View Full Version : Keeping secrets...
Should we keep secrets from our partners to keep the peace even if you have found out, the secret they were keeping from you?
Angel...
I think that is a decision only the person concerned can make.
John Little
23-Apr-10, 23:12
In major ways I have no secrets from my wife.
In minor things I do.
A spotted flycatcher nested in our garden a couple of years ago - she was thrilled.
One day the nest was empty and the chicks were gone - she was even more thrilled and hoped they would come back.
I know different - I found the chick dead and disposed of it not to upset her.
It depends on scale and particulars
Oh no, definitely blurt it out, cause a huge rumpus. The make up sex afterwards is always fantastic. :)
Keeping secrets can be fine but hate being lied to
ShelleyCowie
24-Apr-10, 10:05
I absolutely suck at keeping secrets, yet people still tell me them! :lol: Me and my OH keep nothing from each other.
On that note also we are both terrible liars, even when we are having a laugh about something like i steal a bit of his chocolate, he asks if i stole it. I say no...he knows im lying! :lol: Same back at him, i can tell right away!
And i really hate liars. Why lie? it gets you into more trouble.
I don't keep secrets from my husband (he knows the passwords for my e-mail and bank account) and I don't tell him lies. Like Shelley, I loathe liars.
hi theres lots of ways to look at this john little has a point i think i would of prefered it the way he has thought the matter out thats just like protecting his wife and thats really nice also i do know where oscar is coming from and theres different ways to look at this i remeber once i had a ornament it sat beside the fire on day i was dusting i picked the ornament upand low and be hold the head rolled of he said i dont know how that happened with a red face [guilty]but he broke it and sat the head back on now its quite funny its just material items the only thing was it was an antique and he still wont admit to it but we have no bad secrets just small minor onesbut then all relationships are different
Penelope Pitstop
24-Apr-10, 10:42
I just couldn't do the whole lies thing. I'll maybe not let on that it was me who had the last bar of chocolate or the last drop of wine in the fridge....bit like ShellyBain's comment!! lol
Only you know Angel what the consequences would be if you let on to your OH that you know what the secret is he's been keeping from you...only you know whether it will have serious consequences. ie. is it a huge secret or one that won't make much difference to either of you?? Only you can decide that.
Secrets, SHHHHH!! Certainy I keep Secrets from Mrs Kodiak. Like what I am buying for her Birthday, Christmas etc etc. The odd surprise gift, like flowers etc. Or any little surprise I might have thought up and this is usually at least once a week.
Imagine what it would be like if I did not keep all these little secrets, it would ruin everything.
On saying that I do NOT tell Mrs Kodiak Lies. Never have done and never will do. If I have a Little srcret, like the above, and I am asked aboit it then I just tap my nose with my finger and say, "I know a secret which you will know all about soon" But Lies NEVER!!
I think total truth is an ideal rather than a reality. I think we mean to be honest but rarely (when scrutinised) ever are.
Does my bum look big in this is an ideal scenario...
The man can not win either way... so he take a 50% chance... edging on the 'no dear it's fine'.
'Why are you late home' knowing it's my birthday tomorrow...
The doctor says you're fine and no need to worry...
If you believe keeping secrets is lieing then avoiding the truth is also lying...
Confidenciality is keeping secrets but presented in a more professional way...
So what was on my best friends mind honey...
Where does it stop...
Angel...
The lies I tell are the little ones such as ..is that new?...oh that old thing I found it at the back of my wardobe
How much did those shoes/haircut cost?
Answer about 1/2 what it really cost
Which do you prefer.. when shown 2 shirts I dont like.... I like the blue one (its his fave!)
Big things tell the truth it is better that way!
As for secrets I am bad blabbing and telling him everything anyway!
As for birthday/christmas pressies the kids tell him what he is getting long before the event:eek:
Should we keep secrets from our partners to keep the peace even if you have found out, the secret they were keeping from you?
Angel...
No way, trying to keep it would drive me mad:eek: better out than in, no matter what thats my motto. Sometimes in life we might hurt others even if it's not intended. I wouldn't try to 'out' anyone though.
Thats a devilsh little post there Angel. My take is that I would die defending or protecting her,an the Lord or the Devil would not come between us.But I would lie in my teeth to her if the occasion warrented it. an i have:( Needs must an all that. A concrete positive assertion is not at all times the only way forward.(An I hope that don't make me sound like a (rymes with stick).
We have had probs that could only be worked out with a lot of thought,an deep lying:(,an the honest truth would only have blown everything out of the water, an it worked.Hence my first assertion.
Everyone keeps a part of themselves secret and it's a good thing, I think. That doesn't mean having affairs, lying or emptying bank accounts but it does mean having something in your head that is reserved just for you.;)
Confidenciality is keeping secrets but presented in a more professional way...
Angel...
Confidentiality is guarding information that you learn in the course of your work. Information which is not yours to make public. It is not keeping secrets.
I once lied to my ex-wife, boy, did she use it against me! All I said was 'I do'. [lol]
hi theres lots of ways to look at this john little has a point i think i would of prefered it the way he has thought the matter out thats just like protecting his wife and thats really nice also i do know where oscar is coming from and theres different ways to look at this i remeber once i had a ornament it sat beside the fire on day i was dusting i picked the ornament upand low and be hold the head rolled of he said i dont know how that happened with a red face [guilty]but he broke it and sat the head back on now its quite funny its just material items the only thing was it was an antique and he still wont admit to it but we have no bad secrets just small minor onesbut then all relationships are different
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Just in case you need some :lol:
I never keep secrets from my better half, if she found out she would be very cross :eek:
George Brims
28-Apr-10, 00:46
In major ways I have no secrets from my wife.
In minor things I do.
A spotted flycatcher nested in our garden a couple of years ago - she was thrilled.
One day the nest was empty and the chicks were gone - she was even more thrilled and hoped they would come back.
I know different - I found the chick dead and disposed of it not to upset her.
It depends on scale and particulars
I used to have that sort of trouble with our dog - a wee sausage dog, mostly black with brown highlights. He would hide in his kennel and wait for birds to come to eat his food. He would come out of there like a bolt from a crossbow and munch them. I was always hiding the remains. Sadly he died without realizing either of his life's twin goals, to eat either a blue jay (like a magpie in drag and far to smart/fast for him) or a squirrel (they used to tease him something rotten).
George Brims
28-Apr-10, 00:49
Does my bum look big in this is an ideal scenario...
Ladies, you know that current look where you have on two tee shirts of different colours, and the inner one goes down over the arse of your trousers? I have news for you all - THAT is what's making your bum look fat.
Should we keep secrets from our partners to keep the peace even if you have found out, the secret they were keeping from you?
Angel...
Like you have found out they were cheating on you so do you have to still keep it a secret that you were cheating on them?
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