer .........

[kjandcrew]

but left and ....

[teenybash]

threw a newspaper at the director.

[kjandcrew]

"its the Groat" he yelled maybe we should ....

[rich]

Velma squeezed my arm, "Pentland Hotel?"

[wifie]

"I fancy a cocktail," she said . . .

(notice I can count six words and I ain't seen the Monty Python foot yet, John! :Razz)

[John Little]

A BLOODY Mary? He asked...

[rich]

Perfect cover - hotel full of Gaels

[John Little]

...who were shouting CELTIC ya bunch...

[rich]

A small gingerish man was shouting...

[John Little]

...something about kilts and blowlamps...

[wifie]

as he wafted his plaid about.

[John Little]

Shouting 'See you Jimmy' as he...

[rich]

Velma: " Come to my broom closet."

[John Little]

...but I ain't in the closet...

[wifie]

"You have come out?" she queried.

[rich]

A bucket there? OOR WULLIE?

[wifie]

"There's a hole in yer bucket, Velma!"

[John Little]

Then fix it dear Johnnie!

[rich]

Hands grasped me - streetcar tracks - where.....?

[John Little]

Streetcars! In Thurso- I realised instantly...

[rich]

This was a streecar named cassiemire

[John Little]

He leaped on the platform armed...

[wifie]

with only a rolled up Groat!

[John Little]

and attacked the conductor named...

[rich]

The hotel erupted - screams, howling, nakedness....

[wifie]

Chames Mackay from up West way . . .

[John Little]

shouted 'HOOOCH' and waved a claymore..

[rich]

Boris! Seeking genetically modified disintegrating tweed.

[John Little]

strode boldly through the Pentland hotel...

[wifie]

and attacked the conductor named...


The hotel erupted - screams, howling, nakedness....


Soz guys I am outta here - rich is writing his own private novella played out in his heid! Happy to say I canna get in there! :rolleyes:

[rich]

Too bad about that!
But you got to able to plot in these games! Otherwise it's....nothing!

[wifie]

Too bad about that!
But you got to able to plot in these games! Otherwise it's....nothing!

Well you said it hun! :Razz

[laguna2]

... and then the good fairy ...............

[wifie]

waved her wand and the frog . . .

[laguna2]

.. exploded into a million bits revealing ..................

[wifie]

revealing his true identity which was . . .

[laguna2]

none other than the org's own ..........................

[Blarney]

....Riggerboy, en route to Masked Ball....

[wifie]

he hez til keep hid on . . .

[teenybash]

Tajmahal McPherson fae Watten....

[joxville]

...half Indian, half Scottish, complete nutter....

[wifie]

lot of them about - certainly here!

[John Little]

well he got on his bike...

[laguna2]

and promptly fell off cos someone had stolen the front wheel ............

[John Little]

(More than 6 words! The big foot is after yooooo!)

He leaped to his feet brandishing...

[teenybash]

nuts and bolts, shouting...

[wifie]

"Cobblers!". . .

[John Little]

A coachload of shoemakers going by...

[teenybash]

stopped seeing the distressed Tajmahal and...

[laguna2]

warned him of the 6 word curse ....................

(that is six words and one number!!) :lol:

[John Little]

May all thy scrabsters fall off..

[laguna2]

He confused everyone ...............

[John Little]

by asking the cobblers if they...

[laguna2]

had a pound of mince .............

[wifie]

so they had a whip round . . .

[laguna2]

until the guy yelled STOP .........

[wifie]

that's my missing bunnet yer usin!

[John Little]

but by now it was full...

[wifie]

of foreign coins and brown buttons . . .

[John Little]

Tajmahal shouted - worse than Wickers ye...

[wifie]

even so he snatched the bunnet . . .

[John Little]

counting the Euros for a Greek...

[wifie]

meal from the new 'Spoons menu . . .

[John Little]

but then he remembered that Euros...

[wifie]

are dear to use just now . . .

[teenybash]

and wondered if a couple of....

[John Little]

Russian Mafia bosses would take it...

[laguna2]

in exchange for sweeties ..................... ;)

[John Little]

Suddenly a drunken duck called Fred....

[teenybash]

from Peking waddled and staggered to.....

[John Little]

to a nearby pub and ordered...

[laguna2]

Sicsh Pintsh and a hawf ..............

[John Little]

The cobblers stared in amazement and....

[laguna2]

said "but this is a church" .............

[John Little]

'I don't mind' said the Duck

[wifie]

"Any communion wine?" hic!!!

[John Little]

'Fowl Papist!' shouted a Wee Free....

[wifie]

"Nah - alkee!" he shouted back . . .

[John Little]

and a fight started, feathers, beak...

[wifie]

the pews were awash with . . .

[John Little]

hoisin sauce, cucumber and Scottish blood...

[teenybash]

The drunken duck was now featherless....

[John Little]

but still game, pecking Wee Free's.....


(GAME - get it?)

[wifie]

free wii shouting, "My turn!"

[John Little]

The disgusted cobblers reboarded their bus...

[wifie]

not realising the destination was now . . .

[John Little]

a leaky scow in Scrabster harbour...

[wifie]

the driver had a cunning plan . . .

[John Little]

involving insurance on his passengers' lives...

[wifie]

He had recently met up with . . .

[John Little]

a dodgy chiel frae Wick called...

[teenybash]

Eric Von Claptoot, whose mother was...

[John Little]

a retired one-eyed pole-dancer called Tillie... (hyphens are allowed)

[laguna2]

She had one of those faces ...................

[John Little]

that could scare great white sharks...

[laguna2]

... and turn men to stone ..........

[John Little]

Tillie took the scow's helm as...

[wifie]

the cobblers filed aboard with glee . . .

[John Little]

little realising that 'Suggs' Sinclair, rascally....

[wifie]

has stashed an old herring behind . . .

[John Little]

a box disguising a TNT smell...

[wifie]

The box was disguised too as . . .

[teenybash]

old treasure chest bursting with....

[John Little]

white Magnum bars covered in slime.

[teenybash]

The aroma wafted round the cobblers....

[John Little]

who were blown sky-high as the....

[teenybash]

brass band on the quayside started...

[laguna2]

pillaging all the ships ....................

[John Little]

suddenly Viking raiders from Orkney launched...

[teenybash]

an unrelenting attack on the bunch....

[John Little]

of bananas sticking out of the....

[teenybash]

wheeliebin, painted with go faster stripes......

[John Little]

Then the Pennyland branch of Taleban...

[laguna2]

... shouted "Who's for tea?" ..............

[teenybash]

Mavis McCurdy in the sandwich bar....

[John Little]

said 'sorry no halal here' suckers....

[laguna2]

... let's have a dram then shouted ...................

[teenybash]

My turn tae sing first and.....

[John Little]

sang ditties aboot mad mullahs who...

[teenybash]

who were decended from the mighty....

[John Little]

kings of old Alba inhabiting Wick...

[laguna2]

and trying to invade Thurso ....................

[floyed]

to get all there cheesecake for........

[John Little]

their mates back in Kirkwall toon.

[laguna2]

At last they set sail ............... ;)

[ClachanHope]

..to find the secret harbour at Portgower...

[Invisible]

......but of course, nobody was there...........

[ClachanHope]

...or they were hiding in the shadows...

[laguna2]

.. afraid of the werewolves that .................

[John Little]

lurked on Vampire's leashes under the...

[laguna2]

discarded Christmas trees which lay ..................

[teenybash]

the traffic wardens feet who was......

[laguna2]

trying to book santa's sleigh ..............

[John Little]

to use in Wick Gala parade...

[laguna2]

to try to outdo Thirsa Gala ................

[John Little]

Armed, wary, from Portgower harbour they.....

[teenybash]

marched with cudgels held high towards...

[John Little]

a mysterious portal emblazoned with words.....

[teenybash]

Strictly no wigs, false teeth or....

[John Little]

necklaces made from cloves of garlic....

[ClachanHope]

the werewolves, and vampires sat in wait..

[John Little]

but the cobblers had a secret....

[teenybash]

stash of "silver" nails and catapult.

[Invisible]

funded by a Nigerian general

[laguna2]

who laundered money as well as .................

[John Little]

running a rough chip-shop in Wick (hypens is allahed!!)

[teenybash]

The cobblers marched forth with their....

[laguna2]

lasts clutched in their hands ..............

[teenybash]

searching for soles to nail and.......

[laguna2]

heels to blister .......

[teenybash]

Through the portal an eerie figure.....

[laguna2]

keeked out at them ..................

[teenybash]

from bleary squinty eyes. It was.....

[John Little]

a nasty wee troll whose nose....

[teenybash]

dripped constantly, causing him to sneeze....

[John Little]

and snort into a bloodstained hankey....

[laguna2]

making everyone feel sick!

[John Little]

Unabashed, the cobblers advanced, awls extended....

[teenybash]

aiming to destroy snottery nose and.....

[John Little]

terminate him with extreme prejudice by....

[teenybash]

ramming their sharpened weapons directly into....

[John Little]

his Achilles heel, the weak spot...

[teenybash]

screaming, corsets bursting, he writhed furiously...

[laguna2]

trying to break the chains ......

[John Little]

thrown round him by the cobblers...

[laguna2]

but try as he might ......................

[teenybash]

they wouldn't loosen but tightened till......

[laguna2]

he felt he would never ..................

[teenybash]

breathe again and he didn't because.....

[laguna2]

he was dead!

[John Little]

Boldly the cobblers strode where no....

[laguna2]

one would ever find them.

[John Little]

A wild bearded figure confronted them....

[laguna2]

they died in terror!

[John Little]

This made the accompanying Vikings angry....

[laguna2]

so they jumped off a cliff.

[John Little]

Swam, sailed their ship to Wick.....

[teenybash]

intending to raid and pillage the........

[John Little]

Pulteney area, before dining at Spoons....

[laguna2]

but their compass broke and ................

[John Little]

they ended up in Wick high street...

[laguna2]

high and dry and looking at ............................ ;)

[teenybash]

the Pultney Pygmies performing in Marketsquare...

[John Little]

Furiously they drew swords and charged....

[teenybash]

50p per head to watch the.........

[laguna2]

morris dancing display. BANG! All eyes ................

[John Little]

turned to this stupid English idiocy...

[laguna2]

Gie's a break! roared one of .......

[teenybash]

the onlookers..... go rattle yer bells....

[laguna2]

in Lapland. Santa will be pleased .......

[John Little]

'Are beer-bellies allowed?' said a morrisman

[laguna2]

You need the tattie diet commented .............

[teenybash]

Dinky Dora fae Dunnet, while fluttering......

[laguna2]

her saltire in the face of ..................

[John Little]

Wee Eck whose state visit was....

[laguna2]

the most exciting thing to happen ................

[John Little]

since the infamous 1987 'nudist' Gala....

[teenybash]

where Caithness folk showed their......

[laguna2]

true feelings for each other by ...............

[John Little]

a ceremonial dunking of councillors in....

[laguna2]

a vat of old pulteney (hic).

[John Little]

Whooping Wickers danced round the vat....

[laguna2]

throwing lumps of ice and shouting ............

[John Little]

how's at for a frozen dacquiri?.

[laguna2]

They fell into an exhausted sleep ..................

[John Little]

So the Orkney Vikings stole their.....

[laguna2]

morris sticks and sailed away to .............

[John Little]

John O Groats to rob Americans...

[laguna2]

of their burgers and chips ..............

[John Little]

So fortified, hijacking the Stroma ferry....

[laguna2]

and tried to compete with P&O ..............

[John Little]

they hit an iceberg- women and children.....


(I think I am going to sit down this summer and put this story together so far....)

[laguna2]

LAST roared the vikings as they ...............

(remember your friends when the money starts rolling in):lol:

[John Little]

surged into the boats pushing aside...

[laguna2]

all in their path. The lifeboat ...................

[John Little]

was crewed by Goths, enemies of.....

[laguna2]

absolutely everyone! Silently they rowed towards ....

[teenybash]

a bunch of old mermaids strumming.....

[black16i]

cud yur mither ride a bike

[laguna2]

YES they roared and she won ..............

[John Little]

The mermaids took exception to this....

[laguna2]

and threw rotten fish hitting them .......

[John Little]

right where it hurts! They shouted....

[teenybash]

their eyes stinging painfully, "Fight time......."

[laguna2]

Flight time? Asked the English Team .........

[teenybash]

"Ye hev' missed it boys!!" roared.......

[John Little]

Big Angus fae Spring Park, "and...

[laguna2]

there's nae anither til 2014!"

[teenybash]

Meanwhile the owld mermaids splashed their.......

[John Little]

tails in the water and sang....

[laguna2]

"Row, row, row your boat gently ........................."

[John Little]

to Scrabster and the Upper Deck.....

[laguna2]

... to have a steak and ................

[John Little]

get pi-eyed on good Chardonnay...