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View Full Version : I'm converting to Islam.



The Drunken Duck
11-Apr-10, 14:47
No really.

And here's why .. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article7094311.ece

I am going to then attend every meeting that a Labour politician attends in Metropolitan Police Jurisdiction in the run up to the General Election and bullseye them with my old pair of military boots. Right now I am giddy with delight, I can see a rapidly moving high leg boot impact Harriet Harman right in the coupon, I am smilling at the thought of scoring a double hit on the nose and testicles on Gordon Brown (well they DO come in pairs), I even want to hit that goon Milliband with a rapidly moving high leg just to see if his face can adopt any other expression than the drooling pratt one he probably wears even in his sleep.

In my minds eye the poetic movement of my boot, as it sails through the air on a perfect trajectory, is backed by the Chariots of Fire them tune. Then as it nears impact I see the face of the victim change from smugness to shock to a grimace of pain as it impacts and knocks them off their feet. And the best bit is that its Labour and their bowing and scraping every time a Muslim claims to be offended that I have to thank for it .. Oh the Irony !!

I will miss the bacon sarnies. But I reckon its totally worth it.

veekay
11-Apr-10, 14:53
Won't you have to change your name as well 'Drunken' Duck?

Sara Jevo
11-Apr-10, 16:51
I dont know enough about Islamic culture to say anything worthwhile about the Times article.

But I can think of a cultural analogy that may help put things into perspective.

In the UK it seems there is a purge against anyone caught carrying a knife.

Yet there is an informal exemption applied to those who carry a knife as part of their cultural dress - the skeann dhu.

I'm not one to rush in and condemn the authorities because different cultures do not conform to a narrow concept of "British tradition". It's a multi-cultural society.

northener
11-Apr-10, 17:02
Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Islamic Shoe Bomber'.

Visions of heavy aircraft dropping payloads of flipflops and 'bunker buster' wooden clogs on unsuspecting noggins below. Could be fun.

Welly hurling is already an established sport at some country fairs..so we have the expertise to form an elite shoe-hurling unit to strike fear into the enemy.

I propose this unit be named "Clarkes Commandoes".:Razz

northener
11-Apr-10, 17:03
Actually, a lot of problems in the ME could proably be sorted by having a mass flipflop hurling fight......

John Little
11-Apr-10, 18:08
It's total rubbish.

Unless someone shows me somewhere in the Koran or Hadith that God commanded Muslims to throw shoes then I don't believe a word of it.

It's not a religious custom- it's a cultural one and pretty objectionable. If they want to do it then let them do it in their countries of origin.

Here it's called Common Assault

The Drunken Duck
11-Apr-10, 19:17
Actually, a lot of problems in the ME could proably be sorted by having a mass flipflop hurling fight......

Plans are already afoot (sigh) for such an eventuality, here the Weapons division of Timberland are getting ready for the new market .. ;)

http://img686.imageshack.us/img686/797/66giantshoe.jpg

scotsboy
11-Apr-10, 19:21
It's total rubbish.

Unless someone shows me somewhere in the Koran or Hadith that God commanded Muslims to throw shoes then I don't believe a word of it.

It's not a religious custom- it's a cultural one and pretty objectionable. If they want to do it then let them do it in their countries of origin.

Here it's called Common Assault

I'm with John on this one. I have been in Saudi for 9 years now and nver seen anyone use this form of Islamic protest (apart from yer man on the Telly giving it to Bush), so I am not sure it is even Cultural. If it were, I am sure we could use the analogy of pelting people with eggs. Nonsense.

northener
11-Apr-10, 20:14
It's total rubbish.

Unless someone shows me somewhere in the Koran or Hadith that God commanded Muslims to throw shoes then I don't believe a word of it.

It's not a religious custom- it's a cultural one and pretty objectionable. If they want to do it then let them do it in their countries of origin.

Here it's called Common Assault

Absolutely. It's pandering and nothing more.

I look forward to hoiking a briefcase at Gordon Brown without fear of prosecution.

Phill
11-Apr-10, 20:26
Sounds like a plan, we can always unconvert after the election can't we?

Do they outline any specifications for the shoes? I'm thinking an externally capped derby boot back filled with concrete.

northener
11-Apr-10, 20:33
Well, I've been beavering away in Zer Secret Bunker (my shed) all day and have now perfected the Inter Continental Ballistic Brogue.

I now have the upper hand and the 'last';) word in shoe weaponry.

So you are now all my slaves.

My Thousand Year Empire is born...no-one dare challenge me!

Mr Z
11-Apr-10, 20:41
Finally its ok to get the boot in.

bekisman
11-Apr-10, 20:48
They seem to enjoy this: http://media-2.web.britannica.com/eb-media/12/76312-004-E3CCC6B4.jpg

Phill
11-Apr-10, 20:56
Ooooh!!! I've just had a thought!!

Does the shoe actually have to be thrown? Can it be launched?
I'm thinking of a small/medium sized trebuchet launching me concrete derby boots.
It's a double whammy, gives you a bit of distance so you don't have to jostle about in the throng and with a tad more impact.


Convenient and effective.

oldmarine
12-Apr-10, 03:47
Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Islamic Shoe Bomber'.

Visions of heavy aircraft dropping payloads of flipflops and 'bunker buster' wooden clogs on unsuspecting noggins below. Could be fun.

Welly hurling is already an established sport at some country fairs..so we have the expertise to form an elite shoe-hurling unit to strike fear into the enemy.

I propose this unit be named "Clarkes Commandoes".:Razz

I enjoyed reading your comments: In particular "a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Islamic Shoe Bomber.'